Mass Effect: Seeds of Fate
by Alversia
Summary: Be the first human spectre, stop an ancient evil...no pressure right? This is my interpretation of the Mass Effect, following Commander Lauren Shepard as she takes the first steps on a long journey. Some things will be familiar and some will not. Hopefully, it all combines into a good read.
1. Chapter 1

It was funny when people spoke of the power of emotions; anger and love being the main two, they never discussed the one that overwhelmed they both. Boredom.

When Captain David Anderson had first been approached with the news that humanity was to be permitted to elect a candidate for the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Citadel Council Security Forces, his reaction had been the same as everyone else. Excitement, that humanity was finally being given the chance by the Council to show what it could do, a sense of satisfaction perhaps, that the inevitable had finally become reality, and also a slight sense of unease. Since humanity had ascended to the stars in 2148, since they had discovered the Charon Relay orbiting Pluto and discovered the existence of the Council they had been building momentum up this point. They were not to be denied and although their long term goal was a seat alongside the almighty triumvirate, the Spectres were recognised as the first important step. With these joyous emotions however, there was the other side of the coin, the darker feelings that picked away forever at the back of his head.

There was the jealousy of course; the sense that someone else would get the opportunity to make history by enlisting in the Spectres. Anger that they had not made the inevitable decision ten years ago, when he was in his prime, when it most likely would have been him chosen. Regret, when he thought back all those years to his own failure and of course, guilt for all the negative feelings that ebbed and flowed through him, for feeling bitter that someone was being the chance of a lifetime.

The question now was; who?

Right now, he was sitting in a conference room on the Citadel, not even the spectacular view of the ward arms stretching out beneath his gaze enough now to break his mind from the heavy stupor into which it had fallen. When first he had been chosen as part of the selection committee he had been honoured. He had always been wary of 'committees', as in his view it just tended to be people sitting around and talking about nothing, but this time would be different. This time they were making a decision that could potentially lay of the path for future human induction into the Council.

Yet he was still bored.

Sitting across the table from him, pinching the bridge of his nose with a forefinger and thumb, eyes closed, was the primary cause of his boredom. Donnel Udina was the human Ambassador to the Citadel, one of the most important humans in the Alliance and worthy of great respect. Yet, he was a politician, born and bred. That meant he liked to talk. Why use one word when ten made the point better? Why answer with a sentence when a monologue could express it so much better? The week they had been together had dragged on incessantly, the deadline stretching off into the distance until he was sure that they broken the laws of relativity and were going backwards.

"Alright, so what about this one?" He pointed to a file that sat in front of him, sitting alongside a mountain of others that had already been rejected. Anderson tore his eyes down to the file, turning it over to stare at the photo that had been included. The man was chisel jawed, clean cut with mousy brown hair and cold, green eyes. He seemed to exude confidence, the air of subtle self-assurance that came from command. Beside the image he read the name, Captain Jason Walker.

"Born in Edinburgh, Scotland, the European Union, 2150. He has been awarded the Star of Terra for services against Batarian Pirates in the Attican Traverse. He has extensive experience of commanding starships, record is completely clean. He's perfect." The Ambassador spoke in his rich tone, flipping idly through the thick file.

Anderson did the same, although he had already familiarised himself with all the candidates. He had been expecting that Udina would push Captain Walker above the others and, in truth, there was little reason to oppose him. He seemed to be the perfect candidate.

Yet Anderson had learned over a long career to trust his instincts and ever since he had laid eyes on Captain Walker's file, there had been this gnawing doubt in his mind. At first he could not place it. He was not sure precisely what it was that so set him against the Scot. He was fiery, steady under fire, smooth in command and utterly unflappable in the few occasions he had spoken to the media. He was perfect. Anderson had slept on it, turning the file over and over until he could formulate his opposition into words.

As he once more went over his argument, he heard Udina speak once again, addressing the third man in the room.  
"What do you think, Admiral Hackett?"

There was a moment of silence and Anderson knew that the Admiral was weighing his own response. The scarred, grizzled veteran was not a man to be rushed into a decision, especially not when so much was riding on it. It was one of the traits that had seen him rise through the ranks of the Alliance Navy until he commanded the fifth fleet, protecting Arcturus Station and Earth itself. His judgement was highly respected throughout the Systems Alliance.

"He does seem to be the perfect candidate." He finally allowed, gravelly voice low.

"Excellent, if no one has anything else to add then I'll make the call." the Ambassador rubbed his hands gleefully together.

"Hold on, Ambassador. I do have one concern."

"Oh?" Although his expression remained calm and level, Udina's eyes bored right through the Captain, carrying a warning to the soldier that he would have to chose his next words wisely.

"I'm not questioning his achievements, they are to be respected. I am worried though, if he's the right material for the Spectres."

"What?" Udina gave a stilted laugh, as if he was not sure to be angry or amused by Anderson's revelation, "you've seen his record. He's been awarded the Star of Terra for god's sake."

"For commanding a ship under fire." Anderson pressed on. "Not for personal skill. Every time he has excelled, he's had the machinery of the Systems Alliance behind him. As a Spectre, he's not going to have that. He'll need to work on a shoestring. I'm not questioning his bravery or his command ability. I'm questioning if he has the personal skill to do the job himself." Now for the killing blow. "I thought we agreed that our candidate needed to have gone through the ICT program? Walker hasn't even been recommended for it."

A second pause as Udina weighed up his response. When he did speak, it was slow and reluctant. "We were never going to find the perfect candidate. There have to be compromises. Captain Walker is the best we've got."

"Not necessarily," Anderson watched as Udina's expression altered ever so slightly, eyes narrowing as he tried to work out the Captain's angle. He could also feel Hackett's eyes on him, interested. Undaunted, he continued,  
"There is another candidate. One who I feel fits the bill much better than Captain Walker."

"Who?"

"Shepard."

"Who?"

"Commander Lauren Shepard." Hackett repeated thoughtfully. "Awarded the Star of Terra for her actions during the Skyllian Blitz, I believe."

"She sealed a gap in the defences, holding off an entire platoon. She's the only reason Elysium is still standing." Anderson nodded, "She's also a graduate of the ICT program. An N7 I believe."

"We can't fault her courage." Udina allowed reluctantly. Anderson could see his resolve weakening.

"She's determined, skilled personally and experienced," Anderson pressed his advantage, "she's the perfect candidate."

"Where was she born?"

"Mindoir. She's a colony kid."

"Mindoir?" Udina frowned, as if he had seen an issue with this. Anderson was puzzled.

"Is there a problem?"

"Mindoir was not exactly the Alliance's finest hour Captain. A lot of negative press, especially here on the Citadel. Recommending a Mindoir colonist is going to bring up a lot of that old criticism. How was she affected?"

Anderson hesitated. "Her family were killed," a pause, "but she's moved past that."

"You are sure Captain? We can't send anyone who we aren't entirely sure is going to represent humanity at it's best."

"I'm sure. Think of it as a chance to show a survivor of Mindoir overcoming the disaster to be the best she can be."

"She's also a biotic. A biotic, Captain. You know the opinion on Earth, across the Alliance. I don't think recommending a biotic is a good idea."

"Ambassador." Anderson rubbed his eyes wearily. "We're not looking for a model here. Joining the Spectres requires the right person, the sort of person who is going to do what it takes, no matter what it takes. They're not guaranteed entry after all. We need to make sure they get in first, then worry about how they look."

"Perhaps, Captain, perhaps." Udina sighed in frustration, the frustration that a politician often got when he was forced to deal with issues outside of his own little comfort zone. As far as Udina was concerned, Citadel space started in the Council chambers and ended at the very edge of the Arms. Everything else beyond was just numbers on a spreadsheet. Anderson knew that keen mind was working behind those sharp, brown eyes. He was looking for a reason to shoot down Shepard, to see her dismissed and his own choice pushed forward. Anderson would stand his ground. He had to.

He saw a gleam in those eyes and his own narrowed. He could tell that Udina had found something to use, a new weapon to torpedo Shepard's chances.  
"I see that Shepard was rescued from Mindoir aboard the _Chicago_, when you were serving aboard Captain. You also arrived on the scene at Elysium, amongst the first I believe. I also see that you provided a character reference on her application form, you recommended her for the ICT program _and _you have just chosen her as your new XO_._" he sneered, "Forgive me Captain, but you always seem to be nearby when she gets the breaks."

Anderson blinked, stunned at the insinuation of the Ambassador. The dead cold of surprise was quickly replaced by the flowing hot surge of anger. How dare he suggest that all her success was down to him? That he was somehow showing favouritism for her. He needed to think of a response but he did not trust himself to speak, least he unleash his fury on the smug Ambassador.

"With all due respect Ambassador," It was Hackett who spoke up, much to Anderson's surprise. The Admiral had not taken much of an interest in the past week, taking the opinion that the Spectre's gain was his loss. He also took a grim view on politics and had no time for it's practitioners. His firm, commanding voice had therefore been something of a rarity in the discussions and that made its considerable gravity all the more powerful, his blue eyes flashed with anger, "I do not think that Captain Anderson could show her much favouritism in the Blitz."

"The reports may have been exaggerated..."

"I think the Captain would be doing exceptionally well to orchestrate two dozen reports from different perspectives all saying the same thing without touching the ground, wouldn't you?"

"Yes...well..." Udina shifted uncomfortably, caught under the glare of the Admiral, "I did not mean to insinuate anything of course. My words may have been...misconstrued..."

"Of course. Now, I believe I am also on this panel and my opinion carries some weight. I agree with Captain Anderson. I think that Commander Shepard is an excellent recommendation. I think she will distinguish herself and she will _not_ be an embarrassment to the Alliance. Shepard has my vote."

Seeing he had been outmanoeuvred, Udina just bowed his head though it did not take a genius to see he was seething. "I'll make the call." He stood and strode from the room without glancing back at Anderson.

The Captain relaxed, exhaling deeply and eased his balled fists. He glanced over gratefully to the Admiral, nodding gratefully,  
"Thanks for the help."

Hackett shook his head grimly and now Anderson felt that steely gaze trained on him,  
"Walker has been under my command for quite some time. He's an excellent soldier and I thought a fine recommendation for the Spectres, much as it pains me to say it. I'm trusting your instinct on this one, David. Are you sure there's nothing more behind this?"

Anderson's eyes narrowed as he heard the challenge in the other's voice. The Admiral's level expression did much to placate him however,  
"Trust me Steven. There's nothing personal in this. I think she has everything the Spectres need."

Hackett nodded, satisfied with the answer.

"You must be careful David; for your sake and Shepard's. Udina is not happy and he's not a man who takes denial well."

"I can handle the Ambassador." Anderson frowned.

"Well, let's hope for all our sakes that Shepard doesn't give him ammunition."


	2. Chapter 2

Through the cold and endless depths of space, there was only silence, a stillness that had existed since the dawn of reality. Sitting in the middle of the star laden expanse, there was the Mass Relay. The legacy of the Protheans, the highways of space faring civilisation. These fork-shaped devices, so sleek and elegant, sat forever vigilant, a gateway to the galaxy that lay beyond. It was a lonely existence, with the two great rings which rotated around its mass effect cores the only sign of movement. Slowly, the rings began to increase their pace, speeding up excitedly as it detected something approaching, a ship that had been flung across the galaxy by one of its brothers. It wound faster and faster, tensing as if in preparation to catch the little ship. With a final rapid spin and a flash of blue light, the ship emerged in the system and, unaware or uncaring of the Relay's efforts, it continued on towards it's destination.

The ship was small, an insignificant speck in the greater system. With its curved lines and long, slender shape, it had the appearance of a bird of prey about to dive down on a target, the sleek and menacing shape of a killer. Painted black and white, it was possible to make out her name painted proudly along each flank in a bold, blood red. _Normandy._

Within the cockpit, Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau scanned his readouts one last time, hands running easily over the orange interface as he guided his charge through the black sea of space. Seated in one of three forward chairs, located at the tip of the triangle, he confirmed what he already knew before he spoke.

"All systems are green. Drift...just under fifteen hundred k."

"Fifteen hundred is good. Your Captain will be pleased." His observer remarked, standing just over his shoulder and towering over the human, Nihlus crossed his thin arms over the front of his black armour, beady yellow eyes set in a solid mask ever alert while his mandibles flicked ever so slightly. He had patterns painted across his face, over his flat nose and around the top of his head where a series of bony ridges swept back to give the impression of a bird in flight. Without another word, he turned and walked from the cockpit. Instead his place was taken by another; a human woman who stood at about the same height as Nihlus.

She was much easier on the eye, with fair skin, blemished only with a single scar which ran from above her left eye and across her face to end just below her lip. She had high cheekbones and a soft, rounded face and a small, button nose. Her lips were a natural red with a thin mouth that was capable of effortless emotion. She wore her ruby-red hair short and curled into the generic bob that the military insisted upon. Her best feature was her eyes, almond shaped and the deep, royal blue of the ocean. They were soft and alluring, capable of captivating any who looked into them.

Her name was Commander Shepard.

She stood proudly behind Joker, back straight and hands behind her, watching his instrumentation with a childish interest, entirely at ease in the dark and claustrophobic cockpit, her eyes almost glowing despite the dimness.

Even though his XO stood directly behind him, he felt confident enough to speak his mind;  
"I hate that guy."

There was a moment of silence, which Joker almost took to mean that his declaration had been ignored before the soft-spoken reply came from his left,  
"Nihlus pays you a compliment...so you hate him?"

Joker rolled his eyes at the reply from the Lieutenant. Kaidan Alenko was normally a quiet man. The head of the Marine Detachment normally kept himself to himself most of the time, not really interacting with the crew. Even his presence in the cockpit was a surprise but Joker was never one to turn away company, not even of the silent type.

"Remind me never to mention how good you look in a hat." Shepard quipped, her rich accented tone dripping with amusement.

"No," Joker turned to look at Alenko, who had diplomatically turned his face away to hide the grin, feeling the corners of his own mouth tug slightly, "no, no. What I did is not good. Zipping up your fly on the way out of the bathroom is good. Filing your tax on time is good. I just fired us half way across the galaxy and landed in an area the size of a pinhead. Beyond a pinhead, like...the _atom_ in the centre of a pinhead! That's incredible!"

"He's probably just gone now to organise a party for you Joker." Shepard replied, a smile adorning her own fair features.

"Yeah, with a cake." Kaidan added.

"With a pinhead on it."

"The _atom _of a pinhead, Commander." The Lieutenant corrected loyally.

"Of course. With the words 'Joker is the most incredibly good pilot in history' written on it in red icing-"

"Yeah yeah," Joker shook his head as his two Superiors chortled quietly just out of view. Despite his sulk, he could not help but smile. "You didn't let me finish."

"We were too busy congratulating you." Shepard grinned cheekily.

"Well, what I was about to say was...having a Spectre on board gives me a bad vibe. Call me paranoid."

"You're paranoid." Kaidan got in just as Shepard opened her mouth, a sly smile crossing her features, "The Council helped fund this ship, they have a right to keep an eye on their investment."

"Oh come on Lieutenant, you don't really believe that do you?"

"He's not doing anything to endanger the ship and he's not working against the Alliance. I don't really have the need to go digging." Kaidan's smile had dropped slightly and he had taken on that laid back persona that so annoyed Joker. How the hell could he be so...chilled out about it?

"What about you Commander?" He hoped the XO was a bit less neutral.

Shepard hesitated,

"Well, I've never heard of them sending Spectres for shakedown runs." She shrugged her shoulders non-committally.

"Precisely! There's more going on here than the Captain's letting on."

"You think Anderson's in on it?" Kaiden seemed more curious now, turning just a little to keep his slender brown eyes on the pilot.

"He _has_ to be. Anderson would never let a Spectre aboard without knowing why he was here. There's something he's not telling us." Joker's voice had taken on a conspirational tone, as if he was delving into the deepest, darkest secrets of the Alliance itself.

Shepard rolled her eyes,

"Captain's privilege. He gets to tell us what and when he wants. Alenko's right; if he's not jeopardising the Alliance or this ship then it's not really any of our business. If it's good enough for him, it's good enough for us." There was a defensive edge to her voice that Joker picked up. He raised an eyebrow; why had she suddenly gotten so uptight? He had probably overstepped the mark. He did that a lot.

"Maybe it's because of you Commander." He said jovially, hoping to lighten the mood again.

"Me?" Shepard seemed taken aback, but her tone was carefully neutral, "What would he want with me?"

"Come on Commander." Now it was Joker's turn to roll his eyes, "you can't have missed him. It's not like he doesn't stand out or anything."

"It's a small ship." She shrugged again, "we're always going to run into one another."

"He never runs into me."

"Now there's a surprise." Kaidan added dryly.

"Tell you what Joker," Shepard said lightly, "this mission goes bad. I owe you a drink."

"Deal! I'll bet-"

"Joker. Status report."

Joker was derailed as the internal communicator rang with the sharp and no nonsense tone of their Captain. The pilot recognised the tone and shuddered. It was not the calm and reserved tone that Anderson usually addressed the crew in. It was harder, more clipped. For a moment, he wondered if the Captain had somehow heard their conversation. Anderson always seemed to have this knack of knowing everything that was going on aboard his ship at any time.

"Just cleared the Mass Relay now Captain. Board is green. Everything looks solid."

"Good. Find a comm buoy and link us into the network. I want reports sent to the Council as soon as possible. Have the Commander meet me in the debriefing room."

"Aye Sir. Better brace yourself Captain, I think Nihlus is headed your way."

"He's already here, Lieutenant."

Kaidan smirked while Joker grimaced. Shepard, on the other hand, looked serious.

"You get that Commander?" Joker half turned to the redhead.

"He does not sound happy." She shook her head and strode away.

"Pfft," Joker scoffed, "Captain always sounds like that when he's talking me."

"Can't possibly imagine why." Kaidan dryly fired in one last shot.

As Shepard headed back through the ship, striding purposefully down the long walkway that connected the cockpit with the CIC, she glanced around, still taking in many of the details on this most modern of ships. The _Normandy_ was a one off, a stealth frigate the likes of which did not exist in any navy in the galaxy. She had the ability to elude sensors at cruising speeds, a valuable asset both for battle and for extraction. She watched as crew sat in their chairs, running hands over the same orange interfaces while more were clustered around the Combat Information Centre. Here, there was a large central desk wrapped around a large, spinning map of the galaxy, with multiple consoles embedded within its surface. The Normandy was cutting edge, the best of the best; both in terms of her technology and in terms of her crew.

"Commander!"

Shepard looked up at the call to see Navigator Pressly stepped towards her. She stopped and waited patiently for him to cross from the little bridge overlooking the entire CIC to her position on one of the outer side walks. The experienced Officer saluted as he approached, and she returned the gesture.

"Ma'am, I was wondering if I could have a word with you." He said hesitantly, bald crown gleaming in the light.

"Sure, Pressly, what's on your mind?" She asked curiously. She was sure that the Captain could wait a moment.

"It's about this mission Commander," Shepard rolled her eyes. Was she the only one who trusted Anderson on this? "the crew have some...concerns about having a Spectre aboard."

Shepard didn't buy it, "you don't trust Nihlus."

"I don't like turians in general." Pressly had no troubles admitting it, giving a casual shrug, "runs in the family. My father fought in the first contact war and lost a lot of friends. Though it's not about that. It's the idea of a Spectre being here. We're an Alliance ship, human military but Nihlus doesn't answer to the Captain like the rest of us. Why send him? A turian Spectre, on a do-nothing mission? Nihlus looks like he's expecting heavy action and I don't like it."

"I know Pressly, I know." Shepard exhaled softly, running a hand through her red hair absent-mindedly, "I'll bring it up with the Captain when I see him."

"Thanks Commander, and good luck." the veteran Navigator seemed much brighter now that he had aired his concerns. He had given her a lot to think about.

As she passed to the rear of the CIC, barely acknowledging Doctor Chakwas and Corporal Jenkins as she walked by, deep in thought. She knew Anderson. She knew that he would never risk the safety of his ship and his crew. Yet Nihlus sat in the middle of it all like a great, turian shaped fly in the ointment. Much as she did not want to admit it, the Spectre would not be here unless he had an assignment. That meant that Anderson was keeping them all in the dark. Unless he didn't know himself. The possibilities and implications left her head spinning as she returned the salute of the two Marines standing guard over the double doors to the debriefing room and entered.

She froze at the doorway as she saw Nihlus standing, the black outline unmistakeable. He had his back to the door, flicking through images she recognised as Eden Prime. For a moment she was tempted to turn and wait outside for the Captain but she knew he would have heard the door open, he knew she was there. Seeing no other option, she walked forwards.

Nihlus did not turn until she was virtually beside him, the silence only broken by her footsteps on the metal deck.

"Commander, I was hoping you would get here first. It gives us a chance to...talk."

Her guard was instantly raised but her tone was civil, "what about?"

"I'm interested in this world we're going to; Eden Prime. I hear it's quite beautiful."

"According to Jenkins, it's paradise." She remembered the Marine discussing it a few hours earlier, "but I've never been myself."

"And yet it's not much different to Mindoir I imagine. Out of the way, a simple farming world."

Her mouth set into a hard line at the mention of Mindoir but she kept her composure, "I guess they are quite similar."

"Eden Prime is supposed to be a beacon of your people, a symbol of humanity's ability not only to establish colonies but also protect them. Yet Mindoir was destroyed. By raiders no less. Are you sure humanity is ready for this?"

"We've learned from Mindoir. Mistakes were made but we've recognised them and we've tried to improve." Shepard kept her voice level, cool blue eyes fixed on his smaller, yellow ones. "I'm sure the turian's initial colonies were not entirely secured."

"That is true, Commander, that is true." Nihlus' voice was thoughtful as the door hissed open once again. Shepard snapped to attention, firing off a salute as her Captain entered.

Anderson did not return it and Shepard went back to her original at-ease, position. Though he had not yet spoken, she almost sense his mood and knew she could get away with it. She could tell that he was agitated, nervous even. She watched him curiously as he paced.

"Commander, I think it's about time we filled you in on our assignment."

"This mission is far more than a simple shakedown run." Nihlus added.

"With all due respect Sir, that was not difficult to work out." Shepard did not look at Anderson but she could have sworn she spotted a small smile, "I'm guessing there's a reason you didn't tell me about this?" She tried to keep the hurt from her voice but it obviously showed.

"This comes down from the top. Information on a strictly need to know basis." Anderson's tone had taken on a sharper edge, more strict and yet she could sense that he was somehow trying to apologise for keeping her in the dark, "A team were expanding the main colony when they came across a beacon buried under the surface. It was Prothean."

"Prothean?" Shepard knew the surprise showed but she couldn't help it. Her mind was racing at the discovery. A Prothean beacon. She knew the stories as well as everyone else, about the data cache stored on Mars, how much it had jumped forward human technology. Suddenly all the secrecy made sense, the veil of silence cast over their assignment. A Prothean beacon was not an every day occurrence. It could be the discovery of their lifetime.

"Obviously Eden Prime doesn't have the facility to handle something like this. Our assignment is to retrieve the beacon, rendezvous with the 34th Cruiser Squadron and return it to the Citadel. You'll be in command of the ground team. Nihlus will be joining you."

She looked across the turian who was staring at her intently, arms folded. She met his eyes, locking gazes with the Spectre, "Never hurts to have an extra gun aboard."

"The beacon is not the only reason I'm here, Shepard."

"No?" She raised a single eyebrow.

"Nihlus is here to evaluate you." Now it was Anderson who was watching her.

"Me?" Shepard blinked, "Why would he be here to evaluate m-" Her voice trailed away as the penny dropped, along with her stomach. "Me?"

"Humanity's been pushing for this for a long time Shepard. We want more say with the Citadel Council. The Spectres are the Council's right hand, their authority. If they accept a human into their ranks, it shows how far we've come." Anderson spoke with enthusiasm but his gaze never left Shepard's, as if he was evaluated her response. For her part, Shepard could only listen, stunned.

"You held off an entire enemy platoon during the Blitz, you showed not only exceptional courage but also incredible skill and resourcefulness; traits that all Spectres require. This is why I recommended you Shepard." Nihlus continued, arms still folded, watching her almost as carefully as Anderson was. It seemed as though both were waiting for her to speak, to give some indication of her feelings.

For Shepard, it felt as though the world had dropped out from under her feet. She had never really considered herself as a Spectre seriously before, except perhaps in idle fantasies during the quiet hours. The Spectres were an ideal, not a goal. They were the elite of the galaxy; the best of the best, the symbol of the Council's authority, they were beyond the law; above reproach. Respected and feared throughout the galaxy. That she was being considered to join them, as the first of her species no less, was a surreal experience.

Looking at Nihlus, she seemed puzzled more than anything, "You recommended me?" She did not need to say it more plainly, _'Why would a turian want a human in the Spectres?'_

The Spectre picked up on it immediately, "Not all of us resent humanity, some of us see the potential in your species and what you have to offer the galaxy. I don't care what species you are, Shepard, I only care that you can get the job done."

"Then..." Shepard hesitated, "what do I need to do?"

Anderson smiled.

"I need to see your skills for myself, Commander. Eden Prime will be the first of several missions together."

"You'll be in charge of the ground team, secure the beacon and return it to the ship ASAP. Nihlus will be observing you." Anderson spoke concisely, smile gone and all business once again.

"Just give the word Captain." Shepard's voice was equally as concise, standing to attention, every bit the soldier.

"We should be approac-"

"-Captain we have a problem!"

Anderson was cut off suddenly as the intercom buzzed and Joker's concerned voice filled the room. The Officer's brow furrowed.

"What's wrong Joker?"

"Transmission from Eden Prime Sir! You better see this."

"Bring it up on screen." As the large screen in the comm room flicked into life once again, Shepard felt a sense of dread creeping over her. This would not be good.

She hated it when she was right.

It was not a transmission so much as a live feed from a battlefield. She could see Marines rushing backwards and forwards, grenades going off almost constantly, the throaty rumblings of assault rifles being fired and dirt being kicked up from near impacts. It looked like chaos. The feed was whipping around, as if the wearer was panicking, scrambling. A Marine rushed up and threw it to the ground before firing another burst at the unseen enemy.

An Officer's face filled the screen,  
"We're under attack, taking heavy casualties! I repeat, heavy casualties! We need evac, they came out of nowhere, we need-"

He was cut off as a volley of fire cut through the scene. The Officer fell back, eyes fixed upwards in an expression of indescribable horror. Behind him, Shepard could see the Marines simply stop shooting, all gazes raising as one to fix on a single point. The camera spun on the spot and fixed on the sky where, in burst of purple lightning, the clouds parted as a giant, blank hand seemed to stretch downwards, like a vengeful god reaching down to inflict justice upon the sinful mortals below. The feed cut out. In its place was only static.

Joker's voice returned to the room, heavy and subdued,  
"It cuts out after that Captain. No comm traffic at all. There's nothing."

"Reverse and hold at 38.5." Anderson ordered. The screen flicked before the hand returned, those fingers stretching out, ready to ensnare all below them. Shepard felt herself tense, a cold fear running through her, eyes fixed on the screen. She had never seen anything like it. Surely no species could build something like that? To the other side of Anderson, she could sense, more than see Nihlus' mandibles flicking although what that meant she did not know.

"Status report." if Anderson felt anything, he did not show it, for his voice was even as ever, only the furrowing of his brows betraying his emotions.

"Seventeen minutes out Sir, no other Alliance ships in the area."

"Take us in Joker, fast and quiet. This mission just got a lot more complicated."

"Have the parameters changed Sir?" Shepard asked, licking her lips, still watching that ungodly abomination on the screen.

"No, our mission is still to secure the beacon."

"A small strike team move quickly without drawing attention." Nihlus was almost talking to himself. He turned and strode purposely from the room.

"Tell Alenko and Jenkins to suit up. You're going in." Anderson turned to Shepard who nodded in understanding as she took in that image one last time; the fear within giving way to a cool anger. How dare this...thing attack a human colony? As she strode from the room, she made herself a promise.

Whatever this thing was and whatever it wanted. She was going to make it pay for this.


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as Shepard landed on Eden Prime, the similarities with Mindoir were immediately obvious.

The planet was a garden world, a land of rolling green hills which stretched off into the distance and baby blue lakes interspersed between. It was a simple world, a farming planet with fields dotted between the hills and the angled, white towers that were really the only evidence of human settlement. If she had been here at any other point, she was sure that she would have considered it a welcome change from the clogged up Earth or sterilised Arcturus Station. The temperature was modest, the air was fresh. It was indeed, as Jenkins had insisted, a paradise.

Right now however, the planet was under attack. The sky had been coated in a fierce red colour, as if it somehow knew of the blood being spilled under its gaze. She could see burn marks in nearby trees from near misses. She could smell the death in the air, that horrific smell of singed human flesh that carried in the gentle breeze. She could see bursts of fire being launched from the tops of the towers, where the Colonists had obviously retreated in the face of the assault. Some of these bore wounds too; great chunks taken out with larger accelerator cannons; tank or fighter based, she could not truly say. The area around them was deathly quiet, as the battle had already moved on and the victims in this area claimed. Although she was scanning the horizon for enemy forces; she could not help but spare a look in Jenkins' direction.

She understood what it felt like to watch your home burn.

She was kneeling; her M-7 Lancer sitting comfortably in her hands, butt resting against her shoulder. To her right was Lieutenant Alenko, fitted in the same light, black armour as her, identical in every way save for the 'N7' insignia on her chest. He was carrying a pistol, the weapon steady in both his hands. Alenko's combat skill did not come down the barrel of a gun but from his mind. Alenko was a biotic, a damn good one, but that meant he needed to wear lighter armour and carry a lighter weapon's load to ensure he did not lose balance or concentration in a fight; both of which could be deadly.

To her left was Jenkins, dressed in the heavier armour of the Marines and sporting the same weapon as she. The larger, bulker soldier was stock still but she could feel the anger emanating from him. This was his home; in flames. She could empathise but an angry soldier was a danger to himself and to his squad. She could not afford him making a mistake; not when they were so isolated. They had been dropped alone by the _Normandy_ in a small clearing; not far from the dig site. Nihlus had been launched ahead of them, promising to scout ahead and keep in contact. Shepard was not going to argue with him. He knew what he was doing. Aside from that; they were to maintain radio silence.

Moving carefully forward, Shepard checked the angles for signs of an enemy ambush. She wondered who was behind the attack, what that hand had been. It was not the Batarians she knew; this was not their style. The fact that the fighting was still ongoing was indicative of that. Hell, the Batarians should not even have attacked Eden Prime; it was far too well protected. Her mind went to the beacon. The Batarians would risk the wrath of the Alliance to secure that beacon? The immediate answer was yes. If it could give them the edge over their old enemy then of course they would attack. It was worth provoking the council. Unless she got there first.

"Bastards." Jenkins' trembling voice came over the communicator in her helmet, "Bastards. They are going to pay..."

"Jenkins." Shepard cut across him, voice sharp, "Keep calm. We're going to get them for this but I need you to stay sharp. Stay focused. Got that?"

"Yes ma'am." Jenkins' voice was reluctant but accepting and she felt a hint of pride at the Marine. He was young, this was his first assignment and for it to be his home that was burning; he was handling it magnificently. She knew he would do as he was told.

"Alright, let's move out."

They covered the ground quickly but cautiously; always watching for signs of the enemy. They used the same standard pattern; one moving forward from cover to cover while the other two watched for signs of attack. They repeated this pattern time and time again; a procedure that had been drilled into them since the beginning of their training. They knew it by heart.

As they moved around a corner, they were confronted by a long walkway with stone slabs positioned along either side. Perfect cover. Shepard scanned the horizon with those sharp, blue eyes along with each rocky outcrop. It was also the perfect area for an ambush. Her instincts were piqued but nothing was stirring and she could not afford to hang about. Settling behind the nearest outcrop, rifle out in front and Alenko settling beside her, she signalled for Jenkins to move.

As soon as the Marine pushed out from cover he was in trouble.

As soon as he had exposed himself, looking to move forward into the next piece of cover; two small, silver objects appeared from behind the furthest rock. They took no time to settle; no time to aim before they were shooting at Jenkins; peppering him with fire. The Marine's shields took the first few shots but then Shepard could see him shudder as the rounds tore through his armour and he slowly fell backwards.

It had taken just a few seconds.

As soon as the first had started firing, so had Shepard. She locked on to it, peering down the scope of her rifle before squeezing off bursts of fire. The gun growled in her arms, kicking back as the light blue rounds smashed into Jenkins' killers. The first was ripped to pieces by the fire and fell in a burning heap to the ground. The second exploded as Kaiden went to his Omni-tool to quickly overload its systems. The silence which fell after the sudden violence of battle was deafening. The pair of surviving humans approached Jenkins more in hope than expectation. Kaiden knelt beside the young soldier while Shepard watched for more hostiles. Despite her alertness, she saw him shake his head.

"Ripped through his shields. Never had a chance." Kaiden's voice was heavy.

Shepard exhaled heavily but did not let herself look down. He would not want her to risk herself like that. She focused herself, breathing deeply to steady herself before she spoke in the same even voice she had used so far,  
"We'll make sure he gets a proper burial once the mission is finished, but I need you to stay focused."

"Aye ma'am." Kaiden was not looking at her but down at Jenkins. He had not been on the ship long but he had been part of Kaiden's unit. He had known the soldier a lot longer then she had. She felt a strong surge of sympathy for him but they still had a job to do. As much as it hurt, they needed to get to that beacon or they would all suffer for it.

As if to remind them of that goal, their communicators sounded with Nihlus' crisp, disciplined voice.  
"There's some burning buildings up here Shepard. Lot of bodies. I'm going to check it out. I'll rendezvous with you at the dig site."

"Roger." Shepard replied and nodded to Kaiden. The Marine sighed heavily and raised his pistol; once more the soldier. The best way they could honour Jenkins was to ensure the mission did not fail; make his sacrifice mean something and see that his home was saved.

It was the least they could do.


	4. Chapter 4

As they moved on, they encountered more of the drone things that had killed Jenkins. Shepard had never seen anything like them before. They were like turrets, yet smaller, more streamlined and unlike any design she had seen the Batarians or Council forces use. They did not even have the same weaponry as turrets but a strange pattern. It was more rapid than she was used to and it seemed to be especially effective against shields. Twice she had been fortunate to escape the same fate as Jenkins, rolling out of the way just as her shields failed before Kaiden finished them off. She had never fought with the Marine Lieutenant before but she had to admit that they were working well together. Between her assault rifle; his engineering ability and their biotics, they had everything covered. The drones were rather easy to destroy so their progress was not overly slowed.

They were getting close to the dig site, Shepard reckoned they were only a couple of hundred metres from their destination, when Kaiden made a quick hand signal;

_Movement ahead._

Taking cover behind a rock, Shepard peered over it and watched with a raised eyebrow as a human appeared around the corner.

She was wearing white medium armour with pink lining along the edges, helmet cracked as she rushed. She had a pistol in her hand, rifle secured compactly to her back. She was being chased by two more of those drone things which were peppering the ground behind her, almost as if they were annoyed by her habit of running away. Gripping the pistol, she spun and fell onto her back, firing frantically at the two drones. The shots hit true and both collapsed in twisted and torn metal.

The woman did not have time to revel in her victory however. Scrambling on all fours, she ducked in behind a large rocky outcrop and pulled out her rifle. The weapon folded out in her hands as her enemy came around the corner. They were uniform in height, grey coloured humanoids with slender builds, two toes on each foot and three fingers on each hand. They were obviously not organic, judging from the piping that extended from their bodies, a surreal blend of organic lines and synthetic materials. The most bizarre thing however, was their heads. They were like a single blue flash-light nestled in a curved housing which gave the bizarre impression of a head and a neck. They were making rapid clicking noises at one another, some form of machine language Shepard could not understand.

They were approaching the trapped soldier; planning to surround and flank her, to administer the killing blow.

Shepard did not even hesitate. Hauling herself up she sprinted forward, firing bursts of her rifle at these strange synthetic enemies. Behind her, she could hear the crack of Kaiden's pistol as he gave her some covering fire, the shots bouncing off the shields of the nearest enemy but serving to distract it as it fired on the human marine, its strange, bulbous rifle firing in the same manner as the drones. Kaiden ducked back down as the blue rounds peppered his cover. Shepard concentrated on the nearest Synthetic, her entire body glowing blue as she channelled her power, extending an arm. A burst of blue light engulfed her target, lifting it helplessly into the air. As it floated impotently, she turned on the other being, bringing up her rifle. It was shredded under her fire. The pink clad soldier had been anchored in surprise as her rescuer appeared but now she emerged from cover and finished off the floating enemy which fell to the ground a smoking ruin.

"We're clear." She called to Kaiden, who emerged from cover, watching the new soldier in surprise, "Cover the pathway." He moved past her, pistol raised.

Turning back to the human, Shepard studied her carefully, "You okay Soldier? What's your name?"

"Yes ma'am." Her voice was clear and concise. "Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams of the 212th."

"Where's the rest of your unit?"

"Gone ma'am." Her shoulder slumped slightly, her voice getting a little thick.

Shepard's expression softened, "I'm sorry. What happened?"

"We were patrolling out at the main colony when the attack came. We tried to double back to the dig site but we were ambushed and overwhelmed."

"By these things?" Shepard looked at the nearest one, lying still on the ground, leaking silver fluid over the rocks. She knew she recognised them. Then it clicked. "They look like Geth."

"I think they are ma'am." Ashley nodded in agreement.

"But they've not been beyond the Perseus Veil in over 300 years. Why are they here now?" Kaiden asked from his position covering the path.

"They must have come for the beacon." Ashley shrugged.

"You've seen it?" Shepard asked gently.

"We were brought in to protect it. Its just at the end of this pathway." She nodded down the route she had fled.

"Alright," Shepard checked her weapon, mulling over her options, before she glanced back up at the Marine. She looked steady, despite having just lost her entire unit in battle. There was an anger to her that could be useful. At the same time, the fact that she was standing to attention displayed her discipline. She was a Marine through and through. It was a no brainer really.

Ashley seemed to have made the decision for her,  
"Ma'am...I know this is your mission but...they wiped out my entire unit. I _need _a chance at payback. Let me come with you."

Shepard nodded, "Glad to have you on the team Williams. Let's move out."

The pair joined Kaiden at the mouth of the pathway and, with just a single deep breath to steady themselves, they pressed on towards their goal.


	5. Chapter 5

"This is it! The beacon was right here, it must have been moved."

Shepard exhaled softly as she paced around the centre of the dig site, which was now very obviously beacon-free. Behind her, Kaiden was pacing up and down with his pistol, visiting each of the downed Geth to make sure they would stay down. The fight to the dig site had not been difficult but it had been time consuming. More than once they had been forced to detour around large numbers of Synthetics they could not hope to defeat while the small isolated groups they had ran into had not gone down easily. Shepard was exhausted from the constant use of her biotics while her weapon was glowing hot in her hands. She was aching from a couple of near misses and grenades that had gone off a bit too close for comfort. The number of Geth had risen exponentially the closer to the dig site they had gotten, to the point that Shepard had been worrying how they were even going to extract it.

Seemed like someone had taken the problem out of her hands.

"Who moved it? Our side or the Geth?" Kaiden asked from over her shoulder, finishing off another prone Geth with a clean shot through the flashlight.

"I don't know, it's hard to say...the research camp is just up that hill," Ashley pointed up at the ridge face against which the dig site was located, with a single pile of angled dirt providing a makeshift path up to the top, "maybe someone up there knows."

"You reckon anyone got out of here alive?" Shepard was sceptical as she scanned the top of the ridge.

"If they were lucky. The 232 was with them, maybe their unit fared better than mine did."

Shepard did not say anything but the glance she exchanged with Kaiden expressed everything. They had encountered a lot of dead humans on their route, both civilians or soldiers. Given the concentrations of Geth they had ran into it was highly unlikely that any unit exposed in the open in the epicentre like this could have lasted so long without support. The sounds of battle were still ringing in their ears but they were far off, distant. The Geth were pushing the defenders back.

Bringing a hand up to her helmet, Shepard activated her communicator,

"Nihlus, it's Shepard. We've secured the dig site but the beacon's been moved."

"Understood." If Nihlus was surprised or disappointed by this news, it did not carry to his voice. "There's a small space port up ahead. I'm going to check it out, I'll meet with you there."

"Roger." Shepard hefted up her rifle once again and checked to see if it had cooled down. Satisfied, she nodded towards the slope, "Let's keep moving." She felt a sense of dread run through her body. If the Geth had moved the beacon then the chances were that it was already out of their reach. The fear of failure seeped into her veins, making her feel cold. Too many people had died here today; the Marines and Civilians they had spotted, Jenkins, for them to fail. Their sacrifice _had_ to have been worth something. She was going to make sure of that.

"Alright, let's check the research camp." Shepard said reluctantly as she glanced once more up at the ridge. She had a sense that things were not going to get much better when they reached the top.

She really hated it when she was right.

Ashley's query as to how the 232nd Regiment had fared was answered almost immediately. As they stepped over the scores of Marine bodies, Shepard looked around the devastated camp site. The portable, angular buildings had been scattered and shattered. Most of them were on fire, the smoke snaking up into that blazing red sky, the smell of cooked flesh was worse here than ever and Shepard fought to keep back the raising feeling of nausea. The sinister crackling of the fire only added to the surreality of the scene. In comparison, there were no dead Geth.

Shepard could feel a heavy lump in her chest,

"Do a quick scan for survivors, then we need to move on..." Her orders trailed away as her sapphire eyes fell upon a series of spikes raising out of the ground, each twice as tall as a human. Each had a human impaled on the top like a fish on a spear, blood running down the silvery needle. Shepard watched, transfixed on the bodies. They were human, but not as she recognised them. Their skin had taken on a metallic, mottled grey, their forms laced with machinery and glowing blue lights.

"What are the Geth doing to them?" Ashley was looking on, her voice laced with horror.

Before Shepard could answer, the spines began to retract with an eerie, hollow, mechanical noise, dragging the grey bodies with them. When they finally disappeared, the forms began to twitch.

"Oh god, they're still alive..." Kaiden uttered beside her.

Shepard watched in horror as the...human no longer described them...jumped off their mounts with a burst of blue electricity. Turning to face the trio of soldiers, they made a guttural, keening animal sound that Shepard had not known a human could make. With no further provocation, they charged.

"Take 'em down!" Shepard called. Behind her, Kaiden raised his pistol but Ashley hesitated, only bringing the weapon half up.

Both Shepard and Kaiden threw a single hand out; Kaiden his right and Shepard her left, each glowing with a fierce blue energy. The combined biotic burst threw the charging monstrosities back hard against the ruined buildings, into the burning fires, smashed their forms against trees or the ridge face itself. The scene descended once more into that eerie type of quiet that none of them found comforting.

"Check them." Shepard finally ordered. No one moved. She turned to her compatriots. Kaiden was looking at her, Ashley still had her weapon half raised as if frozen in time. "Check them!"

Kaiden moved quickly forward. Ashley still had not moved. Only when Shepard looked at her did she gulp audibly and advance, rifle lifting all the way this time.

Shepard waited until Kaiden confirmed that they were down before she began to check the buildings. Most contained only scattered personal effects and dead scientists but then she came across one that was intact and locked.

Frowning at it, Shepard summoned Kaiden with a single gesture. As the Sentinel came up on her shoulder, she nodded to the door,  
"See what you can do."

"Aye ma'am." Kaiden activated his omni-tool and was rewarded moments later with a friendly beep.

Ashley waited outside as Kaiden and Shepard rushed in, eyes scanning nervously for signs of those...demons...she could hear voices within, Shepard, Kaiden and two others. One sounded almost gushing in relief, but the other sounded agitated. He was almost shouting. Shepard's voice cut over him, soothing and level after the high pitching panic before. He seemed placated. The other girl spoke again before Shepard and Kaiden came back outside. Shepard looked thoughtful, Kaiden looked worried.

"Well?" Ashley looked from one to the other with hopeful eyes.

"Two of the scientists from the dig." Shepard explained, "They managed to hide in here during the initial attack. They say the beacon was moved to the nearby space port this morning, before the Geth arrived. If it's going to be anywhere, it'll be there."

"So we're heading to the space port ma'am?" Ashley looked to the redhead, who nodded.

Kaiden still looked worried. Ashley glanced over,

"Something wrong, Sir?"

"The other scientist." He frowned, soft voice slow with thought, "he was proclaiming the end of the world or something but...he seemed so sure...and he kept mentioning a turian..."

"Not your friend?"

"I don't think so, he said that the turian was here before the attack..." Now Shepard looked worried, chewing her bottom lip, "It was probably PTSD." Yet the worry did not leave her face, "come on, we need to secure that beacon."


	6. Chapter 6

_How had it gone so badly wrong?_

As Nihlus evaded around Geth patrol and slipped ever closer to the space port, that one thought kept swimming around and around in his head. How had it all gone so wrong, so fast? The attack on Eden Prime was not too bad, he had already expected it, more than likely. With the Beacon and its close proximity to the hostile Terminus Systems, he would have been more surprised if it had _not _been attacked at some point. It was supposed to be top secret, but then he had learned in his long career as a Spectre that top secret just meant people were less likely to tell it to strangers. Even the Geth were not too much of a leap in logic, although of all the races he would have thought were queuing up for a shot at the beacon, the Geth were the last he would have been expecting. Given their history of hiding behind the Perseus Veil and not interacting with organic races, except to kill them, he would not have placed them here. The worst thing though, was that strange object that had been descending to land on the video transmission they had received. He had never seen anything like it. Never even _heard_ of anything like it.

He wondered if the Council would even believe this report.

He had moved quickly but quietly through the Eden Prime countryside, paying no attention to the inherent beauty that surrounded him. He had eyes only for the Beacon. It was obvious that the Geth had landed close to the dig site and spread out, pushing the humans away from their landing zone. They did not want any interference with their extraction of the beacon. He was sorely tempted to blame the Humans for the disaster, to claim that their lack of preparation had somehow been responsible for everything going to hell but Nihlus was just not that type of turian. He had long learned to look at things objectively, to recognise when a turian's mind-set could present more problems than solutions. He could see that there really was very little else the humans could have done, not outnumbered as badly as they were and surprised on top of that. That they were still fighting at all showed a kind of resilience that his people had come to respect and fear in equal measure. A human did not just stay down when he was hit. He got back up and tried again. He should know. He had hit enough of them.

Thinking on the other reason he was here, although the beacon had obviously become top priority, he could not help but be impressed with Shepard's conduct so far. Nihlus was not going to pretend that either of their jobs was easy, but he would not have envied being in her place. What was it that Captain Anderson had called her and her team?

…the…_muscle_?

Nihlus liked that phrase. Quick, simple and efficient. He dreaded to think of a turian alternative. It would have needed to be grand and noble, to induce memories of great sweeping victories and raw, devastating power.

'The _muscle'_ sounded fine.

Yes, Shepard was meant to provide the bulk of the group's firepower with three soldiers, one of whom he understood had already been taken down.

Three soldiers against the Geth hordes…

…at least he could hide if a big group came by.

In a way, he was grateful for this attack. Obviously the loss of life was a terrible thing, but it was giving him an opportunity to see Shepard work in a way that he would not otherwise had gained. That she made it to the dig site was incredible. That she was now pushing _beyond _that and towards the port was just showing off.

He permitted himself a small smile as he thought of the human female. Anderson had been convinced she would accept but he had not been so sure. Humans did not tend to react well when put under that sort of sudden pressure. She had reacted well; just as she had done so when he prodded her about her destroyed home. Touching a raw nerve was often the best way to see an individual's core. Heartless perhaps, but valuable. Spectres did not need personal grudges, they already had enough shit thrown their way without bringing in outside influences. He was confident Shepard had indeed moved beyond Mindoir as Anderson claimed. Already he could see her becoming one of the best Spectres in the history of the branch. Perhaps even _the_ best.

Speaking of which…

As Nihlus reached the space port, he ducked behind a nearby wall. There were no Geth here. He guessed that they were strengthening the outer defences against Shepard's onslaught, trying to hold her off long enough to get the beacon safe. Even better for him.

There was one being there though.

Nihlus had caught a glimpse of him before he ducked but he had been so taken aback by the appearance that confronted him that he simply kept going. It was only when he was behind the wall that he thought it over.

_Surely it couldn't be…_

He turned out of cover, Phaeston assault rifle ready, and finger on the trigger.

He lowered the weapon, mandibles flicking in obvious surprise.

"Saren?" he asked faintly, as if he did not quite believe it.

The turian turned at the mention of his name. Saren was large for a turian, bigger and bulker than Nihlus even with the armour. The three quills that stretched out from the back of his head were much longer and thicker while his eyes glowed an unnatural blue. His body was a strange mixture of mechanical additions and organic tissue with the most notable example being the broad mechanical right arm, pipes running from it to his shoulder. Nihlus was not perturbed by the sight of the arm. Not anymore. What shocked him was his mere presence.

"Nihlus." He answered in greeting, bowing to his old friend.

"This isn't your mission Saren. What are you doing here?" he was suspicious but more curious. Why was the Council's top Spectre on Eden Prime? He was also a little surly. Why would his former mentor appear on one of his missions? Did he not think he was capable of the job?

"I detected Geth signatures not far from this system." He answered in his deep, rumbling voice, arms crossing over one another, "I knew where they were heading. I thought you could use the help."

Nihlus was sure as hell not going to turn away his help. He gratefully nodded, "Thanks."

"Anything for a friend," Saren's voice was cool and utterly neutral.

Nihlus lowered his rifle and turned away, looking back towards the small space port. With Saren alongside him they could cover twice the ground. It would be just like old times. Better he go with Saren as well, the turian had never particularly liked humans. He would need to keep an eye on him.

"I wasn't expecting to find the Geth here." He admitted quietly, "The situation's bad."

"Don't worry." Saren replied calmly, instantly soothing the Spectre's fears. Yes. With Saren they could not fail, "I've got it under control."

Then he heard the gunshot.


	7. Chapter 7

"How far to the space port now Lieutenant?" Shepard asked as she waited once again for her rifle to cool. The Lancer had many advantages but when it overheated, she might as well throw the damn thing for all the use it would be in a fire fight.

"According to the Nav ma'am, it's just over this hill." Kaiden was sitting down, pistol still in his hand, sweat running down his brow under his helmet. Shepard did not begrudge the man a quick break. He had been using his biotics a lot in the short journey between the dig site and the port and now he would need a moment to compose himself.

"Didn't the turian say he was going to meet us here Commander?" Ashley asked, speaking quickly but never once straying from her sentry post.

"He said he would meet us _at_ the space port." She sighed, tapping the butt of her rifle on the ground impatiently, "Until we go over the hill we're not at the space port yet."

"Do you think he's already secured the beacon?" Kaiden asked hopefully, his voice growing in strength thanks to his rest.

"Doubt it. Not if he's run into the same numbers we have." Shepard shrugged, looking through the scope of her rifle.

"But he's meant to be the discreet part of this mission, is he not?" Ashley asked over her shoulder.

"Chief, when was the last time you heard the words; 'military', 'turian' and 'discreet' used in the same sentence?" Shepard did not even bother to turn around but spoke over the communicator.

"Good point Commander." Ashley trailed off.

Shepard picked up on it, "Still thinking about those farmers?"

"You mean the smugglers?" Ashley snorted in derision, "keeping mods from the military. What a bunch of bastards."

"I'll take that as a yes." Kaiden whispered. Shepard just looked at him.

"And that noise they kept talking about…that awful buzzing noise…" She shook her head.

"You didn't hear it did you Chief?" Shepard finally turned to face the woman.

Ashley shook her head, "All I heard were Geth and guns."

"It was probably just the Geth trying to block communications." Shepard thought out loud.

"Inside their heads?" Kaiden asked.

"Or it could have been psychological." She shrugged, "Look, until half an hour ago, all I knew about the Geth as what I had read in a high school history book. Now that I've met them; all that I've learned is that there are thousands of the bastards and they are bloody accurate." She rubbed at her shoulder where a Geth round had hit her shields. It had done no damage, but the impact had still stung. Both her shoulder and her pride.

"How many do you'll think we'll find at the port?" Kaiden asked.

"If its anything like the rest of Eden Prime? Millions." Shepard sighed as she hauled herself up. Her weapon was no longer hot enough to melt rock, so she was confident it would fire with some degree of accuracy again. "Let's go find out."

Then they heard the gunshot.

For a moment, no one spoke. Then Kaiden licked his lips,

"That was not Geth."

"Another survivor?" Ashley asked.

"So close to the landing zone? Firing a pistol?" Shepard frowned. "I think I know who it might be."

"Nihlus?" Kaiden stated airily.

"Precisely."

"He might be in trouble."

"Let's keep moving."

As they got to the brow of the hill however, all progress ground to a halt once again. As one, their gaze was dragged inexorably upwards...Shepard felt her blood run cold.

"What...what is that?" Kaiden asked, his voice wavering in amazement.

"It's a ship. Look at the size of it!" Ashley replied, almost shouting.

To call the object that clawed it's way up into the Eden Prime sky a ship was doing it a disservice. The vessel was enormous, easily the biggest she had ever seen. It was the same sinister black colour as she had seen in the transmission, strangely elegant in design, with tentacles stretching out below. It resembled a giant, evil squid as it disappeared up into the sky. Shepard licked her lips and only then realised that her mouth was bone dry.

No one spoke.

Finally, Shepard activated the communicator,  
"Let's keep moving." She forced herself to swallow.

As they pressed on, her mind was racing. What the hell was that thing? Was it Geth? Could the Geth build something like that? If they could, then the races of the galaxy were lucky the Synthetics had never gone beyond the Perseus Veil. It had to be twice the size of the largest dreadnought in the human fleet. She did not even want to think of the fire power it would have.

"Think the _Normandy_ will try to intercept it?" Kaiden asked.

Shepard couldn't help but smile at the Lieutenant, "I think Joker will want to let that one pass."

When they finally reached the port, they found it virtually abandoned, just a few Geth in the area which were quickly cleared out. As they swept across the small facility, nothing more presented itself to them. Shepard frowned at that. If this was where the beacon was supposed to be then why were there not more guards?

She was just checking behind a crate when she heard Kaiden's voice ring out in her helmet.

"Commander! I've found Nihlus!"

Shepard should have felt relieved that they had at least rendezvoused with their Spectre contact but something in Kaiden's voice told her that it was not going to be a happy reunion.

She hated being right.

Shepard approached the still form of the turian Spectre, lifeless eyes peering up at her. She tried to forget that these same eyes had been locked onto her not too long ago, challenging her, daring her to accept the mantle and burden he offered. She had accepted. Now he was dead.

Kaiden was kneeling beside him, checking for his vital signs. Ashley was pacing behind, obviously having no idea what a turian's vital signs were and how to look for them. She was watching for more of Geth, sharing Shepard's unease with the unexpectedly light resistance.

"Dead." Kaiden sighed as he stood, "Clean shot to the back of the head."

Shepard looked at him. "Execution style?"

"I would say so. It sure as hell isn't like any combat wound I've ever seen."

"Me either." Shepard knelt to look at the wound more closely. "Remember those bodies we saw on the way here?"

"Which ones? The ones on the ground or ones running around trying to stab us?" Kaiden asked. Ashley just shivered.

"The dead ones." She pointed to the wound, "that look like a Geth weapon did that?"

Kaiden blinked, "now that you come to mention it." He knelt back down beside Shepard, eyes fixed on the Spectre's head, "it's not a Geth weapon. It...looks like a pistol. Just a standard pistol."

"Wait. Are you saying someone else killed him?" Ashley seemed confused as she tried very hard not to look at the very messy remains of Nihlus.

"Looks that way. Guess we know what the pistol shot was." Kaiden confirmed as he stood. Shepard felt a little worm of guilt bury its way into her gut. They had been resting when they heard the pistol shot. If they had still been moving then they might have got here in time to save Nihlus' life...

_No..._she berated herself, _that way, madness lies._ She could not blame herself for the past. Not when she could not have really been ready for it. Hindsight was always twenty twenty as the old human saying went.

A flash of white brought her attention back as Ashley raised her rifle, pointing it towards a set of nearby crates. Shepard brought up her weapon to match while Kaiden started to glow blue.  
"Something's moving behind those crates." Ashley whispered.

Before Shepard could reply, a human stumbled out. He looked like hell, gaunt and pale with hollow, haunted eyes staring at them. He was dressed in civilian clothing  
"Wait! Don't shoot! I'm human! I'm one of you!"

"Put your hands where I can see them!" Shepard ordered. The human hovered on the spot for a minute, unsure but her voice left no room for doubt or protest. He slowly raised his shaking hands. "Do you know what happened to the turian?"

"I saw the whole thing." he nodded keenly, "there was another turian here. A big one with all this...metal coming out of him. Your friend seemed to know him. He let his guard down. The other one shot him right in the back..." he trailed off. "Saren!" he burst forth excitedly. "He called him Saren!"

_Saren..._Shepard tasted the word, running it over and over in her mind. Saren. The name was not familiar, but then she could not be expected to know every turian on a first name basis. Nihlus had known him. If he was here then it was more than likely he was a Spectre. But then why had he killed Nihlus in cold blood...?

_What the hell was going on here?_

"Do you know anything about a beacon?" She asked the worker, who looked as though he was about to faint.

The man nodded, "We were moving it over to the other platform. Its probably still there...We just set it off when the Geth arrived. Thousands of them...it was a massacre."

"How did you survive?" Shepard raised an eyebrow.

"I was...sleeping...behind these crates..." He replied uneasily, wringing his hands.

"You survived because you were lazy?" Ashley sounded mortified.

"If you hadn't, you'd be dead just like all the others." Shepard told him sternly, while the man just shook his head, "What's your name."

"Powell."

"Powell?" Shepard frowned, "we met a bunch of farmers nearby. They mentioned having a smuggling contact at the docks by the name of Powell."

"W-what?" Powell's eyes widening in horror was all the confirmation she needed, "n-no...I..." His resistance drained away with a single look from the Commander, "okay...look...sometimes we skimmed a little bit off the military orders coming in. A couple of pistols, a few grenades, that sort of thing. We never thought they would need it! I mean...who'd attack us? We're just a bunch of farmers..."

"You what?" If Shepard thought Ashley had sounded mortified before then it was nothing compared to now. It was a raw anger, the pink-clad soldier shaking in barely contained fury, "we _fought_ for you bastards! We _tried_to save your miserable little fucking lives and the whole time you were ripping us off?!" She took a step forwards.

"Chief!" Shepard barked the word and it seemed to snap her from her rage. The soldier took a step back again but if looks could kill, Shepard was sure Powell would have been nothing more than goo on the back wall. She turned to the man and she fought to keep the disgust from her voice. "a lot of Marines died here today Powell. Those supplies you took could have helped."

"I know...I know..." He cringed under the glare from Ashley.

"I would suggest you try making it up to them."

"I will...here! I saved this here from the stash. I was going to try and sell it...but you need it more than I do." He handed over a grenade mod. "Take it! I want nothing more to do with this."

"Alright Powell. Get out of sight and stay there." Shepard nodded as she handed the mod over to Kaiden who examined it closely. The smuggler nodded and half walked, half staggered back behind the crates.

"Well?" She looked at the Lieutenant.

"It's a pretty good mod, designed to increase the yield of explosives. It should only take a moment to integrate."

"That asshole. We could have used that..." Ashley's voice was trembling.

"Chief, you said you wanted payback for your unit. The best way to do that is to secure the beacon, do you understand?" Shepard turned to the woman who reluctantly nodded.

"Aye aye ma'am."

"Good, let's move out!" Shepard lifted her rifle and moved forward again.

"Are you sure that last bomb's deactivated Lieutenant?"

"I threw the trigger away ma'am. If it blows, it'll not be on a timer."

"Alright, the beacon shouldn't be far" Shepard breathed a deep sigh of relief and wiped a bead of sweat from her brow. She had been expecting a surprise when she reached the other platform. She was not expecting the surprise to come in the form of three very large bombs planted around the area which, according to Kaiden, had the combined power to wipe away this entire half of the Eden Prime settlement. Fighting forward with a fresh determination, they had managed to reach each in turn and deactivate it, all while under fire from their Geth protectors. Between them, Ashley and Shepard had managed to hold off the waves until Kaiden could guarantee that each bomb was no longer a threat.

A quick hop over the platform and, finally, their target loomed into view. The first thing she laid eyes on was the beacon, a tall slender thing with an elegance which belied its age. The second thing she laid eyes on were the Geth in front of it. Three of them. They turned to face the attackers, bringing their weapons up as they spun. One was shredded by fire from Ashley's Lancer. One exploded in a shower of sparks as Kaiden blew the circuits with a quick flick of his omnitool and the third one rather ignobly flew over the guard rail to plummet down the hill and into the lake over which the port sat, courtesy of Shepard's glowing arm. A quick sweep confirmed that they had been the final Geth between them and their target. They finally had the beacon.

Shepard wasted no time, bringing a hand up to her helmet to switch the channels.  
"_Normandy_, this is ground team. Beacon is secure, requesting a pick up at our co-ordinates..." Her voice trailed away as Kaiden stepped up to the beacon.

"Wow...this is incredible...actual working Prothean technology..." he was staring transfixed as it seemed to glow with an eerie green light.

"It...uh...wasn't doing anything like that when they dug it up." Ashley informed him, watching the Lieutenant uneasily as he moved closer for a look. Ashley had her weapon in her hands still, checking for signs of any Geth stragglers on their way back to surprise them. She turned to watch the rooftop. Geth infiltrators could very easily have slipped up while they weren't looking.

"Something must have activated it..." Kaiden murmured softly, almost to himself as he leant in closer for a look. Suddenly, a burst of green light caught the human and slowly began to pull him closer, despite Kaiden's struggles, as if he was caught in a rip tide.

"Lieutenant!" Ashley had turned to notice Kaiden's plight and she took a step forward, her thoughts only on helping the stricken Officer. Before her boot had even touched the ground, a black blur shot past her. Shepard reached up and pulled the Lieutenant out of the way, swapping his body with her own. As Kaiden shakily rose from the deck however, he saw that Shepard was not dealing with that magnetic force any better than he had. He went to help but stopped dead as Shepard was lifted straight up into the air, arms outstretched.

"What..." Ashley looked on, dumbstruck. Shepard was twitching, her form flicking and lashing as if in a spasm. The pair of Marines looked on, helplessly, until Shepard was thrown back by a burst of fierce green light. The beacon seemed to erupt, like a grenade, throwing debris across the landing platform, striking off the shields of the two soldiers.

Shepard lay on her side nearby.

She wasn't moving.

"Shepard!" Kaiden rushed forward and cradled her head. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her teeth clenched but she was breathing. The Sentinel quickly went to his communicator,  
"Ground team to _Normandy!_ Ground team to _Normandy!_ This is a medical emergency! Request immediate evac at our position now!"

Helpless to do anything but wait, Kaiden held her head in his arms, mumbling softly to her, trying to comfort his commanding officer as the eerie green light slowly dissipated from the ruins of the beacon.


	8. Chapter 8

The first thought that ran through Shepard's head was pain.

She could remember it...the green light surrounding her, engulfing her, blinding her. She tried to pull away from it, tried to escape but it would not let go. It was pulling her ever closer to the trap, like a cat toying with its prey. Like the prey she was helpless. Everything exploded into pain, a burning agonising pain for which she had no comparison, no comprehension. It felt like her body was aflame, not just her skin but every single nerve. She could not breath. She could not think. There was a blinding flash. Then darkness.

"Commander? Commander?" She could hear a voice; distant and tinny, like she was trying to understand while under water. She focused on that voice. She tried to concentrate, tried to force herself to listen.

"Can you hear me?" It was a man's voice, stronger, more distinguished, as if he was getting closer. Encouraged by her progress, she tried to nod but her body stubbornly refused, finally acquiescing with a single twitch.

"Commander!" The voice burst forth with enthusiasm, "Doctor Chakwas, she's waking up!"

_Am I?_ Shepard thought drowsily. Her world was dark. Everything hurt; a dull and throbbing pain, like she had stretched and pulled every single muscle in her body. Even breathing was painful, her deep and laboured breaths coming slowly in a forlorn attempt to deaden the unpleasant sensation. Slowly, gathering up all her will, she tried to force her eyes open. The first crack of light sent a red hot arrow through her head and her eyes quickly snapped shut again.

"Commander Shepard." It was a different voice this time; a calm and even female voice, speaking to her slowly. She was grateful for the effort, it made understanding her much easier, "Commander, can you open your eyes for me again?"

_I can try._ She wanted to say but again, she could not force out the words. In fact, all she got for her efforts was a low exhale, which came out as a groan. She tried again to open her eyes. This time it was much easier, the crack of light didn't attack her like a bolt of lightning and, slowly, she was able to draw them open.

She could hear the beeping of machines off to her right while she was staring up at a grey and featureless ceiling livened up only by a line of rivets which ran horizontally above. Before she could take in any more details, she heard the same voice again.

"Commander, I want you to focus on the light."

_What li-_ Shepard's internal musings were cut off as a soft light suddenly appeared to the top right of her vision. She looked up at it, the rest of the room falling away to a blur. The light began to move slowly; down to her right, then to her left then up again. Her eyes trailed it the entire way.

"Very good Commander." The voice sounded pleased. Shepard got a childish sense of satisfaction at the praise, for following the light so well, "heart rate is down to 70bpm, blood pressure is 122 over 80. Left and right are both _PERRL. How do you feel Commander?"_

It took a moment to work out that the voice was addressing her directly. Shepard took a deep breath,

_"__Like shit."_

_It was only when she spoke that her own voice sounded hollow. She noticed she was breathing into some sort of mouth piece, which hissed every time she took a breath._

_The voice chuckled. It was a nice noise, she decided.  
"I have no doubt. You gave us quite a scare Commander."_

_She felt someone poke her in the arm. Another sharp, stabbing pain ran through her._

_"__Ow." She whimpered rather pathetically._

_"__Hmm...still tender."_

_"__Where am I?" She mumbled into the device._

_"You're back on the __Normandy, __in the Medical Bay."_

_No kidding._

_"__Can I take this off?" She pointed at her mouth but the action was slow and clumsy._

_"__You can Commander but only for a moment. If you start feeling breathless, I want you to put it back on. Do you understand?"_

She nodded. A hand reached over and slowly pulled the device away. Shepard sucked in a gulp of free air, only to realise that it was much heavier and damper than she would have liked. She choked on it.

_The mask appeared again._

"No." She rasped, batting it away, tears appearing unbidden from her eyes, chest heaving.

_This is not going to beat me._

_Her mouth was bone dry. It hurt to swallow but she forced herself to calm down and breathe deeply. This wasn't her first serious injury._

_"Well done Commander." She recognised the voice now as that of Doctor Chakwas, the medical officer aboard the__ Normandy__. She sounded impressed._

_"__Can I sit up?" Shepard asked. She was getting bored of looking at the ceiling already._

_"__Certainly." Two pairs of strong hands took her on either side, supporting her as she pushed herself up into a sitting position. She winced at the pain that shot through her back, through her shoulders, her abdomen...everything really._

_One pair of hands belonged to Chakwas, the regal and elegant doctor fixed entirely on her task, grey hair pulled back out of the way, while the other pair belonged to Kaidan. He was staring very obviously at her but averted his gaze once he saw Shepard was looking, his brows were creased in concern, his cheeks pale._

_"__Is that better Commander?" Chakwas asked tenderly._

_"Much. Thank you." Shepard settled back against the pillows. The throbbing was still there but not as harsh as it had been. "I could use a drink." She croaked._

"I'll get it!" Kaidan volunteered enthusiastically, turning and striding from the room as if he were on a mission given by the Prime Minister herself. Shepard watched him go, the door hissing shut behind him.

_"__He's barely left your side, you know." Shepard turned to see Chakwas was regarding her with those cool, blue eyes._

_"Really?"_

"I think he feels terrible about what happened on Eden Prime."

_Eden Prime. Shepard suddenly remembered and sat up in the bed, a move that made her grimace involuntarily._

_"__The beacon!"_

"It was destroyed Commander, after you interacted with it." Chakwas placed a patient hand on her chest to guide her back down, "however you did save the colony. They are quite pleased."

_Shepard closed her eyes and groaned, that feeling of defeat welling up inside her. She had failed. Her job had been to secure the beacon and she had ended up destroying it. Worse than that, Nihlus had been killed. They would never let her into the Spectres now. She was surprised to find that the thought disappointed her._

_"__It was my fault Commander." Shepard swivelled her head to see Kaidan return, the Sentinel holding a cup of water in his hand, which he gave to the Commander. She gulped it down greedily, uncaring that it dribbled down her front and over the bed. It hurt to swallow, but the plain, ordinary water was like the elixir of life, "I got too close to the beacon. You had pull me away from it." He looked away, ashamed._

_"__You couldn't have known what was going to happen." Shepard waved away his apology, "Neither did I, for that matter. Sorry I took your bed." She petted the side of her mattress._

_Kaidan smiled weakly._

_"__While you were unconscious I noticed an increase in your rapid eye movement, a sign usually associated with dreaming." Chakwas' voice was smooth but Shepard picked up on the unspoken question._

_"__I..." She tried to think back. Back to what she had seen. There were images; disjointed and broken. They had made no sense, like pictures of someone else's life shown out of order. She had seen planets burning, cities collapsing, people dying. There were machines...like nothing she had seen before. Then there was that ship right at the end, launching itself at her as if to attack. "I don't know what I saw...death, destruction...it makes no sense."_

"Hmm..." Chakwas frowned. "I think I will mention this in my report. There's too many unknowns with Prothean tech-" the door hissed open, cutting the doctor off in mid speech, "-oh. Captain."

"Sir." Kaidan saluted. Shepard did not bother.

_"How's our XO holding up Doc?" She heard that rich English voice before Anderson came into view. He looked as though he had aged a year in just two days._

_"__She's sore but it should fade in time. Her vitals look okay. I would say the Commander is going to be fine." Chakwas' own accent had gotten notably stronger when she addressed Anderson._

_"__Can I talk with her?"_

"Not for long Sir, she still needs rest."

"I am still awake you know." Shepard murmured petulantly.

_Both of them ignored her. Only Kaidan looked in her direction._

_"__I need to speak in private."_

"Sir!" Kaidan saluted again and, with one more glance at Shepard exited the medical bay.

_"__I'll be in my Office if you need me Shepard and remember; any sign of breathlessness, you put the mask back on."_

"Yes mom."

_Chakwas flashed an affectionate smile before she headed through a door opposite to one Kaidan had left by._

_For a while, there was only the noise of the beeping machinery between them. Shepard spent the time gazing at the opposite wall; as lifeless and grey as the ceiling had been. She got the sense that Anderson was trying to phrase his words, get his emotions in order before he spoke and she was content to wait. She felt more reassured by his presence, even if it did bring back painful memories._

_The same seemed to have occurred to Anderson,_

_"__Well, here we are again."_

"Yes Sir." She replied.

_The seconds dragged on._

_"__I hear things were pretty rough down there. How are you feeling?"_

Shepard ran through the mission. Finding Nihlus. Finding Ashley. Finding the smuggler. Losing Jenkins.

"Jenkins." She sighed, closing her eyes.

_"__Yes I heard." Another silence. "It wasn't your fault, Lauren. You did a difficult job under impossible circumstances. That you got anyone back at all is a miracle."_

_The familiar pangs of guilt began to gnaw away at her gut, the face of the young Marine refusing to leave her mind's eye. Anderson was right, of course, but Jenkins had trusted her with his life and she had let him down. It hurt. It hurt a lot. She did not reply. Instead she focused on what had killed him._

_"__There were Geth on Eden Prime Captain." She began, the squirming guilt giving way to a hotter anger, "How? How the hell did they get so far into human space without being detected by anyone?"_

"I don't know Shepard. I don't even know how they heard about the beacon." Anderson could sense her anger but he also knew that he had no way of calming it, not with the information at his disposal, "Intel dropped the ball. Big time. Heads are going to roll Shepard. I can assure you of that."

"Firing a Sensor Officer isn't going to be a lot of comfort for Jenkins." She snorted.

_"__I've been there Shepard. I can empathise but you do Jenkins no credit by getting angry. Save that for the Geth." Anderson had not yet raised his voice but there a cool edge to it that she could not fail to pick up. Shepard's anger was washed away in seconds by a deluge of shame. How long had Anderson been a soldier? How many friends had he lost? It wasn't fair to take her anger out on him. Not like this._

_She thought of the casualties. She thought of the marines that lay dead on the field of battle and immediately, she thought of Ashley.  
"Sir...what about Chief Williams? Did we leave her on Eden Prime?" her voice was civil once more, devoid of anger. She was trying very hard to get off a touchy subject._

_Anderson seemed grateful for the change of tack,  
"She comes with a high recommendation from Lieutenant Alenko, so I've had her transferred to the __Normandy__."_

_"__Good." Shepard nodded, relieved that at least something hadn't gone entirely wrong, "She did well down there Captain. We couldn't have made it without her."_

"Praise from a Star of Terra winner? That's the sort of Marine I want aboard my ship."

_Shepard smiled at the joke. She didn't think her body would cope with laughing just yet.  
"So...what happens now?" She looked at him, suddenly feeling a fluttering in her stomach She knew this was why Anderson had come to see her. This was what it was all about._

_"__I won't lie Shepard." Anderson grimaced. "Things look bad. The beacon is destroyed, the Geth are on the rampage and Nihlus is dead. I won't call it a disaster but," He hesitated, "it's the next best thing."_

"I didn't do anything wrong Sir." Shepard protested, suddenly fearing for so much more than her Spectre candidacy. If the Council kicked up enough fuss about the issue, if there was enough of an uproar from the intergalactic community then she, as the commanding officer of the team, would be in a prime position to take the fall on the part of the Alliance. Already, she could feel the axe hovering above her.

_Anderson shook his head, "I stand by your report Commander. You're a hero in my eyes. Not just mine but the people of Eden Prime."_

"Report?" Shepard raised an eyebrow, "Sir, I've been unconscious since I got back to the ship. What report?"

"The report you co-wrote with Lieutenant Alenko and Chief Williams." There was a mischievous flash in Anderson's eye.

_"__Oh...oh!" It dawned on Shepard. "Yes Sir."_

"Good. It was the report I wanted to mention."

_"I take no responsibility for spelling mistakes." Shepard smiled at him._

_Anderson did not return it. Shepard felt her own grin ebb away and a look of concern replace it._

_"__Sir?"_

_"__In your report, you mention a turian named Saren. You claim that a dock worker told you that he killed Nihlus in cold blood and was leading the Geth."_

"Yes Sir?" Shepard was looking at him, suddenly uncomfortable with the torrent of anger she could see behind those eyes, "do you know who he was talking about?"

"I do. Saren Arterius. A Spectre." Shepard inhaled. "Not just a Spectre, but the_ Spectre. The best of the best. A paragon for the Council and a hero to the turians. He hates humanity, hates how we do things, hates how we behave. It's him. It has to be."_

_Shepard stared at him. She wondered when the punchline was coming but it was clear this was no joke.  
"Why would he attack Eden Prime? Are the Council behind this?"_

"I wouldn't think so Shepard. They're not in the habit of letting their top agents kill one another. No. Saren is acting alone and if he's alone then he's gone rogue. Shepard, a rogue Spectre with an army of Geth and a hatred for humanity is a _very__ bad thing. He was after the beacon. He must have been looking for something stored inside. You interacted with it. What did you see?"_

_Shepard tried to think back, tried to ignore Anderson's pessimistic view of the situation, tried to recall her dreams, although her subconscious screamed for her to stop,  
"I saw..." She fixed on the images, "...I saw a vision...I saw people dying...worlds collapsing...cities burning and...and Saren's ship. Whatever it was."_

_Anderson frowned, "We need to tell the Council about this."_

Shepard snorted, "and what are we going to tell them? I had a bad dream? Anderson," she hesitated, "I don't even know what these visions are. I don't know what they mean." Her shoulders sagged at the revelation.

_"__Shepard, even setting aside the visions, Saren has still attacked a human colony. Right now, he can hide behind his Spectre status, it makes him untouchable. We need to see the Council and get his status revoked. Then we can bring him to justice for what happened on Eden Prime."_

"We prove Saren's gone rogue and we get his status revoked." Shepard nodded, a fresh determination filling her voice, but it tailed off into a wheezing cough.

_Anderson shook his head,_

_"__We're still a day out from the Citadel Commander. Get some rest. We'll need you fit for what's coming up."_

_"__Sir." She nodded and slipped the mask back on. As the fresh, revitalising air filled her lungs, it suddenly struck her just how tired she was. Slowly, she felt herself drifting away, fighting it against it the entire time. She knew that her dreams would be haunted by Jenkins, by Geth, by Saren and Nihlus. They would be interspersed by the horrific sights of death, destruction, the end of all things and that black ship that would not relent._


	9. Chapter 9

"For the last time Shepard, _no._"

"but why not?" Shepard watched at the increasingly frustrated Chakwas as she paced up and down the medical bay; checking machinery and reading reports. The red headed Officer was sitting up in the bed, with her knees drawn up to her chest, arms wrapped around them, dressed only in a pair of shorts and a grey t-shirt, sapphire eyes never once leaving the bustling Doctor.

"Because when I say patients need bed rest, what I tend to mean is that they rest in a _bed_. I do not mean they should get up and resume their normal routines."

"But you said I was fine."

"I said you _were_ going to be fine. Not you _are_ fine. You will be fine if you follow my instructions."

"Lie still?" Shepard raised an eyebrow, "it's not exactly open heart surgery."

"Oh, you Marines will be the death of me." Chakwas sighed, "just get back into bed."

"I'm on the bed."

"That is not bed rest."

"but I am resting _on_ a bed. You didn't specify I had to be _in_ the bed." Shepard retaliated with a cheeky grin.

"Are you arguing semantics with me, young lady?" Chakwas looked stern but her eyes flashed with mirth.

"Young lady?" Shepard was taken aback, "I'm not six."

"You could have fooled me Commander." Chakwas picked up another report and scanned it quickly before she looked back at her patient, "I'm not arguing about this."

"I know." Shepard nodded in agreement, "I am though."

"We will be at the Citadel in nine hours. I want you in bed until then." Chakwas put aside the first report and started on the one underneath it, brow furrowing in concentration, "once we're docked, you can do as you wish."

There was a moment of silence and, for one glorious moment, Chakwas thought that she might have won the day.

Alas, it was not to be.

"Hey Doctor," Shepard was still looking at her, "does medi-gel cure terminal boredom?"

Chakwas glanced over the edge of the report at the woman, whose eyes were filled with the sort of doe-eyed innocence normally reserved for puppies, "try sleeping."

"I did sleep though. Now I'm full of energy."

"Believe me, I've noticed." Chakwas went back to the report and shook her head, murmuring softly to herself, "Corporal Lacey-"

"Jack Lacey?" Shepard was suddenly craning her neck, interested in the report, "What has Lumber Jack done?"

"None of your business." Chakwas positioned the report in such a way that Shepard could not see it. It reminded her very much of trying to keep a toy out of the grasp of a reaching child. "and you should not refer to crewmen by their nicknames. You're supposed to be their commanding Officer."

"I'm not on duty. I can call them what I like." Shepard sniffed indignantly.

"Oh-" Chakwas was interrupted as the door hissed open to admit Ashley Williams. The Marine Chief was wearing the black and blue casual uniform of the Alliance Navy, her hair tied up in a bun, looking rather awkward. She looked better than she had on Eden Prime, though not by much. She approached Shepard's bed and snapped off a salute, as precise and as accurate as any drill sergeant could have performed.

"Commander!"

"Chief Williams." Shepard blinked, looking up at her, "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Yes well, the rest of the crew seems to have dropped by, wouldn't want to seem anti-social." Williams was now playing with the buttons in her uniform, a nervous fidgeting to try and spend the nervous energy she had built up.

The medical bay certainly had been much busier than usual and Chakwas did not dispute that Ashley was correct. The entire crew seemed to have passed through at some point or another, spending ten minutes or so at the start or end of their shifts, wondering if the commander was okay, when she was going to be back, vowing to back her up over Eden Prime and, of course, trying to comfort her over Jenkins death. Shepard smiled and laughed, told jokes and convinced the crew that their XO was fine, leaving them with grins on their faces. They didn't see that when the door hissed shut, the smile dropped and Shepard went back to staring at the wall, as if she could see through it into space itself. She hadn't told anyone else about the dreams and the doctor knew that all the assurances and comfort in the world could not make her feel any better about Jenkins' death.

"Well, I'm happy to see you." Shepard did seem genuinely pleased and invited Ashley to sit on the opposite bed with a nod of her head. The Chief did so with great reluctance, as if every military fibre in her body was begging her to remain at attention.

"So..." There was an awkward silence, "how are you feeling?"

"Fine thanks, in fact, I'm doing so well that I have to lie still and do nothing for nine hours."

"Um..." Williams blinked, taken aback by the reply and looked over Shepard's shoulder at Chakwas. Chakwas just rolled her eyes and went back to her report. "that's...good?"

"Not really," Shepard shrugged, "once you know there's a hundred and fifty four rivets in the bulkhead over there, you kinda run out of things to do."

"Okay." There was another long silence. It stretched on for so long that Chakwas glanced up from her report to see if Williams had gone.

"So how are you feeling?"

"Commander?" Williams sounded surprised. Chakwas saw that it was Shepard who had asked the question, the smile gone, those penetrating eyes fixed on her fellow Marine.

"Eden Prime was rough. How are you feeling?"

"Well..." She hesitated, "I'm used to friends dying. It comes with being a Marine. But my whole unit...and all those civilians...the beacon destroyed. It just feels like they died for nothing." her shoulders slumped.

"Ashley, without you and your unit, there wouldn't be an Eden Prime any more. Your unit gave their lives to buy the Civilians time; time to flee and time to regroup. There are families on Eden Prime; children who owe their existence to you and the others. If there is any nobler a cause to do die for Ashley, I haven't found it." Shepard's eyes never left those of the Marine and Chakwas saw the other react. She seemed to sit up a bit taller, her shoulders straightened and there was a fresh fire ignited behind her eyes. It was the burning fire of pride.

'How does she do it?' Chakwas wondered.

"I never thought of it like that Commander. Thanks." There was another pause, but this one felt less awkward. "I'm sorry about Jenkins. From what I hear he was a good man."

"Yeah, he was. He'll be missed." Chakwas shook her head at the exchange. Generic condolences and a generic reply. Both Marines knew that Jenkins' loss could not be expressed with just a few words.

"Part of me feels guilty for being here. It's like I'm replacing him-"

"You're here because you deserve to be, Ashley." Shepard cut across her, forcing the other to look into her eyes, "without you, we would never have reached the beacon. You're a damned good soldier Ash. Don't ever forget that."

"Thanks Commander." Now it was Williams who sounded pleased and Chakwas felt a smile tugging at her lips. "That means a lot coming from a Star of Terra winner."

Shepard gave a lopsided smile, "I just did a job Ash. There's nothing special about that."

"Uh..." Williams snorted in disbelief, "you held off an entire enemy platoon. Alone. You saved a colony. It sounds pretty special to me." she checked her watch, "oh, I really need to go. My shift started two minutes ago."

"That's fine. You go on." Shepard smiled again, "thanks for dropping by Ash. I appreciate it."

"Thank you Commander. It was nice to speak with you." Williams gave one final salute before she turned on her heel and marched through the door.

Once she had gone, silence fell over the Medical Bay one more time. Chakwas sensed that Shepard was thinking over their conversation, a suspicion confirmed when she glanced up to see Shepard still staring at the door, still in the same huddled pose as before. Chakwas couldn't place it, but there was something endearingly vulnerable about the way she sat; ironic really, because she knew from experience that there was a core of steel under that skin.

"That was a nice thing you did Shepard." Chakwas finally broke the silence.

"Doctor?" Shepard snapped out of her reverie and turned to look at her

"Chief Williams has been quite upset about Eden Prime ever since she came aboard. You've given her a positive to take from a terrible event."

Shepard fixed her with that same sweet smile and Chakwas felt her heart swell. When she smiled, the Commander was quite beautiful but there was something sad about the smile, and when Chakwas saw the scar that ran across her face, she knew what it was. It was a natural beauty that had been tarnished by the evil of the galaxy, a purity forever tainted by the hatred and coldness that seemed to dominate the mortal soul, regardless of species. When she smiled though, Chakwas saw that same light shining through, that Shepard was saying to the galaxy, you have not beaten me.

"I just told the truth Doctor. And she knows it. All she needed was someone to tell her."

There was another stretch of silence.

"So..." Shepard spoke first, licking her lips, "is it Lumber Jack's snoring? He goes like a rusty chainsaw when he sleeps."

"Oh grow up, Shepard."

"Never."


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: Hey everyone, decided to write an author's note to thank all the readers who have had the patience to keep up with this story so far despite the sporadic gaps between updates. Just wanted to say how much I appreciate all the feedback I get and more is always welcome._

_Bearing that in mind, I have a question. Do people think that it would be better if I named my chapters or just kept them as numbers from 1 to X? Quite indecisive about this sort of thing so any helpful shoves would be much appreciated!_

"Citadel Control, Citadel Control. This is the SSV _Normandy_ requesting a vector and a berth." Joker spoke clearly and concisely as he glided the Frigate through the small tunnel of space cleared specifically for military traffic. It was a token attempt to ease the passage of approaching ships on important business without the risk of crashing into the thousands of freighters, liners, haulers and warships that made their way through the Serpent Nebula towards the capital of galactic civilisation; the Citadel.

Right now the great space station was clouded from view, hiding behind the swirling purple concentration of gasses which filled the nebula like a great fog. Indeed, the only evidence that it was there at all were the fleet's worth of ships surrounding them and the navigation equipment that was guiding them in.

"SSV _Normandy_, this is Citadel Control we have you logged. Please maintain vector and we will transfer you to an Alliance Operator." The voice was gravelly and deep, that like that of a turian's. Joker raised an eyebrow,

"Huh, that's a turn up for the books."

"What is?" Kaidan was sitting in the seat to his right, running through some final diagnostics before they docked.

"We're actually landing. I thought their only response was _'please enter waiting vector and lock channel open'_. That's Citadel code for; we're full right now, please piddle about in circles until we can kick a ship out of the way."

"Well, we're not exactly here on routine business."

"That's true. Hey! Do you think we could keep this sort of VIP status? How long is Shepard going to be in the medical bay for once we dock?"

"Minus two minutes." Kaidan and Joker whipped around as that familiar voice echoed in the cramped cockpit. Standing there, resplendent in the military uniform of the Alliance Navy, sleeves rolled up, arms folded over her chest and a broad grin on her face, was Commander Shepard herself.

"Hey Commander," Joker exclaimed as she slipped into the seat opposite Kaidan's, "damn. There go our parking privileges."

"Don't you know it's rude to talk about a lady behind her back?" Shepard's focus was fixed straight ahead, but Joker could tell she was peaking across at him.

The pilot snorted, "When I see a lady, I'll bear that in mind."

"I don't think strippers count as ladies." Shepard retaliated and Joker burst out with a snigger.

"So Commander, how are you feeling?" Kaidan was looking across at her, concerned.

"Fine. The Doctor's kicked me out so I must have done something right." Shepard brought up a panel in front of her, "we on an approach vector?"

"Yup, we'll be hitting the docks in five minutes." Joker went back to his instruments for a quick glance to ensure everything was still fine, "You ever been to the Citadel Commander?"

"First time." Shepard replied.

"Aw you'll love it Commander. It's full of people. Lots of people. Some don't even want to rob you!"

"It's not as bad as that. You will like it Shepard. There's some quite beautiful views." Kaidan retorted.

"Did I mention the bars? And the Nightclubs?" Joker grinned.

Shepard chuckled, shook her head and went back to her own readouts. After just a few moments, she felt her gaze being pulled out towards the cockpit window, out towards that churning purple matter. Any second now, it was going to clear…

The mist, seemingly obeying her command, melted away from the cockpit window to finally give her an unobstructed view of the Citadel. Shepard felt her breath taken away.

There it was; the great space station known as the Citadel. It was like a great circular ring, surrounded by five great curved arms that reached out, a silver cylindrical shape, as elegant as it was beautiful. When the light from the star behind caught it, the entire thing seemed to gleam like a piece of polished silver. Shepard could only gape in wonder.

"Well, what do you think?" Kaidan asked. He had not turned around to look.

"It's amazing." Shepard exhaled.

"It's the seat of the Citadel Council, the capital of Council Space, headquarters of the Citadel fleet and the epicentre of politics, trade and culture in the galaxy." The Lieutenant spoke cleanly, as if from memory.

Joker looked around with an eyebrow raised. Kaidan looked at him, confused.

"What?"

"Sorry," the pilot sniggered, "I thought you'd started a tourist commercial there."

"Oh leave him alone." Shepard did not turn around. They were passing through the barrier formed by the Citadel Defence Fleet. Most of the ships that drifted lazily by turian; curvy and swept back like the feathers of a bird as opposed to the blocky and rather square ships of the Alliance fleet. She also recognised a few others that were Salarian and Asari, including one massive ship that sat amongst the fleet like a giant amongst men. It was enormous; she could not even begin to imagine the dimensions. Compared to it, the turian cruisers looked just like toys. A great concave vessel with a hollow centre, built around four slender arms arranged like a cross.

"The _Ascension_." Kaidan answered the question that had been on the tip of her tongue, "Flagship of the Citadel fleet."

"Look at the size of it, it's huge." Shepard murmured.

"That's what she said." Joker mumbled in reply.

"Look at that main gun." She went on as though he hadn't spoken, "It could shred any ship in the Alliance fleet." She was thinking of the dreadnoughts that the humans possessed, how powerful she had thought they were. It certainly served as a good reminder that while humans had come a long way very quickly, they were still an age away from challenging the big guns.

Literally.

"Commander Shepard, Lieutenant Alenko." Shepard finally tore her gaze away from the wonders confronting her as she heard that familiar English tone. Anderson stood in the cockpit, both Joker and Kaiden suddenly very interested in their instruments, "Get suited up. We're going ashore to meet with Ambassador Udina."

"Aye Sir." They both replied. Without another word, Anderson turned and strode away.

"Yeah I'm fine Sir, thanks for asking." Joker peered around his chair, although he made sure Anderson was out of earshot before he spoke.

"What do you think the Ambassador wants?" Kaidan asked across at Shepard. She could tell he was suddenly nervous.

"I doubt he wants to congratulate me for a job well done." She could only reply with a biting, bitter sarcasm. Kaidan didn't deserve it but she hand to find some way to hide her own nerves. A meeting with Ambassador Udina was a very big deal and she was fairly confident that he would not have much positive to say to her. That former thought of her taking the fall for Eden Prime resurfaced. She suddenly felt butterflies.

"Nah, it's probably just for coffee, biscuits, one of the Councils top agents going rogue. You know, standard stuff." Joker spoke airily while guiding the _Normandy_ever closer to the Citadel. He seemed completely unaware of the nervous atmosphere in the cockpit.

"We had better get ready." Kaidan motioned towards the rear of the ship. Shepard returned the gesture with a nod, relieved just to be moving.

As they left Joker behind, their footsteps in sync with one another, Shepard could feel Kaidan glancing sidelong at her. Even between the two of them, the nervous anticipation only got worse.

"Shepard, I just wanted to say, I'll take full responsibility for what happened to the beacon," the Lieutenant suddenly burst forth, catching her a bit off guard, "It was my fault it was destroyed. If the Ambassador says anything, I'll take the rap."

"That's...sweet Kaidan, I appreciate the thought," Shepard spoke slowly, trying to regather her thoughts, "but if Udina does try to lay this on us...on me, then we need a united front. Neither of us speaks. Let Anderson do the talking."

"But..."

"He believes us Kaidan. He'll fight tooth and nail and you'd better believe that the Ambassador will put more weight in his words than ours."

"I guess so."

"I know so." Shepard nodded as they stepped into the elevator; displaying a confidence she did not quite feel. Anderson had a lot of weight in the Alliance, but Ambassador Udina was one of the most powerful men in the entire human race. Did she really believe that Anderson alone could protect her from powers far beyond her own?

As the elevator began it's slow crawl into the bowels of the ship, she was disconcerted to find she had no answer to that question.


	11. Chapter 11

_AN: Alright, following feedback, plus thinking of all the effort it would take, I decided not to bother naming the chapters (numbers do fine I think). Massive thanks for the feedback, I'd been tearing my hair out for weeks over that. :)_

If Shepard had thought that the Citadel looked imposing on approach then it was nothing compared to when they actually docked. They were guided to the Alliance Docking Area, a section of the arms specifically for Alliance military traffic. They were the only ship there at the time and, as soon as they had passed through the dock, they found themselves swamped. The Citadel was unlike anything she had ever seen before, towering buildings stretching up so high that even when she craned her neck she could barely see their tops and when she looked down into the darkness she could hardly see the ground, thronging aliens and long lines of hover cars passing in neatly ordered rows.

It was one of these cars that they got into; she was accompanied by Captain Anderson, Kaidan and Ashley as they zoomed over the ward and towards the Presidium, the great ring that formed the centre of the Citadel, the true hub of galactic politics and society. It was the home of the Citadel Council, the beings who dictated policy for a full two thirds of the galaxy's sentient beings and of the embassies, every species considered powerful enough to have a say on those policies. It was here that they were heading, to the embassy of the Human Alliance, for a meeting with the Ambassador himself.

The journey to the embassy was completed in silence. Ashley had never been to the Citadel either so she and Shepard were like a pair of gawping children, taken in by everything they saw. In comparison, Kaidan and Anderson sat in sombre, if respectful silence. The only words passing amongst the crew being; 'did you see that?' or 'what was that thing?' as they wound their way around the buildings with the swirling rainbow of gases that formed the nebula above them as a background.

In comparison to the dark and noisy Wards, the Presidium seemed a much quieter and more sedate location. An artificially blue sky was dotted with a few specially placed clouds that reflected down on the great lakes. To either side of the lakes were long, pearl-white buildings and walkways dashed with green lawns and quite opulent beds of colourful flowers, curvy and appealing to the eye.

The Human Embassy was nestled between that of the turians and that of the elcor and volus. The entrance was protected by a pair of human Marines, who snapped to attention as the party passed through, while there were more inside. In comparison to the rest of the Citadel, which was a rainbow mix of aliens from all over Citadel Space and beyond, the Embassy contained almost exclusively humans, strange in itself after the metropolitan mix beyond. Anderson approached the front desk, bypassing the queue without so much as a word to those waiting. Some tutted, others sighed or muttered but most seemed to appreciate the gravitas of the Officer and stayed quiet. The Receptionist, a young, pale blonde, looked up as he approached and smiled in welcome.

"Captain Anderson. Ambassador Udina will see you straight away." She spoke before Anderson had even managed to open his mouth, nodding to the stairs positioned to the right of their desk. Shepard watched as the Captain nodded his thanks and headed straight for the stairs, receiving yet more salutes from guards as he went. Like a group of puppies, the trio followed. They had left their armour on the ship, choosing instead to wear their casual uniforms. Their only arms were the pistols at their sides. Shepard felt the nerves building as they climbed up towards the Ambassador's Office. This was it.

The door opened as they approached, a sign that the Dignitary was expecting them. His room was the largest they had seen yet, with room for a table and chairs at one end, a suite of furniture at the other clustered around a blank screen and an expansive oak desk in the middle, again with room for three chairs in front of it. Along with the bookcases, filled with human and alien literature and a quite extensive complex of files. It was well lit, thanks in part to the expansive bay windows behind his desk which led out onto a balcony laced with more flowerbeds and thin green vines. The balcony, indeed the windows, offered a panoramic view of the entire Presidium, soothing to the point that Shepard could have just sat and watched for hours.

At least she could have, if not for the man who rose from the desk.

"Ambassador Udina." Anderson offered a bow of his head in greeting as he approached the desk. Shepard, feeling distinctly out of place, fell into the old routines and took up position on his shoulder; his second and protection. She felt, more than saw, Ashley and Kaidan take up further positions on her shoulders. She almost felt like a guard detail.

"Captain Anderson." the Ambassador's voice was low and harsh. He was the smallest in the room, even more than Ashley while he gave the distinct impression of a man who had never thrown nor taken a punch in his life. He was thin and balding, his face withered with age and stress but it was his eyes that Shepard took most note of. They were sharp and alert, running over each of them in turn, always aware of their surroundings. Shepard didn't like him. He seemed to emanate a sense of untrustworthiness and deceit.

"I see you've brought half your crew with you." He sneered. Shepard stiffened to attention and resisted the urge to glower at him. It had not been a joke.

"Just the ground team from Eden Prime Ambassador." If Anderson had picked up on anything, he did not show it. His voice was straight and no nonsense, as if he was talking to any other member of his crew, "This is Staff Lieutenant Alenko, Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams and-"

"-Commander Shepard." Udina interrupted. Shepard turned her gaze to him, surprised, to find that he was boring right into her eyes. She held the gaze, blue eyes on dark. She got the sense as if under the scope of a sniper, training his weapon on her, deciding whether or not to pull the trigger, "At last we meet. It is an honour." He offered a nod of the head.

Disarmed by the sudden change in tack, she fixed a smile to her face and returned the gesture,

"Likewise, Ambassador."

"I have the mission reports Captain. I assume they're accurate." Udina turned back to Anderson so suddenly that Shepard wondered if he had just forgotten her existence, his brow furrowed. At the same time, she felt a prick of irritation.

_Why the hell wouldn't they be accurate?_

"They are." Anderson replied immediately.

Udina sighed, the first overt concession of emotion he had displayed since they had entered the room, "then we have a problem."

"Did you get us a meeting with the Council, Ambassador?" Anderson got straight to the point, frowning himself in turn.

A moment of silence, Udina hesitated.  
"I lodged a formal protest with the Council over the lack of protection or assistance from their forces in the area and also discreetly made contact with Citadel Security over the conduct of a Spectre member..."

"You didn't ask for a meeting." Shepard couldn't stop herself bursting out as she realised just what the Ambassador was saying. This time she couldn't stop herself glaring at him, the memories of the burnt out Marines and civilians of Eden Prime surging into her conscious mind.

"Ambassador?" Anderson had kept calm but she could sense the sharp edge to his voice, the warning that sent the shiver down the spine of many a soldier.

"Of course I didn't." Udina growled, meeting the harsh stares of the entire team without so much as a flicker of discomfort. "Saren is the Council's top agent and has been for over twenty years. That's without going onto his influence with the turian hierarchy. Look at the charges; mass murder? Attacking a Citadel colony? Murdering a fellow Spectre? This is the Citadel! You can't just charge in, throwing around accusations, especially with this," he snatched up a datapad from his desk and waved it in front of them, "you've got nothing."

"An eye-witness..." Shepard began but immediately found herself cut off again by the irate Ambassador.

"-an traumatised smuggler, Commander, is not going to blow this case open." He virtually snarled at her ignorance, "and given your previous history with Saren, Captain, we'd be lucky if any hearing lasted ten minutes!" He slapped the report down again with a loud crack.

A moment of silence ensued.

"You do believe us, Ambassador?" Shepard took a deep breath, watching the man carefully.

"Oh yes," He exhaled, although the conviction in his voice did not extend to his eyes, "but we have to be subtle with this. We have to be careful. Your Spectre candidacy is hanging by a thread as it is, Shepard. Nihlus was supposed to give a final recommendation but with him dead, things are still up in the air."

"To hell with the Spectres!" She hissed, "Saren has to be punished!"

"He will, Shepard." Anderson placed a hand on her shoulder, turning to look into her eyes and immediately she understood; _not the time or place._

Turning back to Udina, the Captain frowned,  
"Is there anything we can do to assist in the meantime?"

"Not you Captain," Udina shook his head, "I don't want the Council using your relationship with Saren to dismiss any evidence we find. Shepard on the other hand," he looked thoughtful, "yes. I think something can be arranged."

"You can't just cut the Captain out of this," Shepard protested, glancing between her two Superiors.

"I can and I am." Udina folded his arms. Debate over.

"He's right Shepard," Anderson sighed in resignation, a sign of defeat that she had very rarely seen from the Officer, "You'll do much better without my help."

Before the redhead could protest further, Udina cut across her, speaking with fresh enthusiasm, the foul-tempered exchange of just moments ago already forgotten,

"C-Sec are investigating covertly but we'll need more than that. We need the Shadow Broker. Barla Von is an Agent of his down in the Financial District. You had better start there."

"The Shadow Broker?" Shepard folded her arms over her chest with an unhappy frown. Everyone knew who the Shadow Broker was; ironic because no one knew his true identity, or hers, of even theirs. The Shadow Broker was the font of illicit knowledge, bought or stolen, he had enough compromising intelligence to bring down every government and powerful individual in the galaxy. However, what he did was sell it to rivals or enemies, forcing them in turn to do the same to avoid losing the advantage. It was a never-ending game, a battle in which there was no winner, no one but the Shadow Broker. Shepard felt distinctly uneasy when she thought of the Shadow Broker. He was a dangerous operator, to whom the law was nothing more than an inconvenience to be bypassed. In this case though, she might not have a choice.

"Alright, I'll go talk to Barla Von." Shepard sighed, running a hand through her hair. Udina nodded.

"Excellent. While you are away, Anderson and I will review what we have so far, try to put as favourable and unbiased a spin on it as we can. We'll need to take Saren down in one fell swoop. Anything less and we put everything at risk."

Shepard nodded to show she understood and, with a quick signal to both Kaidan and Ashley, left the room. As she headed down the stairs, she bit her lip, realising that she had suddenly been thrown into a world where words were weapons, where every subtle move was judged and were blackmail and extortion were the norm. The dark and murky world of subterfuge, betrayal and lies.

_This is going to be fun..._


	12. Chapter 12

_AN: So the last chapter was the first example of this story diverging from the main canon of the game. This is going to happen from time to time. To keep things interesting of course. :)_

_The last example was because, even when I was playing with the game, that Udina -who has every trait of being a pure political animal- would surely know that any accusation of Saren was going to be shot down on their evidence. Of course, that means that everything else happening is divergent from the game. Hopefully if lives up to the original._

_In other news, I am going to try and update this story a bit more regularly, rather than the random schedule there is now. I was thinking it would be updated once or twice a week, depending on what people think._

_Anyways, with all that out of the way, let the story continue!_

There was something about the Financial District that Shepard found distinctly uncomfortable.

As she stepped from the taxi and glanced around at the polished white buildings, she struggled to place just what it was. Certainly from a physical standpoint, it looked no different to the rest of the Presidium; same decadent decoration, same spotless exteriors and same cocktail of species moving to and fro. In spite of this veneer of uniformity though, Shepard could sense something...wrong emanating from within. Maybe it was because she was about to make contact with the Shadow Broker. Maybe it was just an adverse reaction to the artificially insular lives of the bankers who surrounded her, so alien to the humble farmer's daughter from Mindoir. Whatever it was, as soon as Shepard set foot in the district, she felt her muscles tense, glancing over her shoulder. She felt like she was being watched.

"So, where do we start looking?" Kaidan asked as he stepped out of the taxi behind her, following closely by Ashley. Despite Ambassador Udina's protests, Anderson had insisted that both the Sentinel and the soldier accompany Shepard on her trip, with neither of them taking no for an answer either. Shepard had been slightly sceptical that she would need their help to talk to a volus banker but, now that she was here, she was grateful for at least two friendly faces.

"According to Anderson he works for a company called Citadel Investments. It should be fairly easy to find." Shepard exhaled, running a hand through her hair as she checked a nearby sign post. All thoughts of how they were supposed to track him down dissolved in an instant as she read the various locations advertised;

_Serrice Council Presidium Office_

_White Star Insurance Main Office_

_Citadel Security Station_

_Citadel Investments_

"Huh," Ashley read over the Commander's shoulder, "that's very convenient."

"Exceptionally." Shepard pursed her lips. She hated this place already. "Come on. Let's get this over with."

The trio caused quite a stir as they walked through the district, to the point that Shepard checked herself and her companions to make sure that none of them were walking with their weapons out or brandishing offensive slogans. Was the district really so quiet that three Alliance marines caused the same sort of stir she might have expected for an armed robbery? She could see eyes of all species following her, conversations dragging on and petering out as their participants' attention was caught as she moved by. It felt like a spotlight had been set specifically on her and an audience was waiting for a performance. She felt her head shrink down into her shoulders as she walked while Kaidan and Ashley subconsciously closed the gap until they were virtually rubbing shoulders.

"I get the impression we're not welcome." Kaidan murmured across into Shepard's ear. She nodded in reply,

"What was Joker saying about stabbing people again?"

Kaidan snorted, "Yeah, well, just keep an eye out I reckon. At least until we get to Barla Von's place."

"Then keep an even closer eye out." Shepard added.

After just a few minutes, they arrived at a quite large building labelled 'Citadel Investments! Spend today, profit tomorrow!'. Slipping inside revelled an expansive reception area, dominated by a large water feature in the centre of a volus holding up a collection of papers. There were bustling crowds not unlike the embassy, but a much greater mixture. There were volus, turian, hanar, asari, salarians and even humans standing impatiently in line or at one of a hundred tables, nodding open mouthed as a volus gestured to them.

As soon as they had entered through the door, they were accosted by a pretty woman in a business suit carrying a clipboard,

"Welcome to Citadel Investments. If you would come with me please, Mister Von is expecting you." She turned on her heel as crisply as any soldier and marched away, not even bothering to check if the three humans were actually following her or not. With a bemused look at her comrades, Shepard did indeed give chase, following her as they took an elevator up at least a half dozen floors before being ejected into a long, sterilised white corridor with doors dotted down its entire length.

"Mister Von is in room 233f," the woman said in the same clipped voice as before, "have a pleasant day." The door slammed shut before Shepard could even open her mouth.

A few doors down, they found room 233f, which opened as soon as they approached it. The office within was bright and airy in spite of lacking windows, dominated by a large desk in the centre with a terminal to one side. As with the Ambassador's office, the walls were dominated by books -mostly economy-related volumes Shepard noted- with a few colourful paintings to add to the atmosphere.

The being sitting behind the desk was a small and rotund being, barely up to Shepard's navel. He was wearing a brown suit that concealed the entirely of his features, with a white stripe running from the circular mouthpiece over the skull and down the back. In place of where the eyes should have been there were just a pair of small dotted lights that switched off and on as if blinking. He looked up as Shepard entered,

"Ah, Commander Shepard. I have been expecting you." his voice had a synthetic edge to it, as if he was speaking through a radio, with a hissing breath punctuating each sentence.

"So I see," Shepard glanced around suspiciously, "you have me at a disadvantage."

"Forgive me," Barla Von settled back into his chair, feet dangling well above the ground like a child, "Barla Von, Chief Capital Officer, Citadel Investments. Would you, Chief Williams and Lieutenant Alenko like to take a seat?" another breath.

"Thanks, but no thanks." Shepard crossed her arms. She did not feel threatened by the volus, but that did not mean he was not dangerous, "How do you know who I am?"

"It is my job, Commander Shepard. The Hero of Elysium, the recent savour of Eden Prime, here on the Citadel? Even if it were not in my remit Shepard, I could not have failed to notice your presence." A hiss.

Shepard was rather alarmed that this polite, if dour volus knew who she was. He sat there, swinging his legs absent-mindedly but she could tell that he knew a lot more than he was letting on; about her and about the situation as a whole. She did not like this one bit. She just wanted her information and to get out, before the shadows that swirled and formed in her mind threatened to engulf her.

"I was told to come to you for information."

"Yes you were." A slight nod, "and it is true that while my official job here is to advise and invest discreetly on behalf of clients, my true occupation is to gather information. It's a small side business but a highly lucrative one and, most importantly, safe. I don't deal well with danger Commander, I shall leave that to you."

"Thanks," Shepard replied dryly, a hint of frustration also creeping in, "do you have information on Saren?"

"Myself? No," The volus answered immediately with another hiss, the lights in his suit blinking rapidly, "unfortunately, Spectre Saren is a good customer of my employer. Unless you can come up with the necessary funds to purchase the information Commander, I will not be furnished with it."

"How much are we talking?" Shepard felt a sinking feeling in her stomach.

"A lot, Commander Shepard. Much more than your Ambassador will be willing to part with." Barla Von's neutral, almost robotic tone did not change but Shepard could almost hear a note of sympathy. "I am sorry that you have wasted your time here but before you go, I have just one piece of advice. I would watch my back if I were you, Commander. There are a lot of people on the Citadel who want you to fail."

"What a waste of time." Ashley sighed aloud as they stepped back out into the financial district.

"He did say it was a business," Kaidan reminded her, "its a poor business model if he doesn't charge for his work."

"I know," Ashley pursed her lips, "but it's so frustrating! He has access to the information we need!"

"Yeah, we just need to bankrupt the Alliance to get it. Fair trade right?" Shepard cut in bitterly. She privately agreed with Ashley; having the evidence they needed so close but inaccessible was torture.

"I don't suppose we can get it any other way?" Ashley sounded hopeful.

"You heard Von, he said he didn't have the information himself. Its probably a precaution to stop people roughing him up to get it. We supply the cash, he gives it to the Shadow Broker and we get our intelligence." the Lieutenant frowned.

"Kaidan's right." Shepard sighed, "the direct approach isn't going to get us anywhere. We just need to play the game, like everyone else."

"That damned volus. What the hell was that bit at the end all about?" the Chief rubbed the back of her neck.

A pause.

"He was warning me." Shepard was chewing her bottom lip, causing both Kaidan and Ashley to glance at her, "'watch your back'. He means we're being watched." Kaidan's eyes flicked from side to side while Ashley could not help but look around, as if she was lost. Shepard herself resisted the urge to do the same. She could feel so many pairs of eyes on her, watching her, judging her, that it was hard to tell which ones were malevolent and which ones were simply curious. She needed to get out of the Financial District, which she had decided was the least friendly place she had ever been.

"Well now I feel really unwelcome." Kaidan murmured softly, as if there was someone listening.

"Tell me about it." Shepard shook her head, "Come on. Let's get in contact with the Captain. Maybe he has some other lead we can follow up on."


	13. Chapter 13

Once the trio had found a taxi and climbed up to join the long lines of traffic that streamed in both directions above the Presidium, Shepard activated her communicator. She waited impatiently while the traffic shot past the cockpit of their craft, little more than blurs while the green, blue and white of the ground below mixed together like a utopian watercolour.

It was a few moments before the communicator clicked,

"Anderson, how did it go with Barla Von?" Her Captain asked, his tone becoming noticeably richer through the faceless communicator.

"Dead end. We need to buy the information and it won't be cheap." Shepard didn't even bother trying to hide her frustration at how the meeting with the volus had gone.

Even though she could not see him, Shepard could imagine Anderson grimacing at the news,

"I thought as much. It was worth a try anyway."

"He also said we were being followed."

"I'm not surprised. Keep your guard up, Shepard. There's eyes everywhere on the Citadel."

"Have you any other leads for us to follow up on?"

"Not right now. You should get some rest while you can. There's an apartment in Zakera Ward that the Embassy owns. Be ready if we need you." Anderson hung up, though not before sending through the co-ordinates they would need to reach the ward. Good thing he did, Shepard didn't even know which Ward was Zakera.

It turned out that getting there was a bit of an odyssey. Their driver dropped them off at the Ward Access and left them to get an elevator, crammed in with a dozen others on a descending journey that seemed to drag on for an age. Shepard found herself checking more than once to make sure that the lift was in fact moving, wedged uncomfortably between a turian and an elcor. Finally, they stepped out into Zakera Ward and were able to find a driver to take them to the address given. The sudden shift between the soft, artificial daylight of the Presidium and the harsh darkness of the nebula beyond the Citadel arms was a little disorientating, not to mention the sudden crowds after the open space and fresh air of the Embassies.

Their taxi eventually settled down on the landing pad of a tall, slender apartment block which would have looked impressive if not for the even larger ones that flanked it, like a child standing between two adults, insignificant in their presence. The room was simple but comfortable and typically human; two bedrooms, a bathroom and a massive open planned area which contained the kitchen, the dining room and the living room. It was finished with wooden floorboards, neutral wall colours and soft mood lighting to counter the immutable darkness. One wall consisted entirely of glass and opened out onto panoramic views of the entire Ward, stretching off into the distance before ending with a delicate curl, like the flick of a pen at the end of a sentence and beyond that, the star of the system, half concealed like a permanent sunset. It also served to flood the main room with light, illuminating it better than any pathetic artificial source could ever hope to have achieved.

"It's not bad." Kaidan delivered his verdict as he followed Shepard through the door.

"Whoa, check the view." Ashley gasped before the Commander could answer, eyes fixed on the windows as if drawn by some hypnotic force.

"Not bad is it?" Kaidan laughed at her wide-eyed, open mouthed expression.

"It's beautiful." Ashley shook her head, "it makes Jump Zero look like a toilet."

"How many people you think are living out there?" Shepard stood in front of the window, just taking it all in.

"Millions at least. Got to be." Ashley shook her head.

"So many species all squeezed together, all having to co-exist and co-operate. No wonder they're taking it so slowly with humanity." Shepard whistled.

"Yeah, that's what they say." Ashley muttered resentfully. "any excuse right? Maybe they just don't like us."

"What's not to like? We've got oceans, beautiful women, this emotion called 'love'. According to the old vids, we've got everything they need." Shepard's tone was teasing as she glanced over at the Chief. The last person she expected to speak was Kaidan from the kitchen.

"In that case there's no reason they wouldn't like you-I mean us! Humans! Ma'am..." Kaidan's voice slowly trailed away as he buried himself in a cupboard in the kitchen. There was an awkward silence.

"You don't get much shore leave, do you Kaidan?" Ashley laughed, forgetting the dour subjects of the Council and politics.

"Okay, laugh it up Chief," Shepard chuckled lightly before she turned back to the kitchen, "we got enough to make a dinner Casanova? I'm starving."

Fortunately, the kitchen was well stocked and Kaidan proved to be quite a good cook. After they had eaten, the rooms were divided up; Kaidan would take one and the two girls would take the other. They spent the rest of the night just relaxing and talking. Although the passage of time in the Wards was entirely arbitrary, given that the star never changed position, it was clear that it was getting late.

It was when Shepard caught Ashley suppressing a yawn that she had finally had enough,

"You should head to bed Ash, you too Kaidan." She looked over at the Lieutenant, slumped in a chair with his eyes half closed.

The woman looked like she was about to protest before she was cut off by a loud and drawn out yawn that would have made any attempt at debate rather redundant.  
"Maybe you're right. I haven't slept much since...well..." Ashley shrugged but Shepard could see the pain. Eden Prime was still an open wound, still raw and exposed to the outside world. She nodded sympathetically.

"I know. Go get some sleep if you can." She suggested sympathetically.

Ashley rose from the chair, stretched, and headed into the bedroom with a murmur of 'good night'. Kaidan went to follow but, as he reached the bedroom opposite that of Ashley, he turned back to see that Shepard had not moved, standing in virtual darkness.

"You not coming as well Commander?" He asked.

"Kaidan, I did nothing but sleep on the way here." Shepard was standing at the window, looking out onto the Ward, "you head on. I'll go when I'm tired."

"Aye Ma'am," Kaidan hesitated, as if trying to work up the courage to speak again, "Ma'am...about what I said earlier..."

"I know Kaidan," Shepard turned to look at him over her shoulder, a reassuring smile adorning her ethereal features, the haunting glow of the star casting her face in spectral shadow, "and thanks. I appreciate the sentiment."

Kaidan nodded, relief engulfing his face, "thank you ma'am. Good night."

"Good night Lieutenant." She watched as the door clicked quietly shut before the smile slipped away and she turned back to the window, absorbed by the view and by her own thoughts as the minutes just slipped away.

After a time, she had no idea how long, she heard a beep from the front door, someone entering an access code. Her thoughts came crashing back to reality as she half spun, arm outstretched, the room lighting up as her entire body glowed a soft blue, her biotic power channelled, weapon forgotten at her side.

The door hissed open and in stepped a familiar figure.

"Captain Anderson, sir." She was surprised to see him here, the light abruptly vanishing, casting the room in darkness again, "I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"I dropped by to see how you were getting on." Her Captain explained as he walked up until he was standing alongside the commander. He was still wearing his military uniform, immaculate despite at least a full day of wear and tear. Like Shepard, his full features turned waxen and unhealthy in the unflattering starlight, eyes gazing out on the view.

"It's...quite the view isn't it?" Anderson sighed as he stared out over the Ward, the activity never dwindling despite the supposed lateness of the hour, buzzing and humming with the aspirations and fears of a galaxy, life churning together, bound by their loyalty to a giant floating station and the ideals it represented.

Shepard allowed herself another smile, "best seats in the house."

"When I first arrived on the Citadel, I was...blown away by it all. The sheer amount of life here is...overwhelming..." Anderson had not torn his gaze from the window, though Shepard risked a sidelong glance to see that his expression was wistful, almost regretful. She could see a young Anderson coming here, full of the same hopes and dreams as those they shared the station with. What had happened over the years to turn him into the Captain she saw before her?

Time, she supposed. It caught up to everyone, after all, though no doubt a life of selfless sacrifice had not helped matters. When she looked at Anderson, was she looking at herself, twenty or thirty years in the future? A broken shell haunted by the memories of the past?

She snapped out of her reverie as he broke the silence,

"We've looked over the evidence against Saren and, much as I hate to admit it, I have to agree with Udina. We haven't got enough evidence to conclusively prove his involvement. We need what Barla Von has, which probably means the Ambassador is going to have to bite the bullet and pay up."

Shepard turned fully to look at him now, eyebrows raised,

"The Ambassador would do that?"

"He doesn't have much of a choice."

"Sir..." Shepard hesitated, "permission to speak freely?"

"Granted." Still he would not look at her.

"Earlier on, the Ambassador mentioned that you and Saren had a...history..." she trailed off, not quite sure how to bridge the subject and turn it into a question.

The Captain exhaled deeply, as if his worst fear had come to pass. For her part, Shepard just watched, taken aback by how tired he looked,  
"Yes, I worked with Saren on a mission, must have been twenty years ago now. We had gotten word of an illegal AI research facility out in the traverse along with...hostages. It was being operated and protected by Batarians." Anderson glanced at Shepard at the mention of Batarians but the woman remained a sea of tranquillity. He continued,

"Now Alliance Intelligence had done all the grunt work and we were ready to send in an N7 team but the Council stepped in. They felt that, given our...relationship with the Batarians, we were going to spark a war if we were left to our own devices."

Shepard raised an eyebrow, "the Council really told us we couldn't handle our own affairs?"

"In so many words yes, that's what they told Ambassador Goyle, Udina's predecessor. They wanted someone with experience involved. They wanted a Spectre."

"Saren."

"The one and only. I was sent along as humanity's representative. Things went bad. We completed the objectives, but a hell of a lot of civilians lost their lives. All Saren's doing. I saw how he worked Shepard. The very pinnacle of turian battle tactics. Strike hard, strike fast, strike mercilessly. He'd kill thousands to get the mission done."

Shepard shook her head, "just numbers right?"

"Precisely Shepard. To him, Civilians are just obstacles to be blown out of the way; like a wall or a door."

"So what happened?" Shepard murmured, wondering why Anderson still wouldn't look at her. She could sense the passion in his words, the anger at what Saren had done. She could empathise with him. What Saren had done was inexcusable. How many families had been torn apart by the turian? How many lives had he ruined simply because he couldn't be bothered finding another way?

"The Council swept it under the carpet. Saren got a pat on the back and I..." he stopped suddenly and shook his head, stung by the injustice, "it doesn't matter. What matters is that you don't become like Saren, when you become a Spectre."

"Sir, about that," Shepard hesitated again, "why didn't you let me know? I mean, earlier than you did."

Another, long pause. Anderson seemed to be weighing up his answer while Shepard stood and watched, fingers playing with one another out of view,

"Officially? To prevent leaks." He finally said, "Unofficially? Well...if I had told you six weeks earlier Shepard, would it have come as any less of a surprise?"

She had to think about that one. He had finally turned to look at her and, with that gaze boring into her own, she found herself faced with the honest truth,

"No sir and don't get me wrong, I'm not ungrateful. Becoming the first human spectre is a huge honour but..."

"...there's a lot of baggage that goes with it." Anderson nodded in understanding. "I know Shepard. I wouldn't have put you forward if I hadn't thought you could handle it."

"You recommended me?" Those sapphire eyes widened. "Why?"

"What we're asking isn't a walk in the park," Anderson replied, gazing at her, "humanity needs the best that it can offer. Like it or not Shepard, that's you. I have faith in you Shepard, I know you can do this." He glanced at the clock on the wall, "It's late. I should go and let you get some rest." He turned to go.

"Anderson!" He paused at the door, turning to see that Shepard had turned entirely towards him, her outline dark against the blinding background, "thanks..."

"Any time, Shepard." Anderson spent just a few more moments watching her before the door hissed shut and she was on her own again.

With a deep sigh, Shepard turned back towards the window, leaning against it with a single arm over her head supporting her weight, thoughts as clouded as the nebula beyond the horizon.


	14. Chapter 14

The next day was when the case was blown open.

The communicator for the flat was buzzing urgently, insistently. It rang for four minutes without ever once missing a beat, three rings every four seconds until someone picked it up. At first, there was no response from the inhabitants of the apartment, deep in their subconscious and reluctant to awake. The persistence of the communicator was rewarded however, when Shepard, who had been sitting and dozing lightly on the couch not far from the device -and deliberately ignoring it- finally yielded the battle and went to answer, finally suppressing the lazy part of her mind which told her someone else would answer. Rubbing sleep from her eyes, the Officer picked it up and slipped it into her ear.

"Hello?" her voice was thick and slow.

"Commander Shepard?" A hiss.

"Hello Barla Von." Shepard sighed, still trying to work the gunk from her eyes, _where the hell does this stuff come from anyway?_ "How did you get this number?"

"The Ambassador _-hiss-_ give it _-hiss-_ to me. _-hiss-_ I must _-hiss-_ speak to you _-hiss-_ immediately."

His breathing was much quicker than it had been yesterday. It sounded like he was trying to force the words out between panicked gulps of...whatever it was that volus breathed.

"Calm down Mister Von," the sleep dissipated on Shepard like smoke on the wind. "What's happened?"

"I have _-hiss-_ information about _-hiss-_ Saren. I have _-hiss-_ what you need. Come see me _-hiss-_ now." He hung up, the silence an unnerving successor to the panicked and urgent speech of the banker.

Setting down the communicator, Shepard vaulted over the couch and banged hard on the two bedroom doors. "Up! Up now! Look alive people c'mon!" She bellowed in her best Drill Instructor voice.

In seconds, both doors were thrown up. To her left was Ashley, dressed still in nightclothes but with her pistol in her hands, while Kaidan was dressed only in a pair of boxers, his body glowing blue to contrast with the angry orange light of his omni-tool on his wrist.

"Ma'am...what?" Ashley slurred, looking at Shepard through half-lidded eyes. "Wha-"

"Silence in the ranks Chief! I want both of you out here in three! Go!" She roared. The two doors slammed shut so hard that they nearly came off the hinges. She could clearly hear the scuffling and banging as both soldiers hurried to dress. Fully clothes, Shepard chuckled lightly to herself and wandered into the kitchen to get an apple for breakfast.

Within two minutes, both the Lieutenant and the Gunnery Chief presented themselves in crumpled clothes with their weapons at their side, trying to stifle yawns as they loaded into a taxi, bound for the Presidium once again.

"So, Commander," Ashley muttered between whines, "what's the rush."

"Barla Von wants to speak to us again. I think he's going to talk." Shepard was brooding out the window, watching the Citadel go by.

"He does? I thought it was going to cost a fortune." Kaidan leant in from the back seat, frowning.

"Something's obviously changed over night." Shepard replied without turning around, "He didn't sound overly...calm."

"You think Saren's got to him?" Ashley was looking uncomfortably between her two superiors.

"I don't know." Shepard was looking forward to the meeting with Barla Von, thinking of what could have riled him so. They were still a distance away. There was still the journey up the elevator to the Wards Access and then yet another journey across to the Financial District. They were still an hour away. At best.

After another long and cramped journey in the elevator, they arrived back on the Presidium. This time Shepard did not notice the green gardens or blue skies, she was already looking for transport.

"Commander Shepard?"

Shepard spun to find herself face to face with a turian. He, like her, was flanked by two more of his kind, with tattoos running over their skulls and dressed in civilian clothing. Each had a pistol at their sides.

"Yes?"

"I am here on behalf of Barla Von. Mister Von has gone into hiding following threats to his person. Come with me." He was regarding her with narrow, predatory eyes.

"Alright." Shepard nodded. Ashley and Kaidan slipped in between the turian's two fellows as they turned back towards the Wards Access. They were not heading for the elevator this time but a maintenance shaft. Shepard slowed and stared at the turian.

He walked on for another good few steps before he realised that the humans were falling behind. He glanced over his shoulder.  
"Mister Von has gone into hiding following a threat to his person. He wished his meeting place to be more...private..."

"I see," they were now out of sight of the Presidium, the bright light swallowed up by murky, narrow corridors with only grimy wall bulbs their source of illumination. This was the dark side of the Citadel. She was not convinced on the turians. Her instincts were screaming at her. They were not C-Sec and they were being far too casual about this. Far too laid back...at least as much as a turian could be. _I wonder..._"When Mister Von called me last night, why did he insist until this morning before meeting?"

"He felt it necessary to safeguard himself before..." the turian trailed off, "shit."

He spun, hand dropping to his pistol. Shepard moved purely on automatic. She took a giant stride forward and slapped down his wrist. The weapon barked, deafening in the confined space. The turian lashed out with a closed fist. Shepard just managed to duck out of the way as that bony fist glanced past her cheek. She kicked with a knee to his midsection, hoping that turians could be stunned by that. He was not winded as she might have hoped, but he did bend over at the pain. She could heard two more gunshots behind, recognised the roar of an alliance pistol. She did not turn. She grabbed the turian in front by the back of his skull and kicked again with the knee. She felt something give with the sickening connection as he slumped backwards, blood spurted from his face, his eyes rolling up to the back of his head. As he dropped, she felt the warmth of biotic discharge, the entire walkway lighting up a soft, melancholy blue. Her attacker was joined by a second turian as he skidded across the ground on his back, Kaidan at her shoulder in seconds. A quick glance around confirmed what she had suspected. The third turian was slumped against the wall, a bloody stain showing his slow descent down the surface, pistol still in his hand. Ashley stood over him, weapon steady in both hands, a bruise on her cheek.

"Those were Saren's men." Kaidan puffed.

"I know." Shepard wasn't sure how she knew. She just knew, "You two okay?"

"Stay where you are!" At the end of the corridor stood a human C-Sec Officer, his pistol in his hands, the barrel weaving about as he tried to stop himself from shaking. "Put your hands on your head!"

"Shit." Shepard raised her hands while Ashley lowered her weapon to the ground and Kaidan's aura abruptly vanished.

"You're under arrest!"


	15. Chapter 15

_We are getting nowhere._

Detective Garrus Vakarian sat in his chair and tapped his talons on the desk, more out of a need to work out some much pent up frustration than anything else. His desk was much like the rest of his life; a cluttered mess; with reports scattered all over it. Some were finished, most were not. They were joined in the debris field by pieces of stationary; most of which were there just because he liked them, bits of uneaten breakfasts, dinners and suppers, along with broken and scrunched up cups which contained the drinks he needed to keep him fit and proper after a full day of work, or very early in the morning. On top of this were more reports from other offices within C-Sec, tips from anonymous sources promising the end of the galaxy if something wasn't done now. They were right at the bottom. It was rounded off by various bits and pieces of crap that he could not trace and barely remembered ever putting there. In the centre was a perfectly square piece of unobstructed desk, upon which he was tapping impatiently.

_Sitting and waiting. Always waiting._

He thought back to what his father had once told him, all those years ago when they had rather unhappily been united in the Service together. His father had always told him that if a job was worth doing then it was worth doing properly. Cutting corners to benefit the short term only caused problems in the long term. It was a load of crap. Always had been. Garrus did not understand why his father had let Criminals go if Garrus had not built up enough of a case. It shouldn't have mattered how he gathered the evidence or what it was, so long as he could use it then that should have been enough. Not according to the great Sevin Vakarian. The rules had not been followed, the bureaucracy had been breached. It made his evidence null and void in his eyes. Even thinking back now, all these years later, the turian still felt his blood starting to boil when he thought of the injustice. No matter how angry his father had been at letting those criminals get away, it was nothing compared to his own.

Working within the rules was a noble idea and one that he fully supported, but when fighting the criminals, sometimes it was necessary to stoop to their level. That was fine, so long as one didn't stay there.

He heard a buzz at his door and glanced up.

"Come in." he called.

The door hissed and in stepped a human, dressed in the uniform of the Citadel Security, he had a report in his hand and a grim look on his face.

"Ah, Jonas." Garrus stopped and surveyed the human carefully. When they made those faces, did that mean a good thing or a bad thing? "Any news?"

"We went to Citadel Control as you requested Detective but they wouldn't give us anything on Saren."

"What?" Garrus' mandibles flickered. "You -did- tell them you were from C-Sec right?"

"Of course, but he's a Spectre. Everything he touches is classified. Same story when trying to follow up his purchase history or any meetings he's arranged. Zip. Nada."

"I see." Garrus leant back and stared up at the ceiling, appealing to some unseen god to descend upon him and give him the inspiration he needed to crack this open. His most obvious avenues of inquiry had been shut off to him. He would need to be a bit more...imaginative.

"By the way, did you hear the news Detective?" Jonas asked, snapping the turian from his musings. "They arrested Commander Shepard."

"Shepard?" Garrus glanced down at the only intelligible report on his desk, small and beady eyes flicking across the lines of text until he saw what he was looking for. Yes. The complaint from the human Ambassador had mentioned a Commander Shepard. She was on Eden Prime, the scene of the crime.

_Could be worth something._

"What happened?"

"There was a fight in one of the maintenance shafts off the Presidium. Some local meat heads; she and her buddies put two in hospital and one in the morgue. You remember Talla?"

"Yes." Garrus' eyes narrowed. Talla was a notable turian thug on the Citadel. Protected by powers above that Garrus could never comprehend he had enough crimes against his names to bury the Detective's desk in at least double the number of reports again.

"Him."

"Really?" Talla was not just some low life pond scum. He was trained muscle and quite expensive. He was also smart. He would never have attacked Alliance Officers without a _very _good offer on the table.

_Definitely worth something._

"Where is she?" He hauled himself out of his chair, feeling the muscles in his legs creak and groan in protest, the result of sitting all morning and brooding.

"Interview Room 9A. Seena has the case but she's giving you twenty minutes before she goes in." Jonas ducked out.

Garrus bounded to the door in virtually two great steps, feeling fresh hope spring within. He had been hitting nothing but dead ends during the past 48 hours, an impenetrable smokescreen behind which sat Saren. He knew the turian was up to something, his instincts were screaming at him but, without the magical proof, his case was all smoke and mirrors. No substance.

Striding through the corridors of Citadel Security on autopilot, he tried to think of the implications. Was Saren trying to have the human Commander killed? That would definitely demonstrate there was more going on between them than first appeared. Their only connection was Eden Prime. If he could prove it then it gave him his first piece of solid evidence.

As he turned the corner to the interview room, all that optimism dried up.

Standing there, her foot tapping patiently on the deck with her arms crossed, holding a report in one, was a female turian. The ridges that swept back across her face were not as long as his own, while her bony face was lighter in shade than his, tribal markings decorating her features and giving her a much younger appearance than him. Her eyes were small and blue in colour, fixed on his.

"I was wondering when you would get here." She welcomed him.

"Satera, what are you doing here?" Garrus asked with a frown. "I sent you to the Records Office to find Contacts of Saren."

"I was there when I heard about Shepard. Executor Pallas sent me."

"Pallas..." Garrus stared at her. "he sent you to keep an eye on me didn't he."

"I believe his expression was 'hold your leash.'" His partner answered steadily without so much as a smile. "I argued very strongly against it."

"Thank you-"

"I don't think we should be talking to Shepard at all."

"What?" Garrus was too dumbstruck to elaborate further. "What? Why?"

"She made the complaint against Saren. Anything she gives us is unreliable at best. At worst, it gives the case and evidence a clear pro-plaintiff viewpoint."

"She's a lead, Satera. We need to follow up on any lead we have. Beside, she didn't make the complaint, the human Ambassador did. She's just mentioned in his complaint."

"Same difference." she glowered, "her participation could damage the case."

"_What_ case?" Garrus almost snarled but managed to catch himself just in time, to curious glances from the two Officers guarding the interview room door. He took his partner off to the side and spoke in a much more measured, controlled tone, "Look, Satera. We have nothing on Saren. Nothing. At this point, I'm about willing to interview the spirits themselves."

"Garrus," for the first time, the cocksure young Detective hesitated. "Don't you think you might be looking for a smokeless fire?"

"Is that what you told Pallas?" Garrus stared her right in the eye.

"Of course..."

"Right." The turian male straightened rigidly, his voice stunted, "let's get this over with."

The two Officers were still staring but nonetheless straightened to attention as both Garrus and Satera stepped inside.

The room was plain, bare only for the table sitting in the middle, a single light glowing above it. To one side of the table were two empty chairs while across from it was Commander Shepard. She was looking down at the table, no worse for wear after her attack. She looked much like any other human, he thought. Same pale skin and same skinny body. Indeed, the only thing he noticed as different was the hair. Already a strange thing to a turian, her colour was not one he had seen often, a rich red. Then there were her eyes. When she looked up at them, watching as they took their seats, he was taken aback by them. They were a deep blue colour but there was so much more to them, enticing and threatening at the same time, wild and yet calm. He watched her thoughtfully as Satera cleared her throat.

"Interview beginning at 1200 Standard Galactic Time. Presiding are Detective Lexx and Detective Vakarian. Commander Shepard, can you tell us what happened."

Shepard had been watching Garrus but now she finally broke her gaze and turned her attention to the female turian. If she was as taken by those gaze as he had been then she did not show it, but then Satera never showed anything resembling emotion on the job.

"I was on my way to a meeting with someone when I was intercepted by the...three gentlemen in question. They informed me that they were representing my friend and to accompany them. Once in the tunnels, they revealed their lie and attempted to attack me and my friends. That's it." A pause. "I'm fine, by the way."

"I'm sorry, Commander?" Satera frowned.

"I'm fine. From the scene to this interview room, no one has asked me if I was okay." Her gaze flicked back to Garrus briefly before turning to Satera, "I thought someone would like to know. In case I need a doctor or anything."

Garrus realised what she was doing and resisted the urge to smile, _she's teasing us._

"I apologise Commander, but given the condition of the other participants, I guess your health was neglected."

"It's okay. I can forgive you this time, just be careful in the future."

Satera blinked. There was a moment of silence while she tried to regather her thoughts and continue the questioning,

"When in your company, did the suspects ever mention a name other than that of your friend, or otherwise give a reason for what they did?"

"Well, they wanted to kill me. Does that count as a motive?"

"Not really..." the female Officer trailed away, glancing over at Garrus.

"Why were you going to meet your friend, Commander?" Garrus picked up on the silence plea and leant forward on the table. He saw the corners of Shepard's mouth twitch. Was she resisting the urge to smile? What was so funny?

"He had information on a case I was working on. He said it was urgent that I meet him." She was staring intently at him, not once breaking eye contact. Again, he found himself fixated by those sapphire orbs.

"Did he?" Garrus felt that thrill running through his body again. He reminded himself to leave a tribute to the Spirits later. "Did he say what it was or who it was about?"

"No to the first and yes to the second."

Garrus stared her right in the eye. "Was it about Saren?"

"Detective!" Satera sounded horrified. "Commander Shepard, there is no need to answer that question."

The redhead did not break her gaze, although she looked confused, "yes it was. My friend had information from the Shadow Broker on Saren."

"Excellent, where is this friend?" Garrus was nearly lifting out of his seat in his excitement. This was perfect. Everything he needed, "I'll accompany you."

"Interview suspended at 1208. Detective Vakarian, can I speak to you in private please?" Satera kicked her chair back and stormed to the door, waiting impatiently until Garrus reluctantly joined her, trudging away from the woman who held every answer he had ever wanted.

Satera did not even wait for the door to hiss shut before she turned on her elder partner, "what the hell was that?"

Garrus took a step back, so radiant was her anger, "what?"

"That started out as a simple interview, how the hell did you manage to turn it into a plot against Saren?"

"He's a Criminal!"

"He's a Spectre! And what was all that about you running off to get information from an informant? You can't just skip off!"

"Why not?"

"There are procedures to follow! You need forms, requests, permits..."

"Oh yeah, so I can rush out and wait for six months while they process. The female is offering the information for free. Satera, we have to chase this lead up."

"No, we don't! _You_ have to chase it up! And when you do, you'll compromise every piece of information you find."

"Satera, every single time we try to put someone away, the red tape chokes it. For once, I would like a victory."

"I don't want a victory! I want a conviction!" She hissed. Shaking her head she stepped back, growling in frustration, "You know what, I don't care. If you want to run in like a raging animal and destroy this entire case then go for it. Even if you bring in anything, you can't damn well use it." She stormed off.

Garrus hesitated, tempted to go after her before deciding against it. She was annoyed and she was stubborn. She was too turian for her own good, too in love with the rules and regulations that made up daily life in the Hierarchy. She was too much like his father. Sometimes, it was just necessary to break a few laws to upload it.

An Asari C-Sec Officer was striding down towards the Interview Room with a pad in her hand and a sour look on her face. Garrus rushed across to her,

"Detective Seena! Are you going to interview the Commander?"

The Asari sneered and shook her head,

"I wish Garrus. We just got new evidence from the scene. Security camera footage of the incident. With the human Embassy kicking up a fuss, I've got to let her go." The Asari paused for a moment, "I saw Satera a moment ago. She looked pissed."

"Just the usual." Garrus shrugged as the Asari ducked into the interrogation room. She emerged seconds later, escorting the Commander. She was not smiling, but seemed to have taken on an entirely different personality.

"Commander!" Garrus stepped forward. When she looked at him, he got the sense that she was doing more than just looking him over, he felt like she was scanning right down to the very depths of his soul. It was unnerving, even for a police officer. "When you're going to your client. I want to be there. I want to help."

Shepard frowned, but he could tell that she was tempted by the offer. "You want to help bring down Saren?"

"I haven't been able to prove anything I know what's really going on. _Saren is a traitor to the Council _and a disgrace to my people!" He blinked, surprised at himself._ Where the hell had that come from?_

Shepard considered for a few more seconds, then nodded,

"Alright. From the sounds of it, my friends won't be joining me any time soon."

"Sorry Commander, I can release you quickly enough but Chief Williams killed someone. Can't just be released for that. Lieutenant Alenko hasn't been afforded the same...courtesy as yourself." Seea shrugged her shoulders as she left.

"Come on Shepard, I'll get us a private transport. We can be at any location you need on the Presidium..." the turian's explanation trailed away to a cold, stunned silence as another car pulled up next to the one he had been planning to take. As the canopy slid back, he saw a figure emerge that, until now, he had only seen in video footage, from far away as part of a great crowd or, more recently, in the files of Citadel Security. Towering over them both, his form heavy and domineering with an evil leer that sent shivers down even his spine, was Saren.


	16. Chapter 16

Not for the first time in his long career, Saren Arterius was disappointed.

When he had read the report on Commander Lauren Shepard, Human System Alliance Marines, he had not been quite sure what to expect when they inevitably came face to face. Now that he was here however, he saw that he had once again assumed too much about humanity and a particular human in general. From a physical standpoint, she was nothing impressive. She was smaller than him, thinner than him and considerably more fragile than him. He knew that humanity placed a big emphasis on their enhancement programs and the augmentations given to all soldiers but they really just brought a weak and incapable species up to the level of the rest of the galaxy.

Yet...she had been on Eden Prime.

Saren had been careful. He was always careful. He had placed enough of a wall around the beacon to ensure that no medium sized military force should have been able to reach it. He had thought that Nihlus would be the only one capable of breaching it.

Nihlus on Eden Prime had been a surprise. He had known that his former student was going on an assignment -the details were kept strictly confidential as always- and so his appearance on the human colony, so far away from turian space and really out on the fringes of Citadel space had been an unpleasant gift. He had been forced to improvise. He had briefly considered trying to convince the Spectre of what he was doing there, why he had done what he had done. Nihlus and he had a history going back over a decade. Nihlus had risen through the ranks of the Spectres thanks to his guidance and training. He was considered one of the best and whenever Saren thought of his past accomplishments, he felt a sense of pride in the turian.

Yes, if anyone would understand what he was trying to do, and why, Nihlus would.

His instincts screamed against it however. As if he was actively fighting with his own mind. _No!_ It seemed to scream _You can't let anyone know! Nihlus will not understand! He will try to stop you and he will tell everyone! There is only one thing you can do!_

Saren had always trusted his instincts. When he had fired that pistol shot into the back of his oldest friend's head, he had felt nothing but a surge of satisfaction, a sense of deep pleasure in doing his duty, in doing what was needed to save the galaxy. Afterwards...well...there would always be guilt to live with in every decision that was made. Saren carried enough around with him to burden a thousand humans but he carried it gladly, knowing that his sacrifice would save lives in the long run.

If only they knew.

With Nihlus' death, he had hoped that the last loose end was tied. Not so. Despite his security and despite his caution, this human had still managed to make it to the beacon and, worse, might even have used it. The overwhelming rage had seen him destroy the room, a furious outburst at the incompetence of the Geth, panic that he might be discovered too soon and the consequences that it would bring. He had been planning far too long to let some human ruin it. They were a violent race; with the morals of the Batarians, the honesty of the Salarians, the mercy of the turians and the modesty of the asari. That one of them had somehow managed to derail his plans was infuriating, to say the least.

That mood had only deepened when he finally met the female face to face. She was an ugly little thing with delicate pink skin, big eyes and bright red hair growing out of her head, just to remind the galaxy of what she really was; an ape. Right now she was staring at him, brow furrowed, as if she had spotted a threat coming the other way.

_She had no idea._

"Spectre Arterius," The C-Sec Detective with her spoke with some measure of surprise. He too looked suspicious, but at least he offered the turian the respect he deserved, "what a surprise. What are you doing here?"

"I heard that Commander Shepard had been arrested. I came to see if there was anything I could do to assist." it was partially true. He had indeed heard that Shepard had been arrested and he had been partly satisfied. Those fools he had hired to kill her off had not been quick or smart enough to do the job but if she was rotting in a C-Sec cell then she was out of his way. That only left the final obstacle that had been placed in his path, this damned investigation.

He had heard about it through some contacts in the service, some people who could scarcely believe it. Saren could scarcely believe it. Him? Under investigation for treachery? The very nerve of it. He had never once betrayed his oath to the Council and he had not started now. Victory required sacrifice. They all knew that. Even so, the humans were crying over their colony so any admittance of guilt would be counter-productive.

"I have also come to assist in enquiries against me." The turian detective perked up and looked very interested at that. It confirmed his original suspicion. Shepard was behind the complaint and working with the team here. "I know that many of my details are confidential and, without wishing to compromise Council security, I do want to see justice done. I am handing over select files detailing transactions, travel permits and whereabouts over the past few weeks. It should help."

"Thank you," the detective nodded, "I'll have an assistant collect them right away."

_Yes and when you look, you'll see that I was well away from Eden Prime at the time of the attack, proving my innocence and shooting down this pathetic little attempt to gain attention._

Turning his attention to Shepard once more, Saren allowed himself a small smile. He had become a good actor during his years as a Spectre, "Commander Shepard, we've never met I believe."

"Not directly," was her response, still eye-balling him, challenging him, speaking in a low but polite tone, "I believe we had a mutual acquaintance on Eden Prime." He picked up on the subtle suggestion in that phrase.

His smile dropped.

_You little bitch._

"Yes I heard about Nihlus. A shame that he had to die in the line of duty," _too true_, "but when he died, his files passed over to me. I will be taking over your assessment."

He had indeed read her file, read up on her past. He knew everything about her, every single little accomplishment of her sad little life. He found it quite amusing reading actually; as if she had become a microcosm for everything humanity had done wrong in the galaxy. Her home planet had been burned to the ground by the Batarians, in retaliation for stealing worlds that should have been theirs and effectively bullying them out of Council space. Even her supposed greatest moment, saving the human colony at Elysium, was only the result of desperation from the Batarians and, again, would never have happened if that rabid little species had just learned its place.

"Should I be watching my back as well then?" She crossed her arms over her chest, "I take it you read my report on Eden Prime then."

"Yes, it was a...most interesting work of fiction."

"Sorry, I would have given you a bigger role in it but I could only report what I saw and heard."

He could feel the anger rising inside him, coursing through his veins like a broken dam. His mind was screaming for him to stay calm, that starting a fight in the middle of Citadel Security risked upsetting the plan. His heart was crying out to rip her to pieces. Then he felt a serene calm wash over him, a sense of surrendering control to another side of him which could analyse the situation much more logically than he. He welcomed it.

"Yes, all you saw and heard. All coming from a single smuggler who survived by crawling into the gutter and hiding, like your species always does, Shepard."

That got her. He saw the flash of anger behind those bright blue eyes,

"I'll get you-"

"-oh no you won't Shepard," Saren wanted to laugh at her expression, he leaned in a little closer, virtually snarling, baring his teeth, "because you have no proof. There is no proof that I was on Eden Prime because I wasn't there. Your little circus is going to be thrown out by the Council, humanity will be put back in its place, just like it was on Mindoir, just like I'm doing now. And you, Commander Lauren Shepard, will be rejected from the Spectres on my recommendation, for displaying a sound lack of judgement and clear Xenophobic tendencies towards a senior comrade." There was more he wanted to say but he satisfied himself with merely thinking it, drinking in the pain he saw behind that steely gaze,

_You think you're something special, that you have some sort of given right to deny me my destiny? I could crush you like a grape you insignificant little speck. I could defeat you with barely a fraction of my power. When I achieve my goals and the galaxy bows down before me as their salvation, I will find you Commander Shepard and for every single second that you have kept me from my mission, I will visit upon you tenfold. I will make you scream. You shall reap what you have sown here and your future will be empty of anything but pain._

Saren was surprised, given that he had virtually bitten her ear off to see that Shepard had not shirked away or stepped back. She had not even broken the gaze he had kept with her, cold and unflinching. Instead she leant in, standing a little on her toes to compensate for the much taller Spectre and whispered in a dark and menacing voice,

"Say what you like, because I can see right through you, Saren Arterius. I can read you like a god damned book, and all I see is a desperate little man trying to cover his tracks. That's why you're here isn't it? Because you're scared that when someone starts digging, they might just find something. That's why you tried to have me killed; because you know that there's evidence out there somewhere and that when it's found -and I promise you, _I_ will find it- you will lose _everything."_ She virtually hissed the last word, "and as for the Spectres, I will gladly set humanity back a thousand years just to watch you burn, traitor."

Saren's arm twitched as he desperately fought with the urge to grab her and rip her puny little throat out while she just stared him down, as unwavering as a mountain in a breeze.

"Saren!" It was another turian C-Sec Senior Officer coming down the stairs towards the trio, "you should have warned us of your arrival. Come on in and I'll get you something warm."

Saren and Shepard stayed with eyes locked for a few moments longer, each trying to disintegrate the other with their vision alone, before he finally broke away and headed up the stairs. Shepard did not turn back. She settled herself into one of the transports with the Detective and headed off into the heart of the Citadel.

Saren smiled and made polite conversation with his turian comrade but, it was only when he sat down, that he realised how shaken he was. Shepard was just a human. She was small, weak and insignificant in the great scheme of things. She should not have been a threat.

...so why did he feel a cold sense of dread every time he recalled looking into those deep, blue eyes?


	17. Chapter 17

AN: Hey everyone, sorry for the tardiness of this chapter and future apologies for the haphazard posting following on. I started back at University this week so I have to fit writing in and around that. Hopefully my work has not suffered…

The journey across the Presidium was a quiet one. Garrus was behind the wheel of the C-Sec patrol car while Shepard sat beside him and looked out the window, brooding in silence. The Detective glanced over several times, as if hoping to catch her sneaking a peak or otherwise giving some sort of indication that she was alive. But no. She may as well have been a synthetic. The moment she had stepped into the car she had just switched off. It was getting quite annoying staring at the back of her head all the time.

Garrus had many flaws, and he would even be the first to admit that to anyone, but one of the most irritating was his inability to truly read humans. He could get a handle on what they were thinking, or doing, or what they meant when their faces seemed to melt a little bit and they looked like wax models but he had never been able to convert this into a truly reliable skill. When interviewing humans, they were so much more difficult to read; more expressive but harder because of it. When a human raised his eyebrow in an interview, did that mean he was lying? Was he surprised? Was he simply raising an eyebrow? It was impossible to know for sure.

Now though, even he, the turian, could tell that Shepard was upset. Or was she just thinking about what she and Saren had said?

He had caught snippets of their conversation; never enough to actually turn into a piece of evidence but he had been taken aback by the change in the turian Spectre the longer he had spoken to Shepard. He had learnt in and virtually snarled at her; a sign of aggression amongst turians and a signal that one wrong move was going to end very badly for the receiver. The monologued was clipped and aggressive. He did not see Shepard's reaction but he saw Saren's. He saw the delight in his eyes, saw the victory plastered across his face and in that moment, Garrus found himself possessing a raw hatred for Saren he had not known himself capable of. He had even wished to have some concrete evidence in his possession, something he could use to flank the bastard and wipe that smug grimace off his cold, bare face.

Riled as he was, Garrus could not express the euphoric sense of satisfaction when Shepard, rather than stepping back or otherwise showing fear to the turian, instead stepped in closer, inviting the conflict and whispered something in his ear. The words were lost to him, half murmured and veiled in a menacing mystery but their effect was clear. Saren stepped back, his eyes shining for rage, so much so that Garrus was about to reach for his pistol before the Spectre was called away.

Shepard had not spoken since.

The silence was killing him.

He cleared his throat with a cough. Shepard did not turn around.

The Detective hesitated, not sure if this was a can of worms he wanted to open. His curiosity was killing him almost as quickly as the silence but he knew he was straying into dangerous territory.

"Shepard," He turned to look at her. She gave a low grunt. It was so low, in fact, that Garrus almost mistook it for the car, "back at C-Sec..." he trailed away as his train of thought and his confidence deserted him simultaneously. He cursed himself. He knew she was listening, waiting. Was there something she was waiting for? Some dreaded topic that he was about to drag up from the depths of history?

_Well...here goes nothing..._

"Saren mentioned somewhere called Mindoir..."

That was it. He knew he had hit the soft spot when her shoulders tensed. The silence, which had been passing so slowly already, began to drag out to the point that every second felt like a lifetime. A slow, tedious lifetime. Garrus wondered if she was even going to answer him. Given her reaction, he was grateful she didn't just turn and hit him.

Instead, what she did was turn around to face him. That was the first surprise. The second surprise was that, rather than being angry as he had imagined, there was a small smile adorning her features. She did not look happy, which he learned human smiles were meant to show, she just looked sad.

"Mindoir is..._was_ my home. It was attacked by Slavers and destroyed." She said in a low voice before looking away again, as if the effort of speaking about the planet and looking at him simultaneously was too much.

Garrus had thought that his hatred for Saren could not have grown worse; that he had reached an all new high but in those few seconds, he wished he could be face to face with the turian again. He wanted to see that expression of joy; the delight he had taken in mocking Shepard's loss and he wanted to pull his gun. He wanted the last thing Saren ever saw to be the vengeance of the turian people. He had called the Spectre a disgrace to his people before but now he saw that calling him a 'disgrace' was actually a compliment. There were no words for what he had become.

At the same time, he felt a very special guilt tear through his own mind for bringing it up. Shepard did not want to talk about it but he had let his curiosity get the best of him. Him and his big mouth.

"I'm...sorry, Shepard." He stumbled, though he wasn't sure if he was apologising for Mindoir or for bringing it up.

"Most people are," She sighed, turning back to look at him. She was still smiling, but this time there was more warmth to it, a genuine display of gratitude, "but thank you. I appreciate it."

The rest of the journey was completed in silence.

The car settled down in front of Citadel Investments and a quick wave of Garrus' Identification got them inside and beyond the main foyer, as busy as it always had been. Once in the back corridors though, Garrus noticed an awful lot of guards standing around. They were well armed, pistols and shotguns strapped to their bodies, and they were paying very close attention to the pair as they walked by.

"It's funny, I don't remember bankers ever needing a private army." Garrus remarked quickly to Shepard as they passed another pair of turians, sporting the same weaponry and suspicious glances as before.

"They weren't here last time." She replied, chewing her bottom lip thoughtfully, "Barla Von is watching his back."

This time the Banker's door did not hiss open upon their approach. They stood outside for the best part of five minutes while a turian on the other side asked all sorts of questions which Shepard answered back through the door with an obviously growing sense of frustration. Finally, after the incessant questioning which put even C-Sec interviews to shame, was finished, the door hissed open.

"Commander Shepard!" A hiss. Barla Von was behind his desk, surrounded on all sides by yet more guards.

"Sorry I'm late, Von," Shepard stood in front of his desk, Garrus at her shoulder, "but I was waylaid a little."

"Yes I heard," the volus hissed sharply. Garrus wondered if his suit was leaking, "I am glad that my provisions were sufficient to secure your release."

"You got me freed?" The Officer sounded understandably suspicious.

"Courtesy of the Shadow Broker. He thought you might appreciate it."

"Why?"

"Commander Shepard. Since yesterday, the situation has changed. The information on Saren would have cost you a small fortune in normal circumstances but now I am giving it to you for free."

"The Shadow Broker never gives out information for free." Garrus frowned, mandibles flicking, his confusion clear, "why would he start now?"

"As I said Detective, these are exceptional circumstances." The C-Sec Officer stared at the volus. He had never introduced himself.

"What are these circumstances?" Shepard brought the attention back to the matter at hand.

"Saren has betrayed the Shadow Broker." The volus spoke with such gravity that he might well have been speaking about a declaration of war. "it's unheard of. He must either be very brave or very foolish but he has betrayed the Broker and he is not happy."

"Is that the reason for..." Shepard gestured around at his personal guard.

"Saren knows that I am an agent for the Shadow Broker and no amount of words will convince him that I know nothing on his enemy. That is why the Broker wanted you free Commander. It is why he wants you have this information."

"What information?" Shepard leant forward, almost subconsciously and Garrus found he was doing the same. This could be it.

"There is evidence on the station Commander, in the hands of a young quarian. She came to the Broker for help, wounded, but he was betrayed by lesser agents in the pay of Saren. She was in the lower wards when last I heard."

"Then we need to get to her first." The human rose.

"Wait! Commander! There is more. The Shadow Broker does not tolerate betrayal well. He has hired a Mercenary by the name of Wrex to kill him."

"Wrex?" Garrus frowned, "we brought in a krogan by that name this morning. He was threatening a local club owner called Fist."

"That is his target." Barla Von nodded. "Well, that is all the information I have for you. Good luck Commander Shepard. Please don't contact me again."

As they stepped out of Citadel Investments and headed back towards the car, Garrus felt like his mind had just entered a Mass Relay. His imagination was in overdrive; excitement and concern swirling together to create images of victory and defeat, glory and shame. He was still trying to form a coherent thought when Shepard spoke,

"Seems like we need to be in two places at once." She sighed. "We need to find the quarian but I don't want a krogan getting in our way."

"We can split up," Garrus suggested, those coherent thoughts finally settling in his mind. "I'll run through my contacts, see if a quarian has passed through the wards recently. They're quite rare so it shouldn't be too difficult."

"I'll go back to C-Sec then, see if I can find this Mercenary." She nodded, pleased with the suggestion. Garrus felt a surge of satisfaction for being able to help. Strange, he had never felt that before, "we'll met up in the wards."

"Alright Shepard, see you there." Garrus stepped into the squad car and rose up to join the streams of traffic flowing high above the Presidium. Shepard strode off to find a public transport terminal.

'_Well, I didn't expect to see this place again so soon.'_

Shepard stepped back into C-Sec Headquarters, tactfully ignoring the looks of surprise on the faces of the guards flanking the entrance. Probably the first time someone had been back to C-Sec voluntarily within an hour of being released. In truth, Shepard was not entirely sure what she was going to find when she returned. She had encountered enough krogan; mercenaries and pirates mostly, to expect the worst. Yet, at the same time, there was a curious streak running through her that she had to satisfy.

Any worries she might have had about finding the krogan assassin in the massive building were very quickly removed as she laid eyes on what could be her man. He was being flanked by four C-Sec guards sporting assault rifles and shotguns, towering over them all. He looked like a soldier, through and through, the reptilian male thick and powerfully built even when factoring in the armour. His parchment coloured skin was laced with scars, deep and heavy through his thick coat. His eyes were widespread, small and beady with a strong jaw filled with sharp teeth. He had a rifle slung over his back, a shotgun at his thigh and a pistol by his hip.

There was an unfortunate human C-Sec Officer standing in front of him, looking up at the big, hump-backed giant.

"You're being warned Wrex. Stay away from Fist." He was saying.

"You should warn Fist. I _will_ kill him." The krogan spoke in a heavy and gravelly voice. To Shepard, it sounded like he was chewing boulders.

"You want me to arrest you?" The Officer seemed exasperated, obviously this was not the first time he had tried to dissuade the krogan.

Wrex burst out laughing, a move that made every Officer around him tense up, "I want you to try." He glanced over the shoulder of the human and saw Shepard casually watching him, arms folded. Without another word, he brushed past the C-Sec Officer, who could do little more than just shrug him off with a final, ignored warning.

It was only when he approached Shepard that the redhead appreciated just how big he was. The krogan towered over her, to the point that she had to tilt her head up slightly when he got in close. She could hear his breathing, heavy but controlled and disciplined. Though she had faced them in battle before, she tried to keep an open mind when it came to the species as a whole, especially in a new situation like this. Even so, as he lumbered towards her, the fact that she was unarmed unnerved her a little. Not that she was going to let him know that.

"What do you want human?" He asked in the same, guttural voice.

"I want to know," Shepard spoke with a casual air that sounded convincing, even to her. "what sort of krogan allows himself to be brought into the middle of C-Sec only to threaten to blow his way out?"

Wrex seemed to ponder that. Shepard watched him keenly, fighting every urge in her body which warned her to prepare for battle. She was not expecting him to give a deep and heavy chuckle, "That is the right sort of question. Urdnot Wrex." He held out a hand, "what do you really want human?"

"Command Shepard," She took the hand, feeling him crushing. It was another test, an attempt to force his dominance on her. Even though she could feel the bones in her hand grinding together, she did not wince, "I hear that you're going after Fist. We have a common enemy."

"You want Fist?" Wrex's amusement had evaporated in a flash. The Commander pursed her lips. Again, he seemed to be considering. Shepard had never seen a krogan consider his moves like this before. It was unbecoming of everything she knew about the race. "there is an old saying amongst my people. Look for the enemy of your enemy and you will find a friend."

"Yeah," Shepard was not convinced, _'Look for the enemy of your enemy and you've found another enemy maybe'_. Wrex was now very close. She could tell that Wrex was sizing her up, judging her. She stood her ground. She had never stood down from a challenge; not Saren and definitely not this krogan, "but if you come aboard, then you need to know that _I'm_ in command. Do you understand?" Wrex's glowered at her, as if angry at the announcement. Again, she simply stared into his eyes and dared him to do worse. It was funny; she had been more nervous of him when he had been approaching than when she was talking to him. It was if something had sparked in the back of her mind that just went, _No. I am not afraid._

"Okay," he finally said. Shepard blinked in surprise. She had not been expecting him to just agree like that. Urdnot Wrex was definitely not like any krogan she had ever met. "but Fist is going to die."

"We'll see," Shepard frowned at him as her communicator beeped.

"Shepard, It's Garrus," She recognised the turian's voice, breathing quick and deep, "we have a situation in the Wards. I'm sending you the co-ordinates now."

"Copy," Shepard pursed her lips. She had wanted to find out about her friends but Garrus' voice left no doubt that this was something she had to respond to immediately. Ashley and Kaidan would have to wait.

"C'mon Wrex. We have a...problem, down in the Wards."

"Hah, sounds like fun." The krogan laughed again, "I'm right behind you Shepard."

_'Yeah'_ Shepard thought as they headed back for the transport, _'that's what worries me.'_


	18. Chapter 18

Travelling to the address Garrus had given, Shepard found that it was at the end of a long corridor in the Wards. Approaching the rather unremarkable building, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. There crowds bustling by without so much as slowing down or looking up, only parting when they reached Shepard and her new best friend. Indeed, if the reactions of these passers-by were anything to go by, Wrex was the only thing out of place in the Ward.

"Huh, what are they all worried about?" He grunted as yet another Asari took a very wide detour around him.

"I honestly couldn't say Wrex." Shepard rolled her eyes, noting the large shotgun on his hip and the scowl that permanently adorned his gnarled features, "Garrus' co-ordinates are for the Medical Clinic over there. Might as well go have a look."

"He was wasting your time Shepard." Wrex grumbled, "probably couldn't find his little signed piece of paper that lets him take a shit."

"I don't think Garrus is that type of turian." Shepard bit her lip, "Come on. Won't take a moment."

Approaching the door of the Medical Bay, Shepard frowned when it didn't automatically open. Weren't Clinics like this supposed to be open to let sick people in? Bringing out her omni-tool, she spent a quick moment flicking through. It had been locked from the inside, but the lock was just an off-the-shelf model that her military grade hacking software would make mincemeat off.

With a beep, the door hissed open and Shepard cautiously slipped inside, hand dropping to the pistol at her hip.

The first thing she saw were the four people. They were all humans, one a woman with short-cut red hair and the others rough looking men. Shepard's eyes automatically flicked to their waists, where she spotted all three were armed with pistols. The room itself was small, modestly decorated with only a row of beds marking it as a place of medicine. The beds were unoccupied and the clinic itself deserted aside from the little party in the middle.

As Shepard came through the door, the man noticed and roughly grabbed the doctor. She squirmed helplessly in his vice-like grip, arm around her neck, as his comrades pulled their pistols. Shepard did the same, the weapon in her hands in a flash, Wrex drawing a weapon just over her shoulder.

"Let her go." Shepard ordered, drawing a bead on the head of the hostage-taker.

Before he could even speak, a shape appeared from behind a side-wall to their left. The sound of a pistol shot rang out in the confined space and the thug collapsed in a bloody mist. The doctor gave a frightened squeal as the grip around her throat was loosened and she ducked away. Before the other two could even react, Shepard and Wrex fired; one shot each. Both fell to the floor, guns clattering away.

Approaching the dead thugs cautiously, pistol in both hands still, Shepard saw the shape come out of the shadows to join her, weapon held casually in one hand.

"Perfect timing Shepard, gave me a clear shot on the bastard." Garrus grinned.

Shepard did not smile, simply looked at him in disbelief. How could he have been so callous? "What were you thinking? You could have hit the hostage."

Garrus' smile vanished, the look of celebration replaced by one of horror. "I didn't think I just reacted, I..." it dawned on him what Shepard had said, "Doctor Michel, are you hurt?"

The doctor was standing behind them, fidgeting nervously. Her face had paled but she did not seem otherwise affected,  
"I am fine thanks to you Garrus." When she spoke it was with a notable French accent, "those were Fist's men. They came to shut me up."

"I thought they would." Garrus nodded, slipping his pistol back into his holster, "you run the only clinic in this part of the Wards. I thought a wounded quarian might come to you."

"They were wounded?" Shepard looked sharply at the detective who just nodded.

"Fire-fight in the wards. One of my contacts saw it happen. Doctor Michel, what happened to the quarian?"

"Gunshot wound. Nothing serious." Michel sighed, "even with my limited experience in quarian physiology, I could tell it was not life-threatening. She was frightened more than anything. She said she wanted to talk to the Shadow Broker. I put her in contact with Fist..."

"Shit." Shepard closed her eyes.

"We need to get to Fist's club. It's not far from here." Garrus was already moving to the door but he was stopped in his tracks as it hissed open long before he got there.

"Why am I not surprised to see you here." Shepard recognised the female detective standing at the door, the customary scowl on her face, "I heard reports of threatening individuals in the area. I thought you might have something to do with-" She trailed off as she spotted Shepard, "hello again Commander."

"Good afternoon." Shepard smiled pleasantly, "it's a small world...well...station."

"Indeed. I have a present for you. " She turned aside to reveal Kaidan standing just behind her, still in his casual uniform.

"Kaidan!" Shepard rushed over, her relief bursting forth as the elated exclamation, "what are you doing here?"

"Released." He smiled, "gave me a caution and let me go. Funny how I come to the Citadel a dozen times and the first time I come with you, I get a criminal record."

"You know me Kaidan. I try to keep things interesting."

He laughed before glancing over Shepard's shoulder at Wrex, nudging one of the dead thugs with his foot, "did I miss much?"

"Don't even get me started. Come on, you ready to add to your new record?"

"Always." He patted his sidearm with a grin.

Shepard turned her attention to the two squabbling turians who were speaking in low, hissed tones to one another.

"-I'm going to Fist's club. I need to talk to him." Garrus was saying.

"Good idea." She replied, Garrus looked surprised. "Go get a warrant." The look vanished.

"This is no time for red tape Satera! We need to get into that club now."

"You can't just ignore the rules whenever you feel like it, Garrus." She replied in a low hiss, "you're a police officer, not a vigilante. You have procedures to follow!"

Shepard could feel her patience already ebbing. They didn't have the time to sit here and debate the situation. Every second they wasted was another second the quarian was in danger.

"Detective," the female turian turned to look at her, eyes blazing. Shepard ploughed on anyway, "we _have_ to go now. If we don't then someone is going to _die_."

She could see the woman hesitating, uncertain. Shepard willed her to make the right choice, boring into her eyes, silently pleasing.

"Oh...fine." She huffed, "but I'm coming along too. I can at least make sure you're breaking the law in the right way."

* * *

"You okay Kaidan?" Shepard knelt by her friend, concerned, as Garrus rubbed medi-gel on the gaping wound in the man's shoulder. He winced but otherwise seemed unhurt.

"I'm fine Shepard." He sighed, "who keeps turrets in their office anyway?" He glanced at the smoking ruins to either side of Fist's desk, "that's just overkill."

Shepard sighed, "I know." she paused a moment. "I told you I tried to keep things interesting."

The Sentinel chuckled, followed by a wince, "I think I preferred the walks in the Commons."

She patted him on the good shoulder, smiling softly. The fight with the turrets had been both unexpected and difficult. The thugs protecting the locked down Club, not so much. They had been no match for the group of five armed with rifles, pistols, biotic powers and Tech attacks. When Kaidan had gone down while trying to hack one of the turrets, she had felt that familiar dread swelling up in her stomach. That he would make it out with out with only a scar brought a sense of relief she couldn't really explain.

Fist stood in one corner, under the watchful eyes of Wrex while Satera stood beyond the office, looking for reinforcements. He was a tall and powerful looking man, heavily scared with black, remorseless eyes and a permanent sneer that just invited a thumping.

"Where's the quarian?" Shepard's tone was sharp and carried just a hint of anger, just to let him know she wasn't fooling around.

Fist glanced at Wrex and saw that it probably wasn't a good idea to try acting the smart man,

"She's not here. I sent her to a meeting point in the wards. I told her she was meeting the Shadow Broker."

"Impossible." Wrex growled. The sneer on Fist's face temporarily vanished and was replaced by one of panic, "even I was hired through an agent."

"No one meets the Shadow Broker but she didn't know that. When she turns up at the meeting point, it'll be Saren's men waiting for her. You've got maybe ten minutes." he glanced at a clock on the wall.

Shepard could tell that he wasn't lying, he was too worried about his own skin to do that. She nodded to show she believed him and turned away. Garrus and Satera could bring him in, she, Wrex and Kaidan would find and rescue the quarian.

She jumped as she heard the deafening roar of a shotgun go off beside her. Spinning, heart in her mouth, she saw Wrex standing over the eviscerated remains of Fist, weapon in his hands.

"What are you doing?" Garrus leapt up, rifle in his own hands.

"I don't leave jobs half done." The krogan seemed entirely unperturbed by the sudden outpouring of anger around him.

Shepard stared down at Fist, or what was left of him, and felt something stir inside her. The anger flowed through her system and she turned back to the krogan with the rage coming out in her voice,

"We. Don't. Shoot. Unarmed. Prisoners." She snarled, face to face with the much bigger, much heavier mercenary. His eyes met hers briefly before he looked away. The tension was so thick one could have cut it with a knife.

"He had it coming. We don't have time to discuss it now." he finally said.

"He's right Shepard. That quarian's dead if we don't move now." Kaidan put a hand on Shepard's shoulder. From the way he was gripping, she couldn't be sure if he was trying to placate her or readying himself to pull her away if she launched herself at the krogan.

Finally, with all the willpower at her disposal, she turned away. The disgust she felt was palatable but it was nothing compared to the other's swirling around in her mind; guilt and shame. Wrex had no right to do that. Fist had trusted her to keep him safe, that he would be spared. She had failed to command her squad...she pushed those feelings away. Now was not the time for a post-mortem. If they didn't reach the quarian then the emotions would return tenfold.

"Satera!" She called through the door, the female turian peering through curiously. "We have a location!"

"I'll have units meet us there." She nodded.

The journey to the location Fist had given them seemed to take twice as long as it should have. Shepard sat alongside Satera as they skilfully weaved their way through the traffic. Considering the speeds they were moving at, the turian woman was doing a remarkable job to both avoid smearing them across the wall and speak on her communicator at the same time,

"Yes I need units at these co-ordinates now. Possible murder in progress. Confirmed. See you there."

Shepard glanced at her watch. They had five minutes.

"Step on it, Satera." She urged quickly. The turian just nodded and the whine of the engine grew in intensity.

Even before the craft had settled down, Shepard was opening the canopy. Behind her, Kaidan, Garrus and Wrex piled out, delighted to be in the open air again after being crushed in the back seat. As they tried to gather themselves, and restore feeling to their limbs, Shepard was already running, her heart pounding in her ears as she drew her weapon. She could hear the wail of C-Sec sirens getting closer, coming in from all sides.

One minute.

She jumped up a flight of stairs, taking them two at a time, leaving her party far behind. There, in a narrow corridor, she saw them. The Quarian was unmistakeable, lithe and slender, dressed head to toe in a decorative environmental suit. She was talking to a turian, no tattoo upon his features. There were two armoured Salarians approaching from the side, just out of the female's view.

"Look out!" Shepard drew up her strength, feeling the familiar warmth of biotic power flowing through her system. She threw her hand forward, focusing on the turian. He barely had time to look up before the wave of blue power struck him and he was knocked back against the wall with a sickening thud.

The others seemed to stand still, caught completely off balance by her sudden appearance. Then the quarian finally seemed to understand the situation she was in and threw something towards the Salarians. There was a burst of blinding light and both stumbled away, disorientated and slow hands grasping cumbersomely for weapons at their sides.

The wail grew in intensity as a C-Sec patrol car passed low overhead, the noise drowning out the heavy bark of Shepard's pistol as she fired shot after shot. The two assassins didn't even know who or what had killed them as they hit the ground.

Panting heavily, adrenaline flooding her system, Shepard rushed over to the quarian just as the hall suddenly filled with people. From one side came her party; Satera, Garrus, Wrex and Kaidan with weapons out and ready. From the other side came a dozen C-Sec Officers, armed with a mixture of side-arms, shotguns and assault rifles.

"Check them!" Satera ordered the C-Sec Officers, who nodded and fanned out.

"Are you okay? What's your name?" She asked the quarian, standing nearby. She was thin, much thinner than Shepard and the suit only seemed to enhance her fragile appearance. Her face was concealed entirely behind a mask, with only the faint outline of eyes making themselves seen through the murky visor. The bottom part of her mask was shaped like that of a Geth, complete with the small light that flashed as she spoke.

"I am fine." She said in a shaky, heavily accented voice. Shepard was struck by how young she sounded. "My name is Tali. Tali'Zorah Nar Rayya. Who were they? Who are you?"

"They were sent by a man called Saren to kill you." Shepard explained slowly, wondering how you checked a quarian for signs of shock, "My name is Commander Lauren Shepard. I'm with the Alliance military."

"Saren? The Alliance?" She hesitated a moment, before surging on, her voice filled with a sudden strength. "Then I have a chance to repay you for saving my life. I have something to show you."

"Commander!" Kaidan was blowing as he reached her side, his omni-tool glowing angrily, "what happened? You just vanished."

"You were taking too long. No offence," he shook his head to suggest he took none, "come on. Let's get back to the Embassy. I think the Ambassador is going to want to see this." She was smiling widely, her previously dour mood lifted. She had a feeling that today was only going to get better.


	19. Chapter 19

The trip back to the human Embassy went smoothly. The six of them; Shepard, Kaidan, Garrus, Wrex, Satera and Tali, had been given their own transport which would carry them back to the relative safety of the Presidium. They were flanked on all sides by more than a dozen C-Sec patrol cars, with sirens wailing to carve a hole through the ever busy traffic. The mood inside the transport was quiet but optimistic. Shepard sat directly opposite Tali, watching the young quarian who's life she had just saved.

"You're sure you're fine?" She asked, though she was sure that the kid must have been sick of that question. First the C-Sec Medics had a look at her. She had Kaidan double check just to make sure. Then Satera ordered the C-Sec people to have another look. She'd been scanned so many times that Shepard was surprised she hadn't caught something.

The reply was entirely expected, "I am fine Commander. Thank you for asking."

"Good." Shepard smiled at her but said little else. The truth was that there was a little tension, mostly revolving around the female Detective. Satera had wanted to take Tali into C-Sec, to question her about the people who had been chasing her. Shepard and the others had managed to persuade her that seeing the Ambassador was top priority. Shepard had not seen the data herself, but Saren had actively sent people to kill her. Whatever the proof was, it was obviously enough to worry the Spectre.

'_I've got you on the run, you bastard.'_

Still, there was a question over where the data had come from. Saren had been very confident when they spoke, and it seemed a little odd that it had ended up in the hands of a lone quarian still in her teens. Shepard began to feel the prickle of doubt at the back of her mind, the suggestion that she should be worried things were going according to plan.

_Because nothing else bloody has._

"Tali, how did you get the information? I've not heard of many quarians leaving the migrant fleet." She asked.

"I was on my pilgrimage..." Tali started, then immediately stopped when she saw the blank look on Shepard's face, "...oh...my rite of passage. I heard that there were geth in nearby systems. As you know, my people created the geth, so I was curious. I tracked a small patrol to a nearby planet, isolated one and managed to disable it. It wiped most of it's memory sadly, but I did get bits and pieces. Enough to tell me what was going on." She trailed off, as if embarrassed.

Shepard though, was only impressed, "You did all this yourself?"

"Yes..." Tali hesitated, "it was not as dangerous or as difficult as I make it sound."

"I dunno," Shepard smiled, "I faced Geth. They didn't seem particularly friendly to me."

If Tali had any reaction to that, she didn't show it. Maybe she did. Maybe she smiled and Shepard just couldn't see it. She couldn't imagine what it would be like, to live behind a mask...

* * *

The Embassy had been warned ahead the convoy's arrival and a suitable landing space had been formed just for them. The landing pad was lined with human soldiers as the transport settled and they all spilled out. Shepard was in front, Kaidan to one side and Garrus to the other, while Wrex and Satera were behind them. Tali was lost in the middle of them all, surrounded by a wall of armour, shields and flesh.

The Ambassador was standing waiting in his Office, hands behind his back, staring out over the Presidium. Anderson was there as well, sitting against a table, arms folded. As the door hissed open to admit them, he pushed forward, eyes fixed on those of Shepard; questioning, nervous.

Shepard nodded to him.

"You're not making my life easy Shepard. You know that?" Udina spoke without turning.

Shepard blinked. Who had spent the last two days being shot at and arrested? She might have missed a few things but she was sure as hell it wasn't the human Ambassador.

Encouraged when she didn't answer, he pressed on, "Fire-fights in the Wards, an all out assault on a night club...do you have any idea..." he abruptly stopped as he finally turned and saw the group laid out before him. "What are you all doing here? What are you up to Shepard?"

"Making your day Ambassador," Shepard stepped forward, quite enjoying his expression, especially when he looked at Wrex. She was fairly confident dragging a dead varren in wouldn't have caused the same concern, "I have proof of Saren's involvement on Eden Prime." She nodded to Tali who also stepped forward.

"You do?" Udina's gaze snapped to Tali. "and how did you come by this?"

Once Tali had explained how she had gained the data, Anderson looked concerned.  
"Geth patrolling Alliance space is not a good thing." He frowned. Shepard agreed.

"We can deal with it later. Let's have a look at the evidence." Udina waved away the worry, eyes fixed on the quarian.

Tali brought out her omni-tool. The excitement in the room was palpable. Even Shepard found herself being drawn in, like the start of a movie. They were all waiting for the show to start.

The first piece of data she showed did not look entirely remarkable. It was a wire map of Eden Prime, with positioning of various figures she took to be Geth, a few human markers and, finally, one on the Spaceport that was labelled in machine language.  
"I've translated it." Tali explained, "it means 'Saren'. There's more too. A voice recording."

She pressed another button,

"_...The beacon gave us everything we need."_ The voice was unmistakeably Saren's, _"The conduit will be mine soon enough."_

"_What of Eden Prime?"_ there was a second, demure female voice.

"_That hive of a colony is no concern. When the Reapers return, the humans will understand just where their place is in the galaxy."_

The recording stopped. Shepard exhaled softly, releasing a breath she had not realised she was holding. After all the excitement leading to the build up of the message, it had seemed almost anti-climatic.

"That's it." Udina looked triumphant, "that's everything we need. I'll arrange an emergency meeting with the Council immediately. We've got the bastard." he chuckled, even on the verge of smiling as he left the room.

Anderson did not seem to take the same childish glee from the news, looking more worried than he had before,

"Saren mentioned the 'Conduit'. I wonder what he meant."

"Another beacon?" Shepard suggested. She had expected to feel more elated at securing the evidence they needed but she just felt empty, cold. The few lines of speech seemed a poor return for the destruction of two Marine units and Jenkins' death.

And her dreams. She was trying very hard not to spend any time on those.

"Could be a weapon." Garrus offered his input, "maybe something to do with these Reapers?"

"I've never heard of them." Anderson shook his head.

"They don't sound like a folk group, I'll tell you that much." Shepard sighed, running her hand through her hair, biting her lip. She had hoped that the evidence would answer all her questions, not bring up more. She couldn't help but feel like she had heard them mentioned before.

"Well, whatever they are. The Ambassador is right, " Anderson stated, "We have the evidence we need to get Saren's Spectre status revoked. Come on, let's get down to the Council tower. I have no doubt they'll want to talk to you."

The Council Tower was located at one end of the Presidium and was immediately distinguishable. It stretched high over the other buildings, so high up that it was lost amongst the artificial clouds that formed the ceiling to the complex. The reason was clear, to act as a symbol to the power of the Council. Shepard was beginning to recognise that a lot of what happened on the Presidium was symbolic. Everything from the statue of the krogan, to the great stature of a Mass Relay was intended to speak of power and martial prowess.

The journey in the lift was a long one, especially with them all crammed into it. Shepard and Anderson had been intending to come for obvious reasons. Then Garrus and Satera suggested that they come along as the chief investigators in the case. Then Kaidan suggested that he come along too, as he could give an eye-witness account of events on Eden Prime. Tali had the evidence. Wrex came along because no one at the embassy wanted to look after him and the security teams were shitting themselves.

The journey was completed in silence, everyone reflecting on what they had seen and what would be happening. Once they had passed the Chamber Guard, mostly turians and asari dressed in ridiculously ornate armour, they came to a fork.

"Shepard and I will head down to the floor. The rest of you best head to the gallery and watch from there." Anderson nodded to one side. There were murmurs of agreement before the two turians began to direct people. Kaidan fixed Shepard with one last, lingering look before following the others.

"Just a quick pointer Shepard." Anderson stated as they passed into a small tunnel, "don't speak unless the Council asks you a direct question. I'll do the same. This is Udina's stage and we have to let him perform."

"Aye sir." Shepard wondered how the Captain could be so calm. She was about to meet the three most powerful people in the galaxy. They held sway over trillions. She felt her stomach turning over. She resisted the urge to play with the ends of her hair. She had to recall all the lessons she had picked up from her mother for formal meetings. Of course, they usually had not been preceded by two days of gunfire but...the concept was the same; keep your shirt tucked in, smile politely and don't pick your nose.

The Council Chambers, in the grand tradition of the Presidium, were circular, the ceiling arching high above their heads. They were coming out onto a small platform with the public gallery running around the entire edge of the chamber above their heads. Below the platform was a small garden, protected by a panel of glass while, situated in front of a huge window looking out over the entire Citadel, were the three Councillors.

Each was sitting in a large, white chair, which seemed to wrap around in front to form a desk. There was one of a turian, a Salarian and an asari. At that point their attention was fixed on Udina who was pacing up and down, his back to the entrance and to the two humans.

"-a deliberate and unprovoked attack on Citadel territory, taking the lives of many Alliance citizens and soldiers, even attempting to destroy the colony itself." He was saying, his voice bold and loud, "Not only does he do this, but he then has the nerve to return to the Citadel and attempt to lie his way through an investigation into his actions. He has shown no remorse for what he has done, nor can it claimed he still has the Citadel's best interests at heart. This evidence is proof of that." He finished, nodding to Shepard and Anderson as he took a drink of water.

"Ambassador Udina," the asari councillor spoke, voice booming in the expansive chamber "allow me to express, on behalf of the Council, our horror at the events on Eden Prime. We also express our heartfelt sympathies for the losses you suffered there."

"The evidence you have submitted, along with the report from C-Sec, is beyond refute." The turian took over, "As of now. Saren Arterius has been stripped of all powers and privileges granted to the Spectres and all efforts will be made to bring him to justice."

"Unfortunately, Saren departed the station earlier today." the Salarian did not speak in the same rapid manner as Shepard would have expected but slower, much more carefully, a true master of his words, "we are not aware of his destination but we know that he has moved into the Traverse. All efforts will be made to arrest him."

"Arrest him?" Udina looked stunned, "you know where he is. Send in the fleet!"

"A fleet cannot track down one man." the salarian said with the air of a man talking to a child.

"A Citadel fleet could lock down the Traverse, keep the Geth from attacking any more of our colonies."

"Or it could trigger a war with the Terminus Systems." The turian growled. "We won't risk it over a few human colonies."

That was it for Shepard. She could hear the little voice in her head warning her to stay quiet but then the image of the burnt out corpses silenced it.

Before she could open her mouth though, Anderson spoke up, virtually snarling,  
"This Council is a joke! Whenever we need _anything_you just wave us off!"

"Anderson's right." Udina was beside him in seconds and suddenly she could see why the pair would make a formidable force, "I am sick and tired of this Council's anti-human bullsh-"

"Ambassador please!" The asari lifted her hands in a gesture of peace. Shepard drew a small amount of pleasure in seeing that she was shaken. No doubt they had decided before the meeting not to dispatch the fleet but they had obviously not anticipated the human reaction.

Dead children tended to do that.

"There is a solution that does require fleets or armies." She spoke slowly, looking down the line at her fellow Councillors.

"No! It's too soon." the turian Councillor looked horrified, "humanity is not ready for the Spectres."

Shepard felt her stomach drop out completely. In spite of that, and the tingling that ran through her body, she still had the presence to speak,

"I am ready."

The turian frowned at her, crossing his arms over his chest. He did not look happy but, Shepard noticed, he did not argue that point.

After a few moments of silence. He nodded. The salarian followed quickly.

They began to type on the consoles in their desks. The lights dimmed slightly and a red spotlight appeared on the platform, directly in front of where Shepard was standing. The crowd, already big, seemed to swell even more with yells of 'Spectre induction!"

"Commander Lauren Shepard. Step forward please." The asari councillor instructed. Shepard did as she was told. She felt like she was about to step out onto a catwalk.

...or jump off a cliff.

_No going back after this._

"It is the decision of the Citadel Council that you, Commander Lauren Shepard, be granted all the rights and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Citadel." The asari Councillor spoke easily and with the gravity that recognised a momentous event was taking place.

"Spectres can not be trained, they can only be chosen. They are Individuals forged in the fire of service and battle, those whose actions elevate them above the rank and file." The salarian picked up as soon as the asari had finished. Shepard got the sense this was not the first time they had carried this out.

"Spectres are an ideal. They are the embodiment of courage, determination and self-reliance. They are the olive branch and the sword, the right hand of the Council and instruments of our will." The asari continued before glancing over at her turian counter-part.

"Spectres accept the burden and sacrifice they must carry. They are the protectors of galactic peace, both our first and last line of defence. They accept that the greater good must come first and that peace is worth any price." Although he had seemed reluctant, the turian did not miss a beat but his eyes were fixed on Shepard as he spoke. She knew that look; the look of doubt. He may have been speaking the words his job demanded but he didn't believe her capable of fulfilling them.

"You are the first human Spectre Commander Shepard. This is great achievement." The asari looked approvingly at the redheaded human, a smile on her face.

"I'm honoured." She bowed her head. She didn't trust herself to say any more.

"Your first assignment is to track down the rogue Spectre Saren Arterius. He is a fugitive on the run from the law so you are authorised to use any means necessary to bring him to justice."

"Yes, Councillors." Shepard wondered just how she was supposed to track him down when he was half a galaxy away but it seemed rude to ask. If anything, it felt like being back at boot camp for the first time. This was going to be one hell of a learning experience.

_Worse than Brazil?_

_Chasing down a living legend? A legend in command of a synthetic army and with the most powerful ship in the entire galaxy?_

_...still not as bad as Brazil._

The trio of humans departed from the platform and rejoined with the main corridor. Shepard's entire team was waiting and Udina gave them a wide berth as he pondered, unsmiling as ever.

"You've got a lot of work ahead of you. You're going to need a ship...supplies...a crew..." he shook his head, "Anderson!" He barked, "I'm going to need your help in setting this all up." He turned and left.

"Ungrateful little prat isn't he?" Garrus sighed once he was out of earshot

"Garrus!" Satera looked mortified.

"He's just thinking ahead." Anderson waved away any thought of offence, "congratulations Shepard." He held out his hand, smiling. Shepard took it. "You're going to do humanity proud."

"Thank you Sir." She smiled warmly at him, resisting the urge to just hug him. Had to keep some control after all.

"If I was you Shepard, I would get some rest while I could. I can guarantee the next few days are going to be mad. I'll be at the Embassy if you need me." Anderson nodded and headed for the exit.

"Wow...first human Spectre." Kaidan exhaled, "Ashley is going to be pissed she missed it."

"Speaking of which," Satera frowned, "I think we could probably get her release. Now that you don't obey the law any more and all..."

"A chance to break the rules? Run and gun across the galaxy?" Wrex chuckled deeply, "sounds like fun."

"Sounds like death." Tali shook her head.

"Well, the Captain's right. Better use this rest time while we can." She glanced around at the group, "we have an apartment in the Wards we can use. I think it'll fit most of you. Wrex...you might have to sleep in the bath."

"Are we going to fill it with water first? Maybe some soap?" Tali asked hopefully.

"Ha! I like you kid." Wrex put his hand on the quarian's shoulder as they headed for the exit, "bit of stench is good for you. Cleans the soul..."

"And kills the nose." She sighed, "at least I can switch my sensors off."

Shepard just shook her head as they reached the elevator. She didn't say anything, but already she was thinking of the apartment,

_'I wonder if Wrex would prefer a strawberry bubble bath or something with aloe Vera in it?'_


	20. Chapter 20

"Look, I can't bring all of you!" Shepard put her hands on her hips in exasperation.

"Well you're sure as hell not leaving me behind Skipper!" Ashley mirrored Shepard's stance, facing the woman with an angry glare. In truth, the expression had not left her face since Shepard and Satera had picked her up from C-Sec Headquarters. The mood had only darkened when she was brought up to speed on all that had happened. She also seemed to hold Satera Lexx personally responsible. The turian's defence that 'you shot someone. Dead!' did not hold much water for the soldier.

"I've missed everything up to this point, I'm sure as hell coming with you. Besides, I am an actual Alliance marine! You can trust me!"

"Are you saying something human?" Wrex growled menacingly. They were standing around in the main living room of the apartment, the window open onto the Citadel as ever. Not that anyone was paying any attention to it as they debated the point. Anderson was with them, delivering the news that Shepard was to be assigned a new vessel. He had then helpfully stepped back to let Shepard's party surround her and ask to come along.

Now though, he stepped back in before an intergalactic incident erupted,

"I'm sure the chief meant nothing by it. Right chief?" The Captain glanced over at his Marine.

"I...no sir. Sorry." She shifted uncomfortably.

"Shepard, you know what I can do," Tali insisted, "you know I'll be able to help!"

Shepard was a bit taken aback by the enthusiasm, "but what about your pilgrimage?"

"The pilgrimage is supposed to teach us to put the greater good first. How can I let this go? Please Shepard, I won't let you down."

Anderson could see the red-head's resolve weaken, "Oh fine, you can come."

"This is your show Shepard, but I want to come along." Garrus stepped forward now as Tali dropped back, content now that she had the answer she wanted. Shepard turned to Garrus with a weirdly endearing look of utter bewilderment, "I need to help take Saren down."

"Oh no you don't." Satera huffed from one of the chairs, arms folded over her chest. The officer was the only one not surrounding the new Spectre, "we've got four cases on the go."

"I know you'll cover for me."

"I will not." She insisted.

"You will, you can't help yourself." He chuckled at her thunderous look before turning back to Shepard. If anything, the human looked even more confused, "Shepard, you know I'll have your back."

Biting her lip, Shepard just nodded. Garrus looked like he was about to hug her but caught himself with a cough from Satera before stepping back.

"I-" Wrex rumbled before Shepard interrupted him.

"Oh no, don't you try that 'got your back' spiel with me, boyo." She shook her head, "you're still in the doghouse for what you did in Chora's Den."

"I did what I had to do. The guy had it coming to him." The Mercenary shrugged.

"Man makes a good case" Garrus murmured before an elbow from Satera ended his contribution to the conversation.

"That's _not_ the point!" Shepard stared down the krogan again. She looked very much like a petulant child who had not gotten her way, Anderson felt a warm glow flow through his body, "You want to come along, you jump when I tell you to jump, piss when I tell you to piss and you shoot who I tell you to shoot, got it?"

Wrex was looking down at her, sizing up the human who had stood up to him more times in a day than anyone else had in six months. "And why should I?"

"Because if you don't," She was staring him down, "then so help me god, I'll make sure the only fighting you do in the future will be with a spoon. Got me?"

There was a moment of silence. Anderson could feel his hand twitching, descending to his hip. He had had trouble with krogan before.

Wrex burst out laughing,  
"You've got guts kid. I hope you get to keep them all inside your stomach. I definitely want to find out."

"Kid?" Shepard looked even more livid, though ironically, it only seemed to highlight the more childish aspect of her personality, "I am _not_a kid! Tali's a kid!"

"Gee thanks, Shepard." The quarian ribbed her. Kaidan, standing beside her, just smiled quietly. He already knew he was assured his place on the team.

"Alright," Shepard ran a hand through her hair with a tired sigh, "looks like I _am_ bringing all of you."

Anderson just chuckled, "Well, now that the important business is out of the way, Shepard, can I speak with you in private?"

"Yes sir. Alright everyone, you heard the Captain. Private time needed. Go down and have a drink in the bar." Shepard shooed her party towards the door. It was only once she was done and the door hissed shut that she exhaled deeply.

"Tiring?" he laughed at her expression.

"Dealing with that bunch? Hell yeah." She replied, "One or two of them on their own is fine. When you get all of them together..." She shook her head and pulled a face.

"Well, get used to it. There's not going to be a lot of downtime from here on in." The elder Londoner warned her. "So, how does it feel to be humanity's first Spectre?"

"Surreal." Shepard laughed, "I don't think it's quite sunk in yet. I mean...I don't _feel _any different and I don't _look_ any different, right?" Anderson just smiled fondly, "I only think it's going to hit home once people start actually calling me a Spectre to my face."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about." Anderson's smile dipped a little, "We've been investigating the recording that Tali found. According to our enquiries, the woman's voice is that of Matriarch Benezia."

"Who is she?" Shepard asked.

"One of the most senior members in the Asari government. A few months ago, she took a group of her followers and left Asari space. No one's seen her since."

"Saren."

"We don't know where she is but research has indicated that she has a daughter, Doctor Liara T'Soni, working out in the Traverse on a Prothean dig. We don't know where precisely but we do know she's in the Artemis Tau Cluster."

"Is she involved?"

"She's looking for Prothean ruins while Saren looks for something called 'the Conduit'. I don't know about you Shepard, but it sounds like a hell of a coincidence." He could tell that she agreed.

"She's my first port of call then."

Anderson nodded, pleased that he could at least give her some minor assistance before throwing her out into the galaxy. "There's more Shepard. What happened in the Council Chamber wasn't the end of the Spectre Induction. There's going to be a formal ceremony where you are officially inducted into the Spectres."

"A formal event?" Shepard seemed to consider that for a moment, "when?"

"Not for a few weeks. They need to make the arrangements and allow people to free up their schedules."

"Like who?"

"The Councillors themselves for a start. Ambassador Udina, a lot of the top Alliance brass, some other Citadel Defence officials, the Prime Minister and selected reporters from Earth to name a few."

Shepard's face blanched considerably, "the Prime Minister's coming?"

"Of course. This is a momentous event Shepard, one of the biggest in human history. He wants to be there. The details can be worked out but I do know that you'll be making a speech." Anderson spoke sympathetically.

"I have to make a speech? In front of the Prime Minister?" Shepard looked like she was going to faint.

"It's procedure." Anderson shrugged as if there was nothing that could be done, "but I've seen you talk. You're a natural. You'll do fine."

"Talking to a bunch of soldiers I've fought with is slightly different than a formal speech in front of the Prime Minister and the Councillors." She pointed out. Anderson just shrugged again.

"It's off in the future anyway. You have time to prepare for it." the Captain sighed, "I also have your official orders." He handed over one data pad, "find and bring Saren to justice."

"'Bring him to justice' gives me a lot of scope." Shepard pursed her lips, flicking over the documentation, reading from it, "Locate and secure the location of the artefact known as 'the Conduit.' If conditions are such that this cannot be achieved, then you are authorised to use any means necessary to prevent it falling into the wrong hands." She placed the pad down and looked quizzically back to Anderson, "Even though we don't know what it is, where it is or what it does?"

"You and I both know the best way to find the Conduit."

Shepard nodded, "Find Saren. Will I find someone to give me a lift then?"

He did not smile, not when he knew what was coming. "I also have the specifications for your new ship." He pulled out a second data pad and handed it to her.

Shepard accepted it eagerly. He knew that, of everything, the idea of finally getting her own ship would have appealed to the Commander. Udina had all but promised her one, and he knew that the first human Spectre had to be given a human vessel. The idea of her travelling in a ship built by one of the other nations was an unthinkable PR disaster. Anyway, she was long overdue one.

If only it didn't have to be like this...

He already knew what her reaction would be. As soon as she read the title on the top of the blue pad, her smile dropped. He already knew what it said.

It said 'SSV _Normandy'._

"I...don't understand," she said slowly, looking up at her Commander, her Captain. Anderson could not look her in the eye.

"Why not? She's quick, quiet and you already know the crew. She's the perfect ship for a Spectre."

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

"I'm getting old Shepard. I'm not at the same level as I used to be. You are chasing down the greatest Spectre ever to live. You need every edge you can get. The _Normandy_ will give you an edge."

She was staring at him, pad down by her side and no longer important. Anderson tried to avoid her gaze, he knew that even he was not immune to that skill she seemed to have of looking through just about anyone,

"No...no there's more to it than that. What's wrong sir?"

Closing his eyes, Anderson cursed his XO. Why could she never just leave things be? She was waiting for an answer and he knew that nothing short of the truth would satisfy her. He had kept it quiet for two decades but, strangely, he found he wanted to tell her. He wanted her to know,

"I was in your shoes twenty years ago Shepard. They were considering me for the Spectres."

There was a long silence. Anderson could tell that it was not the news Shepard had been expecting. Despite this, there were no angry outbursts, no rages or rants. She just took a moment to digest the news before speaking in a calm, if low voice,  
"What happened?"

"Remember that mission I told you about? The mission with Saren?" She nodded, "well, there was more to it than just the assignment. Ambassador Goyle was pushing, like Udina, for a human Spectre. Following my work prior to the mission, she recommended me. Saren had been on the same trail and the Council attached Saren to evaluate me. In essence Shepard. He was to me what Nihlus was to be to you."

"I see," Shepard replied before another long silence settled over them, "Saren made sure they rejected you?"

Anderson nodded, "Must have made his day. He tore the facility apart, compromised the mission and managed to pin it on me."

"Why didn't you tell me, sir?" Now she let some emotion creep into her voice but it was not the one he would have wanted. Anger he could deal with, anger was easy. The emotion he saw was pain. The hurt was clear in her sapphire eyes.

"What was I supposed to say?" his voice was a little louder than he would have liked, "that I could have been a Spectre but I blew it? I failed Shepard. It's not something that I'm proud of. I was given the chance to lead humanity's charge to the Council and I let them down." He could feel that pain flowing back, breaking through the wounds he had thought healed over long ago, the anger, the disappointment, "That's why you have to succeed."

"Is that why you recommended me sir? Because of what happened twenty years ago?" she challenged, arms folded over her chest.

Anderson's eyes widened in shock. Of all the things he had been expecting, that was not one of them. It brought back the memories of his argument with Udina, but it also brought back the anger, hand in hand with a real raw hurt. Was she truly suggesting that he had thrown her in for the Spectres because of his own failure? Did she really think he would be so petty, so small-minded to use her like that?

Trembling a little, Anderson spoke through clenched teeth, willing himself to remain calm,  
"Of course not. I recommended you because you are the best fucking soldier this military has. Quiet." She had been about to open her mouth but fell into a surly silence at his order, "the Alliance doesn't recognise it and the Council hasn't seen it yet but I know. _That's_ why I suggested you, not because of some grudge from two decades ago. Because I know you can do the job and you are going to be bloody _magnificent_when you do. Understand?"

She was looking at him differently now. He could still the pain of betrayal but now something else had joined it, guilt.  
"Yes sir." She was chewing her bottom lip, breaking her gaze to stare at the floor in shame, "I'm...sorry Captain. I didn't mean...I'm sorry."

He could tell she meant it.  
"I know." He smiled encouragingly at her and she returned it hesitantly, slowly. In that moment, the warmth returned to his very soul. Only Shepard could do that. When she smiled, it gave a broken, cynical old man a reason to keep going. He felt his arms twitch, an instinctive impulse just to hug her but he refrained. Now was not the time.

"What happens to you now sir?"

"Naval Attaché to the Embassy." He avoided, barely, grimacing at the title, "it gives me an excuse to hang around here and keep an eye on your progress. Come on, you have a few hours to get used to your new ship." he urged, changing the subject and trying to inject some casual lightness into his voice, "most of the crew have been informed. You've just got to let your party know."

"Oh please don't call them that, sir." She groaned, "they're bad enough as it is without you giving them ideas."

* * *

_This is just...wrong._

Shepard stepped up to the cockpit of the Normandy and looked around. It was all so familiar. The CIC was still the same, it was still the same faces working on the same consoles in the same dim light, changing the same engine noises. Hell, even the sound of her boots on the metal floor sounded the same. So why did it feel so different? What had changed?

She knew exactly what had changed. Anderson wasn't here. He had said that he was stepping down to give her the ship, sacrificing perhaps the final field assignment of his career to give her this chance but she knew there was more. Udina had virtually told her during a quick briefing. The ship was being taken from Anderson, like it or not.

"Commander," Shepard snapped out of her musings to find that she had reached the cockpit itself, Joker twisting in his seat to look up at her, as scruffy as ever, "you going to keep walking? I mean, I won't complain but the glass might."

"What? Oh." She had been so preoccupied she had nearly fallen into Joker's lap, "sorry. Just thinking over some things."

"Yeah, I bet" The pilot nodded, "I heard about the Captain. Great reward for his career right?"

Shepard shook her head, "This is his ship. Feels like I'm stealing it from him."

"Yeah, Captain got screwed but nothing you could have done about it. We can get back at Udina later. Maybe write something rude on his office wall. We're all behind you Commander. Probably the only person we would be...except maybe Hackett...or Jesus..."

Shepard resisted the urge to snort, "do you mind? I'm trying to be depressed here."

"Sorry Commander." Joker grinned, "Comm's open if you want to say anything. Crew are standing by."

"Yeah, might as well." She sighed, leaning forward to activate the ship wide broadcasting system and taking a breath;

"This is Commander Shepard speaking. We have our orders; find Saren before he finds the Conduit. I'm not going to lie to you crew, this mission isn't going to be easy. What's important is that it's _our_ mission. The Council has given us their trust, shown us that they believe in us and we are not going to let them down. Saren knows that we are coming, He has an Army of Geth at his disposal and a head start. He's probably feeling good about his chances. But he hasn't bet on the _Normandy_. On you. You are the best that the Alliance has to offer, the finest men and women that Earth has produced. For too long have we been on the outside, too long have we been kept apart. Now it's our turn. It's our turn to step up. It's our turn to show the galaxy just what we can do. There are lives depending on us, not just on the human colonies of the Traverse but the colonies of every other Citadel race. Saren must be stopped and I know we'll be the ones to stop him. We'll make sure he spends the rest of his days regretting the moment he heard the name _Normandy._" She flicked off the intercom.

"Well said Commander," Joker was sombre, "The Captain would be proud."

"Anderson believes in this crew. We can't fail." Shepard turned and headed back towards the CIC, a fresh determination welling up inside her,

_Anderson believes in _me_. I won't let him down._

_I'm coming for you Saren._


	21. Chapter 21

AN: Sorry for taking so long to upload this new chapter. University was not being kind to me, nor were other certain other problems that I will not bore you with. Anyways, this is a bit of a short one but enjoy!

* * *

Kaiden checked the data pad in his hand as he moved through the ship. He had checked and double checked the information to make absolutely sure of its accuracy. He knew it was right and yet something dragged his gaze to it one more time just to make sure. Maybe it was the mission, maybe it was who they were chasing. Or maybe it was because he wanted to make sure it was right for Shepard.

'Why?' He thought to himself, 'She's still the same woman. She's still Lauren Shepard. The only difference is that she's now the Commanding Officer of your ship...and the first human Spectre...and the focal point of the entire Alliance and the hot topic for debate throughout Citadel Space...'

Oh right.

_That's _why he was making sure.

The dark skinned marine standing guard outside her door snapped to attention as he saw Kaidan approaching. The Lieutenant returned the gesture,

"Alright if I go in, Taylor?" Kaidan asked.

"Yes sir, the Commander is expecting you, sir." He replied without so much as twitching, eyes straight ahead.

The doors hissed open as he approached. The Captain's Office was cramped, but then so was the rest of the ship. There was at least room for a double bed and a tiny desk with a terminal mounted on the wall. Shepard was sitting at the desk, turning sideways in her chair so she could look at the two people with her. Even from behind, Kaidan recognised the balding crown of Pressly and the tightly wound bun of Ashley.

Shepard was speaking, her tone civil but cautionary,

"-I do appreciate your point but what do you want me to do about it? The ship is small enough as it is, I can hardly keep them in the storage lockers."

"Ma'am, this ship is the most advanced vessel in the Alliance Navy. The technology we have here is top secret. Should we really be letting them wander around accessing the systems? Garrus has been poking around in the maintenance cycles already." Pressly persisted, his tone betraying his unhappiness.

"What is he going to tell the turians?" Shepard asked her Navigator with a raised eyebrow, "the Hierarchy helped design and build this ship don't forget. I doubt he could tell them much that they don't already know."

"What about Wrex?" Ashley picked up where Pressly had left off. Kaidan spent a moment silently watching, knowing that none of them had noticed his entrance. He could wait until they were finished or, more properly, he could turn around and leave until they were finished what was obviously a very private debate.

Instead, he found himself speaking up, clearing his throat with a gentle cough. At first, he thought they might not have heard it, an assertion shattered when they all turned to watch him,

"Uh...if I may," he spoke in the same quiet voice, "Wrex doesn't strike me as the sort of person who would download the specifications of a military craft. He probably wouldn't even recognise them if he saw them."

"Tali-"

"I trust Tali explicitly," Shepard cut across Pressly in a tone that suggested it was not even open to debate, "like I said, I can appreciate your concerns but this is a multilateral mission. You're going to have to work with them. Like it or not. Do I make myself clear?"

"Aye ma'am." Pressly saluted stiffly and brushed past Kaidan. Ashley looked like she had something further to say before she too saluted and left.

Kaidan waited until the door shut before turning on his friend,

"Problem?"

"Nah," She waved it away, "they're just doing their job. They'll be professional." She exhaled softly, "what have you got for me?"

Kaidan had almost forgotten about the report in his hand, he quickly handed it to the Commander,

"Data feed from the Comm Buoy in the area. It states that a ship registered to the Asari homeworld dropped in a couple of weeks ago. It jumped out again two days later."

Shepard read the data, eyes skimming over the glowing azure surface, "Any idea what planet it hit?"

"Joker and I have narrowed it down to one possibility; Therum. There's a specification in the report." He waited patiently until Shepard had brought it up, "pretty arid world. Home to a small mining colony. Has a population barely into triple figures. Notable for several large Prothean ruins and little else."

"Sounds perfect." Shepard nodded and set the report down, "good work Kaidan. That was much quicker than I thought it would be."

"Thank you ma'am." Kaidan felt a warm glow at the praise, "if there's nothing else ma'am. I'll return to my duties."

"Just one thing; thanks Kaidan, for helping me out there." She nodded towards the door, "glad to see not everyone's thrown up the barricades."

"No ma'am." Kaidan shook his head, smiling at the very thought, "I can understand their viewpoint. Aliens were the enemy after all right? How many vids and novels did you see where humanity nearly gets wiped out?"

She chuckled, a throaty musical sound that made him smile. He couldn't even really explain why, "hundreds. That why you joined? Secure man's future in space?"

"Nah...well...maybe. Maybe there was some idealism at first but after Brain Camp...sorry, Biotic Acclamation and Training, I had an epiphany. No one person can change the galaxy and it's silly to try. All I want to do is some good, to make a difference."

Shepard gazed at him knowingly, "I think there's still some of the Romanticism in you."

He couldn't help but laugh, "okay yeah. Maybe a little bit."

"I didn't know you went to Brain Camp though." She leant forward, interested, "you'll tell me about it sometime?"

"Aye ma'am." Kaidan found he was looking forward to that conversation. He offered her a salute, "I think I'll head back to the CIC and run a few scans for Geth. I'll ask Tali to help."

She nodded, smiling warmly, "thanks again Kaidan."

"Any time." he saluted as he left. As the door shut behind him, he found that a small bubble of optimism had welled up inside him. He had mentioned BAaT to other people before and usually it went by without notice but the Commander...she had seemed genuinely interested.

So long as he didn't have to talk about that one event...

Feeling his bubble pop at the memory, Kaidan sighed and tried to focus his mind back on his work. It was an old ghost, long dead. Except he might have just stirred it up...

Brilliant.


	22. Chapter 22

Therum was _hot._

It was really the first thing that Shepard noticed about the ugly, orange landscape on which she found herself. Even within her double armoured shell, the Mako Infantry Fighting Vehicle and then her personal armour, she could feel the heat, sticky and unpleasant. The journey from the Citadel to the tiny outpost on the edge of Alliance space had not taken long, but once they arrived, she had to ask herself why in the hell would anyone ever want to call such a wasteland home. There were no trees that she could see, no birds, not even a cloud in the sky –if only because all the space was taken by great plumes of volcanic smoke. All she could see stretching off in every direction were mounds of rock and great pools of lava.

"Remind me to take my next shore leave here." She remarked to Kaidan, who was sitting in the engineering position beside her in the Mako. The Lieutenant smiled patiently as he input a few commands into the console in front of him.

"Not much in the way of beaches...or towns...or 'yknow...people..." Ashley, sitting in a seat between the duo chimed in, playing with various buttons on her own console. She was manning the turret of the 6-wheeled craft. Sporting a 155mm mass accelerator cannon and a co-axial machine gun, it provided a real kick. Just as well, because in Shepard's experience it drove like a mule and wasn't winning any friends amongst the aliens just introduced to it.

"Urgh," Wrex growled, not for the first time since boarding, squashed up in a very uncomfortable looking position, "you call this a seat?"

"Sorry Wrex," Kaidan glanced over his shoulder as Shepard gunned the engine, the vibrations running through their very skeletons as they set off with the crunch of compressed rock under their tires, "they didn't design it with krogan in mind."

"No shit." He huffed.

"Doesn't seem like it was designed for _anybody_…" Garrus was leaning out of his chair to avoid being crushed by Wrex's shoulder, "unless they're about…six."

"And what are these seats made from? Granite?" Tali shifted uncomfortably.

"Yeah, okay, we can all take the piss out of human engineering when we get back." Shepard cut over the chatter before flicking on her communicator, "M-1 to _Normandy_, we have touchdown. Can you confirm location of dig site? I'm having trouble pinpointing it with all this volcanic activity."

"Sending you the co-ordinates now Commander," Pressly's voice bounced around the cramped compartment. "be warned Commander, we have detected Geth signatures inbound."

"Wow, I'm really surprised. Not." The Commander rolled her eyes, "thanks Pressly. Keep an eye out."

"Understood."

"You got that thing warmed up Ash?" Shepard didn't turn to Ashley, she was too busy concentrating on not bouncing them into a lava pit.

"Ready to go Skipper." Ashley confirmed.

"Good. We are going to need it…"

* * *

"Good shot Ash!" Shepard called as yet another geth trooper disintegrated in a ball of fire, helpless to stop the progress of the rumbling vehicle as it wound its way along the narrow, hazardous tracks that had been built around the lava pits.

"Meh," Tali shrugged, "it was impressive, but not as good as when you smashed that group Shepard. Did you see how far they went?"

"Shepard didn't actually mean that," Kaidan chuckled, "she just couldn't find the brakes."

"Alright, you're on a warning Lieutenant. One more smartass remark about my driving and you'll be walking back." Shepard frowned at her instruments, "we're only a click away. Everyone get ready to…" Shepard trailed off as they turned another corner, "…oh bollocks."

The Mako halted at the foot of a large cliff. Stretching up a considerable distance, the surface was almost completely sheer, too high to use the boosters. There were small footholds dotted over the surface but not enough to get a grip. It was obvious that there was only one way around it.

"Alright, everyone out," Shepard sighed, leaning back in her seat, "we do this the old fashioned way."

"I'm sorry?" Tali sounded taken aback. "Are we not driving up it?"

"_Driving_up it?" Shepard turned to look at her in disbelief, "it's a tank, not a mountain goat. The Mako can handle a lot of things but I think a sheer cliff is just out of its league a bit. Come on, everyone out. There's a rope we can use."

As they all gathered at the base of the cliff and looked up, Shepard saw it was not as bad as she had originally feared. Still too far for the Mako jets, but someone should be able to scale it in 10 or 15 minutes.

"Right, give me the rope." Shepard handed her rifle over to Kaidan and removed her equipment save for the armour itself and the pistol on her lip.

"What? You can't be serious," the biotic looked horrified, "you can't climb that. What if there are geth at the top?"

"And what if you fall?" Ashley's arms were folded over her chest, obviously unhappy. "You should let me go."

"Uh…N7," She pointed to the insignia on her chest, "just watch my back. I'll throw the rope down when I get to the top. If there are geth waiting then…well…" She shrugged, "…I guess you can catch me."

Throwing the rope over her shoulder, she approached the rock. She spent a few moments surveying the cliff, plotting a quick route in her head before taking a final sigh to steady herself and beginning her ascent. The rock was warm under hand, just on the right side of bearable, and Shepard found that the unpleasant heat was even more unpleasant outside the air-conditioned interior of the Mako. The physical exercise certainly wasn't helping. She could feel her muscles straining every time she hauled herself up another couple of feet and the fetid air was robbing her of badly needed oxygen. She glanced up to see she had made it most of the way, but the holds were getting smaller and more fragile. She was starting to pant now, forced to stop every couple of minutes just to wipe the beads of sweat out of her eyes.

Reaching up, she grabbed the next hold and immediately knew she had made a mistake. As soon as she tried to put any weight on it, the little branch of rock gave way. Feeling her whole body go light, Shepard grabbed the last firm hold and prayed it would arrest her fall. It did, just, sending a jarring through her arms. A snap told her that she had best move on. She did not have time to let her heartbeat or her breathing settle again. She reached out and found a second grip. She held on to it as her current one finally gave up and fell away.

"Shepard!" Kaidan's panicked voice echoed in her ear, "are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, just making sure you were still watching," Shepard puffed, mouth bone dry, looking up again. She was just a few feet from the top. Now she had something else to worry about. If there were geth at the top then she would be a sitting duck, armed with only a pistol and utterly exhausted.

With a final effort, she launched herself up and over the lip of the cliff. Arms heavy and muscles aching, but her body glowed as she concentrated her strength, hand outstretched and ready for any threat.

There was nothing there.

Shepard blinked at the unexpected -but very welcome- respite. Maybe the geth hadn't expected them to get up the cliff. She tied one end of the rope to a firm looking stalagmite and threw the other over the edge, waving from the top to let them know she'd made it. She could have used the radio of course, but she just didn't care that point.

It took around fifteen minutes for everyone to climb the rope and Shepard used the time well. She kept watch at the top, gulping down vast quantities of water from her rations and just letting the feeling come back into her arms. Once everyone was ready, they wound the rope up around the outcrop and set off again. On the move, Wrex came up front so he was beside Shepard, weapon out. The human Spectre had been given her rifle and equipment back and was holding it steady, in spite of how tired she was.

"That was a gutsy move Shepard. I'm impressed. I wouldn't have done it."

"I know," Shepard nodded, pleased that she could at least talk normally again, "that's why I did it in the first place."

'And I hope I never have to do it again...'

After another ten minutes of walking, they were approaching a small mining facility. Shepard recognised the buildings and the typical circular entrance, the sort she had seen hundreds of in the past. This was where the dig had been located so this was, in theory, where their Prothean expert was hiding.

"This stinks." Wrex growled.

"Now you know how we felt in that Mako." Tali sniffed.

"I…don't think that's what he meant…." Garrus explained, bemused.

Shepard had to agree. No geth here either, at the entrance to the mine? When they had thrown so many at them before? Wrex was right, it stank okay.

"Everyone keep your guard up. I want eyes on the tops." She signalled with her hand, rifle raised.

Before anyone could even attempt to speak, there came the roar of an engine from overhead. Shepard looked up to see a geth ship, bug-like in appearance, making a bombing run on them.

"Cover!" She yelled as the party scattered, diving behind any cover they could find. Tali had ended up beside her, while the others were spread out in a haphazard semi-circular formation, taking whatever protection they could. Shepard peaked through the rust-hole in the wall she was hiding behind to see that the craft had released a number of objects. They did not look like bombs…

With a series of thuds that made her teeth chatter, Shepard watched as several geth troopers unfolded themselves around…_oh shit…_

"Guys? They have an Armature." she called to the group.

"Brilliant." Garrus groaned in reply.

The hulking leviathan towered over the soldiers that flanked it, a four legged tank painted in the same battleship grey as all other geth, even possessing the same curved head and same single, glowing blue eye as its smaller brethren. Already the head was swivelling, seeking targets while its support fanned out.

"Take it down!" Shepard ducked out from cover and peppered the Armature across the 'face' with rifle fire. She could see the shields glowing blue as her shots struck them, leaving the synthetic behemoth untouched. She watched as it brought it's legs together, bracing itself. She dived back for cover, just as a large, glowing blue ball passed over her head and took out a sizeable chunk of the building behind her.

"That went well." She remarked casually to Tali, crouching beside her.

"It's shields are too strong for rifles." the young quarian called over the sound of gunfire, as Shepard's party began firing on the smaller and much more killable grunts around it, "at least at this range. We need to get closer."

The ground trembled as yet another projectile erupted behind them. Shepard cursed God, the universe and whatever other forces had seen fit to put a cliff between them and their own tank.

"Any volunteers?" Shepard asked dryly over the radio. Unsurprisingly, no one spoke up.

"Just me then? Alright, here's what we're going to do. Ash, Wrex, Garrus; lay down some suppression on the escort, keep them getting involved."

There were murmurs of confirmation in her earpiece.

"Kaidan, see if you can distract it. Biotics, tech I don't care. Just keep it busy."

"Aye ma'am!"

"Tali, you're a geth expert right?"

"Yes?" she sounded curious.

"Think you could hack one over to our side?"

"I could try..."

"Good, give it something else to shoot at. Alright everyone ready? On my mark. Now!"

As soon as the word had left her mouth, she heard the barks of rifles from all around as the three heavies of her team began pouring burning, blue death into the geth troops. Shredded and smashed, many fell before the rest wisely chose to seek cover. The Armature turned, the deaths of its allies compelling it to assist.

Right as it went to fire however, turning it's great head-turret to face the threat, it found itself hit from the side by a rather large boulder. Though again the shields flashed angrily to protect their charge, the thing visibly stumbled under the impact, while it swivelled to detect the threat. Kaidan was still ducking behind his cover, eyes closed and body glowing as he focused on lifting rubble and tossing it at piece after piece.

With the tank otherwise distracted, Shepard took her chance. Glancing up, she ran her experienced eye over it to find a weak spot. There was one she could see, the join between the 'neck' and the body was not armoured, evidently relying on shields to compensate. If she could get close enough...

...it only meant running across twenty feet of open, vulnerable ground...

_Right. Here goes nothing..._

As she leapt over her cover and began to run, she heard Tali chime up over the radio.  
"Shepard, I did it! I overwhelmed the security on one of the geth and isolated it from the network!"

"Great! Which one?" Shepard glanced over to where the geth were still pinned by her team's vicious and relentless fire, never slowing her pace, driven by the absolute certainty that she was dead if it turned on her.

"The grey one."  
"They're _all_ grey!"

The question became moot just seconds later as one of the geth troopers popped up and began to fire on the Armature. It was silenced in seconds by it's companions, outer casing torn to shreds by the close range pulse fire. It had served as another distraction though and Shepard was getting closer.

The Armature turned.

_Shit!_

She saw the blue eye fixed on her, a remorseless, cold gaze. She saw the legs coming together. Think! She had seconds! Glowing blue, she reached over to one of the metal panels lying nearby and threw it towards the Armature, spinning wildly, just as the 'eye' grew to its most intense shade of colour, crackling with energy, ready to discharge.

The sheet appeared just as it fired, inches from the shot. The projectile erupted in the face of the tank, showering it in electricity, making it stumble again while the twisted and broken metal panel flew off into the sky.

"Shepard! You took down its shields!" Tali's voice was strained, tense.

Shepard did not reply. She leapt forward the last few feet, sliding over the loose shingle of the quarry, letting it carry her under the stunned geth. Pointing her weapon upwards at the weak spot, she fired. The bullets tore through the cable and metal like a knife through butter, geth engineering no match for Alliance fire power. Shepard was showered in pieces of metal fluttering down like snowflakes while silvery fluid spilled forth like blood. She summoned up all her biotic strength and channelled it through her body, focusing it through her arm, curling her hand into a ball of pure, biotic power. With a yell of effort, she lashed up with a fist full of what looked like lighting. The Armature jerked and twitched as her amplified strength turned its circuits to dust. With a final roll, Shepard ducked out from under it just as the dense synthetic crashed to the ground, the headlight having dimmed away to leave an empty husk.

Silence reigned on the battlefield, the remaining geth having been finished off by the team. They approached Shepard slowly, hardly daring to believe she was still alive as she sat on the ground, propping her back against her kill.

She looked up at their disbelieving faces,  
"What?" She asked, almost defensively.

"Shepard," Garrus blinked, mandibles flicking madly, "where in the Alliance military manual is _that?_"

"Ha! It was a good kill! Worthy of a Krogan," Wrex seemed more amused than shocked. Kaidan's face was pale.

"I was just practising turian discretion, Garrus. Nothing to be worried about." Shepard waved away their concern as she hauled herself to her feet. The turian looked confused, though Ashley and Kaidan cracked knowing smiles.

"What are you two smiling at?" Garrus looked from one human to the other, "have I missed something?"

"Don't worry about it." Shepard checked her weapon, heart pumping furiously and her body swimming in every sort of natural high imaginable, "C'mon. The Doctor's meant to be in here. Judging from the geth out here, we're going to have a welcome party when we get inside."

With a nod, each member of the team raised their weapons and advanced on the mine entrance.


	23. Chapter 23

"Boy, the Protheans sure built these places to last. Looks like a lava flow went through here." Ashley whistled in appreciation.

"Yeah, luckily the geth weren't built half as well." Shepard kicked over the remains of a geth infiltrator, the sniper rifle clattering away as she checked the eye. As she had hoped, it was dull. Not that it was  
surprising, given that half its chest had been blown away by a well aimed shotgun blast. She had, as usual, been proven totally correct about the facility. Endless tunnels of rock patrolled by geth turrets, soldiers and traps. It had been slow going at first, every step forward cautious in case of trap or ambush. In spite of the geth's best efforts though, no one had suffered too much.

They were now faced with some of the Prothean technology that Doctor T'Soni was no doubt here to investigate. At the end of the tunnels, alongside a much more recent lift, was a wall of pure white material that looked as fresh today as it no doubt had when the place had been built. The cleanliness of the structure had been the first surprise. The second surprise had been that it was active. Shepard peered down over the edge of the walkway and saw that the wall stretched all the way down to the bottom. There were horizontal ovals of blue energy, with readings off the chart on her omni-tool. The Doctor was no nowhere to be seen at the top, so evidently she was somewhere at the bottom.

"Let's go." Shepard signalled and her group piled into the single transport down. They kept their weapons ready during the quick, bumpy and grinding descent, now too used to geth surprises to be caught out by any lulls in the action. This was proved right as the platform slowed at the bottom of the shaft.

It was as they reached the bottom that the geth sprang out. Shepard counted a dozen of them appearing from behind the terrain; a large cavern that had been acting as a small base camp. The tents clustered at the back confirmed it as did the lockers full of equipment and the massive tube-shaped machine that sat in the middle of it.

As shots smacked against the wall behind them, Shepard's team began to fan out, letting off shots as they ran. The barks of the weapons seemed to grow in the confined space, growing until they seemed to signal the launch of a bombardment from the heavens themselves. Shepard ran for a nearby boulder, throwing herself against it as she heard the hiss of projectiles whistling through the air around her, the hum as a few struck her shields. Ducking out from cover, she tore through a nearby geth, the synthetic falling to the ground with an angry hiss. More geth were falling all around the cavern, victim to her team's superior fire power. Others were surrounded by a blue cloud that carried them into walls or the roof and yet others exploded in a shower of sparks. To either side, her party fired burst after burst, illuminating the murky darkness with a rainbow of angry yellow of muzzle flashes, serene blue glow of biotics and the fierce orange glare of omni-tools. Within moments, the fight was over, the geth well and truly smashed.

"Check them." Shepard ordered, "look for other ways into the cavern." The group nodded and fanned out, weapons raised.

"Uh...hello?"

Shepard whipped around, weapon raised. She lowered it almost immediately as her eyes set upon the most peculiar sight. Behind one of the Prothean barriers there was an asari, dressed in casual clothing floating in mid air with her arms outstretched, as if appealing to the gods. She was surrounded by a separate bubble of energy and remaining entirely still. Shepard could only stare.

"Uh...could you help me? Please?" the asari pleaded.

"Are you Doctor Liara T'Soni?" Shepard asked, if only because she was not quite sure what else to say.

The woman looked surprised, then confused, "why yes. Who are you?"

"My name is Commander Shepard, I'm with the Human Alli-I mean...I'm with the Spectres..."

"Spectres? Alliance? What do you want with me?" the Doctor sounded confused, and scared. Shepard had not been expecting the daughter of Matriarch Benezia to be anything like...well...like this.

Suddenly, the solid conviction of guilt she had been carrying since the Citadel seemed much less...sound.

"Have you been in contact with your mother, Matriarch Benezia?" She asked.

"Benezia? No, I have not spoken to her in years. Can you please let me out?"

Shepard hesitated, running her trained eye over the barrier, "how do we get you out?"

"There is a console here that you can use to deactivate this status field," Though the woman remained involuntarily still, she flicked her eyes over to a panel just behind her. "All you have to do is get through the barrier field which is...impossible..." she trailed off.

"How did you get into the field in the first place?" Shepard did not bother asking how she was supposed to press a button behind an impenetrable forcefield.

"I was working here on the Prothean ruins when Geth appeared. Can you believe that? Geth beyond the Veil!"

"No kidding." Shepard glanced down at her feet where one of said geth was lying, quietly smouldering.

"Well, I hid in here, away from them. Unfortunately, I must have pressed something I shouldn't and...well...I'm stuck. The Geth were trying to get in without success. Watch out Commander, they have a krogan with them."

"That's okay, we have one too. Now don't panic." the human tried to sound encouraging and hide the fact she had no idea what their next move was, "Kaidan! Garrus! On me!"

Once the two men had joined her and she had brought them up to speed, she asked the burning question,  
"So, how are we going to get through to her?"

"Explosives?" Garrus suggested, mandibles flicking, "if we damage the boundary around the field, we might disrupt it."

Kaidan shook his head, "This place has survived lava flows running through it, I doubt our explosives will harm it much. This is Prothean engineering after all."

"Well there has to be some way through it," Shepard tapped the side of her helmet in frustration, turning to watch the rest of her team, "doesn't need to be as discrete as explosives, if there's a more subtle...way..." she trailed off as her gaze fell on Tali and Ashley, clustered around the control panel of the big, black, tubular device. She grinned as a sudden idea struck her, "...actually, screw that. Let's be as discreet as a turian. Tali!" Shepard was gone, jumping over the railing and approaching the machine, leaving Garrus and Kaidan staring, "is that a mining laser?"

"Yeah. Why?" the young engineer looked over at her commander, no doubt wondering why she was smiling.

"I've an idea. Garrus. Kaidan. You might want to take a step back."

Within minutes, the mining laser roared into life, a massive, blinding beam of wrathful energy burying itself into the wall of the Prothean structure, ignorant and uncaring of the history and heritage it ate through. The beam lasted just a few seconds but that was all that was needed. Once the dust had cleared, Shepard could see they had blown a hole clean through the wall, barrier gone a level below Dr. T'Soni.

"Prothean engineering my ass." She chuckled at Kaidan's expression as the team headed through the newly carved 'tunnel'. On the other side they found a lift shaft, which seemed to stretch up into the distance. As she examined the control panel though, she found that the interface, glowing green rather than the traditional orange, was suspiciously familiar. It took just a moment to work out which button brought them a floor up.

There, facing away from them and trapped in the same position, was Doctor T'Soni. Shepard approached with Tali, the others kept a watch on the shaft, in case more Geth had decided to follow them.

"Alright, which button do we press to get you out?" Shepard examined the control panel, again finding the layout much more understandable than perhaps she should.

The pained response from the asari soon diverted her attention though,  
"What did you do?" She asked in the sort of voice Shepard might have used if she had just seen someone being executed, "these ruins are 50,000 years old! They've survived earthquakes and eruptions! Was there no other way in than to blow the wall away?"

"Well, we could have dug our way around," Shepard frowned, rather annoyed at the lack of gratitude, "if you didn't mind waiting a couple of weeks and the Geth all shut down. Other than that no. Not really. What button do I press?" She turned her attention back to the control.

"Third one from the right on the top row."

"Alright." Shepard tapped it. She heard the fizzle of dissipating energy followed by a dull thud. Turning, eyebrow raised, she saw the blue-skinned woman picking herself up off the floor.

"Sorry," the Commander smiled apologetically, "I thought it was going to be more...graceful..."

"I am fine Commander Shepard." the Doctor brushed herself down. Now that she was out of the bubble, Shepard could see that she was disarmingly young looking, with a soft, rounded face, dark blue skin, green eyes and freckles over the bridge of her nose. She was actually quite cute.

A rumble from deep within the cavern brought her back to reality with a thump.

"This whole cave network is unstable. The mining laser has probably triggered a seismic event." Dr. T'Soni looked accusingly at Shepard, hands on hips.

"Heh. Oops."

"Shepard! This whole place is about to come down around our ears!" Wrex called from the entrance to the room.

"He's right. Now might be a good time to leg it." Ashley added her agreement for this plan.

"Alright everyone, back on the lift. Let's move it!" As they ran for the lift, the Spectre activated the communicator, "Normandy, this is ground team. We need extraction now!"

"Roger Commander. ETA ten minutes." Pressly's voice echoed in their helmets.

"Ten minutes is too long." Kaidan sighed.

"If I die in here, I'll kill all of them." Wrex growled.

The tremors were getting worse as they shot up the levels, passing more and more of the blue barriers. Shepard could feel a growing sense of dread in her gut, the sense of anticipation that the top level would be similarly blocked off and they would be trapped, buried under a million tons of rock as the wounded mountain took its revenge.

By the time they reached the top level, it was rocking so badly that it was like being on a ship in the middle of a storm. The constant rolling of the platform was forcing them to shift constantly just to stop from falling over. Shepard was holding on to the Doctor, stiff and weak after her imprisonment, concentrating on stopping her falling when she heard Garrus in her ear.

"Uh...Shepard..."

She looked up and swore.

There had to be a dozen geth lining each side of the platform, weapons raised and ready. The platform they had used to ascend had no cover, aside from the control panel, they were totally exposed.

Standing between the two rows of soldiers was a krogan, bulky and yellow skinned, cradling a shotgun with the casual ease she might have held a pistol with, red eyes fixed on the party.

"Surrender!" He called out, "or don't! That'll be more fun."

Shepard looked at him in disbelief, "In case you hadn't noticed, this whole place is about to come down."

He laughed, "Exhilarating, isn't it?"

"It's really not."

"Bah, you humans. No fun." He waved her dismissal away, "Saren wants the asari. Surrender her now."

Shepard glanced at the Doctor. Her eyes were wide and frightened,  
"She'll stay with us if it's all the same to you." the Commander answered.

"Fine...just makes it more..." the krogan trailed off as his gaze flicked to the left, "Wrex? Urdnot Wrex?"

"Hello Grung." Wrex growled.

The other mercenary burst out laughing, "and I thought you were dead! This has just made my day. Not only do I get paid for killing the asari, I get to kill the great Urdnot Wrex as well! Any last words, oh great one?"

Before Wrex could open his mouth, the entire chamber lurched violently to one side. Everyone stumbled, including the geth as the room filled with the creaking and groaning of rock tearing and parting, breaking unwillingly from itself. A massive fragment, shaped like a spearhead smashed into the side of the platform on top of half the geth, sending a shower of debris whistling through the air and launching the entire team into the air.

Shepard threw out her hands and managed to cushion her fall, rolling over to see that their ambushers were in chaos. Half the geth were gone, ground to paste under their ancient smiter, while most of the rest were pinned to the wall by spears of rock, still and lifeless, proof of nature's dominance over the infantile synthetics. Grung was staggering back to his feet, his shotgun on the other side of the room.

Without thinking, without even considering it, Shepard charged him.

Grung saw her coming at the last minute and, with a battle cry, he threw a clenched fist at her. Shepard ducked low, allowing the ball of steel to pass overhead, allowing her speed to carry her behind the krogan. She lashed out and punched at the back of his knee, feeling it buckle under her augmented strength. He roared in pain and tried to kick at her, but Shepard was too fast. She jumped back, hands up in a defensive stance.

Rock was starting to fall from the roof like a hailstorm, drumming off her shields and armour, making it hard to see her foe. As she peered through the storm, he appeared, face contorted in rage as he threw another punch. Shepard threw up an arm instinctively to block but even then, the force of the punch threw her back off balance. He charged again. Falling onto her back, Shepard threw a ball of biotic energy at him which sent the krogan sailing helplessly over her head, a victim of his own momentum as he slammed into the side of the chamber. Before he could touch the ground again, a second boulder smashed him to the floor, the squelching sound making even the human soldier wince.

Larger rocks were falling, her team staggering and swaying their way across the platform. Breathing heavily from the brief fight, Shepard waited at the entrance as one, by one, the members of her team made it through the marginally more stable cell beyond, jinking wildly to avoid the hammers diving down against the anvil of the platform. To her elation, the blue barrier was gone, the desired breech finally achieved by a mountain that had thrown everything else at the ancient ruins. Tumbling debris bigger than a Mako was being loosed from the roof as her team sprinted for the exit.

"Go! Go! Go!" Shepard called, pushing each in the back as they ran, weapons lying forgotten in the lift, their thoughts on nothing more than the primal urge to survive, fuelling their desperate retreat. They were going to make it.

All except the Doctor.

She was lagging behind, still stiff from her imprisonment, unarmoured and unable to keep up. Shepard was behind her, her own base instincts suppressed by the desire to get everyone out. Running out of patience and time, she scooped the doctor up and threw her over her shoulder to meek protests from the asari. Now with twice the weight on her shoulders, Shepard called on all her reserves, everything she had left to keep going as fast as she could. The very ground beneath their feet was cracking, with the roar of torn mountain echoing like the biggest explosion. The rest of the team were far ahead, unable to help.

They were in the entrance shaft, running towards the surface. Shepard could see daylight at the end.

Thirty steps.

She heard the groan of metal as the shaft behind them was crushed under the massive weight it tried so forlornly to support.

Twenty steps.

The floor was getting less and less steady as the mountain tried to pull it down into the depths.

Ten steps.

With her teeth clenched, legs burning, Shepard put her head down and just sprinted.

The floor gave way as Shepard stepped off it, a plume of dust escaping high into the air. The entire shaft collapsed into the brand new chasm, created by her mining laser. The human set the asari down, as breathless as she, while Shepard bent over double, hands on knees, sucking in air and coughing. Above them, she could just make out the whine of the Normandy's engines. She threw up a hand to show that she was alright.

She never wanted to see this planet again.


	24. Chapter 24

It was seven very tired and very sore people who gingerly took seats in the Debriefing room of the _Normandy_. Without exception, they were bruised and dirty, armour scored and dented and all thoroughly glad to be leaving Therum behind.

Before anyone could say anything, Joker's voice chimed in over the intercom,

"Close call Commander, a few more minutes and we would have been swimming in molten lava._Normandy_'s not really built for exploding volcanoes. It tends to fry our sensors and melt our hull. Just for future reference."

Shepard could not sum up the energy to reply, just waving her hand in the air. Not that he could see it.

Liara seemed confused,

"We almost died and your pilot is making jokes?"

"He pulled our asses out the fire." Shepard leant back in her chair, eyes closed, "he gets a free shot this time."

"I see." She looked no less confused, "it must be a human thing. I don't have a lot of experience dealing with your species Commander, but I am grateful. You saved my life."

"Think nothing of it," Shepard tiredly waved away her thanks, "always looking for an excuse to stretch my legs."

"Not just from the volcano, but from the Geth."

"Speaking of which, what did Saren want with you?" Kaidan leant forward in his chair, watching keenly, "do you know something about the Conduit?"

Everyone else leant forward a little. Even Wrex.

"Very little, I'm afraid. All I know is that it was linked with the Prothean extinction, my area of expertise. I have spent the past fifty years looking for clues as to why they vanished."

"Damn, fifty years? Hope I look that good." Ashley whistled.

"What?" Liara's look of confusion returned, "my species lives ten times as long as your own...we naturally age slower..." she trailed off, "oh wait, was that another joke?"

"Never mind," Shepard glanced over at Ashley, who mumbled a sorry and looked at the floor, "what do you know about the Prothean extinction?"

"Again, very little is concrete. For such a large empire, the Protheans left remarkably little behind. It is almost as if someone removed any clues as to their disappearance."

"Removed them?" Garrus frowned, "you mean like an invading race?"

"That is my theory," Liara nodded keenly, enthusiasm building, "my research indicated that the Protheans were at the apex of their power before being violently cast down. A lot of their former worlds show signs of incredible violence and not much evidence of any life. My theory is that they were destroyed by another species, one with the power and sophistication to destroy the most advanced race the galaxy had ever seen."

"Interesting theory," Kaidan sighed, "but it doesn't help bring us closer to Saren."

"No, I am sorry Commander but I have no information related directly to the Conduit." All the asari's enthusiasm melted away.

"Alright," Shepard exhaled sharply, masking her disappointment. She had been so sure that Benezia's daughter would have _some_ answers. She also thought about her theory with growing unease, mind filling with the images of her vision. What was she seeing? Was it the end? The end of the Protheans at the hand of that massive ship? Was she peering into a snapshot of the past, watching as an entire race was brutally massacred? She needed to speak to Liara alone. She needed help with this,

"Saren wanted you gone. To be honest, I think we'll benefit if you want to join us." She resisted the urge to rub her temples. She could feel a headache coming on.

"Join you? Well, yes," Liara seemed taken aback but encouraged, "Saren might come after me again and I doubt there's anywhere safer than the _Normandy._"

"See if you're saying that in a few weeks." Tali muttered to Garrus.

"And my knowledge of the Protheans might come in handy." Liara pressed on, having not heard the comment behind her.

"And her biotics will come in handy when the fighting starts." Wrex nodded in agreement.

"Welcome to the team Liara." Shepard nodded, then immediately wished she hadn't. It felt like her entire brain had lurched very heavily to the front of her skull.

"Thank you Commander I-" Liara stopped, wavering on the spot, "-apologies. I am feeling...a little dizzy."

'Tell me about it,' Shepard thought.

"When was the last time you ate? Or slept?" Kaidan frowned, "Doctor Chakwas should take a look at you."

"I want everyone to go to Chakwas. These bruises might be nothing but I want to be sure." She closed her eyes, "that's all for now. Everyone dismissed."

As the team stood and headed for the door, Kaidan remained behind, concerned eyes running over the redhead, "Are you okay Commander? You look a little pale."

"I'm fine Kaidan." She lied, "go get checked out. I'll catch up with you later."

The Sentinel nodded slowly, hesitantly. As he headed for the door, he kept slowing and turning to check, as if expecting to see her lying on the floor. She just smiled at him.

As the door hissed closed, Joker's bright and chirpy voice spoke over the intercom, making her wince,

"Mission reports are filed Commander. The Council is requesting an update on the mission."

"Put them through." Shepard took the moment to peace to rub her temples, trying to ease the pressure on her skull without success. As soon as the three holographic figures flickered to life, her hands dropped to her sides.

"Commander, we read your report on Therum. I understand you have Doctor T'Soni aboard." The asari councillor sounded upbeat.

"I assume you're taking all the necessary precautions?" The turian had his hands crossed over his chest, perpetual frown adorning his features.

"She's volunteered to assist in the search for Saren, Councillor," Shepard explained, wondering why holograms had to be so damned bright, "she claims to have no knowledge of Saren or the Conduit and I believe her. I think we can trust her. The geth _were_ trying to kill her."

"You're certain Commander?" the asari frowned, "Benezia would _never_ allow the geth to harm her daughter."

"Maybe she doesn't know." The Salarian shrugged.

"Or maybe we don't know her. We never thought she could turn traitor." the turian growled, "keep an eye on her Shepard. We don't know if she can be trusted.

'Except I just said she can.' Shepard thought.

"At least the mission was a success." The Salarian said brightly, trying to focus more on the known than the unknown.

"Apart from the utter destruction of a major Prothean ruin. Was that really necessary Commander?" The turian glared at her with those translucent eyes.

"The geth were swarming the place, they were trying to find a way to the Doctor. We were lucky to make it out in one piece." Shepard said in an even voice, resisting the urge to snap through the pain.

"Of course, Commander. The mission must always take priority." The Salarian took her side. A first.

"Commander, do you have any more leads on Saren's location?" The asari asked.

"None."

"Good, your official induction ceremony is due to take place in a week. We would greatly appreciate it if you could make it."

"Saren-"

The Diplomat cut her off, "-rest assured, Commander. We are searching the Traverse for clues as to his whereabouts. If we hear anything, you'll be the first to know. We shall see you there." the feed was cut.

Shepard sighed, relieved that the bright lights were gone, but the pressure in her mind did not lift. She needed to get to bed, she needed to lie down for a few hours and just recharge. When she felt better, she would see go see Chakwas. It was probably just a headache.

That was what she told herself anyway.

So why had it only started when she thought about the beacon images?


	25. Chapter 25

_AN: Here we are with another chapter! They come a bit slower and more spread out after this one, mostly thanks to my decision to have a Mass Effect marathon. I am attempting to get through the series from 1 to 3 and...it's going to take up a sizeable part of my time. Big thanks to everyone reading and reviewing._

* * *

"You destroyed a mountain?!" Even though the translucent hologram sacrificed some detail for ease of communication, Anderson's shock was clear.

"No!" Shepard replied quickly and defensively, "...well...maybe...okay, yes. But it wasn't like that!"

Anderson chuckled, holding up his hands to suggest he did not wish to debate the matter, "no need to explain to me Shepard. I understand you did what you had to do. Udina is less than satisfied. He feels that the loss of such a ruin 'undermines our bargaining position against potentially sensitive species'. His words, not mine." This news only seemed to cheer the Captain up more.

"You can tell him I said 'you're welcome'." the woman rolled her eyes, unsmiling. Udina had already made his point abundantly clear during his own conversation. He had fired the whole lecture at her, letting her know how she was representing humanity and he had to clean her messes up. He sure as hell knew how to drag down a victory. She remembered wondering how he would have reacted if she had failed. His bollocking was just one of many communications that had reached the _Normandy_ during the night, with such frequency and regularity that she was considering moving her office into the debriefing room. Without fail, they were about the coming ceremony and she was getting sick of hearing about it.

"Don't worry, I will." Anderson nodded, his own smile slipping a little. Even though they were separated by the vast ocean of space, he could still tell something was wrong, "Udina is part of the reason I'm here actually, Shepard. There's been a lot of...concern...over your guest list."

"_My_ guest list?" she folded her arms over her chest, ready for battle, "what's wrong with it?"

"Udina's not happy that you've invited your entire team."

"They're my team, Anderson. They've fought beside me. They're going to be a part of this as much as I am."

"Yes well, Chief Williams and Lieutenant Alenko are not the problem. Even Vakarian is fine. It's Tali and Wrex."

"What about them?"

"Well...Udina is uncomfortable with the thought of having a quarian and a krogan in your corner. They're...not exactly popular with the Council."

"Well, Udina is going to have to cope. I asked them along and they've accepted."

Anderson was surprised, "Even Wrex?"

"I told him about the free tab."

The Captain looked less surprised, "Ah, I see. What do you want me to tell Udina?"

"I don't know," Shepard squeezed her temples with one hand, eyes closed, thinking, "tell him that it promotes cultural unity and human tolerance."

Anderson laughed, "I think that must just work Shepard. Udina could definitely twist that into something acceptable. He's fighting with the Council on everything anyway, even what you're allowed to wear."

Shepard just looked at him, "Clothes, I hope."

"The Ambassador and I want you to wear your Dress uniform; Udina because he wants you to look good for the recruitment photos and me because...well, you still consider yourself an Alliance soldier?"

"Sir, yes sir!" Shepard gave a mockingly sloppy salute. That had always annoyed him.

"That's what I thought." he twitched, "The Council don't want you wearing anything so...obviously biased towards one side. They want something more neutral."

"Alright..." Shepard wondered how debates over her clothing for a formal ball had taken on greater significance than her mission to track down and arrest one of their own traitorous agents, "I'll leave that battle in your capable hands sir."

"I can handle the Ambassador," Shepard could well believe it. She put a hand to her head again, "are you okay Shepard?"

"I'm fine, just a stubborn headache."

"How long have you had it? How bad is it?"

"Since yesterday, it started after the Therum business and it's not that bad." She was surprised to see how concerned he was by the simple statement, his holographic form bent over slightly, as if attempting to bridge the vast distance that separated them.

"Have you gone to Chakwas?"

"First thing this morning. She ran some scans and she's performing tests now. I'm going to head to her once I'm finished speaking with you."

"Then don't let me keep you. Any further communications relating to the mission will be addressed to Pressly. Any business on this ceremony can wait until you return."

"Christ Anderson, it's just a headache, not an outbreak of the Bubonic Plague."

"Even so Shepard, I want you to keep yourself in top condition. It was okay when you were just another grunt but now, things are different. To beat Saren, you have to be at the top of your game. It might just be a headache to you but to him it's an edge. Now go see the Doctor. I'll keep the hounds from the door. Anderson out." the image flickered and died away, leaving Shepard in the perpetually murky darkness of the _Normandy's_ interior. Thinking on what he had said, she pondered his words, then how long it had been since she had worn a dress.

A _very_ long time.

* * *

"Well Doc, give it to me straight. How long do I have to live?"

Chakwas rolled her eyes at the ship's commanding officer, supposedly, who sat perched on the edge of one of the beds, blue eyes following her keenly, "ten seconds, these are literally your final words."

"Udina's a git."

"Well said Commander, very moving. May we?" The grey doctor gestured towards the datapad she held in her hand. Shepard nodded and her eyes, though still filled with childish mirth, flashed with nervous anticipation.

"Shepard...there's nothing wrong with you."

"Really?" she seemed surprised by that, "you sure?"

"Absolutely. I did all the tests I could and a few more besides. Physically you're in perfect shape. No swelling, no inflammation, nothing. You're fine."

"I see," there was a pause. The commander was considering something. Chakwas just let her work it out, "do you mind if I get a second opinion? The problem might not be entirely...physical..."

Chakwas frowned, deep in thought. She was surprised by how seriously Shepard was taking a headache, especially as she had laughed off much worse injuries than this in her time. Even the way she was watching her was off, gaze fixed on the doctor keenly, waiting. After a while, the elder woman just nodded,

"I'm no psychiatrist Commander. Doctor T'Soni might be able to give you some help if you need it. She's in my office," She nodded to the room at the other end of the medical bay.

"Thanks Doctor." Shepard flashed her a smile and jumped down from the bed, heading for the private Office.

Chakwas waited until the door had hissed shut before looking at the report again. Maybe she had better run some more tests...


	26. Chapter 26

_AN: Happy new year to everyone! I decided I would put up one final chapter for the year, just because it sounds good. Big thanks again to everyone reading, I really do appreciate people taking the time to do so._

* * *

Liara was sitting at the small terminal in the tiny office that was cramped at the back of the medical bay. For the life of her, Shepard could never work out precisely what it was for, as there was also a terminal beside the beds that Chakwas spent most of her time at. The room was a waste of space on a ship where it was such a valuable commodity. Of course, right now it was playing host to the latest addition to their crew. Shepard had not been quite sure what to make of Doctor Liara T'Soni when they had first met. Maybe it was the manner in which they had met, with the Archaeologist trapped within a sphere of Prothean energy or maybe it was just her personally. She seemed as taken aback by developments as anyone else. Above all else, Shepard trusted her instincts and her instincts were telling her that Liara was no threat to either herself or the ship.

In fact, she had not been seen since the debriefing. The asari had locked herself away from the crew, remaining in a voluntary exile at the darkest corner of the _Normandy_. No one had gone near her aside from Chakwas. Half of them were suspicious of her intentions while the other half simply did not know what to say or do.

The fact that Liara did not have many visitors was betrayed by the manner her head snapped around, eyes wide and surprised as she tried to see who had breached her lair. Shepard stopped at the door, putting up a hand,  
"Just checking how you're getting on." She explained.

"Oh, I am fine, thank you Commander. I was very impressed by your Medical Officer's knowledge of asari physiology." The blue-skinned woman visibly relaxed.

"The Doc's seen it all, she knows what she's doing." Shepard agreed, pleased that at least Chakwas had made a good impression, "are you not lonely in here on your own? You're more than welcome to the rest of the ship if you want." not strictly true but she didn't need to know that.

"That's very kind of you, but I am okay. I prefer the quiet. My work usually takes me to barren, fringe worlds; either very sparsely populated or uninhabited. Your crew has been very welcoming, more than I expected, given my connections."

"I don't think you're connected to any of this," Shepard sighed, "and that's good enough for the crew," _Most of them,_"but if you could tell us anything about Benezia, it might help."

"Nothing I'm afraid," The Academic's voice was pained, "I don't even understand it myself. It's totally out of character for her to run off like this. She was always very vocal about the asari taking a more active role in galactic affairs but she believed very strongly in the Council. We haven't spoken for a very long time but…surely she couldn't have changed so much…" Liara put a hand to her face in despair. Shepard was taken aback by how young she looked, how vulnerable. There was almost a pure innocence about her that Shepard despised the thought of tainting with their mission.

"Hey," Shepard placed a hand on her shoulder, voice soft, "when we find her, we'll get some answers." _I hope._She decided now as probably a good time to change the subject, "actually, it was your expertise I came to talk to you about?"

"Oh?" Liara looked interested, eyes flashing with gratitude at the rapid change of tack, "how can I help?"

"I didn't mention it in the debriefing but on Eden Prime there was a Prothean beacon. I activated it, used it."

The human Spectre had been ready for many responses but not the one she got. Liara leapt out of her seat as if it had been electrified, eyes wide, movements rapid and speech quickfire,  
"You interacted with a prothean beacon? An actual prothean device? How? When? Why?"

There was a moment of agitated silence as Shepard worked out the excited gibberish, "Uh…about ten days ago and it didn't really give me a choice. It just sort of…sucked me in…"

"Incredible!" Liara was reacting to this news a bit too brightly for it to be comfortable, "it must have been your biotics! It must have detected your amp and mistaken you for a prothean! This is…amazing…what happened then?"

"Well…it burned a vision into my brain-"

"-I can't believe it! This is wonderful! Working prothean technology! This could be the biggest breakthrough in generations! And it interacted with you! You! A human of all things!"

"Of all things?" Shepard raised an eyebrow.

Liara's expression shifted quickly from one of childish delight to one of horror, "Oh no! I didn't mean to be offensive. I simply meant that your species is so new on the galaxy, so young, that the greatest breakthrough in centuries could come from such a source is…ironic…" she trailed away, gaze shifting down, "sorry Commander. I don't know what you must think of me."

"I've been called worse." Shepard shrugged, keen not to divert too much from the subject, "since then though I've been getting these headaches. Dull and ordinary most of the time but when I think about the vision, they get worse."

"Ah yes," Liara settled back in the chair, folding her arms over her chest, "that is not unexpected. The beacons were designed by protheans for prothean physiology. I'm actually amazed you managed to survive at all. The rapid transfer of so much information directly to the mind can be overwhelming. A lesser mind would have been utterly shattered. You must be incredibly strong-willed."

"Thanks? I think." Shepard pursed her lips, corners twitching, "you sound like you want to dissect me in a lab somewhere."

"What? No!" That horrified look was back, "I don't want to do that at all, I simply wish to engage in a proper scientific study of…no, that sounds much worse…"

"Relax Liara. It was just a joke." Shepard openly smiled now.

"A joke?" Liara looked confused, "humans are very strange."

"Yeah, but we just about manage." She chuckled.

"Well, anyway, your mind is still trying to make sense of information that it could not possibly hope to understand. I'm guessing that the images are fragmented and nonsensical?"

"Pretty much."

"That is the source of your headaches Commander. I don't think there is much I can do to help except suggest you don't think about the visions." Liara smiled hesitantly.

_Easier said than done,_ Shepard thought.

"Just out curiosity, what did you see? Can you make sense of any of it?"

"Not really," the redhead bit her lip and shook her head, "apart from one image at the end, a massive warship, one that Saren is now using. Here, I'll show you." She approached the monitor, leant over and began to tap on the virtual interface. She was brushing against Liara, able to smell the woman's sweet perfume. It made her head spin more than the visions had while she could sense…something hanging in the still, recycled air between them, an awkwardness with something more subtle interwoven, unspoken. Liara was not looking at the monitor but at her, those big orbs fixed on the human.

"There," She said, straightening rather quickly, the readouts of the ship on Eden Prime onscreen. Liara turned her attention to them, though the awkward air remained, "seen it before?"

"No," She peered at it, brow furrowed, "but if this ship dates back to Prothean times, then it could have been built by the species that destroyed the Protheans! Incredible!"

"Incredible is not the word I would have used."

"But don't you see? It validates my theory! It gives us a concrete link to…" Liara trailed off as she wavered slightly, "oh. I feel a bit lightheaded."

"Do you need the doctor?" Shepard turned to the door.

"No, no. I am still a little tired from our adventure and this information has given me a lot to think about. I will be fine if I just rest."

"I'll leave you to it then." The Commander nodded, "thanks for the talk Liara, it was informative."

"Likewise." She smiled faintly and nodded her head. Heading from the medical bay towards the lift, Shepard pondered what had happened. The headache cause she had sort of suspected but what had happened when they had gotten close? Why had there been a spark?

_I think I've got a lot to think about too._ She sighed.


	27. Chapter 27

_AN: Happy 2013 everyone! Sorry for the tardiness of this new arrival but I'm full speed ahead with exams at the moment. It also explains why its much shorter than usual. I hope it's worth waiting for. As always, thank you for the patience and the feedback, it's always appreciated!_

* * *

The excitement amongst the crew began to build as soon as they dropped through the Mass Relay and started on the final approach towards the Citadel. The _Normandy_ would be docked at the Citadel for at least two days and that was two days of shore leave. As the Alliance Navy was notoriously tight-fisted with such things, the crew were keen to get as much of it as they could. Such were the perks of being on the crew of a Spectre vessel.

Not everyone was looking forward to making port. Shepard had been taking Liara's advice and steering clear of any thoughts relating to her visions. It had not been difficult, not with the Induction Ceremony looming ever closer. It was ensuring that the headache was not going away, just that it was about something she could understand, rather than something she could not. The transmissions had not stopped either, usually Udina and usually to warn her about something she was not to do;

"Shepard, when making your speech, you must not mention the First Contact War."

"Okay."

"And you can't talk about the Traverse. Or Eden Prime."

"Got it."

"You can't wear your Dress Uniform. The Council was very specific on that."

"Alright."

"And if you're going to smile, smile at everyone equally."

"For Christ's sake Udina, why don't you make the damn speech yourself?"

Hence it was with no great joy that Shepard walked up to the cockpit of the _Normandy_ watching as the great station loomed once more out of the fog. With its appearance came a rush of nerves as she thought over the coming day. Remembering how nervous she had been when they had first landed, the Commander started to wonder if she would ever land on the Citadel without a strong sense of foreboding.

"I'd prefer silver to gold, Commander."

She found herself snapped out of her musings by the voice of her pilot, "huh?"

"For my medal? You know, the one they're going to give me for hauling your ass out of the fire?"

"Oh, sure," she had to think about that for a minute, "they could give it to you during my Induction. Then you could get up and give a speech too."

"Me? Hell no." Joker laughed, "I think I'll leave the spotlight to you."

"Always knew I could count on you." She said dryly.

"Never heard the saying 'don't trust a joker?'"

"I've been meaning to ask you actually," Shepard leant against the side of the cockpit, Joker glancing over his shoulder to look her in the eye, "how did you get the nickname?"

He hesitated. For the first time, he pulled his gaze away, "it's a lot easier than saying Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau?"

"Nice try."

"Ugh, look I didn't pick the name okay? One of the instructors in the academy called me Joker because I never smiled and the name stuck."

Shepard tilted her head at him, surprised, "why did you never smile?"

"You know why."

"The Vroliks?"

"Damn straight. Nobody gave me a chance, they were just waiting for me to throw in the towel, to just give up. I worked my ass off in training and in the field to get where I am. I can fracture a bone as easily as you can take a breath but I'm still the best damn pilot in this Navy and top graduate from my class. Me, the stupid little kid with the spindly legs." He had been getting worked up, voice growing louder and more agitated at the perceived slights of a lifetime.

Shepard put up a hand to placate him,  
"Calm down Joker. I understand. You're not the only one who didn't smile through training."

That calmed the pilot right down. "Mindoir?"

"Damn straight. Us against the Galaxy, right?"

"Right." There was a pause. "So, you have a nickname Commander? I promise I won't tell...much."

Shepard rolled her eyes and sighed. Reluctant, it was only fair that she be honest like he had, "Back in basic, they called me...Tigs..."

"Tigs?" Joker snorted, resisting the urge to laugh, "where the hell did they get Tigs?"

"It's a long story. Maybe I'll explain one day." She sighed, glancing up at the looming station, "for now, try to concentrate on not crashing us into the dock."

"You sure, Commander? Would make a great entrance."

"Yeah, I think I've got enough shit for blowing up a mountain without ramming the Citadel as well, fly-boy."

"Spoilsport."

"Show-off."


	28. Chapter 28

It had been a long time since she had seen the Citadel.

It had not changed much over the decades but then, she had been very young when she had last been here. For a child, gazing upon the wonders of the great station almost seemed like stepping into another world, another fiction. It was as exotic as anything in her books, more grand than she could ever have hoped to imagine. That was before they even got to the aliens. Some she recognised, even from a sheltered life on Thessia, but others were just that; alien. She had stayed very close to her mother, the woman holding her hand tightly, making sure that the floods of people wouldn't carry her away and separate them forever.

Her mother seemed to be doing an adequate job of that on her own though.

Liara tried to bite down on the icy cold surge of pain which flooded her system whenever she thought of her mother's betrayal. The same woman who had hugged her close when she was scared, made her laugh when she was sad and picked her up when she was down was now a traitor to her own people. Perhaps one of the greatest traitors in the modern age. She shook her head as she leant against the railing and looked out over the caliginous lakes of a sleeping Presidium, the artificial lighting draining away as the day wore on and the sound of polite conversation and light, piano music carried softly from the room behind. She had to stay focused on why she was here. That inevitably brought her thoughts back to Commander Shepard.

The human woman was one of the most interesting people she had ever met. The Commander fought her way into the middle of a geth horde, broke her out of a prison of her own making and then brought down a priceless prothean ruin. There was one to be said for her, it was that life with her was never boring. She owed the woman her life. That was even before they had got to the beacon. She had encountered a Prothean beacon and, better than that, she had interacted with it, received data from it. Locked beneath that swept back, curly-tipped, flaming hair could be the answers to the questions she had spent her life chasing. It was the source of her fascination.

That was what she had convinced herself anyway.

No. It had been more than that. When Shepard had reached down to use her console there had been a surge of...energy she supposed. Asari were taught that every living thing interacted, that they were all part of the greater whole. Every action had a consequence, a ripple sent through time. Was that what had pulled them so powerfully together, to nearly ignite the ember? She didn't know. Shepard had not spoken of it and she was loath to give the poor woman yet another thing to focus on.

"There you are."

Speak of the goddess...Shepard slipped through the double glass doors and onto the balcony with her, having finally managed to untangle herself from the great crowds of people who had been surrounding her for most of the night. She had gone with the Ambassador's wishes and discarded her dress uniform, instead she had gone for a full length, emerald green ball gown. She looked, there was no other way of saying it, absolutely ravishing. The dress hugged her figure enough to define her sublime figure, following her curves sensually, sublimely. Her neck was mostly open with a small silver locket dangling down to draw attention to her...assets. Though it stretched down to the floor, there was a cut down the side to give her more movement and every so often there was a flash of pale skin when she moved. She had done something to her hair, Liara could only guess, but it seemed to have more volume and a greater shine. She had applied a subtle layer of make up to enhance her natural features, namely her high cheekbones and her eyes. It was the eyes that caught Liara's attention, those cerulean gems that seemed to glow with energy and enthusiasm.

Liara found she was staring and tried to pull her gaze away. It was much better to wait until her back was turned before she started roaming...

_...wait. No it isn't. Where did that thought come from?_

She tried to recollect her shattered thoughts and smile as the woman came alongside her,  
"S-Shepard," she practically tripped over her own tongue. Smooth, "you managed to get away from your admirers then?" _Most of them._

"Yeah, I have to say, the Elcor Ambassador's a riot. It takes him a while to reach the punchline but it is well worth it." She chuckled, shaking her head so that her hair wavered and shimmied like wheat caught in a gentle breeze and...her mind was wandering again...

Why was it so hard to concentrate around Shepard?

_...is she wearing perfume?_

_Uh oh. She's looking straight at me._ Liara felt a moment of panic fill her mind. Had she asked a question and was waiting for an answer? What must she think of the asari staring gormlessly at her.

"I'm...sorry?" She managed, cringing internally.

If the human thought her behaviour strange, she showed no sign of it, which only served to make it more awkward, "I said, what were you doing out here? You've been missing for ages."

"Oh, sorry." Liara looked away, if only so Shepard wouldn't see the slight tint of pink slipping into her cheeks, "I came out here for some quiet. I have a lot to think about."

"Yeah. I'll bet."

Shepard leant against the balcony with her, looking out over the Presidium. Liara felt dizzy standing so close to her. All she needed was something to break the silence...

The quiet between them seemed to stretch one again. Liara tried to think of something to say while Shepard seemed perfectly content with the moment of peace. The Archaeologist knew there had to be_something_she could say that would open up the conversation but it remained frustratingly out of reach. It had been so long since she had tried to chat to someone she was interested in.

Movement at the door distracted both of them, turning as one to see who had interrupted them. As they turned their eyes met, blue meeting sapphire, and for one fleeting moment, Liara felt a strong surge of need before the moment was gone.

Anderson was standing in his dress uniform, bedecked with dozens of ribbons speaking of a lifetime of bravery and self-sacrifice.

"Shepard? It's time for your speech."

The woman nodded in thanks, waiting until the Captain had gone before she exhaled deeply.  
"Well, here goes." She breathed, eyes closed. Liara was struck by how nervous she looked, "you coming?"

"Oh. Of course." The asari nodded with all the enthusiastic energy of a puppy before she caught herself, "I'll...um...I'll be right there..."

The Spectre watched her for another long minute before heading back inside, leaving the blue-skinned woman light-headed and confused. She wasn't going to go to pieces like that every time she was around the Commander was she? At this rate, she would need one of Tali's enviro-suits to be safe.


	29. Chapter 29

The hall had been lavishly decorated for this most important of ceremonies, the symbol of the Citadel Council was everywhere, while it was all dark purples and exquisite blues. Most of the Citadel's distinguished people appeared to be here, along with large numbers of humans. Most were wearing the livery of the Alliance Navy but there were several in expensive Tuxedos and suits. Even the Council Guards lining the room were dressed in ridiculously ornate armour that would look silly in any other situation but this one. At one end was a large stage, upon which sat the human Ambassador and the three Councillors, all dressed in the most extravagant garments possible. Down either side of the room were two collections of circular tables, with a polished dance floor separating them.

Shepard had already made it onto the stage by the time Liara found her way to her chair. 4 of the six other seats around the circular table had already been occupied as she settled down. To her right sat Anderson, while beside him was a stern looking asari dressed in the regal silver uniform of the Asari Republican Navy. To her other side was a Salarian dressed in light armour, wide and dark eyes flicking, never sitting still for a moment. To the other side of the unoccupied seat was Executor Pallin, the turian in command of Citadel Security. Surrounded by people dressed in the finest livery in the galaxy, Liara felt distinctly out of place in her own dress, golden coloured and open all the way to the small of her back. She had not gone overboard with make up but she made an effort, if for Shepard's sake as much as her own. Ignoring her esteemed company, she focused on her Commander, who was readying herself. Liara felt herself leaning forward, the perfect little plan forming in her head;

"_I'll listen to Shepard's speech. Then when she sits down, I'll have a whole array of topics to discuss with her! She'll be so impressed..."_

"Ladies, Gentlemen, Prime Minister." Shepard began by nodding in the direction of the Prime Minister's table, hidden amongst the masses, voice loud and confident, "I would like to start by profoundly thanking the Councillors for presenting me with this opportunity..."

Liara noted how she was not even looking down at her notes, addressing the audience with roving eyes. She knew that the Commander had locked herself in her room for several days on their approach, working and reworking the speech until she was happy with it. The woman was so utterly confident when speaking, her rich tone carrying across to an enraptured audience. Looking at her, one couldn't have known how much she was suffering.

Liara had been extremely uncomfortable with Shepard's secret and she knew that things had been getting worse. She knew why. She had told Shepard that her mind was trying to make sense of Prothean information. She had not told her that her mind would never stop trying to make sense of it, stubbornly attacking the data until either it slotted into place -impossible- or her mind simply self-destructed with the effort. Liara shivered as she thought of the inevitable, ice-cold fact that Shepard was running around on borrowed time...what it meant...

She was jerked away by the sound of rapturous applause to see that Shepard was side on to the audience, bowing her head to the asari Councillor, a small and ornate box in her hand. With the ceremony over, Shepard stepped off the stage and began threading her way back towards the table, accepting handshakes and jokes from the jubilant humans around her.

_'Oh no! I missed the entire speech!'_

Shepard finally fought her way back to the table, to the polite applause of its occupants. Liara joined in, still mentally berating herself.

"Commander Shepard," Anderson stood, "allow me to introduce Executor Pallin of Citadel Security," the turian nodded, "Matriarch Lidanya of the _Destiny Ascension._" The hard asari put a hand up in greeting, "and Lenni Vers of the Spectres." The salarian twitched but otherwise gave no indication that he had heard anything.

"Pleased to meet you all," Shepard nodded as she took her seat between Liara and Pallin.

"A very interesting speech, Commander," Pallin leant in, "I was interested how much praise you placed on the Spectres." Liara felt a flare of envy for the turian Executor.

_'That should have been my topic!'_

"Difficult job in impossible circumstances, Executor." Vers responded with the machine gun fire talk characteristic of his people, "your opinions on the Spectres are well documented. I'm Impressed with your work Commander. I look forward to working with you."

"Thank you," the human smiled, "as I said, it's a great honour."

"Yes, so long as you keep on the right side of the law." Pallen was not smiling. The asari Matriarch rolled her eyes wearily.

"You don't like the Spectres?" Shepard leant forward with a frown, eyes fixed on the turian. Liara felt the urge to tug on her arm or clear her throat. Anything to get involved in the conversation.

"No, I don't. They rub me up the wrong way completely. Immunity to the law is not to be lauded Commander." A sharp glance at Vers, "I've never had to break the law to do my job and if a Spectre is supposed to be the best, neither should they."

"Different mandates," the salarian explained patiently, "C-Sec's job is to enforce laws. It's a very simple role. The laws are black and white. Spectres have to be more...fluid. Different laws on different planets. Often no laws have been broken and red tape would be a hassle. Billions of lives could depend on it."

"Don't worry Executor. I understand your concerns and I can say with absolute confidence that I won't break the law except as a last resort."

"I hope not Commander. The last thing we need is another Saren."

That one statement drained the atmosphere of any joviality in a single strike. Anderson glared, Lidanya looked horrified and Vers looked as though he had been wired up to the mains. Liara caught her breath, as if afraid that releasing anything into such poisoned air would spark everything off.

Shepard spent a moment thinking about that. She smiled at the Executor, a sweet and disarming expression that Liara found herself transfixed by,

"Not all Spectres are like Saren, Executor."

"Quite right, Commander." Lidanya knocked the table in approval, her voice light and very youthful despite her high rank and rather worn appearance, "I have worked with many Spectres, Pallin and they have never given me cause for alarm."

"The ability to break law does not mean it's first choice." Vers nodded so violently that it looked like his head would come off, "it is a great power and must be handled responsibly. I agree it is dangerous in the wrong hands, it's why we're so careful. Saren was an exception, always too brutal for my tastes. I would like to hunt him down myself but my own mission takes precedence."

Somewhere behind the table in the darkness, a soft waltz music began to fill the air, prompting many pairs to evacuate their tables and move onto the dance floor in the centre, spinning in perfect timing with the music. Liara watched them, entranced for a moment, before she felt a tap on her shoulder.

Shepard was looking right at her.  
"Care to dance?"

"I...yes! I mean...okay." The asari smiled and blushed faintly.

Making her excuses, Shepard took Liara by the hand and guided her over to the dance floor. Now encased by swirling couples, the human placed a hand between the asari's exposed shoulder blades and pulled her body close, knotting their fingers on the other hand. Liara felt her breath catch again and a slight blush fill her cheeks. She was so close, Shepard's body a burning ember beside hers, the hand on her back strong yet comforting, cocooning and protecting her, the sweet scent of her perfume pervading every sense. The young asari wanted this moment to last forever.

"Sorry about that." Shepard whispered in her ear as they began to spin, though in truth Liara had mostly just gone limp and let the Commander do the directing, "didn't want to keep you buried under politics all night."

"Oh, that's fine." Liara squeaked, "I didn't really mind if you wanted to stay..."

"And have Pallin shooting me daggers all night? No thanks." She giggled softly. It was infectious and it made Liara smile.

"This must all be...overwhelming," she wondered aloud.

"Just a little bit." Shepard admitted with a little shrug, "but Anderson says I'm doing a good job so I must be doing something right."

"You and him are close." Liara pointed out, voicing a little nagging doubt in her head. She did not know much about human relationships but she knew there was something between them. She had seen the little signs, the way they looked at one another. She wanted to be sure there was nothing there. If there was, she didn't know what she would do.

"Yeah, very." Shepard agreed. Liara felt her heart sink, "he's been there for me for a very long time. I respect him and value his advice."

"Oh," Liara blinked as the implications sank in but she felt hope spring anew, "so you two aren't...y'know..."

Now it was the human's took to look surprised, "Good god no! I couldn't do that. It'd be like going out with my dad..."

Another conversation topic! Though it hurt to talk about family, she was curious and that curiosity overrode her own concern,  
"I haven't heard you talk much about your parents. I know they're...well..." She looked away, the blush growing deeper, "I heard about Mindoir. I'm sorry."

"Most people are." the human smiled but it was not the bright and cheerful smile so characteristic of her but a wounded smile, more of a grimace. "It was a long time ago."

Aware in the sudden sorrow, Liara quickly grasped around for a direction to steer the conversation, "you're quite a dancer, Shepard."

"Thanks, my mother taught me. We were always going to balls and galas like this one." the woman replied wistfully, the sad expression not leaving her features.

_Oh smashing. Well done Liara, why not just stick the boot in and ask where the Batarians are..._

Desperate, she tried again, "have you seen anyone else here? I know Wrex is at the bar. He's...quite sharply dressed."

"I saw him." Shepard sighed, not quite as upbeat as before, "I told him to wear something _without_ bullet holes."

Anything that Liara might have said in response was interrupted as Shepard glanced over her shoulder at their table, eyes narrowing. The asari looked over to see an Alliance Officer leant over Anderson's shoulder, the only person remaining at the table, murmuring in his ear. Both had rather serious expressions on their faces. Anderson gave an order to the Officer, who saluted and disappeared into the crowd. The Captain headed straight for Shepard and Liara.

"What's happened?" She asked seriously.

Anderson glanced around quickly to make sure no one was listening in on the tightly pressed dance floor before he leant in and whispered in her ear, though Liara was close enough to just pick out his words,

"The geth have attacked our colony at Feros. Looks like a major offensive. We have reports that Saren is leading them in person."

Through their hold, Liara could feel Shepard stiffen, yet outwardly, there was no reaction to the news except to ask a question,

"I'll get to the _Normandy_. What's the Brass' plan?"

"Hackett's putting together a response now. I've already ordered your crew to report to the _Normandy_ immediately."

"Thanks Anderson."

He nodded at her and disappeared into the crowd, no doubt to inform Udina and the other necessary authorities. Already, Liara could see Alliance Officers splitting from their partners or making excuses at their tables, all quickly heading for the exits.

"Come on." Shepard dropped her hands, leaving Liara feeling cold, "we need to get back to the ship."

Liara just nodded, able to pick out Wrex's considerable bulk abandoning the bar and heading for the lifts. The Citadel had been a touch of civility, a reminder of the world that existed beyond her dig sites and ruins. It had also been home to memories, both good and bad. Now though, she was going to wave goodbye to all of that.

Liara T'Soni was going to war.


	30. Chapter 30

When out in space, there was no real concept of day or night. Such things were difficult to keep track of when it always looked the same beyond the hull. Even so, the activity on the _Normandy_ rose and fell in accordance with the times of day. Shepard had always found that amusing, that she could look at her watch and, just as the time ticked over into evening GMT, so activity on the ship would wind down. It was not as noticeable on such a small ship but on the Cruisers she had served on, it was remarkable. It was like any other job; as soon as the clock hit 5, the workers downed tools and headed for home. Bizarre when she first joined, she had since learnt that it had a lot to do with the way that the shifts were drawn up, that there were naturally less people on duty at 'night' than during the day shift. Even though she knew the reasons behind it, she always noticed when the halls of the ship were a little emptier.

The _Normandy_ was no exception to the drawn up shifts. She was entirely alone in the cargo bay, checking over her rifle. The weight of the weapon was comforting in her hands but the sound of every action echoing off the Mako and the curved walls was less so. Most of the day crew were up on the second level, getting ready for the daily poker competition. Though only a half dozen at a time were permitted to play, it always drew a crowd and would keep everyone amused for hours, especially if a showman like Corporal Lacey got on a good streak. Everyone would be sucked in and the atmosphere was always electric. Tonight it would be even more so as they headed towards battle. It had always struck Shepard just how close the crew of the _Normandy_ was, almost like a family. It was a testament to Anderson's recruitment skills as much as anything and normally Shepard would be amongst them.

Not tonight. Tonight she was religiously checking her weapon; realigning the sights, stripping down the firing mechanism, calibrating the butt, changing out the ammo block and a hundred other little jobs that the Lancer needed done. None of them were strictly necessary. Ashley had taken charge of the weapons and her work, as always, was of the highest quality. No, Shepard always fiddled with her equipment. If not her rifle, then her armour. If not her armour, then her helmet. There was always something for her to do. It drove her comrades mad but it helped keep nervous hands busy_._

She heard the dull, weighty thump of a footstep behind her and immediately knew who it belonged to. It was much too heavy to be one of the Engineers. Too heavy to be anyone else except...

"Hello Wrex," she said nonchalantly, refusing to turn her attention from her work, "you not going to the game?"

"No." he growled, closer than she had expected, voice sombre. Wrex was fast for a krogan, and much lighter on his feet than she had experienced before. It struck her that it was just him and her down here. Most of the crew were a floor up and those on the same level surrounded by loud machinery while her main weapon was lying in bits before her. She tried to keep such thoughts from her head.

"You okay?" she asked, fighting to keep her voice as casual as possible.

"No." was his only reply, the footsteps stopping just over her right shoulder. She strained as she tried to pick up a squeak. Wrex's armour always squeaked underarm when he was going for a weapon. It could be her only chance.

"Weren't enjoying the reception too much where you?" she asked jokingly as she rubbed the dissected barrel with a piece of greasy cloth.

"No," She actually winced this time as she picked up the malevolence in his voice, so strong that she was tempted to call for one of the Marines. At least this time he elaborated, "they don't remember."

"They don't remember what?" Shepard asked. She had not turned to look at him, focusing on her task. Her life could depend on this in the near future and not even an angry krogan was worth leaving it unfinished.

"The Genophage. What they did to us. What they're _doing_ to us."

That got her attention. Slowly putting the barrel on the table, she turned to face the Mercenary. She had expected him to be a casket of pent up rage but the emotion she saw most prominently on those scarred and worn features was defeat. She could see it etched all over his face, "your people are dying, aren't they?"

"We're sure not getting any stronger." He hissed, "the genophage is stopping us breeding, thousands of children dying in stillbirth or before. It's decimating us. Destroying our will. Krogan flee our home system to escape it, to find a purpose away from the ruins of our race. They fight one another for credits and meaning. Anything but what awaits them on Tuchanka. Bah, I don't expect you to understand human. You've never encountered anything like this, the systematic destruction of an entire heritage."

"Unfortunately, we have. Only we did it to ourselves." Shepard sighed, "and it wasn't for anything as significant as trying to win a war." she let that sink in, "why aren't you trying to cure the genophage? Why aren't the krogan trying to cure it?"

"When was the last time you saw a krogan scientist?" he growled. Shepard did not feel it was right time to point out that she had only ever been on the receiving end of pirate attacks and his question was entirely rhetorical, "we're not scientists. We're warriors, we want to fight. Given a choice between curing the genophage or fighting for credits, krogan will pick the money every time. It's who we are. I can't change that. No one can." again, she picked up on the absolute defeat in his voice, the signs that he had simply resigned himself to his fate and the fate of his people. Shepard could feel herself filling with sorrow that such a proud being had been brought so low by circumstances beyond his control.

"And the salarians? The turians?" Wrex made a face and immediately, Shepard understood with a cold drop in her stomach, "they don't care do they?"

"No." Wrex's fists balled up, "we've been swept under the carpet. They're more than happy to just to let us die off, more convenient that way, the end of their little problem."

"I'm sure it's not like that." Shepard was starting to feel uncomfortable. Wrex was getting angry. She did not want to see him when he was angry.

"It sure as hell feels like it."

"Well, for what it's worth. I'm sorry Wrex, for everything that's happened to your people."

"Sorry doesn't bring back those unborn children, Shepard. Sorry doesn't undo the sins of the past."

"I know," the human sighed sadly, shoulders slumping, "but I learned that it at least lets you know that people still care. Even if it is only a brief flicker."

"It's a sweet idea, but the galaxy doesn't run on care." the krogan seemed to have been placated a little by the mournful expression that crossed the Commander's face, "what are you doing down here anyway? I thought you would have been with the others."

"Stripping down and cleaning my rifle." Shepard turned back to the disassembled gun and beckoned Wrex with a nod. The krogan thumped closer until he was able to look virtually over her shoulder. "I do this before a battle. I find it therapeutic."

"Ha, you're more like a krogan than you think." Wrex seemed interested in the gun, "so that's the firing mechanism of an Alliance Lancer rifle? Your Chief wouldn't let me near when she was stripping them down."

"Ash is just being cautious. It's part of the job description."

"Then why are you letting me look?"

"Because I trust you Wrex. Simple as that." She looked into his eyes. He seemed surprised. It was not very often that Wrex showed anything other than a grizzled neutrality, "sure there's been times when I've wanted to just kick your ass for disobeying my orders but I know there's more to you than the credits-above-all Mercenary."

"And how can you tell?" he seemed sceptical, arms folded over his chest.

She thought about it for a minute, trying to put her reasons into words. She found it more difficult than she had expected. There was no one event she could point at that would prove her point, no single sentence that would make him see reason. It was just a combination of everything.

After a while, she shrugged, "You trust your instincts?"

"Hell yeah. Got me out of more trouble than I could say," he nodded.

"And I trust mine."

"That's not much to go on." Wrex frowned.

Shepard looked him straight in the eye and smiled, "sometimes all you have to go on is a little faith."

"You're either a very good judge of character or very gullible Shepard. I'm not sure which yet." His brow furrowed as he considered the possibilities.

"I guess time will tell." she chuckled and turned her attention back to her weapon. She moved like lightning around it, fast and precise movements like a machine. Within moments, her weapon was fully assembled again and sparkling. She slipped it back into her storage locker and headed for the elevator. As she went, something occurred to her and she turned back to Wrex who had remained rooted to the spot.

"I think you do still care about your people, Wrex."

For the second time, she saw him surprised. It took a few moments before he could work out a reply, "and what the hell makes you think that?"

This time she did know what to say. She knew because she recognised it, "You got angry about the genophage. You were angry about what was happening to your people. You can say what you like Wrex, but no one gets angry about a cause they don't care about."

She left him with that thought, heading for the elevator. She could head for the game, maybe spend a little time with her crew but her dulled mind was screaming for sleep. Whether or not she would get any remained to be seen.

* * *

AN: Here we are with another reasonably short chapter. I was wondering what people referred, if they like the longer chapters or if it would be better to cut the story down into smaller, bite-sized pieces? I am aware that this is Chapter 30 and we haven't even made it to Feros yet...do people think its a bit slow paced?


	31. Chapter 31

_Everything was burning._

_The flames stretched high into the sky, vivid yellows and reds dancing amongst one another, their revelry keeping the dull twilight sky at bay. The buildings crackled and creaked in protest as they were slowly engulfed, consumed by the devious infernos, betrayed as their contents fuelled their own destruction. Every so often, a heavy rumble filled the sky as yet another home, another architect's vision, another castle of hopes and fears simply surrendered to the inevitable and died as surely as those who had once dwelt within._

_The crackling of the fire was loud, but in the area it found itself, it was but a whisper. It was deafened by the screams; of panic, of pain. Dark outlines were visible against the flashing light, stumbling and wavering like soulless ghouls doomed to wander limbo in eternity. The smell of cooked flesh pervaded every sense, overwhelming and controlling, choking and sickening. The cries of children carried in the smoke, searching for their parents, unaware of their newly orphaned status._

_Lauren stumbled. Her legs felt like concrete, her mind like saturated sponge. There were too many noises. Too much was going on. What should she do? What could she do? She looked wildly, eyes filled with a primal terror. A part of herself fought back, demanded she take her pistol. It was not at her hip. She was wearing only a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt, ragged and broken. They were sticky and dark, soaked through with the stench of death, impossible to escape from. Her head felt like it was being cracked open by great hammers, incessant and relentless._

_She tried not to look at the faces on the ground. Those that were still recognisable as human faces. They looked up at her, eyes begging, limbs twisted and broken, darkening the soil beneath with the essence they had poured into making it theirs._

_She tried to take a step, tried to take control but the thought died in her mind long before it reached her mind. She felt heavy, leaden. Her foot caught on something on the ground and she was pitched head-first into a pool soft and squishy. She looked at her hands._

_Blood._

_With a frightened gasp she backed away, eyes fixed on the kindly old face, pale and worn. He would have looked asleep, were it not for the pool in which he sat, dying in a sea of himself._

_A grinding noise like moving machinery, alien to the scene, filled her ears. Lauren screamed, put her hands to her ears and closed her eyes, trying to block it out. Above her, it's every step sending a tremor through the very colony itself, was a great black leviathan. With long synthetic tentacles twitching, it looked down at her. Just at her. Those red eyes fixed on hers._

_It was watching her._

Shepard jerked upright in the bed with a heavy gasp, like a scream strangled in her throat. She looked across her office, the terminal still on the report she had left it. She was fully dressed, lying on top of the sheets. She hadn't even made it into the covers.

She shivered, putting her hands around herself, slick with a cold sweat, chest heaving as she tried to get her breath back. The headache was thumping in the background and yet she did not care one little bit. She put a hand to her cheek, a slender finger tickled across her scar, fighting back the tears.

_'It's normally not as bad as that...and that ship...why...'_

"Commander?"

Shepard twitched violently, biotics flaring as she looked wildly for the source of the voice. It took a few moments for her feral mind to work out that it was Joker, on the intercom.

Heaving a sigh, she picked up her communicator and, after a few long, deep breaths, slipped it into her ear,

"Yes?" She knew she sounded faint, weak.

"We're ten minutes out from the **Theseus S**ystem, Commander. Hackett's forces have already engaged the Geth so we should be able to slip in unnoticed. You said you wanted to be informed."

"Thanks Joker," she closed her eyes again, heart thudding in her ears, "I'll be there in a minute."

"Aye ma'am." A click.

She threw the earpiece onto the bed and took a long look at herself in the mirror,

_'What is wrong with you?'_ She demanded of the tired looking woman she saw staring back at her, trying to stop herself trembling, _'You're past all this.'_

The stern look she got in reply gave her neither answers nor comfort.

Garrus and Kaidan were already in the cockpit when she reached it, dressed in her armour and ready for a fight. They too had their weapons slung as they stood over Joker's shoulder, watching the vivid light-show that was FTL travel pass merrily by.

"Admiral Hackett's not going to land ground forces until the fleet's been cleared." Garrus said by way of greeting, "too much of a risk from Geth ground forces. They're jamming communications but it looks like they've taken the main colony."

"Shit." she groaned.

"There's a small space port near the colony. I'm going to slip you in there." Joker added without turning around.

"...are you okay Shepard?" Kaidan was watching her with a peculiar look, "you look a bit rough."

"I'm fine," she had tried to hide it. She had brushed her hair, washed her face and applied a little make up to conceal the worst of the lines but it still shone through bright as day. Now she pushed away the Sentinel's concern with an casual and unmerited wave, "didn't have the best sleep in the world."

"Oh." Kaidan did not look appeased or satisfied but he wisely dropped the conversation with Garrus and few other members of the crew looking on curiously, "the team's assembled in the hangar. We're ready to move when you are."

"Let's go." She replied immediately, keen to be on the ground and as far away from her bed as possible. When she thought of the looming mission, she found her head clearing. She focused on that thought, clung to it like a lifebelt. She had to stay focused.

Saren was waiting for her.

* * *

AN: I do get quite a sadistic pleasure out of torturing Lauren (:p) but this chapter is something that I would have liked to see in the original game. It is implied throughout that Shepard is tormented by beacon-induced nightmares. I'm also bringing in some trivia from ME3 (namely Javik) that Protheans could communicate via touch and emotions. I think that Shepard would be feeling the emotions more than seeing images like in the game and, seeing as she has no context, her mind is comparing it to the closest thing to the end of the world she knows...

I thought I would try explaining my thought processes for some of these chapters but not sure how it's going to go down. If you would prefer for me to shut up and just write then by all means let me know!


	32. Chapter 32

The _Normandy_ appeared from FTL not far from the planet of Feros and began the rapid approach to the vivid-red system. Beneath them, the battle raged between the gleaming white and red, angular vessels of the defending Alliance fleet and the dull, silver hulls of the Geth vessels attempting to keep them from their target. The space between the two fleets was filled with GUARDIAN beams, mass accelerator fire and fighters all darting in and out of one another and competing for space. As the geth were otherwise occupied, it allowed the small Frigate to slip through undetected and head down for the surface.

Feros was a unique planet in the galaxy and certainly one of the most spectacular. The entire surface was covered in the ruins of a great Prothean city, the sort that modern technology could not even begin to imagine. The towers pierced the very clouds themselves to stretch up to the sky, making the towering structures of Earth or even the Citadel seem small and rather laughable. All of the great structures bore signs of damage, great gaping wounds opened by the ravages of time and battles fought amongst the child races of their creators. This planet had played host to a battle between the turian hierarchy and the krogan clans during the Rebellion, with ships falling from orbit to bring down skyscrapers which had survived 50,000 years. Even before that, the krogan had been on the planet, racing across it to cleanse the city of its rachni inhabitants at the vanguard of the Citadel armies. In the same war, the asari had seen fit to destroy many of the upper structures to deny the insect-like race control of the buildings. The planet was not considered worth colonising, with so many waves of invaders and defenders, it had been stripped bare of its most valuable treasures centuries before. Without the valuable prothean technology, it was really just a realm of fossils, slowly succumbing to the unrelenting ravages of time. Humanity, displaying the blind optimism that many respected and feared, had decided that they would make an effort to colonise it, establish a foothold and scavenge what was left. Confident that the planet had surrendered its most lucrative secrets, the galaxy left them to it.

Now that colony was under attack from Saren and his legions of synthetic followers, fighting for its very survival. A fight it was losing.

As the _Normandy_ dodged and swerved through the artificial monuments to prothean brilliance, Shepard waited in the hanger with her team. The ship kept jerking and shuddering under their feet, the vibrating noise the only sound in the bay. The commander held her weapon close, running a hand along the barrel as she waited to be dropped down. Everyone else seemed to have gone into their own introspective mode as they awaited the imminent battle. Shepard found the nightmare was still replaying over and over again in her head, with each loop bringing a sharper and sharper pain until her brain felt like it ready to break out of her skull. Only a heavy shudder and bump of the ship snapped her out of it as the rather stressed voice of Pressly echoed in her ear,

"Commander, the LZ's too hot. There's too many fighters to hang about."

"Understood Pressly," She replied, "Drop us off and keep them busy as long as you can."

"Aye ma'am."

Her gaze briefly fell to Liara, now dressed in a set of light armour taken from the ships armoury and playing with the pistol at her hip somewhat nervously.

"You ever been in combat before?" She asked quietly.

The woman shook her head.

"Stick close to me." She assured her with a smile, "and you'll be fine." the corners of Liara's mouth twitched in response, a motion that -to Shepard's eyes- was surprisingly and adorably cute. It was a phrase that applied to Liara most of the time, she found, with her blushing, bumbling ways endearing to the human for reasons she couldn't really explain.

_'Stay focused Lauren, now's not the time to wander...'_ the professional kernel of her mind warned. Abruptly, Shepard was brought back to reality. The whine of the _Normandy's_ engines was increasing, the telltale sign that they had gone into reverse for docking.

"10 seconds." Pressly sounded nervous even through the headset, "Go!"

The ramp opened up and Shepard, gripping her weapon so hard her fingers were going numb, leapt forward and onto the stone floor of Feros for the first time. She found some cover and ducked behind it, aware that the rest of her team had likewise fanned out. With a roar of engines, the _Normandy_ backed out of the narrow and vulnerable docking bay before shooting up to the sky, leaving the squad entirely alone in the expansive, seemingly empty building.

At least, that was how it seemed.

"Shepard, movement ahead." Garrus reported over the communicator. She frowned and peered over at his position. The jamming obviously did not affect short range communications.

There was a human heading towards them, running so fast that his feet barely touched the ground. Shepard went to shout but before she could open her mouth, a blast caught him square in the back and sent him flying. The Commander ducked back behind her cover as a score of geth fanned out behind him, their shots filling the air.

"Take 'em out!" She called, firing a burst of her rifle at the same time as Ashley, while Kaidan, Garrus and Tali unleashed tech attacks that had geth exploding like fireworks behind their own protection. A neighbouring synthetic staggered under the force of one such eruption and was abruptly surrounded in blue energy, floating up to the ceiling where his chest was removed by a well-aimed Wrex shotgun burst. Out-gunned and outnumbered, the rest were quickly dispatched.

"Everyone okay?" Shepard called out, waiting for the Lancer to cool down. The response was a series of confirmations and reassurances, "Alright, check the guy."

Garrus and Kaidan slipped out from their cover and headed for the corpse of the running man. While the turian covered, the biotic checked him.

"Dead," he reported glumly, "Looks like one of the colonists."

"Shepard, I can hear gunfire ahead," Garrus added, "the colonists might still be holding out."

"Then we need to move quickly," she signalled to the rest of the team as they began to move cautiously forward. In spite of herself, Shepard felt cautiously optimistic. If even one group of colonists had held out against the geth hordes then any pain they suffered between now and then would be worth it. She had no doubt there would be pain between now and finding the colonists. There always was.

She hated it when she was right.

The group moved quickly up the stairs, Shepard and Ashley in front, Garrus and Wrex behind. They kept their weapons raised as they moved, footsteps crunching against the masonry beneath. Everyone's ears were strained for the tell-tale rambling noise of synthetic language, or the red beam of a sniper scope above. They checked the walls, the roof and the floor for any waiting surprises. As the seconds dragged on, Shepard could feel herself growing more and more tense. They were ahead. She just knew it.

Sure enough, as they turned to climb yet another set of stairs, they heard the shot.

Ashley was just starting to move, covered by Shepard, when the geth appeared. Without seeing, without even really considering, Shepard squeezed the trigger. Her gun roared and jumped in her hand, throwing specks of sand at near relativistic speeds up at their attackers. The offending geth fell back, only to replaced by two more. Crouching behind the stone wall that ringed the stairs, Ashley and Shepard returned fire as more geth appeared. Their fire increased until it was an uninterrupted storm, chipping away the wall behind them and slowly eroding away their protection.

"Shit, we're pinned!" Ashley called back to the others crouching out of view and unable to help.

"Bah! Out of my way, human!" A gravelly voice demanded. Shepard looked over to see Wrex marching forward with shotgun in hand.

"Wrex? What are you doing?" She hissed, "get down!"

The battle-master ignored her. He grumbled something under his breath that the Commander did not pick up before he began to glow with a swirling, blue light. Without the time to even process what he had done, the krogan roared and, with a single, herculean leap, propelled himself off their cover and flew up towards the geth like some reptilian angel of death.

"Jesus, He's going to get himself killed!" Ashley cried. In spite of herself, Shepard poked out of cover to watch.

Fortunately, it seemed Wrex's tactics had caught the synthetics off guard as much as his team-mates. They could not readjust their fire, or their sensors probably, in time before a massive ball of angry, armoured krogan crashed into them and knocked the entire group down, sending their guns scattering in all directions. With another yell, he brought up his shotgun to bear on the corridor filled with geth and fired a single, deafening shot down the cramped tunnel. Shepard could not see the result, but she could hear the unmistakeable noise of machinery disintegrating.

Only now did Shepard's mind catch up with what she was seeing. She gripped her gun, tapped Ashley on the shoulder and moved out of cover. Unlike Wrex, she decided the stairs were the most convenient way of moving between floors. Sweeping the corridor with her weapon, she turned to see Wrex sitting on a pile of sparking, wrecked geth.

There was a long Silence.

"What took you so long?" He demanded, as if it was somehow Shepard's fault.

"A flying krogan. Every geth's worst nightmare," Garrus whistled

"Good god Wrex," Shepard laughed, though it was only when she laughed that she noticed how dry her mouth was, "Can you do that on every floor? It'll save us a lot of time."

Before he could reply, they heard a distinct whistling, increasing rapidly in pitch,  
"Down!" Shepard called, grabbing Liara as she threw herself to the ground and dragging the hapless asari with her. Everyone else hit the dirt just as the wall above their heads disintegrated in a bright yellow flash and a heavy boom that knocked everyone momentarily senseless and showered them in debris. When Shepard climbed to her feet, she was able to see daylight through the gap, the drone of a fighter slowly fading away into the background.

"We need to keep moving!" She hauled the poor, dazed archaeologist to her feet, "come on!"


	33. Chapter 33

As they turned the next corner, they did not run into geth, as might have been expected, but humans. The colonists.

They were not in great condition, huddling in the entrance of a small freighter and clutching a variety of weapons tightly in their hands. The soundtrack of battle reverberated through the air, the sharp rattle of automatic fire from high above, the heavy pings as rounds bounced off the walls or floor, the occasional tremble as a grenade exploded somewhere in the middle of them. The colonists were trapped, only able to occasionally pop out for a wild burst of bravado before another volley forced them to seek shelter once again. Looking quickly, Shepard could see that the roof had disappeared, leaving just a rim of masonry on which the geth were standing, shooting down at will on the badly exposed defenders.

'_Fish in a barrel.'_ She thought grimly to herself. She turned her attention back to the matter at hand; between their cover and the ship was a small patch of open ground, laced with fallen chunks of building that formed a rudimentary cover. It was not great, but unless they wanted to wait until the Alliance reinforcements arrived, they had no choice but to cross it.

"Wrex, Garrus, Kaidan, Ashley, keep me covered. I'm going to make a run for it."

"What?!" Kaidan and Ashley were looking at her like she had proposed moon-walking out, "you cannot be serious!"

"Just keep shooting. Liara, can you give me a little help? Tali, see if you can convince some of them to our side."

With quiet nods, the two aliens prepared themselves; the faint blue and orange glows echoing in the tight space of the corridor. The other four held their weapons close, ready to jump out once Shepard had gone. She took a quick look around each of them to make sure they were ready, then held her own weapon tightly, tensing.

'_Here goes nothing…again…'_

"Ready? On my mark…now!" She pushed away with all the strength she could muster, diving forward for the first boulder as she heard the roars of rifle fire behind her and felt the warm glow as she was encased by a biotic field. She could feel the shots striking off her shields, bouncing off the ground at her feet but she kept going and slid in behind the rock. It had already been badly chipped away by the geth fire, but it would let her catch her breath. She felt a heavy presence land beside her.

"Ash? What the hell…" She angrily demanded as she recognised the white and pink armour of her Gunnery Chief. Ashley did not answer, but popped up from the rock to fire a long burst of Lancer rounds up at their synthetic tormentors.

"Give them something else to shoot at ma'am! My shields are heavier than yours, so I can take more punishment!" She shouted back as a dangerously-close shot took off a golf-ball sized chunk of rock beside her head, "look ma'am! The Colonists are covering you!"

Sure enough, when Shepard turned, she could see the colonists were leaning out of the hatch to shoot up with whatever weapon they had to hand. Combined with the heavier and more accurate protection from her team, it had reduced the geth retaliation to a mere trickle as they were torn apart, thrown off by biotic attacks or, in some strange circumstances, simply stepped off to fall to their deaths.

Shepard seized the moment –taking advantage of adrenaline over common sense- and rushed forward, Ashley on her heels like a faithful guard dog and still shooting. They pushed through the mass of colonists at the hatch and into the safety of the freighter itself.

Inside, conditions looked no better than they had outside. Apart from the half-dozen assorted men and women at the entrance, there were another four laying against the bulkheads, gaunt eyes staring up at them. They were unarmed, but seemed unwounded, nearly catatonic with exhaustion.

"Thank god you came when you did." One of men at the door turned to her, almost gushing in his relief, "they were getting ready for another attack. They were going to overwhelm us."

"Not a problem. I'm Commander Shepard of the SSV _Normandy_, this is Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams. What's your name? What's the status of the colony?"

"Davin. Davin Reynolds." he groaned, "welcome to Zhu's Hope. I'm not one to speak to about the colony though. You should ask Fai-Da-"

"Look out! Krogan!" One of the colonists at the door cried, bringing up a shotgun. Shepard turned in time to see who he was aiming at. Heart in her mouth, she instantly brought her hand up and dragged his gun down as Wrex lurched into the cramped space.

"Relax, he's on our side." she smiled encouragingly at him to counter for the withering look delivered by the Mercenary himself. He was quickly followed by the rest of the party, Garrus bringing up the rear.

"The geth have pulled back Shepard," he reported, "we've got a window if we want to pull the colonists out."

Shepard went to nod in agreement, but Davin jumped in, "What? You can't ask us to abandon our home like this! This is where we belong!"

"It's a death-trap in here," Shepard replied, taken aback by the expression of horror on his face, on all their faces, "you're cut off, the geth have superior position and an infinite number of blind-spots to take advantage of. It's only a matter of time before they overwhelm you."

"If they overwhelm us then fine! I'm not leaving." The others nodded in agreement. Shepard looked into each set of defiant eyes.

"Why?"

"This is our home. You should ask Fai-Dan. He could express it better than I." The others all nodded again. It was actually a little alarming, how perfectly synchronised the motions were.

"Fai-Dan is our leader," another chipped up.

"He is the roots of the colony!"

"Alright, fine," She sighed, rubbing the back of her neck, "where is this Fai-Dan?"

It turned out Fai-Dan was in the centre of the ship surrounded by a few young children along with the wounded, who were lying and groaning softly to themselves. He seemed in rude good health personally, ruddy cheeked with a light stubble and closely cropped hair. He was staring at the door as they approached as if waiting for them.

"My name is Fai-Dan. I am in charge of this colony," he welcomed them in a calm and serene voice, almost as if he was in a trance, "I thank you for clearing the geth. We can hold them from here."

"With all due respect, I disagree." Shepard crossed her arms and frowned, "the geth have too many advantages. An attack half the strength of the last one will overrun you. Your colonists seem reluctant to evacuate." She nodded her head at Davin, "I was hoping you could convince them."

"While I appreciate your assistance Commander we cannot abandon our home."

"So Davin said. Why?"

"If you will not stand up for your home Commander Shepard, what will you stand up for?"

That caught her off balance. It took a second to respond, to overcome the sudden squirming of dormant guilt deep within her soul. When she did reply her voice was much sharper than she had intended,

"How about your children?" She nodded at the young ones who looked up at her with innocent eyes, "how about your family and your friends? Are they not more important than this colony?"

"They are Commander, and I would prefer to keep them here in this armoured hull than take them outside for even a minute unprotected. Regardless of how clear it is. Can you not secure the area?"

"No," she hesitated, "we're only the vanguard. We're looking for their leader. Do you know anything about where the geth are coming from?"

"I know they hit the main ExoGeni colony first. If your man is going to be anywhere I think he'll be there."

"ExoGeni?"

"They fund the colony. We all work for them," the man explained patiently, "as far as I am aware. There are no survivors."

"Great. We'll head there then." Shepard hesitated again, "are you _sur_eyou have to do this? Stay here I mean?"

"We have plenty of food, sufficient water and a well-stocked armoury. I believe we can hold on until further Alliance forces arrive. I understand your concern and I am grateful for it but there are the seeds of something great here and we must let it grow."

"As you wish." Shepard was slightly alarmed by the behaviour of the colonists. Even allowing for the stressful situation they all seemed to be far too artificial. She could feel it in the air around her, the sense that she were in a play and everyone was an actor. She could tell she was not the only one feeling uneasy. Kaidan and Garrus were shifting very uncomfortably beside her and neither would let their gaze rest but instead kept peaking suspiciously at each colonist.

"Excuse me," Liara interjected as the Commander turned away and caught both their attentions. The asari was kneeling beside one of the wounded, an old lady with tightly clenched eyes and gritted teeth, "but this woman does not appear to be wounded. May I ask what is wrong with her?"

Fai-Dan opened his mouth to reply, but his answer was drowned out by a pained cry from the corner of the room.  
"She's still resisting!"

"Sorry?" Shepard looked at him. The voice belonged to a young man with raven black hair and pale eyes that jerked and flicked in every direction. His whole body was trembling and his breathing was slow and steady. He reminded her of someone preparing for a knock.

"She still resists. Just me and her left. Trying to invoke the maste-aaaargh!" His words dissolved into a scream so filled with agony that Liara was at his side in seconds, along with Fai-Dan.

"Ian please! Just lie back and relax." Fai-Dan pleaded but the man burst into maniacal laugher that had Liara backing off warily.

"Relax? I can't relax yet. Not until I get rid of the-aaaaargh," he screamed again ending in more insane laugher, "oh that was a good one! Have to try harder though!"

"Ian!" Fai-Dan signalled to Davin. He and another colonist stepped forward to restrain the now thrashing Ian, babbling and laughing under his breath, "I am sorry Commander. He lost his mind during the attack. A bright young boy. Always too sensitive-"

"Kill it!" Ian screamed so loudly that the children started to cry, "killllllll it!"

"I...okay..." Shepard looked down at the boy, then at Liara. The poor doctor was shaken by the encounter and she could hardly blame her. She felt a little uncomfortable herself "what was he talking about?"

"I would rather not discuss it please." Fai-Dan's own expression was pained. She decided it best to drop it.

"We had best set off. How do we get to ExoGeni?"

"You have to take the sky way. It's too exposed on top but there is a maintenance tunnel running the full length that you can take. It should give you some sort of protection. Davin will show you."

"Thank you, and good luck." She signalled to the group that it was time to move. She was rather glad to leaving the ship.

Considering they were walking towards a geth fortress that was no small thing.


	34. Chapter 34

The maintenance shaft ran through the heart of the skyway, providing shelter from the prowling geth. It was long, slightly inclined and claustrophobic with just enough room for Wrex to fit his considerable bulk without scrapping the walls. It was dimly light, with gaps in the ceiling and walls allowing shafts of light to spill through and catch the thin cloud of dust that pervaded the air. Their footsteps echoed in the long, empty space, like an invisible army charging on ahead and into distance. Every so often there was a slight tremble through the ground as an Armature passed overhead on the skyway itself, unaware of the group moving just below.

"This is a death-trap." Wrex growled unhappily as he glared down the entirely exposed hallway.

"No kidding." Shepard sighed from the front, peering up anxiously as a small scattering of dust fell from the roof with a particularly heavy footfall. The dust trickled down through the air and then through a head-sized hole in the floor, through which she could see only an eternal blue abyss, "I'm waiting for an Armature's foot to come through the roof and it's a _looong_ way down. The floor's like paper here."

"Well I was just worried about the geth but now I'm thinking about plummeting to my death too. Thanks Shepard." Tali sighed from somewhere over her shoulder.

"Don't Quarians bounce?" Wrex chortled.

"Hey, just because you have nothing to worry about," the teenager replied in a somewhat petulant tone, "you'll probably go through the core and land on your feet on the other side."

"_Hey, I saw some movement in the tunnels."_

Shepard paused as the unfamiliar voice filled her headset. It was human, unmistakeably so, overwrought and exhausted even over the airwaves,

"Am I hearing things?"

"I picked it up too Commander." Kaidan replied, "there must be someone close, within range."

"How far are we from the end of the skyway do you reckon?"

"Not very far."

"_I thought I saw them too. Get Jeong to send someone."_

"If they're survivors then we need to speak with them." Shepard decided then and flicked her headset over to public transmission.

"Shepard," Garrus warned, "if you go public we might be picked up by the geth." he looked up anxiously, as if expecting a Prime to come crashing through on top of them.

"Either we tell them we're coming and risk the geth shooting us, or we don't tell them anything and risk _them_ shooting us at the end." The redhead sighed, collecting herself before speaking, allowing Ashley to take her place at the head of the group so she could concentrate the radio, "Check, check. This is Commander Shepard, SSV _Normandy_. Is there anyone on this channel?"

A pause, during which only their footsteps broke the eerie silence, a woman's voice,

"_Hello? Hello? Are you reading me? We're survivors from the main colony. We're held up in a building at the end of the maintenance tunnel. I'll tell the guards not to shoot."_

"Understood." Shepard flicked the channel back to their private frequency, tensing for the geth retribution. When none came, she let her shoulders drop in relief, if only for a moment. She had no idea what state _these_ colonists would be in, or if they would be any easier to deal with. The memories of the Zhu's Hope colonists was still unnervingly fresh.

She could tell that this group were in much better condition than those she had left behind. The guards who greeted her at the exit to the tunnel were armour-clad and sporting battle rifles, if a little weary and baggy-eyed. Beyond the checkpoint, there were two dozen people, most of whom were unarmed and dressed in civilian clothing. They watched the squad emerge, taking a visible step back when Wrex and Garrus appeared in particular.

"Commander?" Shepard recognised the voice and turned to see an elder woman with short brown hair fading to grey, stress-lines crossing her petite features but sharp, intelligent blue eyes.

"My name is Juliana Baynham, thank you for answering our transmission and welcome to Weigh Station. We've been here for a while-"

"Stop talking to her, Juliana!" Shepard stepped back at the angry outburst. She looked over to see a small man striding forward, chest puffing. He had narrow-set eyes that jittered nervously and a small moustache with a nearly shaven head.

"You! Officer!" Shepard blinked, lost for words, "You can't go any further! The Headquarters is property of the Exogeni Corporation."

"Give it a rest, Jeong. The building's swarming with geth anyway. We were lucky to get out as it was." Juliana sighed.

"So the Headquarters is further o-?" Shepard tried to ask but was cut off by the irate Jeong.

"That's not the point Juliana! She has no right to go snooping!"

"Excuse me?" Shepard was caught between a snort and a laugh, "I need to get to the main building."

"Of course Commander. If you take the maintenance tunnel that way," she nodded over her shoulder, "it'll bring you to our main si-"

"Absolutely not, Soldier!"

"I'm sorry, who are you?" The Commander looked at him, perplexed. _What is this guy's problem?_

"Ethan Jeong, Exogeni Site Manager! All artefacts and files within that building belong to the Company soldier so-"

"What artefacts Jeong?" Juliana scoffed, "we haven't found anything! As you keep reminding us."

"We have to make profit, Juliana. It's nothing personal." the man shrugged, "it's bad enough that the colony has been lost."

"Actually, there are some survivors at Zhu's Hope." Shepard jumped in, recalling her meeting with the strange Fae-Dan and his people, "not that they would go anywhere, mind you."

"Good thing too! The tunnels wouldn't support all of them and we are not leaving this position!" Jeong crossed his arms with what he obviously intended to be a decisive gesture but it just made him look like a stubborn child.

"Fine. We'll move in and try to save the colony without breaking any of your stuff." Shepard sighed in clear frustration, brow furrowed at Jeong.

"Thank you Officer." he nodded his head.

"Commander! Before you go...my daughter Lizbeth was at the main colony. I've not heard from her...if you could..."

"Juliana please, you said yourself the geth were everywhere. There'll be time to find our casualties once the geth are gone."

The woman's eyes widened in horror but before she could reply, Shepard stepped forward. The move was simultaneous with Jeong leaping back as if encountering a tiger. Shepard's eyes were blazing with instinctive anger, mouth twisted into a snarl.

"That's too far, Jeong!" the man looked suitably cowed, face blanched and all pretence of control or authority shattered. When the soldier turned back to Juliana, the look had gone, replaced by one of tenderness and concern. "I'll look Juliana, but you understand that my mission takes priority."

"Of course." She whispered, "thank you."

"Move out." Shepard signalled to the others, wisely standing back out of the way, "let's see if we can find Saren."

As she moved off, she couldn't help but think that the Geth would actually be welcome company.

Wasn't that just a depressing thought.


	35. Chapter 35

The trip to the Exogeni Headquarters was unnervingly uneventful. After the activity of meeting the survivors, things had boiled down to a slow, careful trek through the same narrow and hazardous tunnels as before. To Shepard it brought back memories of patrols on the frontier earlier during her career. She could remember trekking through the wilds of some recently colonised and uncharted world, with hostile terrain to every side and her imagination running wild. There were unseen horrors behind every rock, with every turn the prelude to some sort of Eldritch ambush. Often it was just small squads of between four and eight people and, despite the company, it was the most lonely and harrowing job in the entire world. Even thinking about it now sent shudders down her spine. She could almost taste the relief she had felt when they made it back to the colony, exhausted and disgruntled but unharmed. It was always like that, always empty, always quiet and always completely devoid of excitement. It didn't stop the fear. It never stopped the fear.

"Shepard, orders?"

The woman snapped out of her musings to see Ashley looking right at her, eyes curious behind the face plate. They had reached the end of the tunnels and were standing in a large room, possibly a garage of some sort. Large parts of the roof and the wall had caved in, creating great mountains of masonry and stone that piled almost to the ceiling itself. The Commander glanced around, eyes narrowed. The area was still, quiet and yet she could not help but feel the hairs stand on the back of her neck. Something was wrong...

"Cover," She called, ducking for the nearest stone block she could find. The rest of the group moved with her and just in time. No sooner had the last squad member disappeared from view than a variable horde of geth seemed to just pop up from every location with their synthetic, rumbling battle cry, rifles flaring as the blue rounds smashed into their protection, head-lights flashing and moving about in the dankness.

Shepard leant out of cover, not really taking the time to aim but just to fire a burst at their enemies. The Lancer leapt in her hands before she retreated back into hiding again to avoid the inevitable retaliation. The sounds of battle echoed heavily in the confined space, bouncing off the ruined walls to create the atmosphere of duelling gods. The echoing, heavy, feral noise of rifle fire and the mechanical chanting which, when amplified and returned, sounded like the very hordes of hell were marching onto the apocalypse. Shepard risked a peak, blue eyes running over the scene. They could stand and go toe-to-toe with the geth all day but time was against them. Saren could have gotten what he was here for and be on his way, the geth could be regrouping for fresh assaults on the colonists. Time. Time was running out. She could feel it. She felt dizzy. Her head started to throb with the images of that great, black ship crushing Mindoir filled her mind's eye...she was going to be sick...

A round cut through her cover and struck her shields, the energy flashing an angry hue as they protected their charge while the shock of the impact jolted her back to the matter at hand. The geth were well bunkered down in front, a rearguard obviously intended to stop anyone making it any further than this garage. That puzzled her; why had the geth bunked down here and not tried to destroy the survivors at the other end of the tunnel? What were they so afraid of? She started to feel dizzy again...

She shook her head, bringing herself back to reality as a geth overloaded, it's outer shell disintegrating as Tali typed madly on her omni-tool. Garrus was crouching around the cover, shooting off disciplined, controlled rounds while Ashley took advantage to launch a grenade much like a discus. The disk-shaped payload sailed through the air and attached itself to the wall behind a line of enemy synthetics. Garrus ducked back in as Ashley tapped a single button on her wrist. The ground shook as the geth were blown through the air. Despite the casualties, the sheer quantity of fire in their direction did not let up. In front the geth had too much protection and too many numbers. It would take far too long to grind them down.

They needed to find another way...

Her head started to throb again, the pain coming and going as subtly as flicking a light switch. This time she ignored the instinctive effort to think of something else and tried to concentrate on the battlefield. Gritting her teeth against the sharp pain and the screams in her mind, she surveyed the scene and saw a gap. The geth had positioned themselves in the largest pile of rubble, with the various stones and blocks forming perfect bulwarks and battlements to create a small fortress that dominated the space. To the left though, was a smaller pile of rubble stretching the entire width of the garage. There were no geth stationed there. They wouldn't be able to get many people through, two at the most, and they would have to stay down. Once on the other side...her eyes went up to the peak of the geth stronghold.

An idea began to form in her mind.

"Liara, come here!" She was forced to shout even over the radio because of the noise. The asari did as she was told, moving behind the rest of her battling squad mates until she had made it to Shepard's side, eyes wide and hands shaking from a mixture of adrenaline and terror.

"Look," she opened up her radio so the entire squad could hear her speak while pointing out the rubble bank to Liara, "we can flank and take them from behind. You and I will crawl behind that cover and-"

"Me?" Liara's eyes widened further until Shepard was sure they would drop out of her head, "why me? Chief Williams is a better fighter-"

"I need another biotic," Shepard interrupted her impatiently, temper shortened by the throbbing in her temple, "and before you start; I need Wrex's firepower here and Kaidan's tech to keep them pinned down. We don't have the time to sit and debate about it. I'll go first and you follow okay?" Without waiting for an answer, Shepard slipped out of her cover and down onto her front, armour scrapping off the ground.

Liara remained rooted to the spot, watching as the commander crawled on her knees and elbows, moving quickly in spite of the awkward position with only the occasional glance back to see what Liara was doing. With a low, shaky sigh, The doctor lowered herself onto her front and mimicked the human as best she could. Above her the sounds of battle raged unabated, whistling bullets and roaring of weaponry. She kept her head down, eyes closed, trying not to think of how close she was to death, how exposed and vulnerable she was in this position. A feeling Shepard empathised with entirely.

"We're here." Shepard called quietly over the radio, "we're here. Follow me."

The rear of the rubble mountain was entirely clear of geth, who evidently had not expected anyone to make it past them. She charted a path in her head before she started climbing. Even over the sound of the fight, she could make out every single scrape of hers or Liara's bodies brushing and scraping against the stone, sure that each would be the last sound she ever heard. Her head was pounding, like great bass drums playing in her head while her heart thudded wildly and adrenaline flowed through her veins like ecstasy, like a drug she couldn't kick, spurring her ever onwards.

At the top of the pile there was a single, large boulder -the size of a small car- perched precariously at the peak of the pile. It looked fairly steady and no doubt the geth had braced it so that the vibrations of battle wouldn't dislodge it. She doubted they had prepared it for what she had in mind.  
"Liara," the Asari had joined her at the top, still shaking madly, "on my word, I want you to push the boulder okay? I don't think either of us could do it alone." the asari nodded wildly in agreement.

"Okay then; three, two, one, now!" Shepard channelled all her power, drawing on her strength. She felt the familiar tingling sensation running along her arm, like a static charge as she threw her palm forward.

Her head exploded.

She gasped aloud at the sudden, excruciating pain that filled her every conscious thought. She felt her strength desert her, draining away like sand as she stumbled, trying not to fall. Everything was spinning.

She felt a hand take hers and she gripped it hard, as if afraid that letting go would send her spinning away into the black abyss.

"Shepard? Shepard, it's me! You're okay," she heard the voice, a demure female voice filled with concern, like sweet music playing on a Spring breeze. It sounded like the voice of an angel.

Just as abruptly, the pain vanished. Shepard blinked as the sensation of utter collapse fled as the darkness flees the dawn. She was on her knees with her gun lying uselessly beside her. The boulder had been dislodged, just as she had planned, and the behemoth had carved a path through the geth defences. Those that had not been crushed found their protection shattered and were easy pickings for her squad. They were poking through the remains, checking for any activity. Liara knelt beside her, eyes filled with that unique mixture of worry and panic. No sooner had Shepard looked into those eyes that she turned away again, shame washing over her. She got to her feet, trying to stop her knees from trembling, trying to get her breathing under control.

"Shepard, are you-"

"I'm fine." She snapped in reply, then immediately felt a second wave of shame hit her. It was not Liara's fault it had happened. She recognised the voice now; it belonged to the asari, so lyrical and soothing...her only lifeline apart from the hand.

She looked down. They were still holding hands.

Even with the realization, it was a few long seconds before she pulled her hand away, stooping to pick up her weapon. Anything to avoid the uncomfortable silence between them.

"Shepard," Liara licked her lips, "I...I know what happened. It's the beacon...your biotics must have caused an adverse reaction..."

"No kidding." the Commander nodded with a sigh, "I guess I'll have to go easy on the biotics," her shoulders slumped as she pondered her next words, "Liara...don't tell the others." she nodded to the team who were now climbing the rocks to join them on the summit.

She hesitated for a second before nodding, "I won't."

"Thanks." Shepard turned to the group, voice booming and confident, "let's keep moving. I doubt we can sneak up on Saren any more but we can at least chase him down."

There were murmurs of agreement before Shepard signalled and they moved on.

* * *

Their progress was quick with only the lightest of resistance. They passed through offices and canteens of different types littered with the evidence of recent habitation. There were scattered notes and personal items everywhere though, curiously, no bodies. The geth had evidently cleared them out, not in and of itself a comforting thought. Not that Shepard was doing much thinking.

They passed through another office, entirely the same as all the others with desks, computers and great smouldering holes in the wall. Just as she was about to pass through, Shepard spotted something out of the corner of her eye, a flash of movement under one of the desks.

_'Strange, hiding geth?'_

"Who's there?" She called, ordering the team to a halt. They looked around for a moment, bewildered, before the figure emerged with hands up, dressed in the clothing of a civilian. She looked young, pale and shaken with short black hair and blue eyes which twitched to each member of the misfit squad.

"My-my name's Lizbeth," she said, voice shaking, "Lizbeth Baynham. Are you with the Alliance."

"Yes," Shepard nodded her head and approached the woman, who looked like she was about ready to faint. She put a hand on her shoulder to steady her, speaking to her in a soft voice without breaking eye contact, "I'm going to help you get out of here Lizbeth, back to your mother. She's waiting for you with the other survivors."

"My mom's alive? Oh thank god," she sobbed in relief, body going weak. Shepard adjusted her grip and was able to save her from falling, "I thought I was the only one left."

"What were you doing here anyway?"

"I...stayed behind to back up some files when the geth attacked. I saw they'd cut off my escape routes so I just hid here, hoping the geth would move on. I can't believe my mother survived...oh thank you god."

"A few made it out from here and Zhu's Hope is still holding on."

Lizbeth suddenly looked ill and Shepard was forced to lunge out and stop her from falling again.

"Zhu's Hope is still going?" Her gaze jerked left and right, like she was expecting someone to be waiting over her shoulder, "listen...we made a terrible mistake. Zhu's Hope is in danger, so is anyone you send there."

"What? Why?" Ashley stepped forward, brow furrowing as her gaze bore into the woman. Shepard waved her back. Lizbeth had let her head drop, with eyes only for her own feet.

"There's something living under the colony, a plant being called the Thorian. It's been here since before the Protheans. It releases spores into the air that, when inhaled, turn the victim into its slave. Everyone at Zhu's Hope has been infected by them."

"What?!" Ashley nearly yelled, her tone trembling with a righteous fury that Shepard shared, "you were _experimenting_ on these people?"

"It happened by accident! At least at first. Zhu's Hope was quarantined and monitored by the company to study the effects. I was supposed to monitor their heath and safety but when I tried to raise concerns they had me suspended! It's...why I stayed behind. I was trying to send a message to Colonial Affairs when the geth blocked communications-"

"That's what Saren's after." Wrex growled, "That's where he'll be."

"Shepard, the Admiral's going to be sending in troops any minute. If they run into the Zhu's Hope Colonists, it'll be a slaughter." Garrus hissed urgently in her ear.

"We need to take out the jamming field." Shepard agreed with a nod. She had plenty she would like to say to Lizbeth about Exogeni and everything that the company was doing but now was not the time. The lives of the colonists, and any Marines sent in to 'rescue' them, depended on her getting a message to the fleet in orbit, "Lizbeth, do you know anything about the field?"

"No," The young woman replied quickly, obviously keen to demonstrate her co-operation and alleviate the sudden hostility in the air.

"Shepard, there's a geth ship attached to the side of this building...maybe the field is coming from there?" Tali suggested.

"Yes, the geth are resourceful like that. They will link up larger platforms to provide power and hold their programs." Tali spoke slowly, thoughtfully, "a field powerful enough to block atmospheric communications would certainly require a _very_ powerful source."

"Where is the ship?" The Commander frowned.

"It attached to the north side, about level with the hangars. You might be able to find something there."

"Okay, do you know where the maintenance tunnel to Weigh Station is?" She nodded, "then listen closely. Head to the tunnel and get to the station. Your mother and the other survivors are there. There shouldn't be any geth between you and them okay?" She nodded again, "then get going."

"Thank you. Oh wait!" She screeched to halt after just a single step, turned to Shepard and handed her a chip, "take my pass. It might help you get past some of the security locks still in place. I'm sorry I ever took part in this...if there's anything else I can do..."

The Commander accepted the chip, storing it in one of the pockets in her armour, "just find your mother Lizbeth. That's more than enough for now."

The girl ran off, her footsteps slowly trailing away into the silence.

"I knew there was something off with that colony," Garrus growled, "I have some 'questions' for Jeong when we meet again."

"Let's focus on blowing up this geth ship first. We can think about who deserves to be punched later." Shepard rubbed her temple again, frowning to herself and all too aware of Liara's gaze burning into her back. With a quick sigh to herself, she pressed on and wondered what the hell else this planet could throw at her.


	36. Chapter 36

The further into the Exogeni headquarters they went, the more fierce the geth resistance became.

It must have been pretty obvious what their objective was, as every single room and corridor was now a running battle with hordes of synthetics that seemed to crawl out from every crack and shadow in the building. Time and time again, Shepard found herself forced to resort to her pistol as her rifle overheated. Time and time again she went to use her biotics only to stop herself at the last minute. The pain in her head had rescinded to a dull throbbing but the memory of it was going to endure a lot longer. It was not a pleasant sensation. What made it worse was that she had grown used to her biotics over her military career and using them had become second nature. To have that suddenly taken away from her felt like she had had an arm amputated. It was worse than that...when she thought about when she had first discovered them...it was like losing her oldest friend.

"Shepard! Roll!" She heard the warning and instinctively rolled away from her cover as a geth juggernaut crashed down on top of the fallen rock, grinding it to paste under it's vast bulk. Before the impressive behemoth could so much as look up, it was caught in the impressive crossfire of three assault rifles. Garrus, Wrex and Ashley -the latter of whom had shouted the warning- were now far too smart to be caught out by the orbital drops any more. The geth who had tried that particular trick had found out to their cost that it was very much a one-use move.

As the smoking, silver-strained remains of the juggernaut fell heavily against the ground, the other geth attacking them pulled back. Shepard's gaze whipped around to the points where each had disappeared and her hands went for her rifle, anticipating another surprise. None came, "maybe they're tired of throwing themselves in front of our rifles?" Tali suggested hopefully.

"More likely they're preparing for another ambush." was the gruff reply from Wrex. The Commander was inclined to agree. Everyone badly needed a breather but this was not the time to do what people wanted.

"Come on, they'll pin us if we stop. Ashley, you take point and give Wrex a chance to catch his breath. Garrus, you take over from Kaidan at the rear. Tali, how long will it be until you get into their comms?"

"I'm nearly through Shepard. It'll be another five minutes. I'll upload the file when I have it.

"Alright, Tali's hack is going to give us their locations. It should stop them jumping us at every turn. Everyone ready?" Her weapon was still hot in her hands, even through the armour, but it had cooled enough to fire again. That was all she needed, "let's move out."

As the formation began to move again, she caught sight of Liara, nestled in the middle of the group. The asari was blowing hard, her pistol wavering in her hands, "You okay?" She asked.

"I am fine. I am just not used to the exercise," the Archaeologist answered with deep and steadying breaths, "...or the shooting...or the explosions..."

"You're doing great, Liara. This would test even a veteran and you're handling it well."

"Thank you, it means a lot coming from you, Commander," She seemed genuinely pleased with the encouragement though the smile lingered for all of an instant. "How are you? Any more pain?"

"None but then I have just crippled myself," the Commander sighed. Her temples were throbbing but it was nothing serious and certainly not compared to the blinding pain of when she had tried to use her biotics. She was worried about it, massively so, but it would be a cold day in hell before she would let the asari see that.

As it was, Liara did not look overly convinced by her assurances but was not willing to force the issue. They moved in silence, the threat of a geth providing the perfect excuse to avoid speaking on the matter further. The first voice to speak up again was Ashley reporting from the front of the group.

"Ma'am, you might want to see this."

Shepard eased her way past Liara without looking, dodged past the bulky form of Wrex and slipped in beside Ashley. The human was kneeling behind cover and glancing around at what appeared to be a massive metallic claw that had embedded itself in the wall. It was clearly geth and clearly fastened securely to the wall.

Convening the squad she explained what she had seen and opened up the floor to suggestions on how to destroy it.

Silence followed as everyone considered the problem.

"Explosives?" Garrus suggested.

"Wouldn't that bring the building down around our ears?"

"...maybe...worth a try still?"

"No."

"It's ship armour. We don't carry anything that could dent it." Tali sighed, "maybe we can convince the ship to detach itself?"

"How? Ask it nicely?" Ashley scoffed.

"How long would that take?" Shepard looked into that translucent mask.

"Not long. I already have access to their communication protocols. In theory, one flick of a button and it's done."

"'In theory'?" Ashley did not look convinced.

"Okay, maybe it's a little bit more complicated than that but I can do it!" Tali went from flustered to determined in the same sentence. "Just give me a few minutes."

"Okay, fan out and establish a perimeter. Protect Tali while she works. They'll be all over us the minute they work out what's happening so stay sharp." the team nodded and broke up with each moving to cover a different part of the hallway or the ceiling. Shepard checked her Lancer to make sure it had fully cooled before checking the sights. She hated the quiet before a fight. It gave too much time to think. She was almost praying for geth to appear when she picked up the familiar chattering of machine language.

Garrus' call of 'geth! Twelve o'clock' was barely needed as the redhead had fired a burst the moment the synthetic had turned the corner. It was blown against the wall in a shower of silver blood with the rest taking cover behind the corner.

From that second on, there was no time to think at all.

Shepard had expected the geth to respond to their hacking attempts but she had not believed they would come in the numbers they did. It seemed like there was a flood of synthetics pouring from every crack in the building like ants swarming to protect their nest. All the concentrated fire from the squad was barely slowing them down while the return bursts grew thicker and thicker until it was like a barrage of hail striking their cover. The noise was biblical, with so many guns going off in such a confined space, mixed with Wrex's battle-cries and the screams of dying drones, it sounded like the very planet itself was roaring in anger. The air was saturated with thick, choking brown dust so that only the sinister white eyes of the geth ranks and the flashes of their rifles were visible.

Shepard's squad fired burst after burst into the cloud without the need to even aim such were the numbers against them. Above them, geth hoppers attempted to climb through a hole in the ceiling, only to be repelled time and time again by Garrus' well aimed sniper fire. Kaidan had abandoned his biotics for an assault rifle, as exposing himself for even a second risked perforation with geth energy fire. Liara had likewise realised the folly of biotic attacks so she was just firing her pistol blindly over her cover without care where the shots ended up.

"How long Tali?" Shepard barked into her radio as another sweep of rifle fire brought down an entire rank of geth, only to have them to replaced in moments by yet more attackers, "getting a bit tricky here."

"Just another thirty seconds Shepard!" The quarian replied hotly, her long, slender fingers a blur as they shot over her omni-tool.

"Oh shit...Commander, we've got a problem up top!"

Shepard looked up and, without even realising she had done it, swore at the top of her voice.

The hole through which the hoppers had been crawling was now empty. Empty, but not abandoned. Chunks of it were breaking off, the ceiling cracking and breaking as if subject to a heavy weight. Though the gap peered the great, bulbous head of a geth Prime.

Before Shepard could move, before she could warn her squad, the ceiling gave way. The Prime fell to ground like an asteroid striking the earth beside Tali, throwing her off her feet. The quarian backed away, scrambling on her hands and feet from the massive geth lumbering over her with Garrus' shots pinging off its shields. The tank wasn't even going to shoot her. It wanted to crush its creator with a great fist, one more act of vengeance against the slender girl three hundreds too young for blame.

Shepard did not think. There was no time to think. All she could do was listen to her instinct as she leapt towards Tali. She could see the victorious Prime drawing back its fist, fingers clenched in a surprisingly human gesture. She could see Tali raise her arms in a futile effort to protect herself. As the synthetic punch came down, Shepard threw out a hand of her own, sliding between the geth and her squad mate. The last thing she saw was a blue curtain of energy between her and the Prime before her vision exploded in stars, a knife-like pain ripping through her mind as if it were a roast ham. She was faintly aware of a big blurry shape jumping over her form and colliding with the Prime but then it all faded to black.

When she came to, Kaidan was kneeling over her. It was only when she looked into his eyes that she realised she was lying on her back with the rest of the team around her. To a man, they looked shaken. Kaidan's face in particular was paper-white as he reached out a hand. Her entire body hurt, with even her muscle throbbing. There was also a distant ringing in her ears that made it hard to focus her gaze on anything for more than a few seconds before her vision began to swim.

"Commander, how do you feel?" Kaidan asked as he stretched out a hand to touch her. There was a blue spark and he quickly pulled his hand away as if he had been shocked, "your biotics are going mad..."

"Mmm'kay..." she tried to say, speech slurring a little as her tongue stubbornly refused to kick into gear. She waited for a couple of seconds, eyes closed, then tried again, "I'm okay. It's nothing serious." She felt like she was going to be sick but she wouldn't let them see that. "Where's the Prime? Where's Tali?" Her eyes swung around as she sought the Quarian. The young woman was standing towards the back of the group, fingers playing nervously with one another. Liara stood with a hand on her shoulder though it looked like she was trying to stop the Engineer from fainting. The Prime was beside them, riddled with bullet holes, scorched by tech attacks, torn by biotics and, strangest of all, dented and broken by what looked like fists.

"The Prime's gone Commander," Ashley answered, her own face pale, "Wrex held it down while we finished it off." Wrex was watching the human keenly, a new and freshly-patched wound below his left eye.

"And the ship?" Shepard sighed, bringing a hand to her own forehead and batting away Kaidan's.

"Tali's hack worked. The landing gear detached before the geth could warm their engines up. We just heard the thud. The geth all dropped dead. They're completely non-functiona-"

"Hello Commander."

She jumped at the voice, hand dropping to the holster at her side as she heard the deep and rumbling voice of her enemy in the air, amused. The rest of the squad looked around wildly, trying to locate the source of the voice.

"Ma'am," Ashley indicated to a nearby console screen, where the full, half robotic face stared, blue eyes fixed on her,

"You were too slow Commander. I must say I am disappointed. If I had known you would stop at Zhu's Hope and Weigh Station, I might have made more of an effort to wipe them out. As you can no doubt tell, I am long gone from Feros. Your fleet made a nice effort but sadly for them, no luck."

"I'll catch up with you yet Saren, if it's the last thing I do." She snarled at him, not particularly interested in snarky talk or banter.

"I highly doubt that Commander. My mission is far too important to be stopped."

"Oh yeah, and what is that mission?"

"You show your ignorance, Shepard. Even after what you have seen from the beacon, you still don't understand."

"What don't I understand, Saren?"

"That what I'm doing is the _only_ way to save this galaxy."

"Attacking human colonies is saving the galaxy?"

"Humanity is just one of the species that my actions will save, little as they deserve it."

"Oh save it? Shall I tell the orphans and widows of Eden Prime that you were on an act of mercy?"

"Spectres need to make sacrifices, Shepard. I did what was needed."

"Justify it how you will Saren, you're nothing but a cold-blooded murderer and I am going to see you pay for it."

"We will see Commander. We will see." The connection was cut, leaving only a blank screen.

"Get me a radio." Was the Commander's immediate response, her hand automatically going to her ear only to find her helmet had been removed, "now!"

Her helmet appeared very quickly. She grabbed it and slipped it on, blowing aside a strand of auburn hear that had slipped down into her face. It was the work of a few moments for her to get the radio working, the buzz of the geth jammer gone.

"_Normandy,_ this is Commander Shepard. Are you reading me?"

"Commander? It's Pressly. The geth fleet is pulling back. Admiral Hackett is about to land forces-"

"-no, stop him Pressly!" Shepard urged into the mic, "something's happened to the colonists. If he lands his men, it'll be a slaughter."

Pressly hesitated, "I'll try to convince him to hold off ma'am. I won't be able to keep him long."

"Thanks Charles, I owe you one." She really wanted to stop talking as she could feel her stomach turning over, "try to buy us half an hou-"

"-is there anyone on this frequency?! Hello, are you there Commander Shepard?" The desperate voice cut across her transmission. The voice of Juliana Baynham echoed in her ear, every bit as desperate as her own had been. "We need your help! Jeong has gone mad, he's going to destroy the colony at Zhu's Hope and-" the transmission was cut.

Lumbering to her feet, Shepard wished her stomach would stop bouncing up and down and her hands would stop shaking. Her rifle was on the ground nearby and she grabbed it. The very motion made her head swim. She stumbled a little.

Kaidan caught her, "Ma'am, you're not well. I request permission to take control of the squa-"

"-Permission denied," She sighed breathlessly, breaking out of his hold. "I'll be okay."

"Ma'am, I-"

"-fall in, Lieutenant. Now." her nostrils flared.

"You're not capable of command-"

"I am perfectly capable of command, Lieutenant Alenko!" She snarled at him, "_I _am _fine_. _I_ am an Alliance Officer, _I_ am a Council Spectre, _I_ am charge of this mission and _I_ am _not_ too injured to do my job. Do I make myself clear soldier?"

"Aye, ma'am." The Sentinel replied stiffly, stepping back. The others had been watching wearily, like friends caught in a fight between two siblings. Only now did they come forward, but they looked no less worried than Kaidan did.

Shepard could feel the regret blooming inside her as soon as he had stepped back but she was running on adrenaline and the fear of what was slowly destroying her body. The loss of her biotics and the embarrassment of what had happened were just a little too much. Instead she turned on her heel and headed back the way they had came.

"Shepard," it was Liara, her voice low and worried, "perhaps you should step down..."

"I can't Liara," She sighed, "I just...can't..." there were too many reasons why she couldn't step down, most of whom she couldn't even really put into words. Rather than try, she just pressed on.

She still had a colony to save.


	37. Chapter 37

The journey back through Exogeni was tense. Though the geth had been eliminated by the destruction of their ship, no one was able to relax. Shepard could feel the tingling through her body as if she had pins and needles in every muscle. Not being able to use her biotics had been bad but this was even worse. It was the sense that she had lost control and in more ways than one. She could sense the eyes of the team burning into her back every few seconds though no one but Liara had had the courage to speak to her yet. They hung back and kept their surly silence to the point that Shepard was about ready to yell just to disrupt the silence. It was making her twitchy and playing havoc with her nerves, not helped by the splitting migraine that had developed. She knew she shouldn't blame them for staying back, attempting to speak to her right now would be akin to touching a wounded tiger, and she was touched by their concern. It did not make up for the fact that Kaidan had tried to relieve her of her position. The nerve! Every time she thought about trying to patch it up with him, she got the mental image of his face, expression serious, lips moving to those infamous words, _'not capable of command...'_

She'd show him. She'd show them all.

They made it back to the tunnels much quicker this time, mostly thanks to several security doors that opened to Lizbeth's security pass. Then they were back in the tunnels, as still and eerie as ever. If anything, the disappearance of the geth made things even worse, as now there was utterly nothing to remind them that they were not the only souls on a planet of ghosts, blood and suffering.

"Commander, _Normandy._" Shepard jumped as Pressly's voice filled her head. Mentally berating herself, she put a hand up to her mic.

"Go ahead, Pressly."

"Admiral Hackett has troops standing by ma'am, but he's agreed to give you all the time you need."

"Good work Pressly. I'll send word when it's all clear." She flicked the channel off. They were approaching Weigh Station now. That meant dealing with Jeong and Exogeni, who had now suddenly decided that their poor employees at Zhu's Hope had become more trouble than they were worth. She knew even before entering what had happened. Exogeni had been informed that the Alliance would soon be swarming all over Feros and wanted their dirty little secret destroyed. Only with the jamming field up, the warning had just come through now. She felt the indignant rage, fuelled by her own fears and memories. Zhu's Hope was blameless in all this, guilty only of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Now faceless corporates above their heads were playing god, passing down judgement on who should live and who should die. She made a promise to herself, a promise that was sealed by a single hand coming up to her chest, where her locket sat beneath the shell of armour. If there was anything she could do to save the colonists of Zhu's Hope then she would not hesitate.

The first sign that things had not quite right was when they reached Weigh Station and found that the entrance to the post was unguarded. Slipping up to the end of the corridor with a quick hand signal, Shepard peaked around the corner.

Most of the surviving Exogeni Security Guards were standing in two ranks close to the other exit, the one heading for Zhu's Hope. The surviving scientists were pressed up against the back wall, huddling together for protection while two more guards stood watch over them with rifles.

Jeong was pacing in the centre of the space, his hands on his head while Juliana and her daughter stood, trembling with rage and guarded by yet another Mercenary.

"-for the love of god Jeong, those are people at that colony! You can't just kill them!" Juliana was shouting.

"Just give me a minute, I need to think!" He cried back, wring his hands in exacerbation.

"There are woman and children there Jeong, please don't do this." Lizbeth begged, "there's another solution."

"It's too risky! The Company is clear-"

"-to hell with the Company and to hell with you, Jeong, you spineless coward!" Juliana spat.

That snapped something in the Corporate's mind. Spinning effortlessly, he caught Juliana with a clean backhand, a snap that rung out in the confined space. Juliana fell back, hand going to her swelling cheek and looking up at the man in shock.

"Mom!" Lizbeth knelt by her mother, glaring up at Jeong, "you scumba-"

"Alright! Alright, I think that's a wrap everyone, good show." Shepard emerged from her hiding place, accompanied by her squad. The reactions were almost comic. The Mercenaries turned this way and that while the scientists squealed. Juliana did a double take while Jeong turned with raised fists. When he saw who it was, his hands dropped uselessly to his sides as he had turned to find a panther lumbering towards him.

"S-Shepard!" He squeaked, voice breaking for a moment before hardening again, "damn, I should have known it was too much for the geth to kill you."

"Yeah, they've been trying for a while now. Hasn't stuck." As she spoke, Shepard was engulfed in a blue aura, catching the very air around her as if aflame. The Scientists gasped and Jeong took a terrified step back. Simultaneous with this, Wrex and Garrus moved forward. The Mercenary standing over Juliana decided discretion was the better part of valour and got out of the way, "now what is this about killing colonists?"

"Stay out of this Shepard! I did some digging in the Company database when you were gone. Hero of Elysium, Champion of humanity blah blah! We don't need your heroics here!" Jeong started forward again but a look was enough to throw him back as surely as any punch.

"Juliana?" She turned back to the scientist pulling herself up off the floor.

"An order came through from Exogeni when you took down the field. They want the colony at Zhu's Hope purged. They want Jeong to send in the guards and slaughter them all!"

"It's not as simple as that, Juliana! There's something more important in Zhu's Hope than a few colonists." Jeong was wringing his hands.

"I take it you're referring to the Thorian?" Shepard crossed her arms.

"You...you know about that?" The manager looked as though he was about to faint.

"I do, and soon so will the entire Alliance."

"Oh god. Look Shepard, I-I was only following my orders..."

"Of course, because that excuses _everything_," she snorted down at the cringing whelp of a man.

"What is going on?" Juliana looked from one to the other blankly.

"I'll explain later, mom. All you need to know is that there's a psychic plant-creature living under Zhu's Hope that has enslaved all the colonists there. That's what Exogeni doesn't want found. They think the only way is to kill the colonists but there is another way!"

"What is it, Lizbeth?" Shepard looked at the younger woman, fidgeting nervously.

"The colonists are only under the Thorian's control when they're conscious. If you could just knock them out then you could neutralise them..."

"Oh sure," Jeong sneered, "just walk up while they're blazing away and give them a light tap on the head. It's suicide, none of my men will do it!"

"We'll go." Shepard glared at Jeong, who's response died in his throat with a mere whimper, "My team and I stand a better chance than your second-rate soldiers and I need to get to the Thorian anyway. Hold down here until I send word." The Guards seemed much keener on this idea.

"What's the point anyway? The Colony's dead, the Thorian was the only thing keeping it going."

"And Exogeni is going to pass up the chance to play the saviours of this colony? The benevolent company righting wrongs and leading the charge of human expansion?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Yes! ...no...wait..."

"Think of all the publicity."

"Yeah...no one ever went broke playing the 'saviour-of-humanity card' before." Jeong stroked his chin, "alright. We'll sit back and let you do your job."

"Glad you saw some sense for once," she pushed past him, taking a sadistic pleasure in seeing that he flinched away from a biotic spark, then nearly fainted at a heavy glare from Garrus. The rest of the squad followed, with Wrex departing with a snarl, following by a gruff laugh as the two Mercenaries closest to him nearly hit the ceiling.

"Commander, are we really going to walk into gunfire and try to knock them out?" Ashley asked as they headed back towards Zhu's Hope, "I mean, much as I hate to admit it, Jeong had a point. It's suicide."

"Jeong has no idea how desperate the colonists are. We do," She replied, voice petulant from both her earlier confrontation with Kaidan and a reluctance to admit that anything Jeong said was right, "we just need to be smart. Alright everyone, listen up. We're on a mission of mercy here so no gunning down the colonists, no matter how much they fire at you. We are only trying to knock them out, not kill them. Understand?"

There were murmurs of affirmation but no one seemed happy. She did not blame them. Walking into gunfire with nothing but her shields and armour to protect her went against every instinct in her body. The Colonists may have been reduced to only pistols and shotguns but both could still kill. She knew they were thinking back to Kaidan's argument, wondering if he had had a point. She tried to ignore it. If anyone on her squad was killed because of her orders...she shook her head to clear it. She had made a promise. She intended to keep it. That was all. It hadn't gotten to her...

* * *

"Damn it Wrex, be careful with them! I said _knock_ them out, not _break_ them!" Shepard called as she ducked just in time to avoid a colonist thrown like a rag doll over her head.

"Haha! This is _fun!_" The battle-master laughed with a genuine and rather disturbing enjoyment. The colonists were swarming him, trying to pin the war machine down with about as much success as could be expected when unarmoured and unarmed humans tried to beat down a multi-hundred kilogram Krogan. Littering the ground at their feet were the pistols and shotguns that made up Zhu's Hope's armoury, stunned into useless by three brilliant pieces of hacking. Tali was still staying out of the fight, hugging the sides and protected by Kaidan as her omni-tool blazed on her arm, destroying any hardware the colonists tried to use. Shepard had hoped that would be it but, given the news about the Thorian, she was entirely unsurprised when they charged with clenched fists and madness in their eyes. Garrus had not been lying when he had said it would be a slaughter. She hadn't even needed to resort to her biotics yet.

Another colonist came running towards her, bellowing at the top of her voice with all the tactics of a wounded gorilla. They had all done that, as soon as their weapons were disabled, all come charging out of the ship like a medieval army. Shepard flowed around the woman like water, easily deflecting her clenched fist and knocking her to the ground with a swift-backhand to the cheek. Liara was staying close by her, using biotics and their own tactics against them. Shepard could not deny how effective it was to simply lift a colonist and let them float away harmlessly to crumble into one of the walls. Garrus meanwhile was being quick but clean, chopping them down with moves only the turian military could have taught. Ashley was likewise quick and brutal, slicing and chopping with moves the Spectre recognised from the Alliance hand-to-hand handbook. All in all, it was proving quite simple. She had not even been forced to resort to the stun grenades on her belt.

"I think that's the last of them." Garrus chinned a rather clueless looking Davin Reynolds who collapsed like a falling tree.

"No, we haven't found Fai-Dan yet," Liara sighed, rubbing her cheek were one of the colonists had gotten a lucky hit.

"Or..." Shepard felt her heart sink as she heard the sound of high pitched voices scream their battle cry. A half-dozen children came running from the ship, fists balled up and faces twisted with a rage not their own.

"Don't touch them!" She bellowed at her squad. Not that she needed to. As one they took a step back, going into defensive stances but clearly unwilling to hit the charging minors.

"Liara, Kaidan, Wrex, what can you do?" the three stepped forward and raised a hand each. Abruptly the children stopped as they were encased in a blue bubble and rose gently from their feet. Furious at the sudden development, they kicked and gnashed, swinging their limbs as they were guided back into the ship. There was a compartment door open and the children were guided inside, still protesting furiously even as Shepard sealed the door. She could hear their little fists pounding from the other side but they would never get through. Not when Tali brought her omni-tool up again and secured the lock.

"Where's Fai-Dan?" Ashley frowned, looking around, "did one of us get him?"

"Shepard..."

She spun on the spot, hand going automatically to the pistol on her belt. There he was, Fai-Dan was staggering towards her, his face even more worn than before, the strain showing in every sinew of his body. He was holding a pistol.

"I..I tried to fight it," he gasped, "but it gets in your head..."

"Fai-Dan, put the gun down." She warned, her own weapon aimed on him, unflinching, "we're fixing this. Fight it."

"You don't understand. This was our home, I was their leader. I was supposed...to protect them," his arm twitched, "I let this...happen," another twitch, "it wants me to kill you." the hand started to rise, "but I won't."

"Fai-Dan-" The redhead started.

"I won't!" The gun whipped up to his own head and in a flash of brilliant light his head disintegrated. Shepard turned away at the last minute, knowing what was coming. Some of the others were not so quick.

Liara screamed. A high pitched sound alien to the battlefield. She was shaking, eyes wide and unblinking, staring at the bloody remains of the human colonist. Shepard did know if an asari's face could pale but it looked damn familiar to her.

"Find where that thing is." She ordered Kaidan. The Lieutenant nodded and ducked inside the ship, taking Wrex and Tali with him, "and cover him." Ashley and Garrus split up.

She went over to Liara, the asari rooted to the spot as if frozen in time, a monument to the horror and utter futility of war. Even when Shepard called her name she remained fixed. Undaunted, the Commander tried again,  
"Liara!" That got her attention. Her head snapped around and suddenly those eyes were on _her_. They were so hollow, so empty and lifeless...she remembered when they had held hands on top of the rock, the look of warmth and concern she had seen then. This could not be the same person...

"Liara," she murmured softly to her, a hand going up to caress her cheek gently. She felt so cold, "look at me. Look at me. You're okay. You're alright." Liara threw her arms around her, clenching tightly around her back. It was all she could do to hold on, twisting slightly so when the Asari looked over her shoulder, she would not see Ashley and Garrus covering up Fai Dan's remains with a large sheet. There was nothing they could do for the growing pool of blood.

"Commander?" Kaidan poked his head out from the hatch, "we've found the access point. It's-oh," he stopped as he saw the pair hugging, "I'll...uh...I'll just open the door then?"

She did not reply, arms wrapped around the shaking Archaeologist, whispering comfortingly into her ear. Only after she had stopped trembling did Shepard part, looking her critically in the eye. The same gaunt look was there but there was more warmth, the faint glow of an ember ignited in her soul again, "you going to be okay?"

"Yeah," She nodded, inhaling deeply as she stepped back, "yeah." She picked her gun up and refused to look in Fai-Dan's direction.

With a whine, the ship began to move. The four of them watched as one of the compartments seemed to lift up on landing legs to reveal a passageway directly underneath.

"Damn, they parked their ship on top of it?" Ashley whistled.

"Makes sense to me. What better protection could they give it?" Garrus frowned as Kaidan, Tali and Wrex jumped from the now exposed corridor and hovered close to the entrance.

"Alright, the thing we want is down those steps." Shepard sighed, looking down into the darkness, "if it can talk, we talk to it. If it has some way of communicating, we find it. Saren wanted this thing dead and I want to know why." Her heart sank as she thought of the rogue Spectre, no doubt fleeing with the rest of the geth fleet. They had been too slow to get here, too slow to close the net.

Well, maybe she could undo some of that damage.

"Commander? Weapons free?" Kaidan asked.

In response her hand went to the holder on her back, fingers clenching around the closed up rifle. It unfolded as she brought it around with precise, mechanical hisses, the light flashing blue to signal it was armed.

"Weapons free."


	38. Chapter 38

**AN:** Dunno why I feel like sharing this, but I'm going to. Normally what I do is write my chapters into OpenOffice (a free version of Microsoft Office for those who don't know) and then c & p it into the document manager. Now normally, I then dutifully go through and edit the file, deleting all the weird spacing that it puts in. Today, for this special long chapter (horaay for longer chapters!) it was at the end of a very long day so I thought 'meh, I'll leave it as is'.

Of course, only when I go and check the preview do I notice that it automatically takes the weird spacing out...

...FML...

Anyways, hope you enjoy the chapter and, as always, feedback is welcome!

* * *

Shepard shivered as they descended further into the lair of the Thorian. The temperature dropped like a stone the moment they disappeared from the warmth of Feros' sun but that was not the main cause of the chills running through her spine. They were descending towards the Thorian, a being that had existed since Prothean times, survived the fall of their Empire and was now possibly dealing with Saren. For all she knew, she was walking into an inevitable death and bringing her team along for the ride.

Of course, Shepard was dying anyway.

She had not collapsed again since the last use of her biotics, the torment that racked her body the second time enough of an incentive to override even her instincts. Even so, it was like a constant presence in her mind, a thought she could not shake no matter how hard she tried. It was no longer a case of diverting her attention any more because it was always there, a blot on the camera lens, the smear on the painting. It came hand-in-hand with a deep throbbing behind her eyes, a building pressure like someone very slowly blowing up a balloon inside her head. It did not take a medical education to tell that she might not have long left perhaps not enough time to finish her mission. Death, in and of itself, did not scare her. Since the age of sixteen, Lauren Shepard had grown up amongst death. First with Mindoir, then through eleven years of hard service with the Marines, death had ever been her shadow. She had long since come to terms with it. It was not death itself that frightened her, but rather the thought of dying with her mission incomplete. Saren had to be stopped and it was her task. To think that she would not complete the task assigned to her was a greater fear than anything else, the fear that she would disappoint all those relying on her.

This thought spurred her on through the dank corridors. If anything, this was worse than it had been on the upper floors of Zhu's Hope, as those had at least looked like someone had passed through recently. In comparison, the passageways leading into the lair of the Thorian might have been last traversed by the Protheans themselves. There was a thick layer on dust that settled on every surface while the air was stale and dry, unnaturally still. It reminded her of the old horror movies she had watched in her youth, with exactly the same, impenetrable air of tension surrounding the party.

"So...the Thorian," Ashley broke the silence over the radio, "what's the plan, Commander?"

Shepard was grateful for the distraction, "we find out what Saren wanted. When we're finished, we find a way to free the colonists from it."

"With bullets?" Garrus asked.

"If necessary."

They were coming to an opening at the end of the corridor as Tali scoffed,

"Oh come on, it's just...a..." her declaration died in her throat as they emerged into the centre of a large chamber. It was not the chamber itself that had so convincingly halted her but the thing that hung from the ceiling.

It was a plant, though calling it such would have been doing it a disservice. It resembled a giant pustular mass, anchored to the walls around it with tendrils. Its curvy lines, narrowing towards the bottom almost resembled a long, wise face. There were no eyes on the juddering, moving mass, just four empty voids carved into the surface while instead of a mouth there seemed to be tendrils falling from an opening on the very bottom. Even in the darkness it seemed to shine as slime fell in giant rivulets down its form to fall away into the inky darkness below. It looked like it was _staring _at them...

"Keelah...that's a plant?" Tali finished her sentence with considerably less bravado than she had started.

Shepard though, could think only one thing.

"...we are going to need _bigger_ guns."

"Heh, I could still take it." Wrex grumbled.

"Want to rethink your strategy a bit, ma'am?" Kaidan murmured in her ear.

The Thorian shuddered. The party took a step back, weapons coming up as one as the creature heaved and retched, the entire head shaking in the air.

"Uh...is it being sick?" Garrus whispered.

"No...but I might be," Liara sighed, her voice slightly faint.

To the Commander it looked less like it was being sick and more like it was giving birth. She saw the tendrils move, flicking and waving as a waterfall of foul-smelling fluid leaked from the...mouth of the plant. Hot on its heels were a pair of feet. Those feet were connected to a pair of long, armour-clad legs then up to a chest, ending with a green-faced asari who landed neatly on the ground in front of them. Her eyes were dull and lifeless, her expression stuck in a permanent frown.

"Uh...it's a girl?" Garrus frowned.

"I am _definitely_ going to be sick." Liara groaned.

"Invaders!" The asari cut over the Archaeologist as she turned away, "your every step is a transgression. A thousand feelers appraise you as meat, good only to dig and decompose. I speak for the Old Growth as I did for Saren. You are within and before the Thorian. It commands you be in awe."

_'Well, it certainly made an impression,'_ Shepard thought as she tactfully ignored Liara's retching over her shoulder.

"You gave something to Saren. Something I also need." She replied, rifle by her side. No one else seemed particularly keen to lower their weapons though.

"Saren sought the knowledge of those long gone. The Old Growth listened to flesh for the first time in the long cycle. Trades were made, but then the Cold ones started killing the flesh that would tend to the next cycle. Flesh fairly given. Saren betrayed the Old Growth!"

"Yeah, you'd be amazed how often he does that." The human folded her arms, "you'd almost think he was evil or something."

"The very air you push is lies. The Old Growth will no longer deal with those who scurry, those who seek to kill its Flesh. Your lives are short, but have gone on too long." The green asari went to throw her hand forward but, before she could so much as twitch, she was hit by a wave that knocked her clean over the edge and into the darkness.

"Nice one Wrex," Shepard looked at him.

"Bah, asari talk too much. Well, most of them. Isn't that right Doc?" he slapped Liara on the back, the woman still bent over.

"Please don't do that." she asked weakly, eyes on the ground.

They were interrupted by a cacophony of primal groans and cries from the next room over. Garrus, closest to the door, spun on the spot,

"Shepard! We've got...uh...things incoming!"

The 'things' he referred to resembled the human form in the loosest possible shape. Thin and brittle looking, they were covered in a lime-green fungus with sunken holes were the eyes, mouth and nose should have been while their hands ended in long talons. Shepard was again reminded of the horror films of her youth, the uncanny valley zombies that would have chased the heroes all over the town, killing them one by one.

Liara looked up, "Oh...goddess..." she turned away again.

For all their intimidating appearance and noises, they proved laughably vulnerable to fire as a single volley felled the entire party, tearing them into pieces of twig with limbs flying off in every direction.

"Commander! Look up there," Ashley was pointing into the room where the zombies had attacked from, "you see that pod? It looks like it's supporting a lot of weight."

It clicked immediately, "good call Chief! Everyone, rip it up." She aimed down the barrel of her rifle and squeezed the trigger. The combined firepower of the party tore the bulb clean from the wall, bringing a pain-filled scream from the centre of the chamber.

"I think we hit a sensitive spot." Garrus pointed out somewhat dryly as one of the long, thick tendrils holding the Thorian in place seemed to lose all tension.

"Come on, there's more of them in here!" She pointed to more bulbs dotted along the wall, "take them down! And be careful, looks like our mate is barfing up a whole asari platoon."

"He's not the only one." Liara gulped.

One by one, they focused fire on the thick nerve centres of the Thorian and one by one they came away. Like cutting strings holding down a balloon, one by one they lost tension and the Thorian's position became ever precarious. It fell a metre first, then another as its supports gave out on the creature. More and more of the strange abominations appeared but the narrow corridors funnelled them into perfect killing zones for Wrex and Tali's shotguns along with Kaidan's biotics. The asari were likewise unable to advance. The first few that appeared were promptly thrown or kicked down into the shadows. Eventually the Thorian learnt and started dropping them on the floor below. Unfortunately, that brought them nicely into Wrex's cone of fire with the rest of the thralls.

"Shepard! My gun's about to melt here!" Wrex roared over the din of his own volleys.

"Ten seconds longer Wrex! One more and it's gone!" Shepard called, her cheek burning from the hot metal she had pressed against her helmet. It was a familiar feeling, one that she welcomed like an old friend, the feeling of the battlefield. She could see one final bulb but it was a very narrow corridor in which to hit it. Her aim was wavering, her strength sapped by the battles both without and within. Every time she tried to look down the barrel, she felt a stab in her head.

"Shepard! My gun's about to melt here!" Wrex roared as he unleashed another thundering shot, carrying

three Thralls over the edge in a hail of shrapnel.

"Alright," she stared at the small piece of bulb she could see. It was an impossible shot, even given her exhaustion and mental state. There had to be some way of getting to it...She looked over the edge to the Thorian itself and the bottomless pit that separated them. It was too far jump, but...

"Liara! Can you lift me?" She called to the asari.

"W-what?" Liara looked understandably confused and not a little alarmed.

"When I say now, lift me. Okay?" The blue-skinned woman looked no less confused but there was no time to explain it in more detail, mostly because she didn't know yet how it was going to work out in her own head. With a deep sigh, she gathered herself and took a running leap towards the massive plant lurking in the void. As soon as her feet left the ground, she felt a warm glow as she was encased in a field of biotic energy and suddenly she was floating over the gap, struggling to keep herself straight as her legs tried to lazily drift up over her shoulders. But...something was wrong. She was trembling in the air, juddering accompanied by sickening lurches as if dropping and being picked up again immediately. It had to be the aura surrounding her. It was countering Liara's lift fields, fighting them, making it that much more difficult.

_'Damn, is this what's like to be lifted? I should cut back on doing this...'_ She thought as she drifted lazily over the head of the Thorian. She thrust out an urgent arm and grabbed one of the small tendrils that lined its crown. The thing squealed as she held on for grim life, as if she was about to be sucked up into orbit itself. With her rifle still in her other hand, she could not steady herself...the thing was sliding through her grip...

"Liara!" She called over the radio desperately, "Liara! Cut it _now_!"

As abruptly as it had started, the field vanished and she landed on the head of the thorian with a burst of blue light. Staggering to her feet, she tried to keep her balance on the slippery surface. The plant was shaking and trembling, trying to dislodge her. Even as she swayed, she brought her rifle up to her shoulder. She was panting hard, barely able to see straight let alone down a scope. She recalled the _Macapá_ Boot Camp, what the instructors had shouted at her time and again; _keep your body steady. Don't over-squeeze the trigger and aim low._

Well...let's see how much she remembered. Sucking in the breath, she let a little escape before she pulled the trigger.

The gun barked and tried to squirm out of her grasp, like an overeager puppy but she held it for the second burst. She watched the shots bury themselves into the bulb, shredding tissue and armour alike, cutting it apart as clearly as any chainsaw. The tendril tightened for a second, then went loose again.

The Thorian screamed as it slipped down a couple of feet. Nearly sending her tumbling over the edge. Any thoughts of victory were quickly swamped by the need to escape, the need to survive. She was swinging her arms wildly as another long tendril gave out, sending it crashing against the side and throwing her from her feet. She hit the wall with a crack, her head ringing as her helmet bounced off the masonry. Quickly, she reached up and her fingers caught the ledge, just as the Thorian slipped down again.

It was helpless to save itself, helpless to counter the inevitability of its fate. Slowly, painfully slowly, it sank further and further from view until, with a sickening snap like a wire line breaking, the final supports gave way and the plant fell to join its thralls at the base of the tower, a heavy and resounding thud echoing up the dark shaft to signal when that journey was complete.

She hung on for a few seconds, rifle abandoned as she gripped with two hands. With a heave of effort, she lifted herself over the edge and sat there, panting hard, trying to get her heartbeat back under control. In a heartbeat, her team was standing over her, their worry clearer now than ever before.

"Good shot." Wrex patted her on the back. Shepard just looked at him, her shoulders slumping as the tension drained out of her. Filling the void though, was the pain from before, though it came back now worse than ever, like a damp fog in her mind's eye that she could not shift, going hand in hand with her guilt. They had failed to get what Saren had found here. This mission was a dead end.

"Ma'am, we found her upstairs. She fell out of a pod on the wall." She turned to see Kaidan and Tali escorting yet another asari, hands above her head. Unlike the others though, she was not green, but the dark blue associated with her race and her eyes were full of expression, with the most obvious one being fear.

"The others dropped dead when the Thorian died but this one didn't. She says she's the original."

The asari nodded, "my name is Shiala. I served as a Commando under Matriarch Benezia. I followed her when she went after Saren."

"Went after Saren? What do you mean?" Liara pushed up until she was at Shepard's shoulder, frowning at the Commando.

"She tried to turn him back from his dark path. She wanted him to see the shadow he was casting over the galaxy. We went with her, a few volunteers to protect and serve her. Instead, we fell under his spell, his goals became our own and we obeyed without question. His influence is troubling."

"I see. Benezia sought to stem the river and she was swept away." Liara sighed as her head dropped in sorrow, "my mo...Benezia was a powerful Matriarch Shepard, she would not have been swayed idly."

"He has a ship, a dreadnought of tremendous size and firepower of a design I have never seen. He calls it _Sovereign_."

"Yeah, we've met." The Commander remembered back to Eden Prime, that great black hand reaching down, the massive bulk that had pulled itself up from the space port and into orbit, invulnerable. "Where did it come from?"

"I truly cannot say. It can dominate the minds of his followers. It is subtle, but it is absolute. I was a willing slave when I came here and I was glad to be sacrificed to the Thorian."

"Why were you sacrificed?"

"I was given to the Thorian to cement an alliance."

"That doesn't make sense." Garrus frowned, "why would the geth try to kill the Thorian?"

"To stop you Commander," Shiala turned back to the Commander, "he knows you pursue him. He is worried about your progress. He wanted the Thorian dead so that you could not gain its secrets."

"Looks like I did his job for him," Shepard turned and glanced down at the pit that was now the tomb of the creature. She could not hide the despondency from her voice.

"Fortunately for you Commander, all is not lost. When I became one with the Thorian, I too gained the Cipher. I can give it to you."

"The what now?"

"The Cipher, the collective essence of the prothean race. The Thorian watched the Protheans when they settled this world, it observed their long history and when they died, it consumed them. It created the Cipher, with the context, the history and the understanding to think and act as a Prothean would have."

"Wait, is this to do with the visions?" Shiala nodded and Shepard felt hope spring anew within her, a geyser bursting forth from beneath the ground. The visions were broken and hazy, on the edge of her understanding and tantalisingly out of reach. If she could understand them...if she could uncover the full message...now she understood why Saren had gone through so much trouble with the Thorian. Why he had dispatched a fleet and stood his ground against the Alliance reinforcements pouring into the system. All she needed to do was pry it from this asari's mind.

"Alright, how do I get the Cipher?" She asked.

"I can meld my mind to yours and transfer the Cipher, as I did with Saren."

"Uh...I don't think that's a very good idea Shepard. Asari mind melds? Very dangerous." Garrus whistled, shaking his head.

"It does sound like a terrible risk ma'am." Kaidan sighed, looking hopefully into her eyes, searching for some sign of agreement.

"I know, but I need that Cipher and this is the only way to do it." Shepard stepped forward, rifle slipping easily onto her back once again.

Shiala also approached, until she and Shepard were just a few inches from one another. She could smell the slime from the Commando, the same reek that had so infested the Thorian. Her eyes were a vivid green, though now narrowed in concentration.

"Try to relax Commander. Take slow, deep breaths." She instructed, "let go of your physical shell, try to reach out to grasp the threads that bind us, one to another," Feeling very much like she was back in Doctor Regan's office, Shepard sighed at the unhappy memory and resisted the urge to do as she had back then; roll her eyes and switch off. Instead she closed her eyes and tried to concentrate. The moment her eyes shut, the throbbing became so much more noticeable. It was definitely getting worse, the drumbeat getting faster and heavier in her mind, like a second heart. She could still hear Shiala talking,

"Every action sends ripples across the galaxy. Every idea must touch a mind to live, every motion must mark another's spirit. We are all connected. Every being united in a single, glorious existence. Open yourself to the universe, Commander. Embrace eternity!"

Shepard gasped as she was hit by what felt like a tidal wave. The sensation of suddenly being engulfed, of having control snatched away from herself. She felt tingling through her body, racing to her fingertips like a wildfire in the outback. She was drowning in quicksand, kicking and thrashing as hard as she could but only sinking ever deeper for her trouble. The pain, oh god the pain. It burst from her mind a volcano eruption with burning lava slowly enveloping every conscious thought. She wanted to scream but her mouth was welded into a grimace. It felt like her brain was brushing against the inside of her skull, kept there only by her helmet.

Then, as abruptly, it was gone. She opened her eyes to see that Shiala had stood back and was watching her with genuine concern in her eyes.

"Commander! Are you okay? What happened?" Kaidan asked, eyes fixed on his superior Officer, looking fairly faint himself.

"I am sorry, Commander," the asari said remorsefully, "but it was the only way to give you the Cipher."

"I don't...what..." she asked faintly. It felt as if her knees were about to shatter under her, with the ground wobbling and weaving in a highly unpleasant manner. It felt alarmingly similar to when she had first woken up after interacting with the beacon. Her stomach bubbled and growled unpleasantly with the feeling of nausea rising up in her throat. She lurched forward, only to be caught by Ashley on one side and Liara on the other.

"Relax Commander, be still. You have been given a great gift, the essence of a species. It will take time for your mind to process it."

"You're not looking so good, ma'am. We should get you back to the ship." Ashley tried to pull Shepard back towards the exit. Shepard found her feet again and subtly shrugged off the helping hands, straightening up, though her face remained ghostly pale.

"Shepard, what do we do with the Asari?" Wrex asked, nudging Shiala with the muzzle of his shotgun.

Shepard turned to look at her, weary and exhausted, propping herself up against Ashley in spite of her efforts to stand tall. "What's your plan, Shiala?"

"Well...the people here have suffered terrible hardships. I played a part in that. If I may, I would like to help make amends."

"I think that's a great idea...Shiala," Shepard exhaled breathlessly, sapphire eyes meeting emerald, voice weak, "the Colony needs...all the help it can get. I'll contact...Hackett...and make sure they know..."

"Thank you Commander. I will make the most of this chance." the Commando bowed deeply to the human while she half-walked, half-limped from the chamber, leaning heavily on her Gunnery Chief while the rest of the team followed her out.

She needed a break.


	39. Chapter 39

"Oh great, I _never_ get tired of this room."

"That much is obvious Commander, but alas, we are doomed to be together until I am sure you have recovered." Chakwas sighed in the patient, ever-suffering tone of a military doctor trapped with a rather restless patient. Shepard was lying on one of the beds, eyes following her keenly around the room as the greying woman checked medical diagnostic equipment and system readouts with a light frown of concentration across her regal features.

"I told you I was fine."

"Shepard, you could have a limb hanging off and you would tell me you were 'fine'."

"…good point."

"You underwent significant mental trauma…again! You are not leaving this medical bay until I'm certain you're fit for duty."

"Fit for duty?" Shepard's expression lowered into a petulant scowl, "have you been talking to Kaidan?"

"I assure you Commander, that Lieutenant Alenko did not breathe so much as a word to me, but I hardly need pointing out when something is medically wrong. Your amp has running at above capacity for a number of hours, you're displaying signs of 'asari elbow' where you've been overusing your biotics, your temperature is through the roof and you complained on the surface of feeling nauseous."

"But otherwise fine, right?" The redheaded Spectre asked brightly.

"Don't make me confine you to sickbay."

"You wouldn't dare."

"As before Commander, I will not keep you a second longer than I need to. In the meantime, you need rest."

"If you say so."

"I, with my many decades of medical training and experience, _do_ say so. Now I have some reports to go through and you have some visitors to see." Chakwas indicated to the door as it hissed open, revealing half of her team standing behind it. Ashley, Garrus and Liara all stood like a comedy group waiting to come on, fidgeting with their hands and refusing to make eye contact with one another.

"Commander ma'am, how are you feeling?" Ashley asked in a worried tone.

"I'm good, Chief. Right as rain," she smiled at the NCO, who returned the expression with no small amount of relief, "but how is the Colony? How are the Colonists? Have they found the Thorian yet?"

"They're still looking, Shepard," Garrus replied, standing at the foot of her bed, "Hackett's sent men into the lair but no sign so far. The Colonists are all okay, a little disorientated but otherwise okay."

"...well...aside from a few scrapes and bruises from...y'know," Ashley chortled.

"Even Jeong's behaving himself. I hear he's spoken to Exogeni and they're very keen to keep the colony going. They might even turn it into a documentary." Garrus finished.

"Glad to hear it," Shepard exhaled softly, closing her eyes and leaning back. For the first time in a long time, her head felt clear, unobstructed. It was impossible to truly describe but it was as if a weight had gone from her mind. It was like a drowning woman surfacing, the same sensation of just being _free_. It was better than that though, there was a euphoria at what had happened. She had done it, she had saved the colony and kept her promise. Her arm twitched as she resisted the urge to bring her hand up to the locket under her jacket.

_Not in front of the others..._

"The Council have been in contact ma'am as well, ma'am. They want you to report to them in person." Ashley sighed, her opinion on this matter abundantly clear from the ugly expression on her face.

"We may as well," Shepard ran a hand through her hair, "we need to discharge the core and the Citadel is as good a place as any to go. It's not like we have any leads to follow up either." Her shoulders dropped ever so slightly and that familiar dark feeling began seeping back into her mind. They had destroyed the Thorian, they had freed the Colonists and saved Zhu's Hope but Saren had still escaped and she still had no idea where he was going or what he was after. They had hit another complete dead end.

"Shepard, if I may," Liara mumbled, fidgeting with her hands, "perhaps I can help. I could...link my mind to yours. To see what it is that you are seeing. I might be able to help..."

"Another mind meld? Are you nuts? After what happened last time?" Ashley looked across at the asari, her mouth dropping open.

"It does seem a bit...ill-timed Liara," Garrus' mandibles flickered as his beady eyes fixed on her, "after what happened on Feros."

"I know it sounds silly, but it might help! Shiala was imparting information into your mind, a more traumatic task for the receiving mind. I would only be taking information. I promise it won't be as hard as before."

Shepard considered it. The memories of the meld were still painfully fresh in her mind but Liara looked so keen, so desperate for approval, that she really could not say no,

"You sure it'll help?" She asked.

The Archaeologist nodded keenly, "Oh yes! I might be able to find a connection that you have not and I promise I will be as gentle as I can."

"Well...alright then." Shepard sighed, "let's get it over with."

Liara stepped forward and put her hand on Shepard's cheek, the warmth made the Commander jump, unprepared for it as they looked deeply into one another's eyes, each in danger of being lost in that stare...

"Oh, close your eyes, Commander," Liara instructed quickly, a delicate blush entering her cheeks, "and embrace eternity!" Her eyes went black and suddenly, Shepard was falling.

_Terror. Panic. They flowed through Shepard as she looked wildly at the burning inferno before her, the buildings were torn and twisted, people screaming from every direction, the smell...the smell of cooked flesh and ash. It was gone. It was all gone. Everything was lost. She looked up in horror, the rifle in her hands dropping uselessly to the ground. The great ship, the great black ship brought a single tentacle down on a house before her, shattering it like a foot might shatter a glass. The great red eye glared down at her, a mechanical, whirring roar filled her head. Shepard screamed in horror. She tried to run but her legs would not work. It was gone, all gone..._

_...no...there was hope. She could feel it more than see it, a warmth that told her not to give up, there was something out there worth fighting for...she had to reach it..._

She took a step forward, trying to reach out and touch that sanctuary, to reach the safety and warmth it promised. She had to make it...if she didn't then everything was gone...everyone...

Shepard gasped aloud, her eyes shot open to see Liara stumbling back. Garrus rushed forward to grab her while Doctor Chakwas came surging out from her office, eyes flickering between each of them, accusatory and worried at the same time.

"What happened?" She demanded.

"Shepard and Liara melded minds," Ashley explained, standing beside Shepard anxiously.

"Oh Commander, what did I say about taking it easy?" Chakwas groaned as she rushed to the Commander's side, fingers moving quickly over the diagnostic equipment.

"I'm okay, damn it, I'm okay," she batted the air mask out of the way as it hovered over her, "check Liara."

"I am fine Commander," she panted, "the images were...not what I expected..." she admitted, panting and blowing hard even while Garrus held her up, "you were correct Commander, the Protheans were destroyed by the Reapers...if this came from the beacon then it was most likely a warning about the invasion...but it came too late..."

"Yes, was there anything actually _helpful_?" Ashley snapped.

"The vision is broken, incomplete. There are parts missing. If this is what Saren is seeing Commander, then I doubt he is any closer to his goal than us."

"Except he's working for the Reapers, so he might know something we don't." Garrus pointed out.

"So...no helpful information?" Shepard swallowed hard, her mouth dry.

"Sorry Commander, the vision speaks of hope. Whatever that hope is referring to is what Saren hunts. If it is as clear in his vision as yours, then I sincerely doubt he knows where it is."

* * *

The trio stayed and made small talk for a little while longer before they were shooed from the Medical Bay by Chakwas, whose patience had run dry and who insisted that Shepard be given time to rest. They left reluctantly, promising that they would be in as soon as they had the time to do so or, more accurately, when they were allowed to by the Chief Medical Officer. Shepard settled back on the bed, suddenly exhausted. Too exhausted to even retaliate to Chakwas' insistence that she get some sleep. For once, she was perfectly content to turn onto her side, close her eyes and just doze, her reward for a hard mission.

She couldn't help but think about what Liara had said. She had kind of guessed that the message from the beacons was a warning, but she could not understand what Saren found so interesting about it. The Reapers had destroyed the Protheans, he knew that already. What more could it possibly tell him about the Conduit?

Then there was Liara herself. When they had made eye contact before the meld, there was more there than just a concern for her safety. All those times they had been together on Feros; when Liara had stopped her falling, when she had hugged the asari after Fai-Dan's ultimate sacrifice...there had definitely been an undercurrent...a _connection_...so what should she do about it? Liara was shy and withdrawn at the best of times...trying to talk to her might just make her clam up or worse, make fools of both of them. By the same measure, she couldn't just ignore it. It was rapidly becoming the elephant in the room, hanging over them whenever they were together. The rest of the crew were going to notice sooner rather than later. It was a small ship, word got around quickly.

She heard the door hiss open behind her. She opened her eyes, curiously wondering who had come through. It might just be someone for the Doctor, so she tactfully pretended to be asleep as the footsteps grew louder. They stopped at the foot of her bed.  
"Commander?" She recognised Garrus' grumbling voice, "are you awake?"

"Mmhmm," She sighed, turning over again to see the turian standing at the foot of her bed. She did not know much about turians but she would have said he was agitated, nervous even. His mandibles kept flicking at random while he played with his talons, rubbing them over one another, "what's up?"

"It's about Shiala, you know the asari you spared?"

"Is she causing trouble?" The redhead's eyes narrowed.

"That's just it Commander, she's not. She's organised the colonists and started to rebuild the colony. The reports are saying she'll have them up and running again in no time."

"So..." Shepard frowned quizzically, "what do you want to talk to me about her."

"She was in league with the enemy, she helped attack Zhu's Hope. You would have been perfectly justified in executing her. Why did you spare her?"

"I don't execute people Garrus, no matter what they've done. I can't. Shiala did all the things you said yeah, but what would killing her have accomplished? Will it hurt Saren? Will it slow down his plans? If I had killed her then all it would have done was turn me into Saren. Killing because I can." She sighed, "but that's not why you asked, is it?"

Garrus shook his head, "I would have killed her. I would have pulled the trigger without hesitation and I wouldn't have regretted it for a moment but...seeing the good she's doing..."

"You're doubting your decision?" He nodded, "good. People are so very quick to hand out their version of justice and they do it without thinking. If you can just give it a minute's thought then it makes you're already better than them."

"So if you catch up to Saren-"

"-_when_, Garrus, _when_ I catch up to Saren."

"Sorry, _when_ you catch up with him, you're going to spare him?"

"If I can. Don't get me wrong, if he forces my hand he's dead, but it won't be my first choice."

"Is that really wise Shepard? I mean, look at what he's done, what he's trying to do..."

"If I catch him and kill him then and there with no hesitation, then what makes me any different to him?"

"Well...hmm...I see what you mean." The former Policeman looked thoughtfully at her, "thank you Commander, you've given me a lot to think about."

"Glad I could help," She smiled, "Remember Garrus, you have the power to take life. That's a big responsibility. Don't be so quick to throw it around."

"Yes, Commander." Garrus chuckled, "Spirits, you would get on great with my father. He was always big into following the rules. He was massive in C-Sec, so I grew up with his face all over the vids, leading a drugs bust or making some big arrest."

"He sounds like a good man."

"He is. Stubborn as all hell though. We've had a few clashes. He's always on my back about breaking the rules."

"Do you ever listen?" She chuckled.

"Sometimes...most of the time no."

"Maybe you should, sounds like he might know a few things."

"He does," the turian conceded reluctantly, glancing up only to see Chakwas standing and frowning at him. Recognising when he was unwelcome, he turned to leave.

"Garrus, let me give you one last piece of advice before you go. Something I learnt the hard way. Life is too short to spend fighting with your family over meaningless issues. Cherish it whenever you can."

"Thanks Shepard, I will." Garrus headed back through the doors, with them hissing shut behind him. Shepard turned to see Chakwas staring daggers at her.

"I know, I know, rest." She settled back down on the bed and closed her eyes, sighing softly as she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

In the following days, Shepard reaped the benefits from interrupted and exhausted sleep. Awaking the next morning after nearly eighteen hours, a persistent and insistent Chakwas gave her a diagnosis to find that almost all her symptoms had gone. Her amp activity had dropped back to acceptable levels, the fever was mostly gone and she had started to eat again. The stress of the past few days had taken its toll on her though and, in spite of her protests, the CMO still thought she was too weak to resume command. The compromise was simple, open visiting hours to let the inevitable line of concerned crew come to check up on her and cheer her up.

Shepard was sitting at the end of her bed, knees drawn up to her chest and arms folded around them. Her bed was surrounded by three or four crew members, who were eagerly filling in the Commander on everything she had missed when she was on the ground, while she paid the utmost attention.

"-and then this flight of fighters came up on our seven o'clock and I saw them on my screen," the young, skin-headed and bright-eyed Serviceman was telling her, "and I called up to Joker, _hard to portside!_"

"You mean you passed on Lieutenant Commander Pressly's instruction?" Corporal Lacey offered rather dryly. The grey-haired NCO had his arms crossed and was looking over the younger Marine with an experienced and scornful eye.

"Yeah but it was the _way _I said it!" The Serviceman pressed on, not derailed even for a moment, "Joker _knew_ things were going down!"

"Of course he did, we were in battle against a geth fleet," the elder man snorted somewhat derisively but not harshly, "anyway Tiffney, you haven't mentioned the best part, the way you squealed when we went into that high-G turn!"

"I did not squeal!" The young crewman sounded horrified, "I just lost my footing! That's all!"

"It was totally a squeal Tiff," the Servicewoman to Shepard's other side laughed at his expression, equal parts horror and embarrassment, "I thought one of the girls had seen a spider."

"It was not a squeal! I just slipped!" He continued on doggedly with his defence, "Commander, I definitely did not squeal!"

"Of course not," Shepard couldn't help but laugh, "damned Alliance floors can be so slippery. When I was on my first tour in the Traverse, we had to do this really sharp turn to avoid a Batarian accelerator attack. I wasn't really ready so I squealed out loud and nearly deafened the poor girl beside me. They never let me forget it either." Her sapphire eyes went to the two other Officers, who looked as though butter wouldn't melt for a brief moment, "relax Ben, a little slip every now and then isn't the end of the world."

"I dunno ma'am, you should have seen his face," Lacey chuckled as he gave the Serviceman a friendly punch on the shoulder, "I didn't know whether to fetch the Doctor for him or me, I was about to pass out laughing."

"Hey hold on Jack," Shepard turned her gaze to the Corporal, "what was it they used to call you on the _Washington_? Sparky?"

"Really?" Tiffney looked on in interest, Lacey looked mortified, "why, Commander?"

"One day we were doing maintenance when this wire sparked near the good Corporal. He let out a cry like a wounded goat and near scared everyone else to death. Never thought I would stop laughing." She stifled a laugh at the memories while Tiffney and the Servicewoman burst out in giggles.

Before the poor Corporal could reply though, the door to the medical bay slid open. The crew snapped to attention automatically while the smile left Shepard's face.

"Lieutenant," Lacey greeted him as Kaidan slipped in, "We'll...uh...give you some space." The trio hurriedly departed, with Tiffney still stifling giggles. Lacey rewarded him with a cuff around the back of the head when he thought the Commander wasn't looking.

The sudden stillness in the air was almost suffocating, as if the three humans had taken every ounce of atmosphere with them. The two Officers just stood and stared at one another. Kaidan would not stay still while Shepard looked up at him, grip tightening a little around her knees.

"So," Kaidan's voice cracked as he spoke, licking his dry lips in a vain attempt to clear the problem, "I'm glad to see you're getting better."

"Thanks," Her tone was civil, nothing less and nothing more, "You just off shift?"

"Yeah, Pressly has us preparing the ship to dock. We took a few knocks in the fight but nothing serious. I wanted to see how you were doing," A pause broken by a sigh, "no I didn't. I came to apologise-"

"Kaidan stop," He abruptly shut his mouth, looking horrified. Now it was Shepard's turn to swallow in a vain attempt to get some moisture into her mouth, "stop right there. You have nothing to apologise for."

"No I-"

"- I'm the one who wanted to apologise. You were doing the right thing. I'm sorry I threw it back in your face. I'm sorry I hacked you to bits in front of the team and I'm sorry I was such a massive bitch about it. You acted with the utmost professionalism, diligence and courage I expect from my crew. You were everything I wasn't."

"Ma'am, with all respect, you saved a colony and killed a millennia old monster controlling them. I was wrong to think you weren't capable of command-"

"-I sent my people into the middle of a colony armed with only their fists, I charged down into the Thorian lair without any idea what was down there, I was crippled." She shook her head, shoulders sagging with each admission, "and I wasn't acting myself. I wouldn't have blamed you if you had put me on my ass and taken control from there."

"Shepard, ma'am, you're being far too hard on yourself," the Sentinel settled beside her on the bed and put a hand on her shoulder.

"If I'm not Kaidan, then no one else will be." She knew the despondency sounded in her voice. It was a depressing subject but she needed him to know, she needed him to understand.

"I can take up the slack if you wish Commander," he chuckled weakly and, slowly it made the corners of her mouth twitch upwards, "I just wanted to make sure you weren't angry at what had happened."

"With you? No, never," She shook her head, "how can I be? You're my right hand man Kaidan. I couldn't ask for a better friend."

"Thanks, Commander." He smiled much more warmly at her.

"No, thank you Kaidan for just...being you." She lifted her arms and wrapped them around his shoulders in a warm hug. He remained stiff for a moment, thrown by the sudden gesture but he gave her the briefest squeeze in return before they parted. The staleness of the air had gone and the atmosphere returned as surely as the sun on a flawless summer's day.

"Now," She curled back up again, staring straight into his eyes, "you were going to tell me about BAaT. I want to hear _every_ detail. Tell me what I missed."

With a grin at her suddenly enthusiastic tone, Kaidan settled on the edge of the bed and began to speak, to tell a tale of his childhood that he never had before to anyone else. The red-headed woman before him just seemed to take it all in, nodding and shaking her head at all the right times and it just flowed from him in a way he could never have foreseen happening. He didn't know how long he spent in her company and he didn't care.

All he knew for certain was that he had found a friend.


	40. Chapter 40

The _Normandy_ settled into her Citadel berth with the slightest of sighs, as if she too was relieved to make it back to the star-shaped hub of the galaxy. The crew had already gathered excitedly at the entrance, not quite able to believe that they had been given two shore leaves so close to one another. The babble was infectious and even Shepard, finally kicked from the Medical bay couldn't help but grin as they moved past her towards their freedom.

She was leaning against one of the inactive consoles, waiting for a certain member of her team. She murmured a few words to Wrex and Tali as they passed up from the lower decks and shared a meaningful glance with Ashley as she walked past, surrounded by a group of laughing Marines, with the Gunnery Chief giggling at a joke. After the loss of her unit on Eden Prime, she had been worried that the Chief might have been struggling but the camaraderie of the Marines was keeping her mine off it. She owed Kaidan a lot for making her feel so welcome amongst the Security compliment.

Kaidan, Garrus and Pressly she pulled to one side. They would be coming with her to this vital meeting with the Council but there was one more person she wanted to see personally. There was something who had most definitely been avoiding her since they had returned to the ship, since they had first been in the Med Bay. She sent the trio to wait outside for her, she wanted to meet this person alone.

She was the last person to come up from below decks, clearly wishing to avoid attention. She slipped out of the elevator, only to find the Commander waiting for her. Liara started as Shepard pushed away from the console, looks of surprise, horror and panic crossing her features in the space of a few seconds. Her eyes kept flicking from side to side as if she was looking to escape.

"Hey, I just wanted to catch up before you left." Shepard tried to sound carefree, but she knew the discussion was going to turn to darker topics before long, "I wanted to know how you were getting on after what happened on Feros."

"Oh, Commander, yes." She still seemed nervous. Shepard wondered if she had caught the Asari at a bad time, "thank you for asking. I am still getting over what happened...it was...horrific." the human could virtually see the shiver running through her at the memory.

"The first time you've ever seen someone die?"

"I've seen people die Shepard. Death itself does not fear me. But the way he died...it was so sudden..."

"I'd like to say it gets easier Liara, but it really doesn't. All you can do is not think about it. More seasoned fighters than you have been destroyed by those thoughts."

Thank you for the kind words Commander, I am trying to keep my mind from it. It's easier when I'm shooting at the geth...even if I don't hit most of the time..."

"Yeah, I did notice your shooting was a little rusty." Shepard chuckled, "so how about this; after I'm finished with the Council, I'll take you to the gun range and we can work on your aim?"

"I...that sounds...beneficial." If Shepard hadn't known better, she would have sworn that the Archaeologist was blushing a little, just as she had in the Medical Bay, "I look forward to it ...learning to shoot I mean..." she added suddenly and the blush deepened.

"Me too," Shepard nodded, then suddenly realised what she had said, "...I look forward to teaching you. I'll give you a call when I'm on my way and meet you there." She watched as the Asari nodded and headed to the now empty bridge with an almost imperceptible spring in her step. She watched her go with a smile that hid the nerves starting to build in her stomach. Had she just asked Liara on a date? No. No, she had just asked her to a range to help her shooting. There was nothing else behind it.

No, nothing at all.

* * *

When Shepard came down the elevator, she thought she had stumbled into a lightning storm in the middle of C-Sec Headquarters. There were hundreds of flashing lights, the source of which were dozens of cameras and drones with even more humans pressing against a cordon of C-Sec Officers struggling to hold back the tide, shouting and screaming over the top of one another. On the other side of this protective line were members of her crew, with Engineer Adams in front, holding out his arms as if protecting a bunch of children,

"No comment!" He barked at them them, "no comment!"

Fortunately for the besieged crew, one of the reporters spotted the first human Spectre as she stepped out of the elevator and in moments the horde had moved like a shoal of fish towards the woman. They changed tack so quickly that the C-Sec Officers were caught off balance and, very quickly, Shepard found herself surrounded by humans, blinded by the cameras with uncountable microphones shoved into her face.

"Commander! Commander!" She could see one face in the bursting light, a dark skinned woman who looked not unlike a vulture, "Khalisah al-Jilani, Westerlund News! Is it true you've just returned from Feros? What's the status of the colony there?"

Blinking at the sudden rush, Shepard answered with the first thing that came to mind, trying to ignore the constant flashes that were making it difficult to focus on anything, "I can report that the colony on Feros has been saved. The Exogeni Corporation has kindly agreed to maintain funding to ensure its continued survival."

"Did you head there in your ship? The top of the line alliance warship that has been handed to the Council?"

"I'm sorry? I wasn't aware it had been handed to anyone. Last I checked, I'm human and so are my crew."

"Human yes, but you do work for the Council now. Do you agree with speculation that the geth are targeting humanity specifically?"

Shepard saw exactly what the woman was trying to do, the pieces falling into place like any military strategy. She did what she thought would annoy the woman most and flashed a charming smile,  
"The Geth have attacked human colonies yes, but they are a threat to every species in Council space. The Traverse happens to be the closest territory to geth space; it unfortunately puts us on the front lines."

"Given that it was the Human Fleet who broke the siege, what's your opinion on the Council's lack of action?" None of the other reporters seemed to be speaking, Shepard noticed. They were obviously content to let the pair duke it out, "do you feel they are using us as a shield to protect their own interests?"

"The Council has given support in other ways than warships," Shepard retaliated, "I can assure you that the Alliance Navy can deal with any geth threat in the Traverse. It is our territory and our responsibility to defend it, just as the Apien Crest is the responsibility of the turian military and they could expect the same level of assistance as we receive now."

"Commander Shepard? Emily Wong, Citadel Daily," Another reporter cut in, younger and fresher faced without the look of a predator in her eye, "how does it feel to be the first human Spectre?"

"The Spectres represent the best of the galaxy. To join their ranks has been a great honour and privilege." She bowed her head humbly.

Wong went to ask another question but she was cut off by al-Jilani, shooting daggers at the woman, "some people say this is just the Council throwing humanity a bone. What do you say to the people who claim humanity still has no real power?"

"We are part of the intergalactic community, miss al-Jilani, and that means we must take into account the needs and concerns of everyone around us. Surely, you do not think we should push aside the Volus and the Elcor to achieve our goals?"

"We have the bigger fleets," the report blurted out. The reporters all turned to look at her, mouths open. It took a moment for the woman to click to what she had said, at which point all colour simply drained from her face.

Shepard smiled, "true greatness does not come from the size of your boot, miss al-Jilani. It comes from the size of your compassion, the size of your heart. We can't force our way onto the Council because we have lots of warships but because the Council feels we are ready for the responsibility. They're not our enemy, we're all on the same team."

"Well...thank you, Commander Shepard," al-Jilani melted away as C-Sec Officers finally managed to fight their way through the crowd to form the wall between the human and her public. Taking the opportunity, she slipped out and down the stairs, exhaling deeply as she escaped the storm. Her first press interview...she had answered as honestly as she could but some of them had seemed...outright hostile towards her. Even now she could still see the white spots in her vision from the cameras. Anderson had no great opinion on the Media, he had fallen foul of them a few times, and he was most insistent that all they ever did was try and twist it against you. Well, she would know soon enough.

Trying to put it out of her head, she headed for the tower.

* * *

"So...let me get this straight...the Council dragged me half way across the galaxy, using fuel from the Alliance budget I hasten to add, just so they can tell me they're too busy to meet in person?" Try as she might, Shepard simply could hide the incredulous tone from her voice. It was not the fault of the secretary in front of her, the poor asari wearing the faux-smile designed to placate but which was only infuriating her. In combination with the dreary political speak that all these people seemed born with, it slowly sapping away her will to live.

"The Council recognise the effort required to make it here but they are exceptionally busy right now and-"

"-look, why couldn't they have just relayed the information to me? What was so important I needed to come back here?"

"I do not have the authority to divulge such information. You must seek a member of the Council who possesses the necessary clearance to-"

"-alright fine." She conceded, putting a hand to her face in frustration, "so what do I do now? Am I just supposed to sit around and wait for a gap in their schedules?"

"I do not the necessary authorit-"

"Alright, I get it, I get it," She sighed before muttering under her breath, "at least Avina has a nice voice."

"...I'm sorry?"

"Nothing. Nothing." She flashed an innocent smile towards the Asari, "I'll just go and find a seat will I? Until the Council could be bothered seeing me."

"Have a pleasant day." That fake smile again, which Shepard matched.

"You too." She answered in the same, singsong tone.

"Well, that was fun," Garrus observed somewhat dryly.

"If they won't speak to us then what was the point of this?" Pressly did not look pleased. He had not looked pleased since they had passed through the layers of security at the base of the tower and stood for nearly half an hour just waiting access to the Council Chamber. As it turned out, none of the Councillors were here. With the way things worked, Shepard reckoned they were probably on the other side of the Presidium.

"Commander Shepard. Apologises for the delay. Had some important business to deal with, you understand." She turned at the familiar voice to see Lenni Vers striding across in front of her, "come with me. I have intelligence vital to your mission."

She went after him, if only because he caught her off guard and strode with such confidence and an unspoken expectation that she would follow that it almost seemed churlish to do anything else. He was leading her across the plaza of the Council Tower, thankfully free of the media she had been dodging since she had arrived. She had hoped they would have gathered at the entrance to the dock and gotten their fill there but no, it was like having a shadow; a very loud, very insistent, very flashy shadow. The rest of her unit followed, staying tactfully quiet in case the Salarian burst into more of that colourful babble they were so known for.

Under his guidance, the group headed through a small corridor to emerge into a cramped office. As they all squeezed inside, with Garrus sort of holding the door shut, Shepard was glad she had not brought Wrex. If she had, he would be standing outside and listening in through the door.

"Commander," Vers settled behind a desk, with the only chair in the room, "Again, apologies for the delay and apologies for the recall. You have to understand the information I have is not fit for broadcasting."

"I'm sure," she answered, Pressly wedged to one side and Kaidan to the other. Clearly this room was not built for visitors, "or at least I would be, if someone would tell me what was going on."

"We are tracking Matriarch Benezia's movements."

Well, that shut her up. She could only stare into those wide, unblinking eyes for a few long seconds. The silence stretched around the room, with no one quite sure how to respond. Slowly, Shepard licked her lips and queried the patiently waiting Spectre, asking him the first -and more important- question that popped into her mind;

"Is she with Saren?"

"There is no sign of Saren or his dreadnought." Vers had clearly known what she would ask, his answer was almost immediate, "the hypothesis is that they have split up to cover more ground in their search."

"For the Conduit?"

"Correct. We are fortunate Commander, that he may not yet know where it is."

_Liara was right._ She thought, a little bitter now that she had so doubted the Archaeologist's opinion, "how did you find her?"

"Quite by chance. A fellow Spectre was on an assignment on the fringe of Council Space when they got a tip of a Matriarch nearby. Without going into the details, our comrade discovered a safe house for Benezia. They have arranged it so that her movements can be tracked."

"So where is she?" Shepard pressed excitedly, a thrill running through her._If I know where Benezia is, Saren is only one step away!_

Vers was less enthusiastic, speaking with all the weariness of a long-suffering professional, "She took a vessel registered to Thessia, the _Nimen_, and jumped into the nearest relay. She emerged a few hours ago in the Horse Head Nebula. We are unaware of her final destination at this time and will continue to be so for several days, until she docks."

"That's lucky," The red-headed Officer frowned, "the _Normandy_'s dry docked for a few days. She's going nowhere."

"It seems as though fortune has been very favourable," he nodded, "you understand why this data could not be passed across the network. Benezia and Saren still have much influence in the upper circles of government."

"Of course," this time she said it without irony or sarcasm but utter honesty. That one of the most wanted people in the galaxy was being tracked was incredible. It was worth bringing her back, "you'll let me know as soon as she docks?"

"Instantaneously Commander, good day." Vers pulled a datapad across and, just like that, she was dismissed.

They all piled out into the corridor, speaking in hushed whispers, though the general noise levels of the corridor would have masked a drunken krogan's greatest hits.  
"I can't believe they found her," Garrus shook his head, "thank the Spirits for the Spectres."

"Yeah, we have been lucky," Kaidan admitted, "but the Horse Head Nebula is deep in Alliance Space Commander, I don't think she's going to hang about long. We may not have much time."

"I'll head to the dry dock immediately Commander, oversee the repairs in person," Pressly offered, brow furrowed in thought.

"I appreciate that Pressly, thanks." She nodded warmly at him. The balding Officer saluted and strode away, looking for all the world like the weight of the galaxy was on his shoulders, "Kaidan, can you pass it around the crew that they are at amber alert. I want them able to report to the _Normandy_ with an hours notice. I know that's going to ruin a lot of plans and nightclub visits but I don't care. See it done."

"Aye ma'am," he nodded and peeled away, vanishing in seconds into the crowds.

"Garrus, I want you to go through your C-Sec channels if you can. Find the class of the _Nimen_, where it was built and all recent ports of call. Do it discreetly, work the back channels if you can. If we can track her movements, we might find Saren's base."

"Of course Shepard, I'm sure Lexx will be over the moon to see me," he too turned to go, stopping only when he was a few yards away and turning to her, "Commander, what are you going to do?"

"Me? I have an appointment at the shooting range."


	41. Chapter 41

Liara had not been doing anything particularly important when Shepard's message came through on her omni-tool. With no idea how long the human Spectre and her party would be gone, she had taken to just wandering the Presidium, taking in the beauty once again. Compared to life in the stars with Commander Shepard, the sedate pace of life was intoxicatedly soothing. It gave her time to stop, time to take stock and think about the sorts of things that one normally could not when Geth were aiming at one's head. It was also a good chance to think about everything that had happened.

Feros had been her first real taste of battle. She had known it was not going to be easy, in fact she had been expecting it to be exceptionally difficult. She had not quite appreciated just _how_ difficult that would turn out to be. It wasn't just the constant running battles with the geth that had driven her to the edge but everything else. The colonists there, those who had survived anyway, the people of Zhu's Hope being flung about like rag dolls. The children screaming as they tried to force their way back into the battle. Then there was Fai-Dan.

She had seen death before, even as an Asari it was not an alien concept but to see it so close and so...vividly. It was death, but not as she knew it. It represented everything about the world of war; the blood, the pain, the abnormal and the grotesque nature of the sentient soul. It was also the world in which Shepard lived, in which most of the team lived. Chief Williams, Lieutenant Alenko, Garrus, Wrex and even Tali. They had all born witness to the horrors of war and yet they still carried themselves as if it were any other day job. She could not help but wonder about the states of their souls, the part of them that no one ever saw. How badly scared were they? How cracked and broken the façade?

She could not deny that the more she thought about the lifestyle of violence and war that all lived, the more she thought about Commander Lauren Shepard in particular. The woman both frightened and fascinated her in equal measure, not least because of her past. Liara had done some digging, curious as to who the woman was that had rescued her. Her past was littered with character-making and breaking moments; the destruction of her colony in Mindoir, the salvation of Elysium, the Battle of Tacugama, in which her squad, backed with just a few Grizzly tanks, had cleared out an entire Pirate base. More recently, there was the Battle of Eden Prime and, of course, her elevation to the first Spectre of her race. Who was this woman? She had been fascinated before, but now it was almost becoming as important to her as her Prothean studies. She needed to know more about her.

It was partly why she had been so keen to meld minds with her. Obviously, passing up on the opportunity to see a message from the Protheans themselves would have haunted her for the rest of her long life but there more to it. It was a chance to connect to Shepard, to link with her in a way that only her race could. In all honesty, she was surprised she had accepted the offer, especially after Shiala had been so forceful. Not sure what she would find, Liara had begun the meld. Well, it had not turned out quite how she had imagined. The powerful sensations and images of the Protheans were nearly overwhelming for her, a secondary source, so goddess only knew what it was like receiving them for the first time. Horrific, painful...it only reinforced her original thoughts on Shepard; resilient and determined. When she had tried to probe further, unbeknownst to Shepard, the woman's mind had blocked her out so utterly that it was as if a curtain had been dropped in front of her. Given how difficult it had been to prise just the data about the beacon from her reluctant mind, Liara had backed off. The guilt afterwards of her nosiness had seen that she stayed out of the Commander's way as she recovered. Now she had invited her to practise shooting...why was she so nervous about that?

"Oh hey, I wasn't expecting you to get here so quickly."

"Commander!" Liara turned with a wide grin, only to see that the human was flanked by Wrex on one side and Tali on the other, "...oh. I wasn't aware you were bringing company."

"Sorry," She smiled apologetically, "but I invited Tali along too. She's not got much to do here on the Citadel and Wrex came because...well...he's Wrex."

"I see." Liara nodded to the teenager and the hulking krogan, "well...let's hope I don't make a fool of myself."

"I wouldn't worry about that." Shepard laughed, "this is just a little session to give you some tips. Nothing more. I've already seen that you can handle yourself. Shall we find a range?" She nodded towards the booths. Some were already occupied, with beings of all species firing a variety of weapons at a series of targets.

"We'll take this one," Shepard nodded to one booth, "you guys can have the one beside it."

"Sure. Come on kid, let's have a shooting competition."

"I'm _not_ a kid!" Tali huffed as they each disappeared into their respective booths.

There were a set of ear dampeners and a small control box. Shepard busied herself with the controls, tapping a few commands into it while Liara eyed the pistol holstered at her side nervously. Her gaze slowly began to drift towards her rear. _No! Bad Liara, don't do that._

"Alright," Shepard spun and Liara broke her gaze, suddenly the ceiling was the most interesting thing in the entire galaxy, "we'll try at medium range. Here," she pulled the pistol from her holster and handed it to Liara, the weapon flashing from red to blue to signal it was armed. The Commander was having to shout over the sounds of weapon discharges, "I want you to hit the target."

Liara looked down the range to the dummy that sat halfway down. It was miles away! Worse than that, the head and torso were so small. How was she supposed to hit it? Still, Shepard was looking expectantly so, with some reluctance, she held the gun steady and aimed down the barrel. As soon as she thought the wavering sight was lined up, she fired. The gun kicked up and concealed her view. She was lucky it didn't fly back and break her nose. When she had finally got control of the gun she saw, to her shame, that she had missed it entirely.

"Oh goddess," she cursed, mortified, fighting back a blush, "I'm terrible..."

"It's alright," Shepard stepped forward, "you've hit better shots than that. It's just consistency. You're just out of practise."

"I was never a soldier, Commander..."

"I know, but there are some little tricks to help you. Here, line up a shot again." Reluctantly, the asari did so. She stood facing the target, spread her legs and aimed down the sight

"See, you're putting more weight on your back foot," Shepard pointed out immediately, stepping forward, "it's keeping you off balance when you fire. You're also leaning a bit too far back, so you won't be able to hold the shot. Here," Shepard put her hand on Liara's left leg, making the Archaeologist shiver at the brush of warm fingers, "put more weight forward to steady yourself and try to bring your shoulders forward."

Liara tried to follow the instructions. Putting weight on her front foot felt unnatural but not as unnatural as when she tried to follow Shepard's second instruction. The Commander giggled,

"Too much Liara. Now it looks like you're trying to tie a shoelace." She put one hand on Liara's shoulder and the other on the small of her back. Now the asari was starting to blush rather fiercely as Shepard twisted her upper body into a much more comfortable position.

"Now try to hold that. Feel better?"

"Much, thank you."

"Another thing, see the two little nubs on top?"

"Yes?"

"You keep concentrating on the one closest to you. Try to look at the one at the end of the barrel. If that's lined up to the target, then the rear one should be easy to get into position. See," Shepard came right up so her body was pressed up against Liara's, squinting down her outstretched arm. Liara could almost taste her perfume, smell the fragrance of her hair, feel her curves pressing against the Asari's own. It was making her feel light-headed. Suddenly, the shooting didn't particularly matter any more.

"there, you've got it lined up now. Try taking the shot." Shepard pulled away and left her tripping over her own thoughts, feeling cold. With a deep inhale, she tried to look down at the forward sight, concentrating on keeping her weight forward and remember everything else she had ever been taught. Finally, she squeezed the trigger. Again, the gun jumped up in her hands but this time, she was ready for it. Her shot smashed through stomach of the target, right where the diaphragm would have been.

"I did it!"

"There we go!" Shepard laughed at Liara's childishly delighted expression, "simple really. Obviously it's different here to on the battle field but you've got a calm head. If you can remember these tips then you'll do fine."

"Like you, you mean?" Liara blurted out, only to see that the woman was a little confused, "keep a level head on the battlefield I mean. The way you took down the Thorian was incredibly brave."

"Yes...well..." the Commander squirmed, "there are better role models out there than me."

"Not many have saved a colony single-handed!" The asari kept pressing.

"It wasn't really single handed," Shepard blushed, her sapphire eyes glancing at the weapon in Liara's hands, as if keen for a change in topic, "there were other Marines and the Militia."

"I've read the reports Shepard. You held off an entire platoon alone! There was no one there when you did that!"

"You read my file?" The red-headed human frowned.

"I...yes, but only because I wanted to get to know you better! You're an incredible woman, Shepard and I wanted to know just what it was that made you."

"You could have just _asked_, Liara. I would have told you anything you wanted to know," Shepard's reply may have been casual but Liara could see the hurt in her eyes. _Oh goddess, you stupid, stupid girl..._

"I've just made things worse haven't I?" she gulped as her mind suddenly burst forth with all the things she had been holding back all this time, desperately keen to repair the damage she had done, "but I _couldn't_ just ask you! I've tried and every time we're together, I get all tongue tied because-"

She was cut off in mid flow by what sounded like an explosion from the booth next to them, a deafening roar that had the Archaeologist squeaking and jumping in fright. The pistol flew from her hand and bounced into the middle of the range. Shepard did not so much as flinch at the noise. With a sigh, she stretched out an arm and, encasing the pistol in a blue aura, she guided it back into her hand with a quick sweep. Handing it back to Liara, she sighed, though she avoided the woman's gaze.

"Hold on, give me a moment." She ducked out of the booth and went next door, where her shouting was barely audible over the sounds of gunfire.

"Wrex...WREX! Stop it...I said STOP IT! You'll have the whole of C-Sec here in a minute and you're scaring the nice gun people."

"Bah!" The sound of the gun dropped away but Liara could still hear ringing in her ears, though it might just have been Wrex's gruff voice, "shouldn't have come to a gun range if they're afraid of a little popper like this."

"Little pop...Wrex, the _Mako_ carries a smaller gun than this! Where did you get it!?"

"A vendor in the Wards. It's not illegal."

"I don't care if it's illegal or not, use a pistol like everyone else!"

"Told you she'd be pissed," Tali muttered.

"Huh, Pyjak." Wrex growled but his voice was low, as if he was sulking.

"I don't know what that is, but whatever it is, I'm not one of them!" Shepard's tone was equally as childish as Wrex's, "just use a pistol. Please."

"Fine!"

"Thank you!"

Shepard re-emerged, shaking her head, "sorry about that. Where were we?"

Liara handed her the gun back, cheeks a rosy pink and her heart leaden with embarrassment, "I think we were about done. I'll see you back on the ship She-"

"-Commander, is that you?" The alien voice on the Commander's radio made Liara frown. Normally Shepard did not have her personal communications on an open channel like this. The voice was definitely male, a strong accent she recognised as from earth but not the specific location, "my name is Lieutenant Girard of C-Sec. I need your assistance. I have a girl here, she was recently rescued from Slavers, a survivor of Mindoir. She has taken a pistol and she is threatening to kill herself. I need your help immediately."

"Where are you?" Shepard asked as soon as the last syllable had left the Officer's mouth. Liara noticed a sudden change drop over the woman. Hope, pain and fear flashed across her features in as many moments before that professional mask settled into place.

"We are in Block 224 Zakera Ward. Please hurry. We have her cornered but she is getting desperate."

"I'll be there immediately." She looked at Liara "I don't know where Block 24 is."

"I do." Liara nodded. It was home to several restaurants and hotels that her mother had liked to bring her to on the rare occasions they visited the wards, "I'll take you there."

"Thanks, Liara," she smiled hesitantly, as if a sudden weight was dragging down her features. Liara just nodded, pleased that she could at least make it up to Shepard this way.

Goddess knew she had made a fool of herself enough today already.


	42. Chapter 42

The trip to Block 224 seemed to take an age. Shepard had rented a car for her time on the Citadel and it was this rental that Liara piloted through the never-ceasing traffic of Zakera Ward towards their destination. The human did not utter so much as a single word throughout. Instead she sat staring out the side window, looking away from Liara. The asari felt like saying something, her mouth opening a few times as the temptation surged to almost irresistible levels. She always caught herself at the last minute though, and instead closed her mouth impotently each time as, previously confidence and consoling, words suddenly become limp and patronising. She turned her attention to the airways in front of her, focusing on getting them there as soon as possible and escaping the frigid atmosphere of the car.

Finally, they pulled out of the main traffic routes and headed down a relatively quiet side passage. Block 224 was mostly commercial, with many of the garish signs and exaggerated proclamations a familiar sight from her childhood. Very quickly she picked out three C-Sec Patrol Cars, distinguishable in their black and blue livery with sirens flashing red and blue respectively atop their canopies, parked around a small platform. Liara skilfully slipped their smaller and lighter car alongside them. Shepard had the canopy open before she could even kill the engine. The human Commander seemed to have forgotten she existed, allowing Liara to slip in behind her as she pushed past the two turians manning the perimeter, armed with assault rifles. Though they put up a token resistance, it seemed neither was willing to stand decisively in her way.

Lieutenant Girard was not difficult to pick out. He was the only human Officer there, accompanied by another pair of turians. These two were sporting shotguns. Liara looked at them, wondering just what they were expecting to happen, that they were so heavily armed. Girard was wringing his hands as he approached Shepard, his dark skin betraying his tropical, or at least sunny, origins.  
"Commander! Thank god you could come-" he began in the same distinct accent as before.

"-where is she?" Shepard's tone was clipped and her words to the point. Liara and Girard both understood that she was in no mood for conversation.

"Up that alleyway, behind the wall," he nodded behind him. Between two tall buildings there was a narrow path, shrouded mostly in shadow with only a few weak lamps to penetrate the murky depths. At the far end there was a low wall. It was too far for Liara to see anything but, given that she could see to the end of the alley, that had to be the only place she could be hiding, "be warned Commander, she is armed. She overpowered one of my officers and told his pistol."

"What? How did you let her get a weapon?" Shepard's voice was frosty in its reply, devoid of the usual warmth and friendliness that her tone carried. Her eyes flicked up to the shotguns being cradled by the two officers behind Girard and a nasty scowl crossed her features.

"It was an accident, I assure you," Girard put his hands up defensively, wilting somewhat under the harsh and not entirely deserved glare, "my man did not want to hurt her. This is a precaution," he jerked his head to the weapons, "in case she threatens someone else, but I think she is only a danger to herself. Here," he put his hand into his pocket and brought out a small, pink pill, "this is a sedative. It should calm her down enough for us to approach."

Shepard took the pill and, without another word, turned for the path. Liara went with her, fixing the poor human policeman with an apologetic grimace. Girard shook his head, brushing off her apology without concern. At least he recognised how difficult this was for the Commander.

Shepard walked slowly, trying to avoid spooking the Mindoir survivor who awaited her at the end of the narrow canyon. Liara could see her taking a very deep sigh before she stepped close enough to see over the low-lying masonry. There was a flash of movement as a girl emerged from the shadows, pointing a pistol at Shepard's chest.  
"Stay away!" she screamed, "stay away!"

By the goddess, she looked dreadful. She was human, but just barely. Her skin was a sickly white colour, waxen and unhealthy in a way that Liara had never seen before, while her eyes were wide and bulging in their sockets. Her head was shaved and there were deep scars running across every part of her body. She was very, very thin, with bones jutting out like support struts holding up a trembling and uncertain frame while the clothes she had been given just hung off her.

All colour drained from Shepard's face as she stared, lips parted ever so slightly as if she had seen a ghost. When she spoke, her voice was cracked, her mouth bone-dry.

"Dix?" She asked weakly, "...Dix...is that you?"

"She doesn't have a name!" the girl yelled back, spittle coating the front of the human's uniform, "animals don't get names! They get to dig and serve but they don't get names!"

"Dix...Talitha...it's me...it's Lauren..."

"Lauren? She doesn't know a Lauren. The masters weren't called Lauren...they stuck things into her back, hot symbols. They made her scream when they did it. It made them laugh."

"Talitha...what happened?" Shepard's voice was starting to sound like her face looked; drained of colour, drained of life, "what did they do to you?"

"They put her in a cage with the other animals. They screamed to get out but the masters sparked them. She stayed quiet. She thought they might leave her alone if she was quiet but they still sparked her. The pain...she promised to be good if the pain stopped. They made her dig. They made her work."

"Do you remember your parents?" the Commander pressed gently, taking a slow step towards the distressed girl, "Anna...Mark...mama and papa you called them. Do you remember them?"

"She...she remembers them...fighting the masters...they told her run...to hide...but, the masters have lights and tubes. Papa...he's melting...mama's screaming and she starts melting too! She tries to hide but they find her. The masters always find her. They drag her away...she screams and cries but they don't listen to her. They beat her when she wastes water...so she stops. Don't make her remember! She'll waste water!"

"How did you escape?" Shepard swallowed hard.

"Animals came. Animals with lights and tubes. They shout at the masters but the masters laugh. Their...their insides are all out! She tries to put them back in. She tries to fix the masters. Maybe if the masters are fixed, they won't be mad but the other animals...the other animals take her. They bring her here."

Stockholm syndrome. Liara thought grimly as she looked the poor girl over, she has become used to serving her captors over the years...when she was rescued. She didn't know what to do other than try to heal her enslavers...

Still, Talitha was half-talking, half-babbling, "she pretends she can't see them. If she can't see them then it's not real. It's not happening to her. But they see her. They see her and then she knows it's real. It's really happening to her! Why is it happening to her?"

"I was on Mindoir too, Talitha. I saw it all-" Shepard admitted softly.

"Liar! You get whipped for lying!" the girl snarled and the redhead took a hurried step back, "you couldn't be there! You're not like her! Why!? Why aren't you like her, it only to burrow and dig? Why?! What made you so special? Why aren't you broken?"

"I got lucky Talitha, that was it." Liara saw her fist clench, "but I was broken. I was broken for a long time. My parents died too, the...tubes...got them." She stopped, with a ragged breath, "but I kept going for them. Because they would have wanted me to. Your parents would've wanted you to go on too Talitha. They wouldn't want you to be like this."

"You...You're not like her...you're strong..." Talitha seemed confused by this for a moment before she began to slap herself hard on the side of her head with the pistol, "stupid, stupid animal!"

"Talitha, stop!" Shepard surged forward and Liara's breath caught in her throat. The Commander took a hold of the pistol, sliding a finger under the trigger to stop it being fired and pulled it from the girl's grip. As the weapon bounced away, she moved her hands down to hold Talitha's arms, taking her in a strong but gentle grasp, "Talitha. This is not you. You are more than this. You are more than your masters wanted you to be. Think back to Mindoir. Dix's Treats, on the corner of Hay Road. The shiny surfaces, the blue stools. The Raspberry ripple-"

"-cheesecake..." Talitha finished softly, abruptly shutting off the Commander, "...she...she remembers the raspberry ripple cheesecake. She...she likes it...She remembers mama...smiling at her...she wants to remember more...but she can't..."

"You will, Talitha, you will," Shepard put a hand into her pocket and took out the sedative, "take this. It'll put you to sleep. You'll go somewhere where they can help you remember."

The girl took the pill in a limp hand. Without so much as a hesitation she popped it into her mouth and swallowed it down. Liara could see it working immediately as her eyelids started to droop and her breathing became slower and slower. She looked at Shepard again, her voice slow and lazy,  
"Will she...will I have bad dreams?"

"Aww, come here," Shepard took the girl into a warm hug, wrapping her arms around the teenager. She flinched at first but within seconds, she had her arms around Shepard's neck, clinging to her like a child clung to her mother, holding her close, the first warm piece of contact in a long time, head resting in the nape of her neck. When Shepard spoke again, her voice was dull and heavy, "you'll dream of a warm, safe place. When you wake up, you'll be there. I'm here for you, Talitha. If you ever need to talk to me, I'll make sure you can. You're not alone any more, Dix. Remember that."

"...I...will. Thank you...Lauren..." She drifted off in the Commander's arms. Shepard held her like that for a few moments longer before bodily lifting her, supporting her in her arms like she was carrying a sleeping child, Talitha's limp head resting against her chest. Liara was shocked to see two pearly streaks down the human's cheeks while her eyes shimmered in the light. She did not say a word to the Asari, instead walking back down to where Girard was anxiously waiting. She handed Talitha to the C-Sec Lieutenant with some degree of reluctance.

"Wherever you take her," She said in the same voice, choked with emotion, "you let me know. You tell me where she's gone immediately. Your gun is down the alley still."

"I will Commander. Thank you." Girard nodded his head in thanks as he gently guided her to one of the waiting cars and one of the turians went to retrieve the weapon.

The journey back in the car was even more awkward than the original journey had been. Liara was still driving while Shepard dried her eyes with the back of her hand, fighting to regain her composure, sniffling deeply every few moments and exhaling heavily. The Archaeologist hesitated, glancing sideways every few moments before, finally, she worked up the courage to speak.

"Talitha...you knew her from Mindoir, didn't y-"

"-her name is Talitha Dixon," Shepard replied immediately, her voice still woollen, and thick "her father worked for mine. Her mother owned a café in the main colony. Every day after school we used to go there and gossip...mostly about nothing. Talitha was always there. She was too young to go anywhere with us when we talked but we always invited her. Her mother said no, but it always made her face light up." Shepard sighed and, for a moment, it looked like she was going to lose control again, her left hand clenching and unclenching. It was the same motion as when she had been with Talitha but now...her hand glowed blue as she channelled some of that natural gift into a little light show. The significance was her secret to keep.

"Leave me off here Liara. I need...to do some thinking. Contact me if anything comes up." Liara stopped at one of the platforms high off the ground and waited until the Spectre had clambered out. What the building did, and where she was, Liara did not know -she didn't think Shepard knew either- and though a thousand questions ran through her mind there was one concrete truth. Shepard needed some time alone.


	43. Chapter 43

AN: So this chapter is a bit shorter than the previous couple have been. Alas, University has finally taken it's toll and deadlines loom. Juggling between three assignments, writing two reports and finishing off two systems over thirteen hour days is not leaving much time for anything other than food and sleep. As such, expect these smaller chapters for a while. Sorry... :C

* * *

It was four days before the message came through for the crew to reassemble at the _Normandy_ and to prepare for immediate departure. Of course, there were a lot of groans, a lot of curses and a lot of complaints but though they grumbled, the crew were there within the hour. Kaidan had been most effective in his passing of Shepard's message and no one wanted to be on her bad side. The details of the mission were nothing more than rumour and hearsay. It was passed around for a while that they were heading back to Feros, that Saren had made a reappearance there and they were going to arrest him. Once that myth was thoroughly and convincingly debunked by XO Pressly, then other tales took its place. If one had listened in to every rumour and believed every earnest and passionate statement then the _Normandy_ was setting a roundabout course for every human planet in the Traverse, plus a few lesser known turian systems as well. The mission was strictly need to know and it just fuelled the gossip the longer that the Officers were silent.

Shepard had been a ghost for the past four days. Ever since she had left the range, which both Tali and Wrex confirmed, she had been contactable only by communicator. Garrus had got in touch after two days, with Lexx his partner, to explain that the ship she had asked traced was a dead end. Lots of unconnected stops and chartered from its last planet to Noveria. Pressly had also been in touch to say that the _Normandy_ was ready. She had not been in contact with the other crew and that was as much a subject of wild rumours as anything else. Someone claimed they had seen her in a nightclub in the wards on the first night of leave, knocking back drinks without a care in the world. That was quickly dismissed though. Others said she was meeting an illicit lover, that one was mocked mercilessly, and yet others that she was receiving vital intel or doing missions on the side.

Liara had been in contact once. She had sent a message through, the day after they had encountered Talitha. It was brief, to the point, a simple three word question; _how is she?_

Her reply had been equally as brief and terse than she had intended, than Liara deserved.

_'Taken to Centre in Wards.'_

Lieutenant Girard had been true to his word. He had sent her an address where she could keep in contact with Talitha and that was exactly what she was doing. She had been moved to a centre in the Wards that specialised in re-rehabilitating former slaves, in helping to overcome their problems and to reintegrate with the outside world. When she had first entered the white, clinical facility, she had felt a growing unease. Sheppard couldn't tell what it was that so had her heckles raised at first sight but she supposed it was all the doctors wandering around. She didn't like doctors. Well...she didn't_mind_ them as such, but she was wary. Doctors carried with them a lot of raw and painful memories. A bit like Talitha herself...her left fist clenched again, almost an automatic reaction when she thought too much about Mindoir and what had happened there. The same hand went up to her face, to the scar that ran across her nose, a trophy from the night when she had lost everything...

Talitha had her own room and she seemed fairly content but there were problems. The staff were frank with the Commander as they listed the issues they had encountered so far. She was prone to mood swings, violent anger directed at everything and everyone or severe, life-threatening depression. She couldn't remember much and it frustrated her when she couldn't bring it to the surface. In spite of this, the staff were optimistic that they could help her. It was very early days but they would be as patient as they needed to be. Shepard just wanted to hug them, to thank them for being so understanding.

She spent as long as she could with the girl without disrupting the staff's work, which was pretty much the entire day. Talitha seemed content in the redhead's presence but was frightened if someone she didn't recognise came into the room. She also wasn't sleeping, a feeling that Shepard could empathise with entirely. The ex-slave had no memory of her but then that was hardly surprising. She had only been six when she was taken and there had been a hell of a lot of shit thrown at her since then. Shepard always left just before nightfall, the staff wanted Talitha to at least _try_ and sleep, and it was then that she was assaulted by a dark whirlpool of poison that opened up in her very soul. Suddenly Shepard did not want to be alone by herself, she did want to be alone with her own thoughts. She went to a nightclub and had a long drink. She was there until closing time, when she was exhausted that her body took over and forced her to sleep. She was there again the second night as well, desperate to be anywhere that drowned out the bubbling hatred.

On the third night, she had called Anderson. To her surprise, all he did was ask her for an address. Within an hour, he was there. No explanation of how he had gotten away, no promise of how long he would stay. They had hugged. That was what she had needed more than anything. He spent the night with her at the small flat she had taken out for the week, close to the Centre. It was a single, but he had no problem crashing on the couch. Though she stayed silent, the gratitude and warmth she felt for him was indescribable. When she woke up the next morning and saw him snorting on his stomach, makeshift covers scattered everywhere, she actually cracked a smile. It felt like she had not smiled in such a long time. He agreed to accompany her to see Talitha. The girl was anxious of him at first but Anderson said all the right things, made all the right moves and the fact he was with Shepard calmed the girl down. That day, when they again left her to sleep, Shepard made Anderson promise to be there for her, to try and visit her at least once a day and to be her contact on the Citadel, if Shepard was out on assignment. He was hesitant at first, but her pleading eyes eventually convinced him.

Even so, it was still with a storm cloud over her head that Shepard returned to the _Normandy._ When she met with the crew, who threw her jibes and gags, she smiled, laughed and retaliated as if nothing was wrong. As if shore leave had just been like any other. She would not let the crew knew what had happened, how dark and toxic her thoughts had become. Away from the crew she was subdued, quiet. She kept flexing her fist and a hand kept coming up to the big scar across her face when she thought no one was looking. Most of the crew hadn't noticed but she knew Liara had spotted it and she was not the only one. Kaidan kept giving her worried glances when he thought her back was turned while Garrus seemed more rigid and uptight than usual. Even Wrex seemed grumpier, in a constant bad mood. It was if Shepard's dourness was slowly infecting everyone else and that, if anything, put her in an even worse mood.

Late on the first day of their three day journey, she was passing through the ship, her thoughts jumbled and yet fixed on a single purpose. It was getting to the point that she was going to have to break the news to everyone. She would address the crew over the PA system but first she had to tell Liara. She wanted her to be the first to know.

Chakwas nodded to her in greeting as she passed through the Medical bay, heading for the small office beyond. The Scientist was running scans on an artefact they had found in a sweep of a gas giant's orbit, hoping that perhaps it was a Prothean artefact that would help them with the Conduit. The door hissed open as the Commander entered but Liara did not turn around. It was only when Shepard cleared her throat that she spun around, eyes wide.

Shepard just stood there. She was shifting her weight from one foot to the other, her hands constantly fidgeting. She was sheepish...almost embarrassed. Liara licked her lips but said nothing...she wasn't really sure what to say...neither was Shepard...the silence dragged on...

"I'm just wanted to make sure you're okay..." Shepard explained before her voice ebbed away to leave a lingering silence like a gentle morning mist. Even to her it sounded weak. After just long enough for it to be gut-wrenchingly embarrassed, she coughed, "have you heard about our mission?"

Liara shook her head, "only what I have heard from the crew. They have...vivid imaginations."

"Don't I know it" Shepard tried to smile, but found she just couldn't make herself, "the truth is that we're going to Noveria. We're going after Benezia."

She had not been sure how Liara would react to the news but she had embraced herself for the worst. She was ready for tears, for anger, maybe even for fists. As it was, she got none of those. Liara clenched her jaw and then relaxed again, blinking slowly.  
"I see, thank you Commander for letting me know."

"That's it?" Shepard was off balance and stuck for something to say. None of her prepared answers really fitted the reply the Asari had given her, "you're not mad?"

"Benezia is working with Saren. She is a threat to galactic peace. Your job is to stop Saren and that means stopping Benezia as well. I can accept that."

"That's not what I asked though."

Liara pursed her lips, "what can I say Shepard? I'm part of a team going after my own mother, a mother who has betrayed everything she ever taught me. It hasn't sunk in yet. It probably never will."

"I understand this is difficult for you Liara. I trust you, but if you want to sit this one out then I'll accept that."

"No," Liara answered quickly, looking up in panic, "no...that would be even worse. I need to be there Shepard. I need to...see her..."  
"Okay," The Commander nodded. She could feel the fear radiating from the young alien but she could also hear the steel in her voice. She knew Liara would see this through to the end. "I just wanted you to know before I announce it to the crew. I'll talk to you later." She turned to go.

"Commander!" Liara hesitated, "how is Talitha?"

That stopped her. Instead of opening the door, she leant against it, pressing her shoulder into the metal as casual as could be. She had been doing a good job of keeping a mask up before...now she knew the cracks were showing.

"Fine," she tried to keep cheerfully upbeat but it fell flat after a few minutes of effort, "Struggling , but she'll get through it. I introduced her to Dav...Captain Anderson. He's there if she needs someone to talk to."

She began to squeeze her left fist again, quietly, down by her side as if she was preparing a biotic punch. She had tried to stop it before but the motion was a way of venting it, a way of stopping her from punching something. Liara could see the gesture, but she hoped the Archaeologist would just ignore it.

She answered quietly, almost a hesitant whisper, "This hurts you, doesn't it?"

Shepard looked at her. Liara looked horrified by what she had said, it was so incredibly blunt it caught her off guard. The insensitivity of it should have stung her a lot more than it did. She should have been angry, judging from Liara's expression, she was expecting anger but...really...she just felt drained of anger after four days of nothing else. She nodded, settling down on one of the spare seats in the office beside Liara, her head in her hands.

"It's been a hard few days. Talitha was only six when they took her but...you saw the state she was in...that could have been _me._ It _should_ have been me." Her fist sparked blue, almost of its own accord. Her voice was low and despondent, the weight of the past crushing down on her.

"Shepard, what happened on Mindoir?" Liara asked quietly, putting a hand on her shoulder. Shepard made no move to stop her.

Shepard looked at her for a long time, "I...I can't tell you. Not yet. I'm sorry Liara," she closed her eyes and exhaled, her shoulders sagging. After just a moment, Liara leant in and kissed her on the cheek.

Shepard turned to look at her, bright blue eyes wide, mouth hanging open slightly. Liara herself look mortified, a bright blush starting to spread into her cheeks. She parted her lips to speak, to apologise perhaps, to excuse herself. The Commander did not care. Placing a hand on the asari's blue skin, she leant in and kissed her softly, their warm lips connected, heads twisting to get a better angle at one another, tasting each other. The human felt her eyes go half-lidded, just lost in the moment, this moment.

Abruptly, Liara pulled away. The blush was still there, brighter than ever before. She licked her lips, almost disbelievingly before abruptly standing, "I'm sorry Commander. I shouldn't have kept you."

"Yeah..." Shepard stood in a half-daze and left with only a brief backwards glance. Liara was staring very determinedly at the screen, leant over the screen, and so she left without another word. What the hell had just happened?


	44. Chapter 44

Ah, the time of year when final exams and the end of University life loom large! I've been pulling 14 hour days and writing dozens of pages of reports so this is all I could squeeze out between eating and sleeping. I apologise for the shortness but it's surprisingly hard to type after a dozen pages of Systems Reports! Anyways, hope you enjoy!

* * *

It took Shepard about ten minutes to work her mind from the stunned daze it had settled in. During that period, she kept replaying events over and over again in her head, trying to work out just what had happened and, more importantly, why. She had only gone to Liara to tell her where they were going, because she felt she owed her that honesty. Very quickly, things had gone from talking about Liara to herself, especially about Mindoir. She had been in a very bad place about Mindoir the past few days but it had been her place. She had not even told Anderson about it. Liara had to say but one sentence and Shepard spilled everything? That wasn't like her, to reveal her darkest fears at such a simple query.

Then Liara had kissed her.

It was only a kiss on the cheek, perhaps to try and make her feel better? A consoling gesture more than anything else? No. No she had seen the look in Liara's eyes, the hunger and desire that burned like pyres in her emerald gaze. She recognised them because she knew they were the same emotions which burned inside of her. She was not in a great frame of mind but that did not explain why she had done what she had. She kissed Liara, full on the lips, and she had responded. It was brief, instincts overriding logic, before the Asari had returned to her senses. Had she just reacted on instinct as well? Had she been driven by the sudden need for affection, after four days of bubbling, boiling rage, or was it a desire to feel human again, to know that she could feel something other than that hatred and those dark urges that nestled at the back of her mind? She didn't know...and frankly, trying to think about it was giving her a headache. She needed a walk to calm her down, to give her time to think.

It was the 'grave yard' shift aboard the _Normandy_, with the majority of the crew either asleep or relaxing. As a result, there were very few people wandering about as she got into the lift and headed down to the cargo bay. It was quiet there, somewhere for her to take stock and stretch her legs away from prying eyes. She was moving on autopilot more than anything else when she got a buzz in her ear.

"Commander?" Her heart skipped a beat as she thought it might be Liara trying to contact her, to ask her back, to apologise, to _speak_ to her. It took all of a second heartbeat to realise that the voice was, in fact, male.

"Go ahead Joker," She replied, hoping her pause had gone unnoticed.

If Joker had picked up on it, he didn't comment, "Ma'am, HQ has just gotten in contact. The _Ligny_ has taken up position at the Pax Relay, awaiting your arrival."

"Thanks Joker." in all the chaos, she had forgotten about the _Ligny_. Hackett had ordered the frigate to patrol the relay in case Benezia tried to escape before the _Normandy_ could arrive on scene. She was grateful to Hackett for the foresight. If she let Benezia slip out of her fingers in the same way she had let Saren on Feros then there would be hell to pay on all sides.

The lift ground to a halt as it reached the basement floor, the cargo hold. She stepped out into the dimly-lit area, half expecting to see the usual gang down here. Wrex normally spent his time down here out of the way while Garrus liked to help the engineers work on the Mako between missions. At first glance, she thought there was no one down here until a movement from the far corner caught her eye, the weapons table.

Ashley was working away, her movements seamless as she took a rifle apart like a child's toy and began to oil the different components. Shepard was tempted to leave her to it, she seemed preoccupied, but an instinct in the back of her mind reached out and grabbed her. Before she knew it, she was walking over to the Gunnery Chief.

Ashley did not notice her until she was virtually over her shoulder. The woman flinched, as if she had been doing something wrong before snapping to attention, "Commander, ma'am!"

"Relax Ash," Shepard chuckled at the ramrod stiff Marine, "I'm off duty. And so are you. Lacey could be doing this." She looked over her shoulder at the weapons. It looked as though she was cleaning the entire arsenal.

"Yeah, but he's needed on the bridge. Besides, it gives me a chance to watch some vids from home." She nodded to the small datapad perched against a rifle butt. The footage had just finished playing. The woman on the screen looked a lot like Ashley, the same sharp nose, the same eyes and even the same hair colour. They could have been confused for twins.

Shepard nodded to the picture, "Your sister, I'm guessing."

"Right, one of four," Ashley nodded, "I picked up some mail when we were on the Citadel. Thought I'd listen to it now when I've got some privacy."

The Commander picked up the unspoken message, "You want me to go?"

"No no," Ashley shook her head, "You can stay. Cleaning weapons isn't quite as fun as I remember it being."

"No arguments here," Shepard laughed as she pushed in beside Ashley, picked up a weapon and began to take it apart.

"My dad used to hate it. He used to spend hours moaning about the state of his weapon."

"Oh, I didn't know your father was in the service."

"Yeah, joined when he was eighteen. Just like his father before him was part of the United American Army. We come from a long line of soldiers."

"Is that why you joined?"

"Partially. It was more because I wanted to see the galaxy y'know?_I cannot rest from travel: I will drink__  
__Life to the lees; all times I have enjoy'd__g__reatly, have suffer'd greatly, both with those__t__hat loved me, and alone.__For always roaming with a hungry heart. Much have I seen and known; cities of men and manners, climates, councils, governments._"

Shepard stopped to listen as Ashley spoke, her voice soft and pronounced, full of strength and yet sorrow.

"Tennyson, right?" She asked.

Ashley nodded, "my father's favourite poem. He used to tell it to me when he was on leave. Talking about all the places he'd been, all the things he'd seen."

"Would I have heard of him?"

Ashley paused, the hesitation dragging on. Shepard was beginning to wonder if she had offended her in some way when the Chief replied hurriedly, "No ma'am! My father never made it beyond Serviceman 3rd Class."

"What?" Now Shepard looked at her, "your father was a career Marine but never got a single promotion?"

"No ma'am. He worked his ass off. Took every shit assignment he could get, volunteered for all the extra missions he could but he never got a single damned promotion. Not even for experience."

"That's...not right," Shepard frowned, racking her brain for reasons that it could have happened. The most obvious one she could think of was that he had made a mess somewhere in his career. It seemed a bit cruel to voice that, but she could not think of any other reason why a man, who had served since he was a teenager would be passed over his entire life.

"No, it's not. He was so happy when I made it to Second Class. I thought he was going to cry."

"Well, I'm sure he's proud of you now, a Gunnery Chief."

"I'm sure he is." Ashley gave a wounded smile, "he died before I made it."

"I am sorry to hear that." Shepard replied.

"Thank you. I know he's looking down on me and he is proud." Another pause, "You don't think that's weird do you? That I believe in a higher being?"

"Why would I?" The redhead shrugged, "it's hard not to believe we're being guided. That there's someone out there looking over us. Even if he is a bit quiet at times." She sighed.

"I heard about Talitha," Ashley spoke slowly, as if she was afraid of stepping on a verbal landmine, "I'm glad she's alright."

"Yeah," Shepard nodded half-heartedly, "tell me about your sisters. Any of them in the service?"

"God, no," Ashley laughed, "none of them are really the soldier types. Abby is an architect, Lynn is training to become an accountant, and Sara is finishing off College. I'm the only idiot who joined the Marines."

"I think 'idiot' is a strong word." Shepard frowned, "sound like a smart bunch of girls to me."

"I guess," Ashley growled, "but it takes a real idiot to join a career where you're black-listed."

"Black listed?"

"You remember Shanxi? The first human colony? Fell during the First Contact War, the only human territory ever lost to an alien race? My grandfather was General Landon Williams."

"Ah. I see," that made sense. General Williams was held in disgrace for his surrender of Shanxi, though every report Shepard had ever read suggested he was a hero. He held out against superior opposition and only gave in when the turians threatened to destroy the colony. He was a scapegoat and nothing more.

"Yeah, of course you do. Is that a black mark against me now Commander? Am I the granddaughter of the Shanxi Kitten?" Ashley's voice was hard and bitter, gearing herself for an argument.

Shepard just shook her head, "I don't care who your grandfather was or what he did. You're a good soldier in my books, Ash. He doesn't change that."

"I...thanks Skipper, that means a lot." Ashley looked at her with a warm, and slightly uncertain smile.

Shepard returned the gesture and spoke in a joking voice, "now come on. You might be a good soldier but if my gun falls apart in the next fight, I might have to change my mind."


	45. Chapter 45

AN: Hey everyone, sorry again for the short 'filler-style' chapter but I am now in the middle of my finals and studying for those. It is time-consuming as all hell but I thought I would throw this up, just to give people something to read. I did intend to put this discussion in somewhere and this seemed as good a place as any. Rest assured, normal service will resume next week. I can only apologise again for the brevity of this chapter.

* * *

After leaving Ashley to finish off the weapons and watch her remaining videos from home, Shepard headed for the engineering bay. She liked going there during the graveyard shift. Normally crammed with Engineers, during the 'night' there tended to be only one or two people and so nice and quiet. Sure enough, when the doors hissed open to grant her admittance there were just two Engineers standing conversing quietly at one of the consoles. They saluted her as she entered but she quickly waved them of. Normally, Chief Engineer Adams would have been here making sure to squeeze every last drop of power from the massive drive-core but even his Engineers needed a break. As such, she was fairly confident she could get an hour or so to herself to just think on everything with the periodic pulsing of the Tantalus Drive Core the only backdrop.

She leant against the railing, looking up at the massive core that powered her ship, made all this possible and let her mind begin to drift away. She was tired, her eyelids feeling heavy and her body drained. She had not had the best sleep during her unscheduled shore leave and she was sure it would continue even away from the Citadel. She should really get to bed but something was stopping her, an active block in her mind that seemed to disbar any notion of lying down and just going to sleep. She knew why. She knew her dreams would again be haunted by dark shadows, ugly and terrifying monsters rising up from the pits of her subconscious to torture her, to strain and stretch until she awoke the next morning, feeling more drained and empty than she had the night before. She closed her eyes and exhaled, as if that alone would be enough to exorcise the demons and plagued her.

"Shepard, I did not expect to see you here."

The distinct young and synthesized voice drifted in from behind her and immediately, Shepard opened her eyes and turned around. Tali was standing there, looking a bit unsure herself, hands fidgeting with one another frantically. Though she could not see clearly through the translucent visor, she got the idea that the young Quarian's eyes were flicking from side to side, "is something wrong?"

Shepard shook her head, offering a warm smile, "No no. I just couldn't sleep. I'm surprised to see you here. Shouldn't you be getting some rest?"

Tali shrugged her slight shoulders, "I can't really sleep either. I keep waking up in a cold sweat when I can't hear the engines. It's very discomforting."

The human frowned, "You can't sleep because it's too quiet?"

"On the Migrant Fleet, when things go quiet it means that something is wrong. Badly wrong. I'm not used to being on a ship this advanced, where everything just works."

"The Migrant Fleet sounds fun."

"It's not easy but it's honest, I guess. We have to develop close relationships or else we'd just tear one another apart."

"You miss it?"

"Every day." Tali leant beside Shepard, staring at the spinning arms of the core as they lazily swept around in a circle, "I used to hate it. I used to hate the cramped conditions, the constant breakdowns, the lack of...everything. I couldn't wait to get out on my pilgrimage. Now that I'm here...I miss the bustle, I miss the noise..."

"It's natural to feel homesick," Shepard nodded, "when I first deployed on the fleet. It felt weird too." _though not for the same reason you're feeling though_. "Maybe that's part of the lesson. Sometimes you don't know what you've got until its gone."

"That's true," Tali nodded in a quiet voice, "I'm starting to think the pilgrimage is really about. It's given me a whole new perspective on my people."

"Why do they send you out on the pilgrimage? My knowledge of quarian culture is lacking somewhat."

"Well, officially we're told that it's to find something of use to the flotilla. We travel the stars, seeking anything the fleet could use. When we find it, we present it to a new ship in the fleet. The Captain accepts it and the quarian is inducted into the new crew. It's a journey from childhood into adulthood, a chance to prove that we can contribute to the running of the flotilla."

"What kind of stuff do you need to find?"

"Anything useful; technology, minerals, even knowledge. Anything that makes our lives a little easier or adds something to the fleet. Unofficially though, it's as much about proving ourselves and giving us a chance to see the galaxy, to understand there is more beyond the hulls of our vessels. There's a lot more pressure on me, because of my father."

"Your father?" Shepard looked over, interested.

"My father is a member of the Admiralty Board, one of the military leaders of the fleet. He's got a reputation as one of the greatest Admirals of all time. He didn't say it but I know he's expecting great things from me." Shepard could see the girl's shoulders slump from the sudden weight pressing down on her.

"Well, then we'll need to make sure you go back with something good." Shepard joked, trying to cheer her up.

"Oh, there's no need to do that Shepard, I joined this mission of my own free will. Once it's over, I'll find something I can present."

"Hey, you're part of my crew. I'll do whatever I can to help." She grinned at the Quarian, "when we find something, anything you think that would make a good gift then let me know."

"Thanks Shepard. I appreciate that." It was so hard to tell with quarians but Shepard could have sworn she was smiling.

"No problem. I think I'll try getting some sleep. You coming?"

"No thanks. I think I'll stay here and work on the engine if that's okay?"

"Sure, Adams won't mind. Hell, he was talking to me about employing you." She chuckled. Tali did not respond but she noticed how the Quarian straightened up and puffed her chest out a bit. Obviously Adams had not told her how good he considered her to be. She turned and headed from the room, just in time to stifle a yawn. She was tired. So she should go and get some sleep she supposed. The thought filled her with no joy but it was necessary. She just hoped it was more peaceful tonight but she knew it wouldn't be.

She hated it when she was right...


	46. Chapter 46

AN: Horaay! That is University finished forever! No more studying! No more working into the early hours of the morning! No more stress...until I get a job...then it all starts again...

But until that happy time, I'm feeling in a creative mood, so here is an extra-loooong chapter as a kind of 'sorry' for all the short filler you've been getting for the past couple of weeks. Hopefully you will enjoy!

* * *

Shepard wanted to be on the bridge when the _Normandy_ finally dropped into the Pax System. Partly it was because she wanted to know immediately if something had happened, if Benezia had tried to run the blockade or, worse, if Saren had dropped in while she was on her way. That was what she had told herself anyway. The truth was that it was probably the only place in the ship she could be confident of not running into Liara. It had been two days since that moment, that one brief and impulsive moment when a lifetime of hurt had finally become came to a head. Her mind had been scrambled ever since, at least every time she tried to think of Liara. Regular work on the ship was fine, it gave her something to focus on, but when she tried to think of the Archaeologist hiding behind the medical bay...it was if her mind shut down in protest and refused to deal with the thousands of scenarios she threw at it. What if it had just been impulse? What if Liara felt sorry for her? What if she meant it? What if she didn't? These were questions she had no real answer to. She had promised herself to stay out of Liara's way until she was sure she knew what she wanted to say and do.

Unfortunately, it was taking much, much longer than she had originally hoped for. Liara had obviously gone for the same policy, for she had only come out of her cave for meal times or to use the primitive bathroom aboard the frigate. Beyond that, she had gone into her shell completely. Even with the _Normandy_ being as small as it was, they had managed to steer clear of one another. There had been one time, yesterday lunch, when the two of them had ended up getting food together. Fortunately, there were a half dozen other people around so they had been able to ignore one another quite easily...well...easy was the wrong word. Shepard had kept looking over at her, hoping to catch her doing the same but without joy. Liara's gaze was welded to her dinner tray, finishing her food and leaving without a word to anyone. With a leaden gut, she had made small talk with Ashley and Kaidan about the new Blasto film that was coming out in a few weeks while, nearby, Tali and Garrus bonded over their mutual disgust of the dextro-amino slop that the Alliance had so kindly provided. This shared viewpoint was then relayed to the Commander, who pointed out that their own food was hardly gourmet. Nonetheless, they twisted her arm and she agreed to buy them something more palatable when they were next on the Citadel.

Aside from that one potential flashpoint, she thought her Liara-abstinence was going well, but there was a problem; peaking over the horizon, getting bigger and brighter with each passing second. A problem that she shared with Kaidan in her office on the evening before they reached the Pax System.

"-what am I going to do? I've been keeping her at arms length for the past few days but we're about to go on a mission. I can hardly keep away from her then." She was leaning against her desk, arms folded as she chewed her bottom lip in agitation.

The Lieutenant, to his credit, had stood and listened as she explained the whole thing, what had happened. She omitted the parts about Mindoir but he was a bright man and no doubt he could work it out for himself. Now that he was finally invited to speak, the best he could do was shrug. When he saw the flash of irritation in his commander's features, he quickly elaborated, "Leave her behind?"

"I can't do that," Shepard sighed, a hand coming up to play with a strand of ruby hair which had fallen over her face, "it'll look as though I don't trust her. And we can't go into a mission like this a person down."

"How about one of the Marines? Chase or Lowe or Royle?"

"Chase, Lowe and Royle don't have biotics. I mean, you, me and Wrex all have them but come on, Liara's are the most developed by far and we'll _need_ that edge against a Matriarch," She groaned, as if the problem was causing her physical pain.

"Maybe she'll want to sit it out? I wouldn't want to be fighting my own mother like this, so maybe she'll want to back off?"

"...perhaps. That still leaves us one biotic down though."

"Look, Shepard, I don't think there's an answer here where everyone comes out smelling of roses. It's a decision you're going to have to make; either we don't bring her and try to cope as best we can, or we do, and then you two die of awkwardness long before we reach Benezia. Which is less fun?"

"Yeah, thanks Kaidan. You've been a real help."

And he had. When she sat down and thought about it before deciding that not having the biotics on her team would pose a greater risk than just bringing her along. Sure, it would be uncomfortable but then, Marine life was about being uncomfortable. At the Macapá boot camp, Gunny Ellison had given her one piece of advice,

"_Being a Marine is not a walk in the park. Being a Marine is not a trip to the funfair. You are not a part of some Pee Wee soccer team, you cannot just 'sit this one out'. You do not moan and you do not complain. You grow a pair and you suck it up!"_

So she had. Now she was on the bridge, standing over Joker's shoulder just as the rainbow kaleidoscope of faster-than-light travel melted away to leave them in the stark darkness of space. The _Normandy_ took a moment to collect herself before darting out towards the blue and white ice-ball that was Noveria.

"Ma'am, incoming message from the _Ligny._"

"Patch it through, Pressly." She turned and strode back to the CIC and the Galaxy map, which was rotating slowly, dots of light flickering and disappearing, their lifespans the length of a few seconds as their data was imparted onto the map, their legacy being small labels of note or deployments. In the Pax System, there were two flashing beacons with the tags _SR-1_ and _FF-44_. The _Ligny_ was a _Waterloo_-Class Frigate, larger than the _Normandy_, more heavily armed and armoured but slower and without the stealth drive. In terms of blockade, she was more than enough to stop any merchant ship from slipping through.

Against Saren's flagship though...she wasn't even a speed bump...

"Commander Rao, what's the condition of our guest?"

"No contact, Commander Shepard," the male, voice responded, heavily infused with the accent of the Indian subcontinent, "her ship is still docked. There have been a few ships in and out but nothing to cause concern."

"Thank you, are we relieving you?"

"Negative, my orders are to remain here until the Matriarch can be accounted for."

"Understood_ Ligny,_ we'll move in. _Normandy_ out."

Cutting the connection, Shepard headed back down to the cockpit where Joker was just guiding the frigate down into the grey and stormy, white flecked sky of Noveria. The pilot nodded to her as his hands danced across the console in front of him,

"Noveria Control, this is the SSV _Normandy_ requesting a vector and a berth."

The reply was instant, a male turian whose very voice seemed to imbue paranoia and distrust, "_Normandy_, your arrival is unscheduled! State your business here!"

"_Citadel_ business," Joker snapped back, "we have a Council Spectre aboard."

"...one moment," that knocked the voice, "we're running your credentials. If we cannot confirm your identity, your vessel will be impounded."

"T'hell it will," The Flight Lieutenant muttered under his breath. Shepard just raised an eyebrow.

"..._Normandy_, identification has been confirmed. You may run in vector 4.2, berth 3. A security escort will meet you there."

"A what?" Shepard asked, but the connection had already been cut, "god damn it."

"Friendly bunch," Joker sighed, "I think I'll take my next vacation here."

Shepard rolled her eyes and marched for the airlock as Joker skilfully rode the screaming winds and blizzards buffeting the ship to guide her into the narrow berth. The entire team were assembled at the airlock, wearing their combat armour with weapons strapped to their backs and hips. Liara was there, behind Wrex, moving in time with the big krogan so she was almost entirely concealed from Shepard. The woman looked at her.

_'Is she _hiding_ from me?'_

There was a slight shudder as the _Normandy _slipped into her berth, resting with a low contented hum. Shepard pushed her way to the front of the group with the door to the airlock hissing open. The first thing that hit her was the biting cold as the open hanger filled with swirling, dancing snow. She stepped out, the team following her and straight into a trio of humans wearing light combat armour and carrying shotguns.

"Commander Shepard, welcome to Noveria," the woman in the centre, an Asian girl with black hair, nodded her head, "my name is Captain Matsuo and I am in charge of Noveria's Internal Security. Normally, I would ask for your weapons-" Wrex snarled, making the woman stutter into silence. The guard to her right, a blonde-haired human with a hard expression, scowled.

"-but Spectres are permitted to carry them. Unfortunately, I must ask that you have an escort accompany you on your mission while in Port Hanshen. Sergeant Sterling here," she indicated to the blonde, "will be your guide in the Port. If you have any concerns you may speak to her. Have a pleasant day," she bowed her head and departed, leaving Shepard's team alone with the Noverian Security Officer.

"A pleasure to meet you Sergeant," Shepard smiled, "I'll try to keep as low key as I can."

"See that you do," Sterling snapped, "you being here is a pain in the ass. So let's get you out of here asap."

Shepard blinked. A few of the others muttered and growled but a hand from the Commander quickly silenced them. She looked at the woman with a sweet smile, "well then, let's get on with it shall we? Who's in charge of this port?"

"Administrator Anoleis." Stirling answered with some reluctance, "but he's a busy man. No time in his schedule."

"Don't worry," Shepard grinned, "he'll make time for me."

* * *

Shepard and her team were guided through the main foyer of Port Hanshen, the capital of Noveria and immediately, two things struck the Spectre. The first was that the howling winds and swirling snow beyond the plated windows seemed to infect everything within with a steely chill she had never experienced anywhere else. The second thing she noticed were the leering and rather unfriendly gazes from all those she passed. With Sergeant Sterling walking in front of them in the sort of rigid pose of a military woman on patrol, Shepard felt like a prisoner being taken to the cells in chains. In fact, she was pretty sure that prisoners and criminals would get a less frosty reception than she was receiving. It was making her edgy, a little nervous even, to the point that her hand had dropped to her holster was staying there. The same mood had clearly affected the rest of her team too, for they had all subconsciously moved a little closer to her, either for her own protection or their own peace of mind it was hard to say.

The Administrator's office was located on a level overlooking the main foyer, with panoramic views that stretched right back to the far wall, extending over shops, cafés and hotels. The corridor that led to it seemed to have an armoured and armed turian standing watch every few paces, as immovable as statues. She was very much reminded of Barla Von's office, on the day that she had gone to see him with Garrus about his Saren intelligence. In that case though, Barla Von was taking justifiable precautions against a real threat. Here it seemed excessive, considering the peaceful situation. These were not just uniformed officers with side arms either. They were wearing proper combat armour and all sporting assault rifles of local make. The insignia suggested they were a private military company. They looked intimidating and daunting to the untrained eye but to Shepard they looked bored and unimpressive. In spite of the numbers up here and down on the ground floor, Shepard strongly suspected that a good Alliance Company could have the port secured within two hours.

They passed into the front reception area of the Administrator's office, where a bored Receptionist waved them through without so much as a second glance. The guard right outside the door however, did have something more to say.  
"Halt." Shepard stopped. The guard looked her straight in the eye, his entire stance exuding hostility, "not all of you can see the Administrator. The Sergeant and the _Spectre_ only." he nearly spat the word, as if his mouth was rebelling at the mere effort of saying it.

Sensing that argument would be a waste of energy, the auburn-haired soldier turned to the six members of her team and nodded back to the reception area. They got the message and tramped back, some with great reluctance. Kaidan in particular seemed worried but she caught his eye and gave him the slightest nod. She could handle herself.

The pair of humans stepped into the office. It was expansive, surprisingly so considering how little space was actually taken up within it. The walls were curved stone, interlaced with the sort of over-engineered glass framework that only a truly decadent and wasteful society could acquire. In the middle of the bare room was a single desk, playing host only to a computer monitor and a keyboard. Sitting behind the desk was a Salarian with purple skin and large, black eyes. He was typing frantically into the computer, like the student at the end of the exam scrambling to get his answers written in time, while seemingly content to ignore the two armour clad people who had stepped into his office.

After just long enough for it to be blatant that he was ignoring them, Shepard cleared her throat, attempting to hide her impatience, "Administrator Anoleis? Thank you for taking the time to see me."

"In a minute!" He snapped back, making the Commander blink. He typed a few more commands into his console before finally turning to look at her. Even though his gaze kept flicking back to his screen, Shepard could tell that his attention was focused entirely on her, "yes, what do you want?"

"Well, as I said Administrator, thank you for-"

"Dispense with the pleasantries Shepard, I have no time for them," he replied hotly, leaning forward on his desk, "my duties require me to meet you in person and ascertain your motives. I will co-operate only within the very sentences of the treaty that lets you stand there. Beyond that, I have no interest in either seeing or speaking with you."

"I see," Shepard tried to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace, "well, I'll be brief then. I am here tracking down an Asari Matriarch by the name of Benezia. She is a wanted fugitive in Council space and I intend to bring her to justice. Can you give me her location?"

There was a pause, a surprise from the normally very quick-witted and fast-tongued race. She got the impression he was weighing up his reply very, very carefully, "the Matriarch is not here. She passed through the Port on her way to Peak 15."

"What's at Peak 15?" Shepard pursed her lips and beat down the anticipation rising up in her gut. Benezia had not come here coincidentally. This was definitely tied into Saren and the Reapers. If she could find what was happening here...

"I don't know Commander and even if I did, I would not be at liberty to discuss it. The Matriarch was here on behalf of another shareholder-"

"-Not Saren, by any chance?" She asked dryly, her hope well and truly punctured.

"Again Shepard, I will not answer such flippant remarks." Anoleis gave a loud sigh as if dealing with a child, "Benezia is there. Not here and no, before you ask, I don't know when she'll return."

"Did she bring any cargo? Any passengers?"

"A squad of Commandos acting as a bodyguard and a large amount of cargo yes."

"Will you tell me why you let a Matriarch being through here with a whole squad of Commandos?" Shepard went wide-eyed, "What's in the cargo?"

"They followed all our procedures, I had no reason to bar her from bringing them," The Salarian shrugged, "and I will not divulge confidential information about Noveria's clients. I have nothing more to say on the matter."

"Then I need to get to Peak 15."

"Impossible, communications have been cut by the storm," He nudged his head to the window and the grey maelstrom beyond.

"You are kidding, right?" The human folded her arms, unable to keep the incredulity from her voice, "are you telling me there's no way to Peak 15? Air? Land? Tunnelling? Orbital drop?"

"They are cut off, Shepard, don't make an issue of this. You may wander around the Port as you wish and wait for the Matriarch to return. Stay out of the way." Anoleis dropped his head back to his computer, as clear a sign as any that she was dismissed.

"_Pleasure_ speaking to you, Administrator," Shepard nodded her head, but her voice was so filled with sarcasm that she was sure he would reply. He did not. As she turned though, she noticed out of the corner of her eye, a slight nod from the Salarian. He was not nodding at her, he was nodding at the Sergeant standing over her shoulder. Shepard made no comment, she just left, aware of the Salarian stare burning a hole into her armour.

* * *

"This is ridiculous, Shepard! You're a Council Spectre, he can't just treat you like that!" Garrus was bristling with agitation, his mandibles flicking madly. It was almost as if he took Shepard's story of what happened with the Administrator as a slight against the Council itself.

"Unfortunately, it seems he can," She sighed in reply, running a hand through her hair, mind racing. They were back on the _Normandy_, sitting in the communications room, which was the only place in the entire port she would be confident of telling her team the entire story without Sergeant Sterling watching. At first, she had thought the woman was there to make sure she didn't get into any trouble with the local Corporations but only after the meeting with Anoleis did she realise her true purpose; to make sure that Shepard did not leave Port Hanshen under any circumstances. She was pretty confident that had she so much as _looked_ in the direction of Peak 15, she would have been surrounded by Hanshen Security and frogmarched back to her ship. Only here, away from the prying eyes and ears of her guard dog, could she speak freely, "I've read the treaty the Council signed and everything he did was within his rights. This isn't technically Council space Garrus, my authority means bugger all to these people."

"So...what do we do now?" Ashley asked in clear concern.

"We could just do what the Administrator suggested." Kaidan chipped in, "wait for her to get back. I mean, with the _Ligny_ at the Relay, it's not as if she can just slip away."

"What if she boards another ship, hmm?" Wrex growled. He leaning back in his chair with his arms folded and an ugly look on his gnarled features, "you can't let this Pyjak tell you what to do, Shepard."

"Agreed," Shepard wasn't sure which part of Wrex's statement she was agreeing with, or all of it. All she knew was that the longer she spent in the presence of the Salarian with his agitated voice and smug expression, the more she had wanted to kick something over. The frustration was so thick it was almost material, as if she could reach out and grab it, "Benezia is here on Saren's behalf. Whatever she is doing is related to the Conduit, I know it! I need to know what it is, it might be the breakthrough we're looking for." on thinking of the Conduit, she turned her gaze to Liara.

The Asari was sitting in her chair, with her normal, bolt-upright pose and her hands on her knees. She was staring straight down, avoiding the gaze of anyone else, especially Shepard. She could feel that awkwardness again, a sensation that stayed her tongue. She wasn't sure she wanted to look into those eyes again, because she didn't know what she would see.

"Good! Fuck the Salarian with the biggest, rustiest bayonet you got! We're going to Peak 15!" Wrex laughed, rubbing his hands together in childish anticipation of their law breaking, "let's go!"

"Whoa Wrex," Shepard put a hand up as he went to stand, "we can't just fight our way through the entire Port. I mean...we _could_, but I would want to do this without a bloodbath."

"A Blood bath's good for you! Let's you vent every now and then."

"No."

"Bah!" The Krogan slumped back in his seat,

"What about the storm?" Tali asked, "the Administrator said that no shuttles could take off."

"Bullshit," Ashley cut across her Commander before she could reply, "those there are UT-42 Chiniaks sitting in that hangar. I've sat in the back of those bad boys as they flew through Category 5 storms. This one is Category 3 at best. Uncomfortable but certainly not impossible, or even really dangerous."

"Exactly," Shepard agreed, "The Chiniaks should be fine. He's lying to us."

Kaidan still looked worried. "How are we going to get past the Sergeant? I think if you even mention Peak 15 in her presence, you'll be in trouble." he asked.

Shepard pondered that, pacing up and down with her hands behind her back, footsteps silent on the deck plating. The rest of her team were silent as they considered their options, the best way to remove the troublesome guard. A hundred scenarios ran through her head; most involving violence which she quickly rejected. The woman was a bitch of the highest order, but that was not grounds to kill or wound her unnecessarily. No doubt if Saren had been in her place instead, he would have just shot her. The thought made her all the more determined to find a peaceful solution around it. The longer the silence dragged on, the more irritated she got. Benezia was so far ahead it was not even funny. She could have already completed her goals while she stood here trying to get around some annoying, jumped up bitch in her stupid, flashy armour-

-that was it!

"Kaidan! Ashley!" She wheeled on them, actually making the Sentinel flinch so sudden was her movement, "The humans in the security teams. Did you notice what type of armour they were wearing?"

"Hmm," they both considered it for a moment before Ashley answered in a slow, uncertain manner, her eyes never leaving her Commander, "Uhh...it looked like a form of Hydra Armour...possibly level 1 or 2?"

"Wait a minute..." Kaidan's eyes widened as the penny dropped, "are you going to try...I mean..."

"Right!" Shepard nodded enthusiastically, looking around at the others, "the Hydra Armour was in Alliance service for maybe a month before it was dropped. It was a nightmare; the tech security was all over the place and the interface frequencies were on public broadcast. The Alliance dropped them like hot potatoes. Noveria seems to me like the sort of cheap bastards to equip their security people with Alliance rejects. Now, we need to see if this will work or not so here's the plan; I'm going to go for a walk around Hanshen with my faithful pet at my side," she jerked her thumb at the hull, "Tali, can you try to get a scan on her armour and see if you can get some frequencies..."

The more she spoke, the more the face of her team lit up with the sort of childish glee that was coursing through her. She was actually excited to see if it would work, but there was one member of the team who was not sharing in her mischievous delight and that person, in all honesty, had a lot more on her mind than planning revenge against the Alpha Bitch.


	47. Chapter 47

AN: Apologies for the delay, got a little caught up in stuff. Here is the next instalment of Lauren's story, horaay!

* * *

"Well? Did you get it?" Shepard asked as they stepped out of the _Normandy_ decontamination bay and back onto the metal deck of the frigate itself.

"I think so," Tali sighed as her omni-tool flared into life, casting them both in bright orange shadows, her fingers flashing nimbly across it's surface, "I thought for sure she suspected something. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is as a Quarian to pretend your omni-tool is malfunctioning? I thought she was going to hit me at one point."

"I just don't think she likes quarians in general." the Spectre suggested, looking across at the omni-tool, hoping that they had gotten everything they needed. According to the plan, Shepard and Tali had gone back into Port Hanshen with the excuse of checking the weather forecasts. Of course, with all the reliability of a Swiss-made clock, there was the Sergeant, glowering at them like a pit-bull having a bad day. Tali had then feigned a malfunction in her omni-tool and the pair had returned to the ship having not even made it through Customs. Sterling muttered and cursed under her breath but accompanied them back to the ship, outside of which she was now waiting, as always. In reality, Tali had started the signal scan, hoping to pick up the unprotected frequencies of the Human's armour. Shepard crossed her fingers behind her back. She knew there was no realistic chance of them pulling the same stunt twice. Even the native guard would get suspicious.

"I have it!" Tali announced elatedly, her voice taking on a slight metallic edge through the filter with the increase in tone, "you weren't kidding Shepard. Look, I can change anything from this. Why did the Alliance think this was a good idea?"

"Well, they were trying to improve unit cohesion. They thought that if each soldier had read-only access to everyone else's suits, it would improve efficiency. As you can see though, the Communications Protocols are absolutely terrible. Not only could someone read the data from a suit, but they could modify it. It wasn't worth the risk of someone like the Batarians finding out so the whole project was shelved."

"And Noveria thought this would do for their soldiers?" The teenager asked in wonder as they passed through the CIC.

"The Alliance was looking to offload them at basement prices. I wouldn't be surprised if Noveria bought up the whole lot."

"Do you think they know?"

"Depends on how desperate the Alliance was to sell them, I reckon. If they were _really_ desperate then they might have just buried it somewhere in the user manual and forgot to bring it up."

The doors hissed open as they approached, the two Marines flanking them saluting stiffly as they passed through. The rest of the team was standing there; Garrus and Kaidan talking in low conversation, Ashley and Wrex pacing up and down in a mirror image of one another. Liara was sitting in one of the chairs, her head to the wall, with no interest in interaction at all.

Everyone looked up as Shepard and Tali entered, their questions coming out as a single, collective "Well?"

"We have the frequency," Tali replied keenly, her voice bubbling with enthusiasm, "I can get past this security easily enough. When I do, we'll have total control over the Sergeant's suit."

"Alright, then what?" Garrus asked, his beady eyes flicking to Shepard.

The redhead grinned, "Well, first of all, we throw in a nice little curve ball to convince the Sergeant her suit is broken _and_ that she is in major peril. That should get her off our backs long enough for us to have a nice little sniff around unhindered."

"What about cameras?" Kaidan chipped in.

"Tali, you want to answer?" Shepard turned her blue eyes to the Quarian.

She picked up on it immediately, "for somewhere so paranoid about security, their camera coverage is actually really poor. I think it's because no one trusts anyone else not to hack any public feeds. So the only places _really_ well protected seem to be the Corporate Headquarters themselves. Everywhere else, we have free reign."

"Alright, so we know the plan; chase off the Sergeant and let me get a look around." Shepard smiled, the sense of accomplishment intertwining itself with nerves. If this failed then they could look forward to expulsion from Noveria and giving Benezia a clear run at whatever it was she was doing here. Success on the other hand, could be just that little bit of elbow room they needed in the oppressive corporate atmosphere, "it'll just be me, Garrus and Tali going. I'll be harder to find on my own and a turian with a quarian won't raise too many eyebrows, I hope." She sighed, rubbing her hands together, "Wrex, Ashley, Kaidan and Liara. I want you to be around. In case things go tits up and we need some back up. Okay?" Everyone nodded, everyone but Liara, "then it's show-time."

When Shepard, Tali and Garrus exited the _Normandy_, they once again found the Sergeant sitting and waiting for them in the guard house overlooking the Alliance frigate. As they passed, she appended herself to their group without so much as a word of acknowledgement or apology. Shepard bit down on the frustration welling up in her stomach as usual at the woman's inimical attitude. At the same time, there was a slight sadistic pleasure at the thought that she would soon be able to get some measure of revenge. Sterling stuck to them like a shadow all the way through customs, all the way through the main plaza and into one of the major hotels that were dotted around the place. Shepard could feel the human's glare burning between her shoulder blades but she skilfully ignored it and instead started looking around for people to speak with.

"Tali, how's your omni-tool working?" She turned to the Quarian, aware of Sterling staring hard at her too. The woman's expression was making it very difficult to resist the urge to punch her, a look of utter condescension and disgust the likes of which she barely seen before, "can you check on the weather for me?"

"Oh, sure Shepard," Tali brought her omni-tool up, her gaze flicking to Sterling nervously every few seconds. Fortunately, Sterling seemed much more interested in the Commander.

"Spectre, why the hell did you drag me up here?" She asked with a hard exhale.

"_I _didn't drag you anywhere," Shepard countered, turning to the slighter taller woman, "_you_ invited yourself. Anyway, I'm here to see if I can find anyone who can tell me about Benezia or why she might be here."

"No way Spectre. The Administrator gave strict instructions that you are not to bother anyone in the port."

"I'm not going to ask any unnecessary awkward questions."

"Your _presence_ is awkward, Spectre. That's enough. No one will talk to you and you are forbidden from speaking to any citizens of Port Hanshen."

"So I'm not allowed to talk any more? Will I stop breathing too? Will that help?"

"You snarky bitch," Sterling snarled, her face starting to go red, voice raising, "What makes you think you have the _right_ to come here and start telling us what to do?"

"I'm not _telling_ anyone what to do. I'm doing my _job._ You might want to try it sometime." Shepard folded her arms, eyes narrowed but her voice staying level and calm.

"I'll have you arrested!"

"I'd like to see you try."

"I'll...I'll..." Sterling's face had continued to get redder and redder, to the point that she was starting to resemble a beetroot. Abruptly, the ugly look of anger across her features was replaced by alarm as beads of sweat started to run down her forehead, "what's...what's happening?"

"You feeling okay Sergeant?" Shepard raised an eyebrow, "You look like you need a drink."

"I...I..." the woman panted, her hair starting to stick to her face, "I've got to go," she turned and ran from the room, knocking a pair of asari out of her way as she reached the elevator.

Shepard turned to Tali, her eyebrow still raised.

"Hey, I only got this frequency ten minutes ago," the engineer replied defensively to the unspoken question, "I didn't know it was her temperature moderator...and then I got confused by this Fahrenheit measurement you use... "

"It's alright, she could do with cooling down anyway," Shepard waved her concern away and looked around the hotel with a grin. It felt good to be off the leash, if only for a while, "you two take up a position near the door, look out for a replacement." Garrus and Tali nodded, heading to the door and taking up a position directly in front of it, looking for all the world as if they were just in idle conversation.

The Spectre had barely gotten two steps forward before she heard a grumbling voice from her left, so filled with amusement it was almost a purr, "very nicely played, Spectre."

She wheeled around to see it belonged to a turian, dark skinned with a splash of grey across his face and stark white tattoos running across his features. He was lounging back in a chair, one leg crossed over the other, a half empty drink in front of him on the table.

She gave a small, neutral shrug, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Please. I saw what the quarian was doing. Don't worry, I approve. Sterling and her cronies have been scaring away anyone who might want to speak to you, like me."

"Really?" now she was interested, "who are you?"

"My name is Lorik Qui'in and I am the manager of Synthetic Insights here on Noveria. I was formerly deputy manager before my predecessor met an unfortunate end two weeks ago."

"I'm sorry, what happened?" Shepard leant in, lowering her voice.

"He was murdered. Stabbed in one of Port Hanshen's less reputable areas. Hanshen Security chalked it off as a robbery but I know there was more to it. Better than that, I know it involved an asari matriarch."

"Benezia?" Shepard asked excitedly, hardly daring to believe her luck. That she had run into him so quickly was incredibly fortunate. She ran her mind back to the past few hours, trying to remember if she had seen him around. His tattoos seemed striking but she could not place him. Had he been following her, just waiting for this chance?

He shook his head, "I can't say too much here, Commander. Anoleis has many more eyes and ears besides the Sergeant. What I can say is that we were told days in advance that you were coming, that your mission involved shutting down Synthetic Insights. I did not particularly care about it but my former superior and friend took exception to it. He went to find out why you were really coming."

"What did he find?"

"Not here. We can meet at my apartment tonight. It's on the second level of the Zaran complex. Room 26. Come alone," Qui'in drained his drink and, without so much as another word, headed off back towards the bar.

Shepard sat for a few moments, deep in thought, staring at the table as if it were the most fascinating thing in existence. Something was going on, something deeper and darker than mere bureaucracy. It had to involved Benezia and, by extension, Saren. Noveria was bad but their measures were effectively crippling her. There was something here they did not want her to find out.

She quickly rejoined Tali and Garrus before heading from the hotel. She very badly wanted to tell them what she had seen but she had the presence of mind to hold her tongue. Qui'in was right. The Administrator would have people everywhere and one word out of place now could kill off her only lead.

* * *

Only back on the _Normandy_, safe from prying eyes, did she finally spill all to the team, though not before she had done a little research in her cabin, typing frantically into her terminal. Only when she was confident did she reveal her little arrangement.

Kaidan, far from looking elated, had a look of real concern on his face, "Commander, are you sure this is not just a trap?"

"I checked out his back story and it seemed to fit. Lorik Qui'in, service number 768880, served in the Turian Military, the 112th Legion, fighting against pirates on the fringes of Hierarchy space. He won a couple of awards for bravery before he was honourably discharged, wounded on Terral. He joined Synthetic Insights ten years ago and was posted here five years ago." Shepard did not give the Sentinel a straight answer, refusing to give voice to the tiny part of her mind that agreed with him, that things were fitting a bit too smoothly into place.

"What about the murder he talked about?"

"Checked that out too. Maccius Numea was murdered thirteen days ago in a pretty dodgy area. He had served in the 112th Legion too, service number 768868, and was Lorik's unit commander. He saved Qui'in's life at Terral, running into pirate fire to bring him back to allied lines after he was hit. They left at the same time and joined Synthetic Insights but Numea was only posted here six months ago." That brought back memories, memories of doing just that. She could recall countless times she had thrown herself in the way for her team, for her crew. She could remember as well when it happened for her. An old squad leader, a Gunnery Chief who had dragged her out of the way when a pirate sniper opened up. She had never forgotten his name, his face. She had spent every day trying to make it up to him, trying to show that his efforts had not been in vain.

"Then he is not leading you into a trap, Commander," Garrus cut in before Kaidan could speak, the human instead watching the former-Detective warily, "any turian with a shred of dignity or honour in his soul would never dirty the name of a former friend and comrade like that, not when when he owed him his life."

"What do you think Garrus?" Shepard asked him, interested in his opinion.

He gave it a moment of thought, "I think he's being honest. He thinks one of his oldest friends has been murdered for information and he wants revenge. He's acting out of the best intentions."

"Bah," Wrex snorted from the corner but when Shepard turned her steely blue gaze on him, he did not elaborate further. She waited until she was sure he had wasn't going to start something before she began speaking.

"In either case, this is an opportunity we can't really afford to pass up. I'll head to his apartment tonight. Apparently the block is quite luxurious and quite empty so we should be undisturbed. Kaidan, Garrus, you guys come with me. Wrex...sorry, you stand out a bit too much and we're trying to be discreet." She flashed an apologetic look at the Krogan.

"Huh, fine." The Battlemaster crossed his arms, eyes narrowing and mouth tightening. Again, Shepard thought he was going to lash out, curse and swear. When he didn't, her eyes narrowed, sweeping his hardened face. That was the second time he'd turned down a chance to fight. What was wrong with him?

"Alright, we've got a few hours to kill until then. Everyone get yourselves ready. Kaidan, Garrus, meet me in my quarters at 2000 hours. We'll work out our plan from there. Everyone else is on stand by. I have no idea how this is going to turn out so we might need back up. Dismissed."

As the group broke up, heading for their own spaces and a bit of piece and quiet, Shepard caught Wrex on the shoulder. He turned to her, a spark of anger in his eyes for all of a moment before it dissipated.

"Wrex? What's up? You seem...pre-occupied."

"Nothing I can't handle myself, Shepard," He growled. Even though he was trying to seem laid back, the pitch of his voice suggested he definitely did not want to be overheard, "you wouldn't understand."

"Try me," she matched the level of her voice to his own, a demonstration that she wouldn't betray anything he wanted to keep confidential.

"Its this place Shepard. Something is wrong about this port. It stinks."

"It's a corporate haven Wrex, of course it stinks."

"I mean worse than usual. Worse than what you would expect. I don't like it. It's got me nervous and I don't like being nervous. All these meetings in dark alleys? Moving in the shadows? It's not how krogan fight."

"I know Wrex. I don't like it any more than you do but my hand's been forced." She ran a hand through her hair with a soft and tired exhale, gripping it slightly as it trailed through her fingers, "you think there's something wrong with this meeting?"

"Absolutely."

"Garrus seems to think we can trust Qui'in."

"He knows his own species but I know my gut, Shepard. It's never let me down before and right now, it's going haywire."

"Mine too," finally she admitted it. Ever since the euphoria of her breakthrough had drained away, Shepard had been left with a lingering and menacing cloud of doubt and uncertainty. She had tried to shake it, tried to convince herself that it was just nerves but she knew herself better than that and she knew better than to dismiss this feeling, "I'll take every precaution I can. I want you ready Wrex, I might need your help before the end of the night."

"I'll be ready," He nodded grimly. Shepard placed a grateful hand on his shoulder before she left, head still swimming in apprehension.

Qui'in had told her to come alone but she was not going to chance it. All she could do was prepare and get herself ready, but she still could not shake the feeling that she was walking head first into a trap.


	48. Chapter 48

For somewhere supposedly as corporate as Noveria, Port Hanshen was surprisingly quiet in the later hours of the evening. Perhaps it was something to do with the shops and corporate headquarters all having closed down the night. With them out of action, there really was little to do in the main port itself. Unsurprisingly, Sergeant Sterling was not waiting for her when she stepped out of the _Normandy_ again, no doubt still in a cold bath trying to cool down somewhere. Security seemed even more laid back than usual, the guard in customs waving her through without so much as a second glance. The Mezzanine was utterly deserted, aside from a few guards wandering about with rifles slung over their shoulders, trotting the walk of someone who was in a little dream world far away from here. As they passed through, Shepard spared a quick glance up to the Administrator's offices, a belt of glass between wall and roof at one end of the long hallway. She could see that all the lights were still on, yet more soldiers guarding there. There seemed to be people bringing crates up to the office, long and heavy, the floating drones seemed to be struggling to avoid scrapping off the steps. _Typical._

The Zaran Complex was located on the far side of the Port,the main entry point was flanked by two private guards, who waved her through once she identified herself. They stared suspiciously at Kaidan and Garrus but passed no comment. The fact that none of them appeared to be armed helped. Shepard had decided against bringing her rifle or her armour, in spite of her danger sense going haywire. In a port where Security already despised her, walking about with military equipment would be too much for even the most tolerant of law enforcement here. She could feel the comforting weight of her pistol under-arm, like a constant companion, willing her on.

Inside it was pretty much what she had expected based on her research. An open area onto which all the apartments faced, nicely decorated with beds of colourful flowers and bubbling fountains. There were two stories and her host was on the top one. The doors here were well spaced out, suggesting large apartments on the other side. Each had a little panel that was flashing red to indicate that they were locked. In the centre was a single lift. It looked as though it would be bright during the day but the lights had dimmed with the coming of the night, as if to imitate a moon shining down through the howling storm outside.

Once she was inside, Shepard turned to her two companions,  
"Alright, Garrus, you find somewhere quiet down here to put yourself. Watch the door and keep out of view. It doesn't look like there's any other way in so watch the entrance and let me know if anything comes in or out."

Garrus nodded and broke off from the other two, his head twisting from side to side as he sought the best hiding spot. He was a marksman, he understood how important concealment was. If he wanted to stay unseen, even in a place like this, then he could. The lights were casting plenty of shadows.

"Kaidan, with me." They stepped into the lift and began to climb upwards, the soft whirring of the mechanism and the twinkle of dull, inoffensive music doing enough to negate the need for talk. Shepard was trying to concentrate and Kaidan...Kaidan's thoughts were his own.

Once they stepped out, they could see that the top floor resembled a horizontal 'H' shape, with the lift in the centre line and apartments lined out to either side of it, front and back. Looking down, she could see the long row of flowers that formed the centre piece of the main foyer. Garrus was nowhere to be seen, just as she wanted.

"Kaidan," she turned to her fellow human, "same story as Garrus, okay? Find somewhere quiet and let me know what's happening up here."

"Aye ma'am," he paused, "Shepard, are you _sure_ you want to do this?"

She flashed him a confident smile that was not entirely genuine, "get into position, I'll call if I need help."

He sighed softly, nodded and headed off.

She counted down the doors until she reached number 26. Immediately she noticed something. Whereas all the doors she had seen so far had red panels, this one was green. It was open? Qui'in wouldn't leave his door open, not with something this important. Her hand went to the pistol tucked under her jacket, fingers gripping around the butt. Her other hand came to the radio nestled in her ear, linking her to her companions,  
"Qui'in's door is unlocked." She reported.

"Unlocked? Something's not right here," Garrus replied, his words slow and quiet, "even if Qui'in was expecting you, he shouldn't be that careless."

"You want us to join you, Commander?" Kaidan's voice was even quieter, almost a whisper.

"Negative," She instructed them, "hold your positions. I'll check it out."

Dropping her hand from her ear, she put it against the front door. It hissed open at the slightest contact, drawing back with a welcoming hiss to admit her into the apartment. It looked like it would have been quite an affluent abode if not for the condition it was in. It had been utterly trashed, with bits of cutlery and jewellery smashed, trinkets lying on the floor, cupboards open and contents strewn to the four corners of the open-planned qurters. The thing her eyes were immediately drawn to was the turian slumped on the sofa. There was a single shot through his chest.

"Damnit," She swore under her breath, weapon drawn in a flash, the light flicking to blue as she armed it, "Qui'in's down, the apartment's been ransacked. Call Hanshen Medical and Captain Matsuo, get them down here."

"We're meeting up with you Commander."

"Negative, Garrus, stay where you are. Let me know if anyone tries to get out." She brought her other hand to the pistol, holding it ready as she began to look around. Her steps were slow and deliberate, as if Qui'in was merely sleeping and she was trying not to wake him. She felt as if her senses had gone into overdrive, straining to hear the slightest chink, see the smallest movement, feel the slightest breath. Whoever had wrecked the apartment had been looking for something. Had they found it? She looked over at the safe embedded in the wall. Where were they? She glanced up at the security monitor in the corner. No doubt all the rooms had them, linked directly to Hanshen Security. Why had no one noticed the attack? Did it even work? The blood on the turian's chest had started to dry, so he had been dead for a while at least. His killers had not been thorough, it looked as though they had simply been smashing things in a primal rage, no thought or consideration. That gave her hope. If they had been this careless and Qui'in had been as smart as she thought he was then they may not have found what they were looking for.

Would she have any more luck? She tried to think like he would have thought, a turian. A proud man, someone who was disgusted by intrigue and backstabbing, someone who knew their comrade and boss had been murdered. A man like Qui'in would not have left his evidence in his apartment. It was too easy to burgle, but he would not have trusted somewhere like a bank, especially not on Noveria. After his Manager's death, the only person he could trust was himself...

She went to the turian's body and began to search the pockets of his jacket. Maybe he had written it down on a piece of paper? She stopped almost immediately. _Muchtoo obvious_. Maybe on his omnitool then? He could have left it secured on his personal device, knowing that the only way anyone would get to it was through him. Kneeling on the seat beside him, she fired up his omni-tool and began searching. It took only a few moments of searching to find what she was looking for, a single file stored under the name SHEPARD. Suspicious, she tried to open it and, sure enough, she was greeted by a large screen requesting a password.

She thought through her options. She had no idea how long it would take Tali to crack and their time was short. She had no doubt there was protection to stop someone from copying the unopened fire to another omni-tool, destroying the data or perhaps the omni-tool. No, she had to crack it here and now. Once Matuso and her people were swarming the place, she might not get another look. She might not get another chance.

_'Alright Lauren, think like a turian. He had this data file. He wanted me to see it..._' She tried inputting 'SHEPARD' but saw it was too short and wiped the value. 'SPECTRE_SHEPARD' was too long and she again deleted her effort rather than try her luck. She suspected she might get three chances at this before the file was wiped. She had to find a 13 letter password and she had to do it quick. She stopped again, trying to get into the mind of the man who lay dead beside her. She tried to think about what she had read about him, his file...

_'Alright, he wanted me to see this. He wanted me to look at it. He must have known that he might be killed before this was given to me, especially after what happened to Numea. He would not have made it something impossible, something that I couldn't guess. Something that would make sense to me and not to any of his pursuers. What do we share in common?'_ She thought back to his profile, _'we were both soldiers. Would it have something to do with that? Qui'in only left the military because he was wounded. It meant everything to him.'_ that struck a painful cord with her, _'so...something only a soldier would understand...'_ she was trying to think, trying to remember everything he had said to her. Qui'in was a clever bastard, he would have left her enough breadcrumbs to follow.

As she pondered it, the answer came to her in a flood of inspiration, _'Of course! Qui'in told me he didn't care about me or my arrival. This was his superior's fight. When he was murdered, Qui'in took over the fight because the man was his comrade, his brother in arms. Garrus said they had spilt blood together. Qui'in risked his life for something that didn't concern him, that he had no need to get involved in, just because of his friend. It's brotherhood that only the military can really breed...'_

She went back to the omni-tool, the flashing password screen taunting her, daring her to enter something. It had to be something to do with Terral...the planet where Qui'in was wounded and Numea had saved his life. He was a career man and to owe his life to someone like that...it would have meant a lot to him...

_Of course._ She cursed herself that it had taken so long to work out. Numea had saved his life at Terral. She had been in that position once. Wounded and in pain, she had submitted to dying before he appeared like an angel to her. Gunnery Chief Oates had dragged her out of cover, cursing the entire time, dodging the fire that seemed to surround them. He had saved her life. She remembered what she had felt after that moment, a sense of loyalty, a connection unique only to that position. From then on, she had fought like a demon for him, because she was trying to prove that his risk had been worth it.

_'Who was Qui'in fighting to prove himself to? Who had risked his life for him?'_

Looking back at the omni-tool, with a slow breath to steady herself, she began to type. Button after button, until she was ready. She gave the code one last look over.

TERRAL_768868

She pressed the enter key.

There was a green flash and the contents of the file were opened up to her, sitting there, just waiting for her to play them. The sense of victory was washed away in seconds by the familiar sense of coldness. As a trembling hand went to activate the file, her ear buzzed with Kaidan's urgent voice.

"Commander, three people approaching in the hall!" a pause, "it's the Sergeant! She's got two guards with her, they're coming in open formation."

"What? Commander, they didn't come past me..." Garrus added, "I'm on my way."

"Don't reveal yourself yet. There might be nothing to it, we did call for backup" Shepard whispered back, now very much aware of the footsteps coming down the hall, armoured footsteps, "rendezvous with Kaidan. Wait for my signal before moving in." She paused herself, lips dry, "be ready."

The door hissed open behind her. She turned to face them, weapon half up and ready. There she was, Sergeant Sterling wearing the same armour as before, rifle steady in her hands, raised up in the firing position. There were two guards with her, both human, skin headed, likewise with rifle butts in their shoulders, ready for action.

Before she could say so much as word, Sterling barked a command, "pistol on the ground! Now!"

Shepard dropped her weapon. It made a metallic thud as it hit the ground. Her eyes narrowed, her heart racing as adrenaline flooded her body. Her hands were half-up, a sign of peace.

Sterling sneered triumphantly, "Well, well...the Spectre gets off the leash for two hours and already she starts killing people. This is the best the Council has to offer?" She shook her head condescendingly.

"Sergeant," Shepard urged, trying to keep her voice calm in spite of the rising fear, "I did not kill this man. I'm the one who called it in. The Captain is on her way, we can talk about this when she gets here."

Shepard saw her expression change, a brief flicker that she could only have imagined was there for a moment. The sneer vanished, replaced instead by a look of panic. That was what set the Commander's mind. All the pieces fell into place.

"So," She said, watching the trio like hawks, tensed herself like a predator ready to strike, "that was it hmm? What's going on here Sergeant? What did Qui'in and Numea have that was worth killing them for?"

"You're holding it, Spectre," Sterling answered with the half-sneer, half grimace settled back into place, "I knew the file was on the turian's omni-tool but I could never have guessed the password."

'_How did she knew I had cracked the password?'_ Shepard went back over it in her mind and gave a mental exhale, _Of course, the cameras. 'A direct link to Hanshen Security...and to Sterling...waiting in one of the apartments down the hall...Someone as self-centred as Sterling could never understand a soldier's bond. She could never understand dying just to settle a debt...'_

"So what now, Sergeant?" She said aloud, "do you arrest me?"

"Arrest you? Ha! That would be good..." a pause, following by a large, evil smile, "...if you had not been killed while attempting to esca-"

Shepard threw her left hand forward. Sterling's sinister, victorious words caught in her throat, replaced by a screech as she found herself floating, legs kicking frantically, like a swimmer trying to keep afloat. With her other hand she swept at the two guards gawping at their floating Sergeant. The pair of them cracked against the wall with a sickening thud, their weapons spinning away. Without looking, Shepard gestured with her left arm and sent Sterling spinning helplessly into the wall. Her impact cracked the glass, giving it the appearance of a spider's web. Still, Sterling fell to the ground.

The two men were struggling to their feet, hands scrambling for their side arms. Acting on animal-instinct, unaware of even her own thoughts, Shepard swept a palm at one of the two security guards. The blue band encased his ankle and, with a yelp, he crashed to the ground, his pistol wheeling through the air. The Spectre stretched out her hand towards the gun, encasing it in blue energy as it changed direction and came for her like metal drawn to a magnet. She grabbed it, fingers gripping the slightly warm metal triumphantly.

The other guard was bringing his pistol up as Shepard lowered hers, she was briefly aware of grey eyes staring at her before she pulled the trigger. The noise of the gun reverberated in the apartment until it sounded like a volley of shots all following one after the other. She picked up movement out of the corner of her eye, a shape and nothing more. She threw herself to the ground, twisting so she landed on her back, pistol held in two hands. She fired one shot. The round shattered the window over Qui'in's head, allowing the howling wind and snow to sweep in over her for brief moment before an energy field activated automatically to contain it. In front of the field, cast in orange, Sterling slumped over the couch, the pistol falling out of her hand, a trickle of blood running down her forehead from the perfect shot in her above her eyes.

Shepard lifted herself from the floor, careful to avoid any of the glass blown inwards by the winds. There was the sound of more footsteps in the hall, many, many more. They were rapid growing louder with each passing second. She raised her pistol and pointed to the door. She heard Kaidan's voice, loud and panicked,  
"Commander? Are you okay?"

"Fine Kaidan," She lowed the weapon just as the hammering footsteps reached their climax. Kaidan and Garrus were there, pistols out and ready while behind them, Catain Matsuo and a half dozen more Hanshen Security grouped, armed and clad with the same equipment as the trio who had just tried to kill her.

"What happened to that signal?" Garrus asked accusingly.

"Didn't I tell you? Gunshots are the signal," Shepard laughed, but it was only then she realised how heavily she was breathing, how tightly she was gripping the pistol. There was a fine sheen of sweat on her brow. _Damn that was close..._

"Commander, I don't..." Matsuo tried to ask, her voice wrought with anguish, but Shepard cut her off. She had heard something over the sound of her own laboured breaths and racing heart. A slight beeping. She went behind the sofa to where Sterling lay on her side, eyes staring wide, hair matted and slick with blood. Her omni-tool was flashing.

Shepard pressed the button. A familiar voice filled the room,

"Is it done Sergeant? Did you get them both?"

"Not quite Administrator, still, one of two is not so bad," Shepard replied darkly.

"Shepard! Shit!" he hung up.

"Commander...what...was that the Administrator?" Matsuo looked as though she was about to faint, "why was he contacting Kaira"

"Your Sergeant, the one who has been watching me like a hawk, tried to kill me Captain." Shepard answered as if it were the most matter-of-fact thing in the universe, "she also killed Lorik Qui'in and Maccius Numea on the orders of Administrator Anoleis. They died because they found something, something which I am about to play."

She pressed the play button on Qui'in's omni-tool. Finally, the data he and his comrade had died for would come to light. It was a recording, no images but voices as clear as day. The first one speaking had been heard in the room just seconds before,

"Matriarch? You were right, there's a Spectre in orbit looking to land. What do we do?"

The second voice was also clearly recognisable, she had never met the owner, but she had heard it on a recording similar to this, "Commander Shepard is a major threat to our plans. Things will need to be brought forward. Use your own discretion. Remove her in any way possible."

"Of course Matriarch. I will report back when the job is done and the port is mine."

"The port..." Matsuo seemed to have gone into a sort of base mode of operating, where she was only capable of echoing the last few lines spoken, "I don't understand. Commander..."

The pieces dropped into place for Shepard like a puzzle solving itself and then immediately shattered again like glass as the full implications hit her. She felt herself go light-headed, "Oh shit..." She choked.

"What? Shepard, what is it?" Garrus leant in, his features full of concern.

"Benezia wasn't just here to check on Peak 15...she was delivering something...a cargo for Anoleis...for their plans." She turned to Matsuo, "Captain, get every guard up and at combat stations now! Full alert. I mean everyone; on duty, off-duty, heavy-duty, every one. Do you understand?" Shepard's voice was filled with authority and the Asian woman seemed to understand. She nodded.

"Shepard, what is happening?" She asked in a rather pitiful way.

"Come on, I'll explain on the way!" Shepard pushed past them all, stopping only to scoop up one of the dead guard's rifles. Her heart had been beating quickly before but now it had gone into over-drive, going like an engine at maximum revs, her head throbbing at what she had realised. How could she have been so stupid?

She had thought, when she arrived, that a good Alliance Company could secure Port Hanshen in two hours...

She would bet her pension a good Geth Company would not be far behind...


End file.
